Per 
DR CLEF: The Man, The Legend
An armored car zooms through the road; dust storms in its wake. The lab coat of the driver is caught in the wind, flapping behind him. A large silver case sits in the passenger chair, firmly strapped down. The radio kicks up.
“Clef! Come in Clef!” The driver turns on the speakers.
“You better have good news for me, Bright!” Alto Clef said.
“Clef what you’re doing is suicidal even for you! Get your ass back here, we’re sending an MTF to the site.”
“Like hell, Jack! They won’t get there in time and they aren’t prepared like I am.”
“Listen to yourself! You’re alone with nothing but a sniper rifle and a shitty personality. That’s not what I call prepared for the current situation!”
“Do me a favor. Tell Gears that if she’s dead when I get there, I’ll personally shove that amulet of yours up his ass. Clef out.”
“Don’t you turn off that-“ Clef flips the radio off and glares down the road. He could see the structures of the SCP Site in the distance.
“I don’t know what impulse made me do this,” He says to himself “but I’m going to get this done.”
***
“Clef won’t answer.” Dr. Bright says, he looks over at Dr. Gears.
“Who the hell told him about it!?”
“You really think he wouldn’t have figured it out himself, Bright?”
“True, but it would’ve been better had it been AFTER we sent Nine-Tailed Fox!”
“They just got back from the containment breach at another site. But it’s too much of a coincidence that the SCP-682 breach took place when the MTF was already deployed.”
“That’s because it was a set up.” An elderly gentleman steps into the lab.
“05-1? Is the situation that serious for you to be here?”
“The first breach was a decoy. A small group of Chaos Insurgency soldiers had managed to release anomalies, but they didn’t have any purpose other than to call away Nine Tailed Fox. Their real objective, was to capture anomalies and bring them to SCP-2317.”
“What? Are they trying to interrupt the ritual?”
“Gears, you and I both know that you and Bright know about the clearance information that is ABOVE your clearance. I’m not a fool. There is no real ritual that works and so I think they are trying to accelerate the last chain breaking.”
“What anomalies have they captured? Other than SCP-682.” Bright glares at Gears.
“Don’t give me that Bright! You and Clef have the impression I moved it on a whim. It’s mandatory for it to be in a temporary hold in between termination trials. Releasing an omnicidal reptile seemed stupid even for the Serpent’s Hand. And I requested more guards and ALL of them happened to be Insurgency moles. Take it up with intelligence for not spotting them sooner.”
“That is also the reason I and the rest of the 05 Council have taken an interest in this. Firstly, to answer your question, you should know that SCP-166 was taken.”
“We heard there was a breach at her site, that’s where SCP-682 was placed for temporary storage. Since it was the closest to the termination trial.”
“I’m afraid the termination trial was never meant to take place, Jack. At least, It wasn’t meant to take place where the staff and directors were told. Dr. Gears doesn’t make mistakes like this even on his worst days. We have a traitor amongst us.”
Clef had arrived at the Site of SCP-2317. When he heard the site of SCP-166 was breached, something seemed off to him. The timing of SCP-682 being let go, it smelled of a trap. It wasn’t hard to track a large storage car of a killer immortal lizard. And wherever it was he was sure 166 was there as well. He ponders stopping and sneaking in the site.
“Fuck it.” Dr. Clef hammers down on the petal. The Insurgency was still fighting Foundation soldiers, the gate to the site still forced open. He wouldn’t refuse an invitation to crash this party. As he passes through the gates, Insurgents who were firing upon SCP personnel look in shock too late.
Dr. Clef runs over and runs through units of soldiers until they finally stop to open fire on him. He ducked and with his off-hand unstrap the metal box in the passenger side. He pulls out a large sniper rifle from the box. As the bullets rain through the glass, spraying over Clef’s back, he let go of the wheel and dives out the car. He lands on an insurgent, knocking the man out. The car kept going and crashes into other Insurgents. With the remaining insurgents in front of him distracted, he takes aim and fires, headshot. A quick pull of the bolt, fire, headshot. Quick pull, fire, headshot. Another pull, fire, two heads with one bullet.
