Per 
- SCP-XXXX
- Anomalous Item Retrieval
- The Big Day
- SCP-XXXX Luck of the Draw
- SCP-XXXX Well Water
- Draw three cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.
My name is David Ward. I have been an agent of the Foundation for 4 years now. Even having done this for as long as I have, I still felt a pit in my stomach as I drove up to the address listed. I grabbed everything I needed and stepped out of my car. The school was dark and seemed almost abandoned. Even though I must have rehearsed the plan in my head a thousand times I could only pray that I remembered how to do everything correctly. I walked up to the front of the building, my heart filling with a sense of dread. I was not looking forward to what would come after I opened that door.
"Hi! I'm from Secure Continental Packages and I have a package for one Mrs. Stern."
"Oh hello! I was told to expect you. Oh, and uh, pardon the lights, we had a blackout today. Mrs. Stern should still be in her room waiting for you. It's room 175, down the hall and a bit to the left."
"Alright, thank you. I'll just head there now."
The directions the secretary had given me weren't very good but it didn't matter as I had already memorized how to get to the room last week. I walked as quickly as I could making sure to keep my head down so I wouldn't get my face caught on camera. Not that it really mattered since we took out the power a couple of hours ago specifically to avoid that issue, but my superiors liked it when I was careful.
I knocked on the door and let myself in.
"A package for Mrs. Stern." I said.
"Ah yes! this should be the new laptop I ordered. My old one just seemed to stop working last week and it has been difficult getting my work done without it."
"Alright, here you go." I said I handed her the box. "I'll just need you to sign here and I'll be on my way."
As she grabbed my clipboard I quickly glanced around the room for the object I was tasked to retrieve and found it sitting up front just where I was told it would be. A single red pen in a cup of pencils on a small shelf at the front of the classrom. I brought my attention back to her as she finished signing her name.
"Alright thank you. I'll just be on my way then."
As I was leaving I quietly pocketed the pen and replaced it with a decoy one I had prepared earlier. She probably wouldn't even have noticed it missing, but it never hurts to play it safe. I swiftly walked back outside and quickly got into my truck. Taking a moment to breathe, I took out the stolen pen and inspected it a bit closer. It looked like an ordinary pen but supposedly it was slightly magnetic.
The only reason we even knew about it was because some kid had posted on social media about this "weird pen" they had found in class and the Foundation, not wanting to let even the smallest anomaly be public knowledge, assigned me to get it. It had taken my team weeks to set up a retrieval mission that the bureaucrats would approve of and it would probably take a couple of days of testing after that to determine if the magnetic properties were even anomalous begin with before the thing was stuffed into some box and stored away forever.
When I agreed to be an agent of the Foundation I was told I would be doing important work protecting humanity but it's mostly been a protracted series of mundane tasks. Last week I spent two hours dumpster diving behind a fast food restaurant, before that it was looking through the toy section of some musty old thrift store, and here I am now stealing pens from a middle school. As I slowly drove away I quietly wondered to myself, "Is it even worth it?"
D-2542. It didn't matter what my name was before, that is my name now. I don't know exactly how long I've been here, but that doesn't really matter because I'm never getting out. I'm going to die here. I have accepted that fact but it doesn't make things any less difficult.
What was really getting to me was the loneliness. Sure I've been sharing this cell with five other D-class for weeks now, but none of us really want to get to know each other. We like each other well enough sure, but friends can be a bit of a downer when you know that at any moment one of you could be called for testing and never come back.
These people are the closest thing I have to companionship but none of them know anything about me. It's not like anyone really cared much about me before I ended up here but everything always seems especially hopeless here. Do I really want to just quietly disappear one day and never be thought of again? I should at least try to make a friend before I'm gone. Talk to people, get at least a little happiness in my life before I fade away. I look around the cell for something to talk about and see the calender on the wall. In all my moping I didn't even realize what day it was today.
"You know, I think today is March 27th." I say.
"What's special about March 27th" one of the other D-class retort.
Before I can answer there's a loud knocking on the door.
