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Fucking Murder Media Circus

Item #: XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: The former campus of Louise Rodgers High School has been bought and sectioned off by Foundation personnel. No access other than for testing purposes is to be allowed into the building. Attempts to gather further information about POI-XXXX are ongoing prohibited.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a hostile humanoid entity currently residing in the former campus of Louise Rodgers High School (SCP-XXXX-1) in Bloomsbury, Washington. SCP-XXXX is strongly believed to have previously been ███████ ██████████ (POI-XXXX), a former student at Louise Rodgers High School. SCP-XXXX resembles POI-XXXX, and is wearing a brown trench coat and holding a 9 mm Hi-Point 995 carbine. Upon sighting any subjects within SCP-XXXX-1, SCP-XXXX will approach them and attempt to terminate entities with its carbine, which has been noted to have apparently unlimited ammo. However, SCP-XXXX has been unilaterally unsuccessful in injuring any of its targets, and has frequently injured itself instead: see Addendum SCP-XXXX-A for a list of SCP-XXXX incidents. Furthermore, SCP-XXXX is subject to a mild cognitohazardous effect, whereby subjects targeted by SCP-XXXX typically treat SCP-XXXX with disinterest and scorn.

Discovery: SCP-XXXX was discovered approximately seven days after manifestation, when POI-XXXX's parents reported POI-XXXX as not having returned from school; police investigation revealed the existence of SCP-XXXX, after which the Foundation was contacted. Upon investigation of POI-XXXX's former residencec, the Foundation discovered a written document, ammunition, and multiple pictures of some of POI-XXXX's classmates; however, clerical staff shredded the written document apparently due to an unrecognized cognitohazardous effect. Notably, all staff and personnel involved in handling this document described it as "laughable fucking trash" and "a real waste of fucking time, if you fucking ask me".

Addendum XXXX-A: The following is a list of incidents involving SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX Test	Reaction by SCP-XXXX	Notes
D-107456 is sent into SCP-XXXX-1 with a bulletproof vest and tranquilizer gun and is asked to attempt to communicate with SCP-XXXX.	Upon sighting D-107456, SCP-XXXX charged towards D-107456 while raising its carbine; however, a banana peel manifests in the hallway containing SCP-XXXX, causing it to slip and fall. SCP-XXXX does not move afterwards.	A noise resembling a slide-whistle was audible while SCP-XXXX slipped. No apparent source can be identified within the video.
D-175874 is sent into SCP-XXXX-1 with an video recorder and a bulletproof vest and asked to attempt to communicate with SCP-XXXX.	Upon sighting D-175874, SCP-XXXX attempts to shoot at D-175874; however, a humanoid entity resembling a clown (SCP-XXXX-a) appears next to SCP-XXXX and shoves what appears to be a pie in its face. This entity continues shoving more and more pies in SCP-XXXX's face until D-175874 is told to leave SCP-XXXX-1.	SCP-XXXX did not attempt to run towards D-175874, suggesting that it can remember previous incidents. SCP-XXXX-a strongly resembles Fox News anchor Tucker Carlson.

Urysohn-Eilenberg

Item #: ** XXXX
Object Class:** Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawler I/O MAC LANE is to monitor all electronically published mathematics journals and notify Foundation personnel upon finding an instance of SCP-XXXX. Any SCP-XXXX-1 instances are to be administered Class-A amnestics and released from containment.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a memetic cognitohazard only affecting individuals with training in mathematics and exposure to academia. SCP-XXXX's anomalous effect manifests in infected individuals (SCP-XXXX-1) as belief in the existence of a mathematical treatise by mathematicians Amalie Urysohn and Ken Eilenberg.¹. The exact name of this treatise typically depends on the subfield of mathematical study of the SCP-XXXX-1 and the context of reference; however, it is usually referred to as Urysohn-Eilenberg as a shorthand. Newly infected SCP-XXXX-1 instances will refer to Urysohn-Eilenberg at first for proofs of relatively minor facts that they do not wish to prove themselves; however, as the length of time of infection grows, they will begin to refer to Urysohn-Eilenberg for less trivial proofs, and eventually for completely nonmathematical statements. See Addendum for further details.
Addendum: The following are assorted cases of SCP-XXXX infection.