Clef was surprised by an attack behind him, using the rifle to take the brunt of a large knife. Three insurgents rush him. Clef threw his rifle on one, distracting them, and kicked their shin in. Screaming in pain, Clef grabs the soldier’s knife and slashed their throat. The other two attacked Clef from opposite sides. One tried to stab Clef, He responds by jumping off his head, the other soldier then accidently slashes the stabbing insurgent as a result. Before the last soldier could recover from killing their friend, Clef, still mid-air, brings the knife down on the insurgent’s back.
Leaving the knife in the soldier, Clef goes to meet the surviving SCP soldiers. Most of them were taking cover in a small outpost. When Clef arrives they all aimed their guns at him.
“Put that shit away and tell me where they took the lizard and the girl.” One member points behind Clef.
“They took them to SCP-2317. They’re already there by now.” They were interrupted by a call from the soldier’s headset.
“Yes this is…oh, sir. Yes, sir.” The soldier gave Clef his headset, as well as their rifle and camera gear. Clef listens into the headset.
“I see you’ve already made it to Site-2317.”
“05-1? If you’ve been monitoring this, why hasn’t another team been sent in?”
“Unfortunately, we were set up. And I think I know by who. In the meantime, we’ll be advising you from here. Bright, Gears, I and the other O5’s are monitoring as well. We have an XK on hand and we need to confirm the culprit.”
“I don’t care who it is, someone’s about to get their head caved in.”
***
“Is Clef really qualified for this?” asks one of the O5’s observing.
“Well he’s immune to many anomalous effects, and besides that he’s the only one there. The soldiers are too injured, and some will instantly fall for SCP-166’s effect.” Bright states.
“One, what do you think?”
“Since the day I met him there was something terrifying about his presence. But it was hidden, under a deep iceberg, ironically why he seems so jaded and apathetic. The only time I’ve seen Clef show feeling towards was SCP-166. He has tried to hide it but there’s a part of him that cares more than he allows. I believe the mystery behind the man, is about to be given light. Amid this possible XK, I think Clef is the only one who can stop this.”
“That sounds like nonsense, One.”
“It’s the only thing we have left. And I think our traitor knows that too.”
***
Clef walks through a door into an empty world of nothing but seven stone pillars and a thaumaturgic circle within them. At least, that is normally all that would be here. But there is also a huge container, where SCP-682 is locked up. And a naked girl, SCP-166, bound by chains burning her. And there is another blonde haired male in front of her with his back turned but Clef already knew who it was.
“If you were going to betray the foundation, O5-13, you should’ve left her out of it.”
The traitorous O5 turns to face Clef.
“I’m not a traitor Clef, I’m simply doing what needs to be done.”
“Don’t use that line on me, I honestly don’t care what your excuse is.”
“But don’t you see Clef? You know what’s under here, and you’re smart enough to know that we don’t have a single damn thing that can keep it here.”
“Maybe I do, so? What does this madness solve?”
“We can’t lock it with the chains anymore. But our termination attempt of 682 by 096 gave me an idea. What if two immortals were locked in here, both hostile to each other. They would continue to fight and keep themselves in check.”
“That’s insane, 682 might adapt to the point it becomes a greater threat than the world eater. You’re going to risk that!?”
“Well I am going to make sure that more take part. Including the one who gave me the idea.”
“No. You bastard what did you!?” SCP-166, though in pain, spoke up.
“Doctor…I saw that terrible things face. He showed it to me. What was that godless face?”
“With the blood of a half god, the final chain will easily break. Don’t you see Clef? Now SCP-682, 096, and 2317 will contain each other. The cost was worth working with the Insurgency and the death of one girl.”
Dr. Clef fell to his knees, he knew what was coming. And he knew he couldn’t stop it from happening.
***
“Bright, SCP-096 has just broken containment and is heading straight for 2317.”
“Dammit! One what do we do now? Clef can’t stop that thing from killing 166?”
“Im sure Thirteen was planning this long ago, I can only hope I’m right about, Clef.”
“Wait, Gears what is happening on Clef’s screen?”
“I don’t see…oh God. Bright, the hume level around Clef is changing, rapidly.”
***
Clef can only clench his fists as he stares at the ground helplessly.
“Doctor Clef, I suggest you leave now. The Foundation still needs people like you. You can’t stop this, nor should you. It is a sacrifice, nothing we aren’t used to. Nothing YOU aren’t used to.”
