Per 
053, one day during a containment breach, escaped her cell after sitting in there for 30 years. It was time for her to get a job, but one thing was blocking her. Her dad had shown up.
"053," said the Scarlet King.
"Stop!"053 held her hand out in the style of Dora, "I'm calling the cops!"
The Scarlet King was so traumatized he got on his motorcycle, fell off a cliff, did a loop around the solar system, flew up, crashed his head into a seagull, and died.
076-2 was watching and slapped his brother, Cain assumed his hands and knees in a taco costume, 076-2 mounting Cains' saddle," Onwards!"
Both rode off into the sunset.
"Faster daddy faster!" trailed off Cains' voice.
053 walked around town asking people if there was a place that was hiring. She saw 166 doing a prayer circle with just her self, a few baby dolls, and a photo of Michael Jackson.
"HEE_HEE! ShamonaE!!"She yelled out loud, grabbed her crouch hopping on her tiptoes, palm up flat tapping a tiny baggy of white crazy dust on top of it.
053 clapped and threw a quarter, walking away she found a homeless man:
"Hello my child, I am a god. They called me 343… I came because I sensed someone calling my name mid-coitus."
"Was it my parents?"
"No, they're dead."
"I don't believe in you anymore."
"That won't make me go away."
053 got out her gun and shot him in the chest six times and once in her own eye because she was cool that way, looking up to the sky, "So you do exist." she said back down to the body.
She stopped until she was outside the Walmart, that was being run by Iris who spent all her time in the garden department, illegally selling Jiffy lube covered in leaf pasties thinking she was Poison Ivy.
"Batman?"
"No, I'm 053."
"Damn it! Naruto Uzumaki-chan! Buy my lube!"
"Why do you want someone to buy them so badly?"
"So we can do roleplay."
"Hey you silly girl, you're breaking the law," Said smokey the bear in a sassy lisp, walking in." Don't you know only you can prevent wildfires!"
"I'm leaving. You, people, need the emergency room." said as she ran away running up to an uber driver and jacking the car like grand theft auto.
"Wait!" yelled Iris, "This wasn't part of the plan!" but it was too late she was already learning about fire prevention forcefully.
She drove to the Ikea that was nearby, hitting Dr.Bright, who got up and was okay but was hit by a car that turned out to be a tank, but it was okay to kill Dr.Bright cause of his really girly necklace, all the kids on the playground did it, so Dr. Gears ran up and grabbed and sold it to the pawnshop.
But he couldn't get anything out of it, so he used it to plug his ass.
"I work here?" 053 asks the sad skinny white man.
"Yes," says Chinese 096."But you must know the muffin man."
"Ok."
053 was happy she found somewhere she finally belongs, with a marker she found a wall in the Ikea and wrote her name on it. Hand drawn Cassie got angry and exploded nearby.
One night 053 was in the aisles when she saw a lizard in the meat section he was ordering one hundred pounds of sausage links, she knew the lizard and went to ask.
"Hi 682 what are you doing with all that sausage?"
682 shook nervously and ran away with all the sausage.
"Well that was weird." said 053."I am going to go to sleep now."
053 then went to go sleep in the furniture section where she collected all the pillows. Some had sticky white stains on them. Next, she saw SCP-999 exit the pile she had just made with Lolly the clown.
"Thanks," said Lolly."I needed that."
SCP-999 pulled out a Glock 18. full auto."Shut up bitch." he said in his little pimp hat with the feather on it."Wheres my money!!"
Lolly pulled out her Colt M1911 .45 ACP from her Prada bag."What you say you little beeetch!!" she said loudly.
Thier were gunshots and screams from the alley that night. No one cared enough to call the cops so it was up to 053 to clean up the mess. 053 was then awarded employee of the month for her bravery courage and ingenuity in corpse removal.
053 woke up the next morning to feel someone hitting her in the duck. She went in the shower where she punched the shower head out of blood lust.
"FUCK YOU Tinker Bell!"
She laughed and cried making faces in the mirror, then
053 put on some clothes, removed her shirt and flexed her abs. She then punches every one inside the Ikea until they die. Some blood sprayed up and splashed on them.
After they all died she felt bad about what she did and jumped off the Ikea then quit her job.
