Awehsohs

Wine for Insects (SCP)

Wine for Insects

SCP-XXXX in a marble wine cellar.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe¹ Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be held in a metal cabinet at Site 19, due to fear of SCP-XXXX-1 damaging or tunnelling into cracks in the wood of any ordinary cabinet. No Class A personnel should be allowed to open the cabinet holding SCP-XXXX for fear of potentially dangerous insects. Insecticide is to be sprayed in the area around SCP-XXXX daily.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a single bottle of very fine Martell brand cognac, originally discovered in an insect infested wine bar in France. The bottle of cognac appears to be everlasting, yet aged well for at least four years. Even with the amount of SCP-XXXX-1 that have lived around the bottle since it's discovery, the bottle appears to be undamaged.

SCP-XXXX exhibits mind-affecting properties which affects all insects in a ten mile radius, and SCP-XXXX-1 are insects effected by the artifact². Insects within this area avidly fight over SCP-XXXX, and haven't shown any signs of stopping. All instances of SCP-XXXX-1 exhibit the artifact's inability to age, and are only able to be killed through disease and physical harm. None of the aforementioned affects any other kind of animal.

The species of insects seen around SCP-XXXX depend on the area. From an optimistic view this could prove useful to the foundation as a way to capture anomalous insects, But due to the harmful properties of SCP-XXXX, giving it the Thaumiel class will not be proposed.

Subjects are advised to refrain from coming in tactile and gustatory contact with SCP-XXXX, as either will result in all instances of SCP-XXXX-1 defensively swarming and biting at the subject until death. Due to varying and increasing kinds of SCP-XXXX-1, effects caused by them are may vary, too. To name a few, malaria, dysaesthesia, cognitive impairment and insanity are effects and diseases that have been recorded.

If SCP-XXXX is drank, the subject acts in a way that represents SCP-XXXX-1 and gains the artifact's inability to age, though SCP-XXXX-1 will still attack the subject as stated before. Subjects who have drank SCP-XXXX are to be designated the name SCP-XXXX-2. Any form of SCP-XXXX-2 are to be quarantined and interviewed for a better understanding of SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects.

+ Interview XXXX-2-01

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-2, previously known as D-█████

Interviewer: Dr █████ Marlowe.

Foreword: D-█████ was apprehended after found acting abnormally in containment on ██/██/████. Supposedly, D-█████ had somehow managed to smuggle in some cognac that he didn't know was anomalous. Insecticide was sprayed outside the interview room shortly before the interview began.

<Begin Log>

Doctor Marlowe: For the record, are you able to speak?

SCP-XXXX-2: Yes. May I ask, why was I brought here?

DM: <Mumbles quietly while writing notes> Step #1 was a success. <Begins talking smoothly again> Oh, just to talk. By the way, are you willing to talk?

XXXX-2: It depends on what we're talking about.

DM: As with most things. In any case, do you feel anything towards a certain bottle of brandy?

XXXX-2: So this is why you asked me if I were willing to talk. I'm afraid I cannot say anything about my nectar.

DM: Alright, do you remember anything before ██/██/████?

XXXX-2: Finally tasting the nectar I've always yearned for was something I did on that day, and it was all that I had expected.

DM: Alright, so what do you usually do other than protect your 'Nectar'? Also, why do you protect your nectar?

XXXX-2 The latter should be obvious, because it's mine.

DM: Okay… but what about the first question?

XXXX-2 Is there really anything other than my nectar that truly exists?

DM:<Buzzing and scurrying insects are heard outside the interview room's door, they slowly creep inside through a crack.> Well, I guess that's all we can manage right now, SCP-XXXX-2.

XXXX-2 <Screams in pain> You puny insects will never take my nectar from me again!

<End Log>

Closing Statement: SCP-XXXX-2 was sprayed with insecticide and given amnestics for future interviews shortly afterwards.

Notes If those insects could speak, would they call SCP-XXXX their nectar, too?

+ Interview XXXX-2-02

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-2.

Interviewer: Dr █████ Marlowe.

Foreword: Two Class-C personnel were placed outside of the interview room in protective suits, and ordered to reapply insecticide regularly.

<Begin Log>

Doctor Marlowe: This is your first time being interviewed, no?

SCP-XXXX-2: I believe so.

DM: Good, so can you tell me about your oh so great nectar?

XXXX-2: <Begins talking triumphantly> Hmph, well if you insist.

DM: Great! In that case, why are you so fond of your nectar?

XXXX-2: It's a gift from the gods, one sip and I'm overflowing with power and joy!

DM: What about it is so great?

SCP-XXXX-2: Well, one would be the gift of eternal youth, the other being the gift of true joy. The only downside is my swarms of competition, but don't they realise it's mine?

DM: What makes you so sure that this cognac is truly yours?

XXXX-2 Shouldn't that be obvious? It's my reward for all of my hard work! I doubt that any puny insect would work as hard as me.

DM: Well… is there anything else you know about SCP-XXXX?

XXXX-2 Oh, it pains me that you've designated my nectar with such an ordinary name. Yes, but why should I tell you more?

DM: If you do, we'll do our best to remove all insects from the area around SCP-XXXX for you.

XXXX-2 That would seem like an interesting deal, if it were possible.

DM: Why isn't it possible?

