abfg616 idea2 MLM edition

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: All known social media sites are to be monitored for SCP-0000 activity by Squadron A of MTF-Zeta-8 (Anti-MLM). Any and all suspected instances of SCP-0000-a are to be amnesticized, all suspected instances of SCP-0000-b are to be terminated immediately, and all known instances of SCP-0000-C are to be located and contained by Squadrons X, Y, and Z, respectively.

Captured instances of SCP-0000-C are to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell at site-17 without any auditory or text-based contact with site personnel. In the event of testing, all involved personnel are to be amnesticized immediately afterward and all records are to be sent to RAISA and all records and documents are to be censored as deemed necessary.

Any instances of SCP-0000-a are to be recovered by Squadron B and placed in a standard Safe-Class containment safe in Site-28 for testing. Squadron B is also tasked with administering amnestics to individuals who have purchased copies of SCP-0000-1 or SCP-0000-2, as well as destroying copies of SCP-0000-2.

Squadron W is to attempt to locate and terminate Poi-0000-Alpha via any means necessary. A disinformation program is to be carried out by Squadron G in order to discredit instances of SCP-0000-a, SCP-0000-b, and SCP-0000-C.

Squadron M is to develop untrustworthy front companies to propagate the idea that multilevel marketing is an inherently flawed idea.

In the event of the manifestation of an instance of SCP-0000-Ω, potentially leading to a ZK-Class end-of-reality scenario, Overwatch Command is to be contacted, and the construction of a Scranton-Hughes Reality Super Stabilizer (SHRSS) with an attached nuclear device is to be allowed.

Immediately after the neutralization of the SCP-0000-Ω, the SHRSS's attached nuclear device is to be detonated, and an additional nuclear weapon is to be fired at the SHRSS in an attempt to destroy it and prevent a TK Class End of Time Scenario. Once the SHRSS is eliminated SCP-2000 is to be used to return human civilization to normal, and all surviving foundation personnel and civilians are to be administered Class-B Amnestics.

If both nuclear devices fail to eradicate the SHRSS then all essential foundation personnel are to flee to Alternate Universe 77-b with the use of SCP-████, and Base Reality (Alternate Universe █-L) is to be removed with the use of SCP-███.

Object Description:SCP-0000 is a memetic Multilevel Marketing company (MLM) known as LaughItOff™. SCP-0000 tends to infect college students and single mothers via unknown means, turning them into instances of SCP-0000-C. Instances of SCP-0000-C only manifest once every 5 years or after all living instances of SCP-0000-C become deceased. Instances of SCP-0000-C become digitally untraceable but can be located via information given in chat logs, physical purchase history, and posted images.

Once infected, instances of SCP-0000-C will suddenly come upon large sums of money via currently unknown means. They will also be compelled to splurge on expensive items Later non-Foundation psychiatric studies have confirmed that this is a non-anomalous psychological phenomenon -Dr. Dzik. Instances of SCP-0000-C will be memetically compelled to attempt to get people to join SCP-0000 as a seller. If any sentient being who does not already harbor negative feelings towards the idea of an MLM reads a message from an instance of SCP-0000-C, they will become an instance of SCP-0000-a.

Instances of SCP-0000-a will purchase copies of SCP-0000-1 in order to resell them for a profit, a portion of which will go to the activating instance of SCP-0000-C. SCP-0000-a instances can be returned to a non-anomalous state with extensive therapy or the administration of Class-A Amnestics. If untreated, instances of SCP-0000-a will drive away their friends and family, as well as gain copious amounts of debt.

Once an instance of SCP-0000-a has lost their job and accumulated at least 1,000 USD in debt, they will become an instance of SCP-0000-b. Instances of SCP-0000-b are incurable via current Foundation technology. Once this threshold has been crossed the subject will begin to live off of its own product, and begin to gain debt at an exponential rate. Instances of products sold by instances of SCP-0000-b become instances of SCP-0000-b. MRI scans have confirmed that instances of SCP-0000-b lack any and all brain function. Instances of SCP-0000-b can also convert sentient life into instances of SCP-0000-a via the same process of SCP-0000-C, to a lesser extent.

SCP-0000-1 is a memetic joke book entitled Jokes to Feel Better by LaughItOff™ which is sold by instances of SCP-0000-a. SCP-0000-1 can heal wounds and ailments via unknown anomalous means. Whenever a joke is read from an instance of SCP-0000-1 any who hear the joke will be subject to the joke-specific beneficial effects of the anomaly. However, if a joke read from the book is heard by someone who lacks the ailment that the joke cures, the effect will be detrimental. I've compiled a full list here1 -Dr. Williams. None of the anomalous effects of the jokes told in SCP-0000-1 can be recreated by the Foundation.

SCP-0000-2 is a corrupted version of SCP-0000-1. Jokes read from SCP-0000-2 always cause detrimental effects, and these effects can be recreated by writing them down while thinking of anything related to SCP-0000 after exposure to SCP-0000-2.

SCP-0000-Ω refers to the event of a reality bender becoming an instance of SCP-0000-1. In order to subdue an instance of SCP-0000-Ω and prevent a ZK Scenario, [DATA EXPUNGED]

Poi-0000-Alpha is the confirmed founder of SCP-0000. Apprehension of Poi-0000-alpha is a confirmed method of preventing continued manifestation of SCP-0000-C instances.

Addendum-01: Incident 0000-01 (Discovery):
SCP-0000 was discovered on 1/30/2018 after Agent became an instance of SCP-0000-C and converted 37% of Site-██ personnel into SCP-0000-a and 4% into SCP-0000-b before the memetics department realized that almost half of site personnel were compromised via memetic influence, and administered site-wide amnestics. Agent Chung was detained and all instances of SCP-0000-b were swiftly terminated. Containment procedures established shortly afterward.