aroncrime

SCP-6048

Threat Level: White
Item #: SCP-6048
Object Class: NeutralisedSafe/Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-6048 is to be kept in a locked box made of stainless steel at all times. It should never leave the box, and the box MUST have one (1) window on each side (except the bottom). In the event of a containment breach by SCPs 682, 173, 096 and/or any other Keter/Euclid class SCPs more than 2 (two) feasibly dangerous SCPs (This does include SCP-999- if it managed to get even a miniscule amount of itself into the mains water supply, it could cause mass death) then two (2) Class-D personnel are to carry the box to the where the SCP is. They should remain carrying the box in case it is needed somewhere else. It is also Site-19's policy to NEVER tread on ANY tarantulas, due to the small but momentous risk of it being SCP-6048.
Description:
SCP-6048 holds the appearance of a Theraphosidae, better known as a tarantula. It had no observed anomalous properties until the last large-scale containment breach, however it was retrieved by the Foundation after a large-scale argument started online about someone supposedly carrying a bug and "being invulnerable to harm" This person, as well as all involved in the argument, were given Class-A amnesics, and the thread on which the argument occured removed. However, in the containment breach on ████████, it was observed to nullify all harm done to any homo sapiens, more commonly known as humans, in a five (5) meter radius. This caused its re-classification from Neutralised, to Safe/Thaumiel.
Addendum:
If SCP-6048's box is broken and/or it somehow escapes containment, ten (10) Class-D personnel should be picked out (NONE may have arachnophobia, an allergy to spiders or otherwise a hatred of spiders) to find it and recontain it. If/when they do, they should shout over a supplied radio "Spider has been retaken."

SCP-083-J

Item #: SCP-083-J	Level 3/083-J
Object Class: Euclid	Classified

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A roll of toilet paper, after being cut by SCP-083-J.

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Special Containment Procedures: SCP-083-J is to be kept in a glass case at all times. Level 3 security clearance is to be kept in a locked box with the blade facing up at all times. It should never be rotated, as if SCP-083-J fell down with the blade facing down it would convert out earth into cake. The box must have a small glass window on each side. Each day, one (1) D-class personnel is to lick the box. If they report that it tastes at all similar to any kind of cake, they must discard the box (preferably by eating it) and replace it.

Description: SCP-083-J holds the exact same appearance as a regular kitchen knife. It was retrieved after images of realistic objects being cut, revealing that they were cake, took the internet by storm. The Foundation distributed amnestic treatment to all owners of a computer that had ever displayed such an image. As of yet, SCP-083-J's origin is unknown.

Addendum 083-J-1: On 29/██/202█, Dr. █████, who at the time had level 4 security clearance opened the box of SCP-083-J and started brandishing it, wildly cutting every D-class, facility guard and any other personnel they found. She was immediately demoted to Class-D upon apprehension. She was screaming, "Everything is cake!!! It's all a lie!!! Don't believe that anybody is real!!! Not even yourself!!!" This is obviously not true, and any attempt to prove that this is true by using SCP-083-J is strictly prohibited.