XXXX-2: It's simple, my competitors are just as persistent as I am. If there were a way to permanently remove them, I would've done everything in my power to.

DM: In any case, I have two more thing to ask you; What powers did you gain when you first drank SCP-XXXX, and do you think your behaviour has changed in any way?

XXXX-2: First of all, why should I tell you what I gained? It's addictive, that thing. Also, the only thing that changed in my personality when I drank SCP-XXXX was a quickly developing love for it.

DM: I see. Well that's all I need to know. This will be your last interview on this subject.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: SCP-XXXX-2 was monitored for the rest of the month and given a sip of SCP-XXXX, what we saw during that time was euphoria. SCP-XXXX-2 was terminated at ██/██/████, when his designated time at the foundation had ended.

Discovery: SCP-XXXX was found in a wine bar named [REDACTED] in the central-eastern part of France's Charente-Maritime district. The wine bar was found overrun with insects, which was a cause for concern. Agent ████ █████ was sent to investigate [REDACTED] on 20/4/2012, and came back with SCP-XXXX in a small towel, it's anomalous effects were found shortly after Former Security Officer ████ ████ unknowingly tried to drink from SCP-XXXX. Former Security Officer ████ ████ is now deceased.

Coat of Arms (SCP)

Coat of Arms

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-XXXX is a square pillar in the centre of an unnamed keep above the south pacific ocean. Inscribed on the pillar is a wall of text with a sigil in the centre. The text tells of a royal family being protected from certain unknown entities and evils.

The keep has not identified as any other that has existed so far.

Wondertainment and the Woeful Whippersnapper (Tale)

Wondertainment and the Woeful Whippersnapper

---

A homeless boy roosted on the street,
He said to himself; "this is quite a suite!"
Even with such luxury, the boy felt lonely.
Surely having someone with him would make his corner a little more homely.

The boy searched over here and over there, over the hill and under the stairs,
But alas, no one was there for him, not even the bears!
But there's always hope, and for it, there's no need to grope.
And this young boy's hope lied in a certain dope.

There appeared a magical man on a magical pony,
It was obvious he was no phony.
A certain, magical man has been lifted from his slumber,
To help this poor boy find wonders of any number!

His stylish mane was bountiful, his steed's; a little less.
His stylish tophat was unforgettable, he was amazingly dressed!
It had to be, it couldn't have not, it was the great Wondertainment,
The wonderful Dr Wilbert William Windsor Wondertainment!

Dr Wondertainment voices to the child;
Like a hinkypunk and its follower, you must follow a beast that is wild.
A tyke wanders these streets, just like you do!
Think of him as my gift to you.

The boy thanked Dr Wondertainment as he flew into space.
Before long, the boy found a shaggy dog walking at a slow pace,
It was glowing a warm glow and its hair was flowing a beautiful flow.
The boy followed suit, he thought this is what Wondertainment meant, and he had to know.

Like a hinkypunk and its follower, like a leader and its followers.
He knew if he wanted a friend, he would follow her.
The dog turned around; they were facing each other,
They thought they were similar, one another.

The dog jumped happily up to the boy,
The boy thought to himself, this moment is one to enjoy.
It was a luxury for him, to have a friend.
A luxury he could hardly comprehend.

The boy and the dog headed back to their corner,
It definitely did make his corner a little warmer.
And there was only one person he owed for this blessing
The great Dr Wondertainment and his wonderful life lesson.

---

This Poem was read out by Researcher Alexander Bass, who was assigned to record previous findings of Dr. Wondertainment as audio files. After reading that out he proceeded to report multiple events and discoveries, which went as followed:

"That was a poem made by that Wondertainment person. The poem is named 'Wondertainment and the Woeful Whippersnapper.' Starring a shaggy dog, a homeless boy and Dr Wondertainment himself. It was posted on multiple video sharing websites as a 2-minute long animated film. The videos were taken down by us in an effort to keep their production and selling levels low.

We are unsure if this was made as a ploy for a company, or was made as a ploy for an individual; a different kind of ploy. This poem did show Wondertainment as a person, but for all we know that could've simply been their mascot, or a fake person, or another bearer of that Wondertainment moniker… bah.

Whether or not this Wilbert person is or isn't the real Wondertainment, I believe that this information has gotten us one step closer to figuring out what this whole Wonder-filled mess is."

With a cut sigh, Bass ended his speech and stopped recording. The recording was then sent to administration in order to be looked over and catalogued.

Bass thought to himself, "It's obvious, this Wondertainment fellow doesn't exist. But who am I to know? In a world full of monsters, rips in spacetime and anomalies, why can't there exist a magical man that brings you your utmost wonder." Bass wanted to believe, and he would. There was still some wonder in him, and the existence of the mighty and wonderful Dr Wondertainment brought it out!

The shaggy dog in this amazing poem was a symbol of Wondertainment's creations and the wonder they bring. And the fact that the poor and glum boy still had his wonder intact had let the wonderful Wondertainment bring the two together with a bedazzling adhesive called love!

Children, believe in Wondertainment. There'll be a Shih Tzu waiting for you.

Wowie

yes

Footnotes

1. SCP-XXXX was quickly converted into a Keter class SCP after Dr █████ █████ found out that it is very hard to contain every insect in a ten kilometre radius.

2. If any instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are found, they are to either be terminated or brought back for research.