THE END
Tale the second 682 dies
Two, mobile taskforce researchers, Bobby, and Joe were having a good time. They sang, danced and sipped milkshakes from the same straw, then got married. They had a lot of kids, one was named Jesus and the rest were called Barrak Obama.
"Man, I'm so happy nothing happened so far that will make us dead."
"I love you, honey," he said to the jar with large capital, H-O-N-E-Y.
"Hey man, put that down I saw some bear stick his dick in it." said some random helpful bystander dude.
Then SCP-682 ran out of the wall and ate Bobby.
"Who was that?"
Then 682 ate Joe who played 'pumped up kicks' because that was the perfect song to play at the moment.
682 began to sob."This was a delicious and nutritious breakfast, just like your moms' ass."
Just then Captain planet hand glided in, did a backflip off SCP-2845 (The Deers) weird ring balls, and threw some dirt on 682.
682 rubbed two bars of soaps together between his legs, gathering electricity and dancing, then it whipped out its sausage from Ikea!
"WEUYYYYUOUGH!" said Captain planet, who clenched his but cheeks tight and they perked and shined.
But it failed!
The sausage links ran into Captain Planets bottom like a train, it entered the tunnel, exiting his mouth they all fell around 682s neck like a necklace. Captain Planet now no different from one of the many meat tubes in the necklace, moaned endlessly in a suggestive manner.
The lizard slurped the saliva in his mouth."Now that's some good puusssy!"
682 skipped merrily until he tripped and fell over 049 and could not get up because he was too full of the sweet, sweet sausage. Now he was tumbling down the hill he caught onto cacti and dead babies.
The END.
Tale three Shmex in the hundred-acre woods.
Winnie the pooh was both drunk and high at the same time paying all his child support. Piglet was twerking on Dr. Clef until the fake Brazilian ass cheeks on his back, above his real ones, were red hot and burned his lap.
"Oooof!" Clef screamed and then died.
"Damn it piglet! Wheres my charger!? I need to charge me iPhone I'm on 10 percent! I'm dying! "said Tigger in a crapped pants strut, in a calm rage and nipple chains.
"I'm happy for you Tigger. I'll be at your funeral."
"Now you rejected happy birds villain!"
"Ooooh… hold on Tigger."
Piglet squatted and pulled the USB port out of his but."UGH! Me Gusta!" it sounds like he enjoys it as the cable takes a long time to come out because he had tied the hundred other cables together like a scarf rope that was now piling out, curling up like a snake, when at last- the end wouldn't come out.
"Come on tiger yank harder!"
"I'm trying! EUUUURRRRUUUUUUUGH!"Tiggers hand went faster and faster, stroke after stroke.
"Opppph, heeheehee!" giggled Pigglet making sure the homeless people in his basement were fed.
"We're gonna need to bring out the big guns!"
Rabbit twitched and tweaked on pure white congo cocaine as he ran piglet over in a Honda civic, something in an embryonic sac shoved out his mouth like the rest of the toothpaste in a container or a snake regurgitating its last meal.
Then seven fat babies dressed in robes peeked thier fat baby heads over the hills behind Robert Bromero. (Now no longer Burmero as since the divorce with his wife, Grand Karcist Ion.)
"FUUUUCK YEAH FREE MCDONALDS!" they yelled.
They hit the womb sac with a scythe. Happy meals tumbled out in droves. The babies began to munch happily, when Winnie the Pooh come over with a shotgun.
"Hey!" he screamed."That's my property."
"No U!!" proclaimed Robert Bromero as the heavens above split like asscheeks.
"@Re U L1K3 K!DD1@9 M3!? TH15 I5 G6y!" screamed SCP-239 from the trunk of the Honda.
Then the car blew up.
"Oh no, they died!" said Stella, the real star eyed child."Praise the lord!"
"Look, children!" said Dr. Rights to her kindergarten class as they passed the scene."Go have fun!"
The obese children cheered and ran into the flames with a great amount of exertion. Thier flesh burned off like flakes of paint and off a pungent scent as they danced merrily, they dropped one by one. As that happened, 053 got became hired at pizza hut. She stared off as she opened the store into the morning sun wondering what the future would bring.
[https://youtu.be/pSK_siVPYvc ] Cyrusfiredawns reading. (some parts are different due to editing.)