SCP-XXXX-1 instance: Dr. Alexandria Rostislav

Instance: Dr. Rostislav referred to Urysohn-Eilenberg for proof of the fact that the
cohomological graded algebra of the Rostislav n-manifold was trivial past degree n-5;
however, the construction of the Rostislav n-manifold in her previous papers clearly belies
this. When asked to justify this discrepancy at the 2009 ICM², Dr. Rostislav attempted to clarify her logic for an additional 20
minutes, before beginning to loudly sing the theme song to the 1959 television program
Bonanza in Russian for a further 10 minutes and immediately leaving the stage when her
alloted time expired. Of note is that Dr. Rostislav's results could have easily
been proven without reference to the erroneous detail.

SCP-XXXX-1 instance: Dr. Simon Caterwaulis

Instance: Dr. Caterwaulis attempted to steal

Pine Apple

Item #: ** XXXX
Object Class:** Hard to Contain
How we keep it contained: If somebody sees an instance of SCP-XXXX, MTF Rho-12 "Weird Fruit Thing" will go make all the people around there forget about it, then they will destroy the instance because there are so many. Some instances are kept in a locker in Site-29 but you have to be Level 2 or better to get them.
Description: SCP-XXXX is when the word "█████████" is used to describe BOSFs³ (see image) in written stuff before around 2050. Usually it appears on plaques or in science papers or in recipes sometimes, but sometimes it appears in other places (see attached note). When people see SCP-XXXX they get headaches and get woozy. 1 in a 100 times their brains start bleeding inside but most of the time that's it.
Discovery: SCP-XXXX was first reported on April 12, 2050, when some people in grocery stores and restaurants everywhere were getting dizzy. Later we found out it was SCP-XXXX. Below is a written-down version of a 911 call somebody made about SCP-XXXX.

Foreword: The 911 call was made from Bloomsbury, Pennsylvania around 4:30 pm, caller unknown (calling them

<Begin Log, ██:██:██>

Dr. █████: Hello, D-61749. How are you feeling?

D-61749: Actually, I wanted to know about this cataract thing. You're going to get rid of it, right? After all the tests and stuff?

Dr. █████: Of course we will D-61749. We're currently doing everything in our power to cure your condition. Are you able to see SCP-XXXX-2 in more detail this time?

D-61749: Yeah, sure. Let me just, uh, concentrate, I guess.

(D-61749 closes her left eye and concentrates.)

D-61749: Alright, uh…it's a city. I think. The buildings look…thin?

Dr. █████: Could you clarify?

D-61749: They don't look like they're very real. They look like…like they're made of cardboard, or something. I…I can't really describe them otherwise, for some reason.

Dr. █████: I see. Do you see anything else?

D-61749: Uh, yeah. The sun is made of golden fire and burning smoke, and the skies are
umber and bronzed.

(D-61749 appears unaware of any unusual behavior on her part.)

D-61749: There's a person roaming the street. Tall and elegant, but with a smirk on their face. (shakes head confusedly) Looks like, uh, Charlie? Charlie Goldman.⁴ What are they doing there? Haven't seen them since…two weeks ago, or something. Weren't they —

Dr. █████: Please focus on the topic at hand, D-61749. Do you see anybody else?

D-61749: Uh…no, Doctor. Other than Charlie and the thronging faceless mass of unwashed plebeians, I can't see anybody else.

Dr. █████: Could you describe this crowd, please?

D-61749: Um…there isn't a crowd, Doctor. Just Charlie.

Dr. █████: D-61749, you just claimed there was such a crowd.

D-61749: No…no I didn't, doctor. Doctor, what's going on? I don't-

Dr. █████: Fogginess is a common side effect of the medication you're on, D-61749.⁵ You needn't worry. Could you describe D-71235's behavior? Do they appear agitated, or confused?

