Per 
The House Across the River
Updated following advice.
Elevator Pitch: A house on the other side of a river. No matter what direction the house is approached from it is always on the other side of the river. Attempting to cross the river whilst insight of the house ends badly. There are creatures in the house. These creatures take on the appearance of people whom the viewer admirers. They seem to be enjoying themselves, like a group of celebrities/religious figures etc. on holiday together. Viewer not compelled to cross river but natural curiosity and ambition brings people to try and reach the house.
Central Narrative:
Anomaly discovered and quarantined. Limited initial tests, declared safe. (Focus of piece is not on anomaly itself but on the themes).
Article will take the form of journal entries and research logs written by research assistant. Central Question of significance. Who do you see? What does that say about the viewer. Various subjects with differing mental states and layers of achievement interviewed. Examples: The PHD sees their contemporaries. The guard see’s their parents, the narcist sees themselves. People don’t always see who they expect to. Who is it that they see and why? Self-reflection.
After several interviews the creatures approach guards. Interview with creatures. They were people once, how did they come to be here? Who do they see when they look across the river? Can they leave? If not why, if so, why not?
Final conclusion. Meeting between creatures and interviewees. Has they’re perception of each other changed throughout the logs. Perception of themselves? Assistant writing entry questions their own ambitions and ideals.
Hook/Attention-Grabber: Intended to be a meditation of measuring success by the achievements of others. The creatures appear as people of worth, success etc but they are not who they appear to be externally. They are trapped and suffering. Forced to present an image they do not embody and an ideal they cannot reach. They look outwards form house looking to escape.
Additional Notes: Possible Name “Never meet your heroes”. Interested in how to present plight of the creatures.
peppermint_legospeppermint_legos 15 Jun 2020, 19:35
Ah yes, comparison is the thief of joy.
I really like this concept! It feels generally unique and I'm glad that it's not a compulsion (just a natural curiosity). The "they look like people you admire" is fun, too, and ripe for some good pathos.
Of course people really go for "narrative" SCPs these days so I think we'd want a little more detail on how the article will unfold. Are you planning on having exploration logs, interviews, etc.? Those would be good places to show the mechanism for this SCP and demonstrate how it works, what's creepy about it, and why we should care.
I can't give you greenlights but I can give you encouragement! I see a lot of potential for this one, but my main caution would be to not get carried away — we probably don't need loads of different addenda, logs, and interviews. Less is more, so when you're drafting it try to ask yourself "what's the minimum amount of extra documentation I'll need to get my story told?"
barredowlbarredowl 16 Jun 2020, 15:17
I'm generally intrigued with the concept you've got going here, and very much like the themes you're wanting to explore. That being said, there are a couple things I want to bring up which I'd like to see you consider before I'd be comfortable giving this the go-ahead for drafting.
First off, in regards the anomaly, I can't help but feel like it's a little… blunt. It feels like a relatively straightforward, obvious interpretation of the main theme here (that being, measuring success on the achievement of others), and doesn't seem like it could sustain the article very well on its own. This, fortunately, really isn't a glaring concern for me, given that you're aiming to develop a lot more than the base anomaly here (such as with the interview log exploring the creatures' points of view). However, I would still like you to keep this in mind, as if this narrative becomes more reliant on the anomaly itself and not the character interactions you're planning here, this could come up as a problem. Really, for this I would suggest to focus on your main theme and sorta try to branch away from the actual anomaly and get to the heart of the theme here. That way, the fairly basic anomaly won't matter as much.
Secondly, narrative-wise and more glaring of a concern, there are several parts in the narrative which I think could either be reworked or removed, as some of its parts are a little extraneous for me. For instance, for this relatively emotional piece you're going for, I don't really see the function of a lot of the middle portion; namely, the initial log and the people being recovered dead. I think you should consider how you would either frame this in the general context of the theme you're aiming for, or remove it if you don't think it could suit your narrative. Something which might be helpfully explored in this middle portion is, say, the nuanced emotions people can feel when confronted with this situation. I wouldn't say to outright put an interview log; maybe putting something else which could express these emotions would be helpful. Either way, I think you should consider how this middle portion plays into the theme, and what unique role the middle portion could serve in delivering it.
Overall, you've got a very good outline for a good, emotional article, and I very much like the angle you're wanting to explore here, especially with looking at how the people involved in these situations are affected. To summarize, before greenlighting this, I would like to suggest the following going forward with this:
Distance your narrative from the anomaly. Compared to the very strong narrative you're planning here, the anomaly is relatively weak. Instead of delving into the anomaly itself, try thinking in terms of the themes you're setting down here; properly explore the themes of measuring success by the achievements of others rather than the actual SCP object here.
Focus on more heavily incorporating the narrative's middle portion. Right now, the middle portion of your narrative doesn't really have a lot of relevance to the story or its theming, or at least evidently. Consider how this middle portion could serve to reinforce the narrative you're going here, whether by exploring the victim's side of "meeting your heroes" or some other event.
In addition, I'd also like you to consider some other, minor structural things with the narrative, such as the conclusion, which I feel could need some elaboration; namely, how you're planning to sum up this article in a satisfying way while also keeping yourself true to the themes of the piece at hand.
Anyway, I think that's all from me for now. If you want to, denote your thoughts in a reply to this post and PM me over Wikidot or IRC to take a look at your response. Hopefully by then you'll have thought of how you can sort these concerns out. Best of luck!
