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Item #: SCP-4318

Object Class: Euclid


D-6488, stroking SCP-4318 in its "Safe" state.

Threat Level: Yellow

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4318 is to be contained in a standard animal containment cell at site-27, and are to be given standard feline amenities. SCP-4318's containment cell are to also have three Maine Coon breed domestic cats1 to accompany SCP-4318. No personnel are to enter SCP-4318's containment cell at all times except for testing and must be agreed by one(1) Level Three personnel or above. All persons affected by SCP-4318's memetic property, are to be administered Class-A amnesics upon gaining consciousness.

Description: SCP-4318 appears to be a male cream-colored Maine Coon breed domestic cat wearing a red cat-sized2 fedora along with a black bow-tie of the same size. On SCP-4318's neck is a brass pendant with a copper plaque attached to it, with words engraved on the front saying: "Now…" and on the back: "There is only regret".3

SCP-4318 has a memetic property in which any sentient being that touches its fur will be instantaneously be sent into REM sleep4. The period of sleep caused by SCP-4318 is much shorter than normal induced sleep, with only a length of five hours. Upon waking up, affected subjects will report of having two dreams. 75% of the subjects report of having a dream about them sitting on a chair inside a brown room with no doors, surrounded by 20-30 Maine Coon breed domestic cats along with SCP-4318 laid on their lap. While 25% percent of the subjects affected will report of having dreams about their loved ones, usually moments before their death. The dreams are usually about their loved ones dying of sickness, murder, accidents, or a memory of the last time meeting them. Subjects with this type of the effect will usually cry upon waking up5 and are rendered unable to talk to anyone for 33 seconds. A study shows that subjects are more likely to experience this effect if the subject:

  • Has a criminal record.
  • Was separated from their family/significant other by an accident.
  • Has a deceased family member that was very close to the subject in his/her lifetime

SCP-4318 will sometimes take off its fedora and bow-tie, an event designated as a Hairball event. This is where its memetic properties will cease to function for some time and undergo the following transformation:

  • 0:33: Will morph from a Maine Coon to a Shorthair. A process that takes around 9-12 seconds.
  • 1:36: The material of its pendant will change from brass and copper, to titanium and bronze. A process that takes around 20 seconds
  • 2:01: The engravings on its pendant will change to "but hey…" and "let's make the world smile, like we used to do." This process instantaneously occurs.
  • 2:46: SCP-4318 will develop a new memetic property, in which any sentient being that comes into contact with SCP-4318 will report of having improved moods, despite no rise of serotonin6 levels in their body7. This is the final stage of SCP-4318's "Safe" state, And will last for 48 hours prior to transformation

Should a Hairball event occur, all cognitohazard effects of at least 2 SCPs are to be tested on SCP-4318. All testing and protocols regarding the Hairball event are to be agreed by at least two(2) personnel posessing Level Three(3) clearance.

Addendum 4318-1: SCP-4318 was found in a jail at ███████, █████ after multiple reports of inmates crying next to "a fancy cat". the Foundation was contacted shortly after and dispatched MTF Iota-30("Touch No Evil") to said location. Containment was fairly swift, with only one victim of SCP-4318's meme being Agent ███████. Agents of this Task Force also gathered information that SCP-4318 once had an owner, but presumably died of cancer in the year 20██. It is also known that SCP-4318's anomalous properties did not manifest until its owner's death8.