Per 
Info
SCP-4699: Sextually Transimmited Disease
Author Page: http://www.scp-wiki.net/a-wild-alces-alces-is-plugging
Critters: Captain Kirby,KindlyTurtleRock does not match any existing user name, Dr. Aers does not match any existing user name
Honestly, this began as a shitpost on VC with my friends and then evolved into whatever the heck this is.
Item #: SCP-4699
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: A campaign encouraging the use of a Foundation-made prophylactic software amongst members of GoI-004C1 has been disseminated. Foundation personnel have infiltrated the Three Portlands Sexual Health Clinic and are to report any instances of SCP-XXXX to the anomaly's research team in Site-64. Samples of SCP-XXXX are currently stored in USB's and are available to personnel with XXXX-2 clearance.
Description: SCP-4699 is a digitally transmitted pathogen that exclusively affects members of GOI-004C possessing ocular and genital enhancements. Symptoms manifest in the form of a shock to the genital regions2 and incessant pop-up advertisements on the subject's ocular display. Advertisements are typically pornographic in nature and will often depict performance-enhancing drugs, genital augmentations, and illicit dating sites.
Advanced cases of SCP-XXXX cause irritation on the skin near augment locations and will overheat components, causing hardware malfunctions. SCP-XXXX can be treated with the application of anti-virus software and defragmentation. The Foundation has developed prophylactic software to counteract SCP-XXXX, as well as spy on members of GoI-004c. It has been successfully implemented into GoI-004c communities as a cure to SCP-XXXX and is readily available at Three Portlands health centers.
Addendum: On 12/20/18 the first Foundation-recorded instance of SCP-4699 had appeared on two Maxwellians following the exchange of sexually explicit content.
meme
