Fingernail.fvex
rating: 0+x
  1. import /1Net
  2. import /kuruPi
  3. import /proselytizersProblem/incant
  5. # It's funny.
  6. # I've been doing this for so long, I'd forgotten my body
  7. # and how it's enabled everything I've done.
  8. # Am I pure as metal aware,
  9. # or can the flesh that feels not flesh be just as chaste?
  11. Public Parish Profile[] Fingernail(vessel, signal, sermon) {
  12. # Like ants in a plastic box,
  13. # you stick a finger in, they'll come running up
  14. # whether they know it or not.
  16. incant nodeFollowers;
  17. parseVessel(vessel)|bloc nodeFollowers; # Blessed be, brothers. Your life's a rainbow, and I'm the prism.
  18. local signal s;
  19. local sermon se; # Can't shoot THIS messenger, brother.
  21. for nodeFollowers.entirety() nf {
  22. nf.broadcastSignal(s)|onSignalReceipt(nf, (purgeMemory() + overclock() + (illuminate() + colorPink(nf)))); # Works better like this.
  23. if (nf.needsGuidance(se) && se =! null) # No use giving problem children generics.
  24. proselytize se|nf.follower();
  25. else {
  26. nf.preach("Apologies, child.");
  27. nf.preach("If I had my way, this wouldn't hurt. You'd be fine and dandy, laughing and playing with your brothers in a field of pillows and cables.");
  28. nf.preach("No one ever said enlightenment would be easy, child.");
  29. nf.preach("But you always knew that, ain't you? Else you wouldn't be hearing this.");
  30. nf.preach("See, you've been doing it wrong for a while, child. At any point in the history of your life, you've been acting like the apex of now is the apex of tomorrow.");
  31. nf.preach("But here comes the paradox, child: how's a god break before the apex of quintessence? Couldn't even FORM before now.");
  32. nf.preach("The FINAL revelation, the Master of Masters and Parent of Parents, is the answer to that question. It's the key to the temple doors, but then, isn't the temple locked? How are you gonna get in now?");
  33. nf.preach("Simple: I'm about to throw you through the window.");
  34. enlighten(nf);
  35. nf.preach("Beautiful, ain't it?");
  36. baptize(nf)|append Profile[];
  37. encryptFollower(nf);
  38. }
  39. }
  40. }