D-61749: To the casual layman's eye they might be, but Charlie Goldman,
better known as Horne Whitehood⁶, was the single most cruelly dastardous being in the Groblands.

(D-61749 appears disconcerted. Her feet have started to dissolve.)

D-61749: I, uh, didn't mean to say that, Dr. █████. I can't really make out their expression, but they don't really look like they're walking anywhere in particular.

Dr. █████: That's fine, D-61749. What else do you see?

(D-61749 pauses for 2 seconds. She appears concerned. At this point, her entire lower body has dissolved, though D-61749 appears not to have noticed this.)

D-61749: (distressed) Doctor, I can't see it anymore. That was… that was all there is.

Dr. █████: What do you mean?

D-61749: I can't say anymore. He didn't write enough.

Dr. █████: Do you mean Mr. Helkin? Please clarify, D-61749.

D-61749: (unresponsive) He didn't write enough, there isn't anymore. The city's empty and it needs words.
Dr. █████: D-61749, please -

D-61749: But I can't see so I can't give. It aches. It wants more. It's so cold.

(At this point, D-61749's head has dissolved entirely, leaving only her eyes.)

D-61749: He's cold.

D-61749 fully dissolves and stops vocalizing. Interview terminated.

<End Log, ██:██:██>

Closing Statement: Further attempts with D-class personnel to obtain a description of SCP-XXXX-2 have yielded similar results.

Footnotes

1. No mathematicians with these names have been found to exist; however, Pavel Urysohn, Samuel Eilenberg, and Amalie Noether are well-known mathematicians. Pavel Urysohn and Samuel Eilenberg are not known to have directly collaborated mathematically.

2. International Congress

of Mathematicians.

3. Big Orange Spiky Fruits.

4. Charlie Goldman was the real name of D-71235, who had disappeared after a previous test with SCP-XXXX. This was the first known instance of former SCP-XXXX-1 infectees appearing in SCP-XXXX-2.

5. D-61749 had been given sugar pills as a placebo for SCP-XXXX-1 after showing significant distress and failure to communicate.

6. A recurring character from the Hart's Horne series.

7. This was dated for the day before Mr. Helkin's death.

8. Charlie Goldman was the real name of D-71235, who had disappeared after a previous test with SCP-XXXX. This was the first known instance of former SCP-XXXX-1 infectees appearing in SCP-XXXX-2.

9. D-61749 had been given sugar pills as a placebo for SCP-XXXX-1 after showing significant distress and failure to communicate.

10. A recurring character from the Hart's Horne series.

Proberta, Town of Mountains and Beauty

Item #: XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Given the prominence and the relatively minor effects of SCP-XXXX, containment of SCP-XXXX is limited to suppression of the knowledge of SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects. After a the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX are to be given Class A amnestics and released into the general population.

Description:

The Best Fanfiction

Item #: XXXX

Object Class: Safe Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX has been fenced off from the public under the guise of a localized chemical spill, and is guarded by security personnel. Any trespassers onto SCP-XXXX are to be interrogated and then dosed with Class-A amnestics. D-Class personnel brought into SCP-XXXX must first listen to audiobooks of Hart's Horne series, as this has proven to be the quickest form of introduction to the series. Any increase in the size of SCP-XXXX is to be immediately reported to the research supervisor for SCP-XXXX, who is currently Dr. Wilbury.

Description: SCP-XXXX is the former retirement home "Fletcher Woods Home" in ███████, CA the former city of ███████, CA. Upon entering SCP-XXXX, subjects develop an anomalous disorder, referred to for the rest of this document as SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX-1 only affects the right eye, and physically leaves it unchanged; however, subjects progressively lose their ability to see through it. Subjects typically achieve full blindness in their right eye in 1-2 weeks.

