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WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILE IS LEVEL 3/XXXX CLASSIFIED
ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THIS FILE WITHOUT LEVEL 3/XXXX AUTHORIZATION WILL BE LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO IMMEDIATE DISCIPLINARY ACTION.
The real tragedy of the poor is the poverty of their aspirations.
Adam Smith, Scottish economist and philosopher. Artist unknown.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is kept in a standard containment cell at Site-73. At the beginning of each financial quarter, junior researcher Oscar Garcia is to ritually skin himself1 and fold the skin on top of SCP-XXXX, after which a layer of American dollar bills should be plastered to his subcutaneous tissue. All exchanges on the New York Stock Exchange should be monitored closely for any abnormalities during the ritual.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a bronze bust of Scottish economist and philosopher Adam Smith, approximately 1.2m in diameter and weighing 870kg. On the base of SCP-XXXX is plaque, with text reading "All money is a matter of belief." Though initially thought to have been sculpted in the 18th Century, carbon dating on the bust has determined it to have been created circa 300AD.2
SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects manifest at approximately the beginning of each financial quarter - known as SCP-XXXX's Active Phase - with anomalous properties manifesting principally through an entity classified as SCP-XXXX-1. While SCP-XXXX-1 does not exist physically within the Prime Dimension, it is intrinsically linked to SCP-XXXX's physical location; due to this, SCP-XXXX-1 interacts with the Prime Dimension through human hosts, chosen by proximity to SCP-XXXX.
The anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX during its Active Phase, when unhindered, have been linked to a multitude of financial crises in the 20th Century, including the Chilean crisis of 1982, the Swedish Banking Crisis of 1991-1992, and the Wall Street Crash and Great Depression of 1929. How SCP-XXXX manipulates these financial crises, and how SCP-XXXX-1 is involved, is currently unknown. Further financial crises have been somewhat alleviated through the use of Protocol Kirkcaldy-7 at the start of each financial quarter, involving the current host of SCP-XXXX-1.3
Since September 200█, the Foundation has managed to secure the host of SCP-XXXX-1 as Junior Researcher Oscar Garcia.
Addendum.XXXX.1: Discovery and Origin of Current Containment
SCP-XXXX was first discovered by the Foundation in a museum in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 1979, after reports that its anomalous properties had caused economic and political instability in the United Kingdom, known colloquially as the Winter of Discontent. It was discovered that SCP-XXXX-1 had manifested in a museum janitor known as E████ A███. Documentation at the museum was also uncovered linking SCP-XXXX to a variety of different economic crises, as well as depictions of a crude form of Protocol Kirkcaldy-7, which the Foundation performed on E████ A███, resulting in peaceful resolution and end to the economic crisis in the United Kingdom.
In 19██, SCP-XXXX was transferred to Site-73, where it is currently contained. A variety of different hosts have been occupied by SCP-XXXX-1 since initial containment began, with varying effects.4 Since 200█, Junior Researcher Oscar Garcia has been stationed at Site-73 to serve as host for SCP-XXXX-1 every financial quarter. Junior Researcher Garcia has not been made aware of his predominant responsibilities at Site-73 - as it seems that SCP-XXXX-1 takes over Garcia's consciousness for the duration of the Active Phase - and Foundation researchers with over Level 3/XXXX Clearance are ordered to keep the true nature of SCP-XXXX secret from Garcia.
NOTICE FROM THE DIRECTOR OF SITE-73
Hi all. Just wanted to let you know that I do hear your concerns, and I do understand that what we're doing can be troubling. If anything happening pertaining to SCP-XXXX and Junior Researcher Garcia is affecting you in any way, please remember that we do have an on-site counselling service, or you can always request a transfer to another SCP site.
However, on that note: we need to remind you of why we're doing this. The Foundation is cold, not cruel. Remember that Dr. Montauk's writings aren't those of a sadistic old man, but rather a set of procedures to aid in what we do. What's happening with Protocol Kirkcaldy-7 is much the same.
We can't let what happened in 2008 happen again.
— Site Director May McCahill, Site-73
Addendum.XXXX.2: Description of Protocol Kirkcaldy-7
The following is an excerpt from A Treatise on the Containment of Economic Crises Surrounding the Effects of SCP-XXXX (1989), written by former Foundation researcher Connor Kirkcaldy:
The entire impetus of Protocol Kirkcaldy-7 rests on the proper implementation of the procedures that myself - and my team of researchers in the fields of psychology, thaumaturgy and anomalous body modification - have devised, in order to stop any impending market crashes that may result from SCP-XXXX's interference.
Prior to the procedure, we must determine the nationality of the subject. This is incredibly important, as failure to discern the correct nationality may result in SCP-XXXX's effects occurring elsewhere (see the Chilean crisis of 1982). Once the nationality has been ascertained, we must incur as much of that country's particular currency as possible. This is integral to the procedure, and bills will be more useful than coins, due to their wide surface area. An American subject, for example, would be an optimal fit, as the smallest valued bill in the currency of the United States is one dollar (approximately £0.63), with American bills also being easy to obtain.
The procedure itself may be performed in any physical setting, so long as SCP-XXXX is physically present along with the subject. The procedure itself is best carried out by multiple personnel, all trained to at least Level III in Suggestion. Unlike in most scenarios, anomalous techniques of Suggestion are encouraged in this particular procedure.
In order for the procedure to fully alleviate SCP-XXXX's effects, the manner in which the subject skins himself is to be as slow as possible. This is so that the pain inflicted during this process "wakes" the subject up enough to minimise the impact of SCP-XXXX-1 on his consciousness. The optimal scenario during Protocol Kirkcaldy-7 would be that the pain inflicted on the subject is maximised at the point where the last of the skin on his torso has been removed. Following this, it is advised that the acquired currency is not affixed to the subject until the skin has been folded neatly onto SCP-XXXX. The manner in which it is folded may also have an affect, with SCP-XXXX-1 perhaps seeing it as a mark of "respect" of sorts; however, this statement is just speculation at this point, and further research must be conducted on my end. The affixation of currency to the exposed flesh of the subject must also be self-imposed. Indeed, following the procedure, the subject recovers abnormally quickly, with the skin having grown back almost completely over the subcutaneous currency by the two-week mark.
From my research, I can deduce that the symbolic nature of this act in the eyes of SCP-XXXX-1 would be seen as an affirmation of the corporeality of the "Invisible Hand" of the free market. Perhaps that is what this entire procedure is, and why it is so vitally important to the survival of the economy. SCP-XXXX-1 is an incorporeal entity that personifies the beliefs of Adam Smith and his Invisible Hand, and our show of faith in the neoliberal system is symbolised through the work of Protocol Kirkcaldy-7.
Our God is a vengeful one, and if we do not show our respect, he shall strike us down with all his might.
