Per 
Object Name: ASDA Brand Crisps
Object Number: # SCP-5001
Object Class: Keter
Description:
SCP-5001 was found on XX/6/19XX. It was found laying next to a dead body in a forest located in XXXXX, England. SCP-5001 appears to be a standard bag of crisps that one could buy from an ASDA store. However, SCP-5001 appears to have some level of consciousness. It seems to be able to communicate with people telepathically (See Audio Log SCP-5001-1 for more details). When someone approaches SCP-5001 and tries to open it without its permission, it will emit a highly concentrated beam of gamma radiation at the person in question. This usually results in instant or near instant death to the victim. If SCP-5001 does manage to be opened, after emitting the gamma ray, it will eventually close itself back up. How exactly it does this is, as of yet, unknown. How exactly SCP-5001 is able to emit these gamma radiation beams is also unknown.
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-5001 is to be kept in a 2 metre by 2 metre by 2 metre glass box in site X. SCP-5001 is not to be taken out of this box under any circumstances. The box is to guarded around the clock by two guards. These guards are to be equipped with XXXX rifles and are to be ordered to immediately open fire on and neutralise any and all people that attempt to open the box and set SCP-5001 free.
Audio Log SCP-5001-1
Foreword: Around the time of SCP-5001’s initial containment, theories started to emerge that SCP-5001 could be able to communicate with humans via telepathy. Dr. X was instructed to investigate these theories by conducting an interview with SCP-5001.
<Begin Log>
Dr. X: Hello? SCP-5001, if you can communicate with me, please do so.
(No response)
Dr. X: SCP-5001. I will ask you once again, if you can communicate with me, please do so.
(No response)
Dr. X: Bloody hell. I talking to a bag of crisps! No wonder it can’t communicate with me! I knew this was a waste if ti—
Note – At this point in the interview, Dr. X was just about to shut down the recording equipment until he heard a voice.
SCP-5001: Yes?
Dr X: (Startled) Wh—What was that?
SCP-5001: You asked me to communicate with you, did you not?
Dr. X: (Quietly) Oh my god. The rumours are true.
SCP-5001: Well? What do you want?
Dr. X: There have been rumours going around the facility that you could communicate with humans. We just wanted to see if it were true or not.
SCP-5001: Fair enough. You have your answer now, I assume. So, can you leave me be now?
Dr. X: As you wish. Thank you for your cooperation.
SCP-5001: Yeah. Whatever.
<End Log>