Clef raises his Rifle to fire at Thirteen but even though he has a clear shot, SCP-166 was behind him. He hesitates.
“Doctor Clef.” SCP-166 spoke up. “It’s okay. Maybe God’s plan is for me to keep the world safe this way. I believe in people like you with kind hearts, who will risk anything, to save another. And that’s why I’m okay with this. Thank you.”
Seeing the smile and tears on 166’s face, hearing her selfless pleas to martyr herself, and being acknowledged as someone with a “good heart” from her, was more than Clef could take. He could hear in his head the gunshot that took the life of 166’s mother, her pleas to take care of the child, and the smile she had when she said she loved his ‘kind heart.’
Something in Clef, burst. Like a block of ice shattering, melting, and becoming a rushing waterfall. Even as the screams of SCP-096 wail behind him, and soon pass him, A rush coursed through his body he hadn’t felt since he first met his beloved. And now, faced with his daughter’s death, he wouldn’t hold it back anymore.
***
“The hume levels continue to rise but SCP-096 is already there!”
“SCP-166…wait, where is she, Gears?”
O5-1 points to the camera.
“Clef isn’t there either. 096 is confused.”Bright just shakes his head.
“What the hell is going on!?”
***
(Its recommended for full meme immersion that you listen to DBS Ultra Instinct theme while reading this last part.)
SCP-096 saw his victim disappear as the claws nearly reached her, but neither it nor 05-13 saw 166 move. 096 turns to see Clef holding 166, her chains destroyed. 096 dashes in their direction. Clef puts 166 down on the ground and walks towards 096. In an instant Clef is behind 096, and it stops in its tracks. Suddenly its head twists around ten times, and its being pummeled by an invisible force until Its skeleton is dust. 096 is dead.
“That…that’s not possible!” O5-13 exclaims.
“As I tell them at the orientation: “kill the motherfucker before they even know you’re there.” Before the statement could fully register to 05-13, his vision suddenly turns upside down, but is still standing. Clef had moved behind Thirteen without a hitch and twisted his head upside down. Thirteen fell to his knees without even realizing what happened and died.
As if on cue, SCP-682 broke from it’s container. Scanning the area, then it’s eyes on Clef.
“Pathetic attempts to trap me. You are truly a testament to your kind’s foolishness. It disgusts me.”
682 charges Clef, never even paying attention to the sudden prismatic shimmer around Clef and the silver gleam around his hair.
“You’re the one that’s pathetic.” Chambering a fist, Clef unleashes a devastating punch to SCP-682’s head. There appears to be no effect, until 15 explosions went off inside 682 and a final one that erases the creature forever. 682 has been terminated.
***
The laboratory staff have stopped what they were doing as they glimpsed Clef destroy two of the most dangerous SCPs the foundation has ever known, with only his fist. The 05’s channel is an outburst of confusion. Bright could only share an amazed stare with his colleague, Gears. O5-1 just smiles at the screen.
“So you’ve finally done it Clef.” Bright turns to 05-1.
“What’s happening One?”
“Clef has a divine power granted to him by the care and love of the goddess. That’s why he is immune to the effects of many anomalies, why he is a reality anchor. Having found a true purpose to his life, that power has shown its true form of apotheosis. Clef has become the Ultra Anomaly.”
***
Clef had no time to celebrate, as it seems the power he used had disturbed 2317. An instant dash to 166 and then to the door, and Clef was able to let her out.
“Use my headset and call for help. Don’t let any men see you.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
“Now I’ve got a world to save.”
He closes the door, and the tremors grew worst. Eventually the ground cracks severely, and the dreaded SCP-2317 appears. Its mouthless head looking at Clef. Clef stands with a smug smile, before walking towards SCP-2317.
“There will be no XK today!” As Clef and SCP-2317 engage in combat. That is how Clef became the Ultra Anomaly. The Man, the Legend.
END
***
Love it? Hate it? I made it on a whim when I was watching Ultra Instinct Shaggy memes. I don’t expect this to be green lighted I just wanted to share something funny for anyone who wants to read. I wonder what Clef would feel about this. I’d like to do an equally ridiculous tale on Bright and Gears, just for fun! Anyway, thank you for reading! Hope it was good for a laugh. :D