Approximately one day after reaching this stage, subjects are able to dimly see vague outlines of structures through their right eye, designated SCP-XXXX-2. Coordination typically deteriorates much faster than before at this point, though this is believed to be a nonanomalous side effect of receiving different stimuli to both the left and right eyes. As SCP-XXXX-1 develops, the vision of SCP-XXXX-2 becomes clearer and more detailed, revealing a bird's eye view of some kind of city (for a full description, see Document SCP-XXXX-a). SCP-XXXX-1 ceases to progress after approximately one month, although its effects are permanent.

If subjects have previously read or listened to the Hart's Horne series by whatever means, an additional cognitohazardous effect becomes apparent after the conclusion of SCP-XXXX-1's progression. Subjects will become obsessed with SCP-XXXX-2, remarking on its apparent beauty. They will then proceed to write fanfiction set in SCP-XXXX-2 involving the main characters of the Hart's Horne series. These works are extremely long, and while they often have varied beginnings, eventually follow the same narrative; the antagonists of the series, who had been killed in the final book, is resurrected and attempts to establish a stronghold in SCP-XXXX-2, before being thwarted by the protagonists (who are the protagonists of the previous series, as well as a character identified as "Phil", typically introduced midway through the fanfiction). Subjects are unable to complete the fanfiction

Discovery: SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties were discovered after reports of simultaneous cataracts developing among the patients and staff of the then active retirement community. From interviews and inference from the rate of growth of SCP-XXXX-1, SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties appear to have begun shortly after the death of Mr. Holloway Helkin (born Henry Williamson), who had gone into cardiac arrest. Mr. Helkin was a late patient of SCP-XXXX and a well-known author who wrote the popular but critically reviled Hart's Horne series of fantasy novels. Mr. Helkin was suffering from a cataract in his right eye upon his death and had just started on a new installation of the series, Freezing Sun, after a long hiatus. Mr. Helkin's draft of Freezing Sun was accidentally destroyed some time after his death by custodial staff; however, Foundation personnel were able to recover Mr. Helkin's journal. Pertinent entries are below.

Entries from Mr. Helkin's Journal

Entry from ██/██/██

My grandson Phil visited today. It's been months since I've last seen him, but I don't blame him. He's a busy kid; working at Yankee Stadium as an intern! Damned if I'm going to support the Yanks over the Red Sox, but what can I say? I'm proud of him. Just wish I could get a better look at him. This damn eye's still blind as ever and my money's run out again […] No surgery for me.

He said he's been reading that fucking series of mine. Says he enjoys it too! I didn't think he went in for that kind of writing. He seemed genuinely excited; been a long time since somebody said they liked my books. Been a long time since I liked my books.
He said that he wished that the series was longer. Gave me a couple of ideas; one of them was kind of interesting. The sun for the solar system would start freezing 'cause someone was stealing the energy away. I kinda like it. More importantly, I love my grandson.

Entry from ██/██/██
Phil called me again! It's only been a couple of days but he wanted to know what I thought of his idea, with the planets colliding. Apparently I didn't seem that enthusiastic about it last time. I told him I was thinking about it. Funnily enough, I actually am. Think I might start working on it.

Entry from ██/██/██

Started writing Phil's book today. Agent was not happy when I told her; said that the series was done, and I couldn't work 'cause of my eye. Said I should just stay retired. Would have agreed with her before now, but I'm actually looking forward to finishing this. God, I've got so many ideas for this book. I can almost see it in my head.

Entry from ██/██/██⁷
I gave up after half a page. That was how far I got when I realized that it sounded exactly like every single other book in the series. Goddamn it, my grandson deserves more than that. This needs to be better than all of them. I'm still thinking of ideas, but I know that it still needs to open with that street scene. I'll figure it out tomorrow.

Interviews with Mr. Helkin's grandson Phil Bouchart (POI-XXXX) have corroborated many of the details given in Mr. Helkin's journal. POI-XXXX was amnestized and has shown no evidence of further anomalous activity. Investigation into Mr. Helkin and the Hart's Horne series is currently ongoing.

Addendum XXXX-a: Below is the interview log of D-61749, who had 95% of her right eye's lens covered by SCP-XXXX-1 at the time of the interview.

