SCP-AH-64-J

Item #: SCP-AH-64-J

Object Class: Apache

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-AH-64-J is to be kept on standby at Airforce Site-2¹ and only to be reactivated in case of any of the following K-Class Scenarios caused by GoI-068.² so that it can be used to destroy members of GoI-068, also known as Feminists and Libtards.

•IK-CLASS: The creation of an unstable paradox with no harmful byproducts resulting from its existence and/or collapse.

•L-JK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 causes species transmutation or significant genetic alterations to less than 0.00001% of the population.

•L-KK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 causes species transmutation or significant genetic alterations to up to 50%, but more than 0.001% of the population.

•L-LK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 causes species transmutation or significant genetic alterations to more than 50%, but less than 100% of the population.

•L-MK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 causes the species transmutation or significant genetic alterations to 100% of the population.

•L-NK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 gains control over less than 50% of the population.

•L-OK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 gains control over more than 50%, but less than 100% of the population.

•L-PK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 gains control over 100% of the population.

•L-QK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 causes the breakdown of a minor societal construct, with no more than one million individuals effected.

•L-RK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 causes the breakdown of a major societal structure, with more than one million individuals effected.

•L-SK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 causes the breakdown of an essential societal structure, with the entire population effected.

•L-TK-CLASS: Incident in which GoI-068 causes the breakdown of all societal structures/the complete collapse of civilization.

Should SCP-AH-64-J be reactivated it is to travel alongside MTF Unit Alpha-0 (Gang Weeders), to the site of the GoI-068 event. After the event has been delt with SCP-AH-64-J is to be recontained and brought back to Airforce Site-2.³

Description: SCP-AH-64-J is an Apache AH-64 Attack helicopter often used by the US Military. This specific helicopter is sentient and sapient and claims to have once been a human but now sexually identifies as an attack helicopter, and somehow thus becoming one. SCP-AH-64-J has admitted that he hates his new body and wants to go back to normal, however the foundation does not currently have the technolodgy to help SCP-AH-64-J. Ever since he was a little boy, he always wanted to be an Apache attack helicopter, the Feminists told him that he could be that, and that it was totally normal, and now that it is one he regrets his life choices. Now he swears revenge against the Feminists.

SCP-AH-64-J hates them damn Feminists and has agreed to be contained under the conditions that he could help the foundation with destroying Feminists.

05 Council Vote: To use SCP-AH-64-J to destroy members and victims of GoI-068.
Result: Vote passed (9-1-3)

SCP-AH-64-J is equiped not only with its standard attack helicopter gear but also anti-bullshit missiles and biological fact rounds that pierce the mind of the Feminists while their bodies are being destroyed. Every since he was a little boy he always wanted to be an Apache attack helicopter and now that it is one he regrets his life choices.

Addendum: Test Log

Test 1: SCP-AH-64-J put in an Aircraft hanger with 1 D-Class personnel (D- 4201)

Result: SCP-AH-64-J starting asking questions about D-4201's sexuality and gender, D-4201 answered that they were Pansexual and Non-Binary. SCP-AH-64-J proceded to nut on them and then completely [REDACTED] destroy D-4201 with homing missiles.
Test 2: A normal D-Class personnel was put inside of the Aircraft hanger a few minutes later.
Result: D-Class and SCP-AH-64-J had a nice chat about "Libtards" and other stupid stuff relating to the internet. D-Class was uneffected by SCP-AH-64-J and released from the hanger.
Test 3: Dr.█████, a gay dude, goes into the aircraft hanger.
Result: SCP-AH-64-J immedietly went into an attack mode.
SCP-AH-64-J: I sense the gay within u faggot
Dr.█████: Yes I am gay
SCP-AH-64-J: Are you with them?⁴
Dr.█████: If you are talking about the SJW's, then no.
SCP-AH-64-J: Alright then get outta here before I fuck you up big time.
Dr.█████ Exits the containment chamber.
End of Test Log

+ GoI-068 Incidents

• The first time SCP-AH-64-J was used against GoI-068 was on the 3/17/2014 when SCP-AH-64 went onto a TF2 server and destroyed Feminists over the internet. How this was possible is currently being researched but he accomplished his mission well.
• SCP-AH-64-J was used again on the ██/██/2018 when Feminists in Australia tried introducing a "Safe Schools" Program which led to SCP-AH-64-J being dispacted to Australia where it "rekt some Feminist scrubs."
• The Final time SCP-AH-64-J was used was when tons of stupid Feminist teens tried to change their genders. SCP-AH-64-J was dispatched and used stun missiles⁵ to subdue these teenagers, who were put in Foundation custody and rehabilitated. The cause of this change was GoI-068's influence of them and convincing them that they weren't in their right bodies. Research is undergoing to figure out how they are doing this.

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Author Note: I am not homophobic, transphobic or racist or ANY of that shit, it's called a joke, that's what the -J is for. I have nothing against the LGBT community but stuff like the Safe School Program are stupid and telling teenagers and little kids about genders are stuff is just wrong.

Footnotes

1. Genders

2. Social Justice Warriors

3. Genders

4. GoI-068

5. Yes they are a thing now