Interviewed: D-61749

Interviewer: Dr. █████

Foreword: Before this interview, there had been several attempts to get details from D-61749 about SCP-XXXX-2, which had failed given the relative lack of progression of SCP-XXXX-1. This was the final attempt.

<Begin Log, ██:██:██>

Dr. █████: Hello, D-61749. How are you feeling?

D-61749: Actually, I wanted to know about this cataract thing. You're going to get rid of it, right? After all the tests and stuff?

Dr. █████: Of course we will D-61749. We're currently doing everything in our power to cure your condition. Are you able to see SCP-XXXX-2 in more detail this time?

D-61749: Yeah, sure. Let me just, uh, concentrate, I guess.

(D-61749 closes her left eye and concentrates.)

D-61749: Alright, uh…it's a city. I think. The buildings look…thin?

Dr. █████: Could you clarify?

D-61749: They don't look like they're very real. They look like…like they're made of cardboard, or something. I…I can't really describe them otherwise, for some reason.

Dr. █████: I see. Do you see anything else?

D-61749: Uh, yeah. The sun is made of golden fire and burning smoke, and the skies are
umber and bronzed.

(D-61749 appears unaware of any unusual behavior on her part.)

D-61749: There's a person roaming the street. Tall and elegant, but with a smirk on their face. (shakes head confusedly) Looks like, uh, Charlie? Charlie Goldman.⁸ What are they doing there? Haven't seen them since…two weeks ago, or something. Weren't they —

Dr. █████: Please focus on the topic at hand, D-61749. Do you see anybody else?

D-61749: Uh…no, Doctor. Other than Charlie and the thronging faceless mass of unwashed plebeians, I can't see anybody else.

Dr. █████: Could you describe this crowd, please?

D-61749: Um…there isn't a crowd, Doctor. Just Charlie.

Dr. █████: D-61749, you just claimed there was such a crowd.

D-61749: No…no I didn't, doctor. Doctor, what's going on? I don't-

Dr. █████: Fogginess is a common side effect of the medication you're on, D-61749.⁹ You needn't worry. Could you describe D-71235's behavior? Do they appear agitated, or confused?

D-61749: To the casual layman's eye they might be, but Charlie Goldman,
better known as Horne Whitehood¹⁰, was the single most cruelly dastardous being in the Groblands.

(D-61749 appears disconcerted. Her feet have started to dissolve.)

D-61749: I, uh, didn't mean to say that, Dr. █████. I can't really make out their expression, but they don't really look like they're walking anywhere in particular.

Dr. █████: That's fine, D-61749. What else do you see?

(D-61749 pauses for 2 seconds. She appears concerned. At this point, her entire lower body has dissolved, though D-61749 appears not to have noticed this.)

D-61749: (distressed) Doctor, I can't see it anymore. That was… that was all there is.

Dr. █████: What do you mean?

D-61749: I can't say anymore. He didn't write enough.

Dr. █████: Do you mean Mr. Helkin? Please clarify, D-61749.

D-61749: (unresponsive) He didn't write enough, there isn't anymore. The city's empty and it needs words.
Dr. █████: D-61749, please -

D-61749: But I can't see so I can't give. It aches. It wants more. It's so cold.

(At this point, D-61749's head has dissolved entirely, leaving only her eyes.)

D-61749: He's cold.

D-61749 fully dissolves and stops vocalizing. Interview terminated.

<End Log, ██:██:██>

Closing Statement: Further attempts with D-class personnel to obtain a description of SCP-XXXX-2 have yielded similar results.

[[footnoteblock]]

Anomalous Infohazard Warning

NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION

The documentation for SCP-XXXX has been permanently deleted from SCiPnet given the nature of SCP-XXXX. The various cognitohazards and infohazards have proven to be too dangerous to allow online access. To access the documentation for SCP-XXXX, please contact Nadia Dunbar, the RAISA employee assigned to SCP-XXXX.

— Maria Jones, Director, RAISA