"Alright line up! All of you have been called for testing."
We all get out of our cots and form a line. The guards open the door and lead us down a long hallway. None of us try to escape, we've all accepted our fates at this point and we realize that this is probably the end for all of us. I take a little comfort in knowing that in my final hours, I tried to do something on my own. That comfort would do me little good now but it was all I had. We all knew that this would probably be the last that anyone heard of us.
The guards stop outside of an unmarked room.
"Alright." They say "Get into SCP-1367's chamber for testing."
As we step into the room none of us know what to expect. We hear the door close behind us and take a look around. We were surprised to see what looked like the set up to a party. There were banners on the walls and balloons on the ceiling. The tables full of the most delicious looking food I had seen in weeks. On one side of the room I saw what looked to be a fully stocked bar, on the other I saw piles of wrapped gifts.
We barely had time to take it all in before a voice came on the speaker.
"Today is D-2452's birthday. Today's test requires that you throw him a birthday party."
An example of the front and back of SCP-XXXX instances
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-XXXX are to be kept in a waterproof container which is to be kept in a standard containment storage locker.
Each instance of SCP-XXXX is to be placed in a water-resistant card sleeve and kept in a secure combination locked case separate from other SCP-XXXX instances. Cases containing SCP-XXXX instances are to be kept in a secure storage room.
Foundation personnel are to attempt to confirm the existence of, and track down and contain the two additional instances of SCP-XXXX believed to currently be outside of containment.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a set of 52 Eastern Highland brand playing cards. The cards are the size of standard poker cards1. The back sides of the cards all appear to have a white border surrounding a black pattern. The front sides of the cards appear to be the fronts of random cards of varying types (see experiment logs for complete list of discovered card types). When these cards are shuffled together the fronts of the cards appear to display an entirely new set of cards. This occurs whenever any number of these cards are shuffled together in numbers as low as two. Mixing other types of cards, including cards of the same brand, does not modify this effect and extra cards added do not change or display other anomalous properties. Even with extra non-anomalous cards, at least two instances of SCP-XXXX must be shuffled together in order for the effect to take place.
The anomalous properties of the cards become apparent when the front sides of SCP-XXXX instances are viewed. The front sides appear as the fronts of any type of card that is a similar size. The cards remain in this state indefinitely but can be changed by shuffling them together.
Addendum 1: Experiment Logs.
- Playing Cards
- Multiple brands have been observed in the testing of SCP-XXXX
- Trading Cards
- Sports Cards
- Credit Cards
- Credit cards with chips have been shown to function while other types have not.
- Business Cards
- Index Cards
- ID Cards
- Greeting Cards
- All Greeting cards observed have been the size of a playing card.
- Penalty Cards
- Access Cards
- Cards from Board Games
- Gift Cards
- Gift cards have shown to be non-functional
- Rewards Cards
- Library Cards
- Cardboard
- Tarot Cards
- Flash Cards
- Tart Cards
- Place Cards
Note: All cards observed have been in good condition.
Addendum 2: During testing researchers discovered that a Foundation access key card manifested among the card fronts. Testing indicated that the key card functioned as normal. Due to the potential threat that a containment breach could present the containment procedures have been updated to improve security. A request to upgrade the object class to Euclid has been sent.
Request Denied. The new containment procedures should be adequate to prevent any threat that this item could pose. -Site Director Hammond
Addendum 2.0: While cleaning the storage facility D-Class personnel D-8397 managed to access the container for SCP-XXXX and cause a minor containment breach. Luckily D-8397 was terminated by on site security before he was able to cause too much damage. The containment procedures have been updated to prevent breaches like this in the future.
Addendum 3: Additional Research has shown that this brand of cards contain 54 in a set. Two cards from this set are currently not accounted for. It is unknown whether the final two cards exist and if they display similar anomalous properties to the rest of the set. Confirming the existence of these two additional cards and retrieving them is considered a high priority task. Another request has been sent to upgrade the object class to Euclid for as long as it exists outside of containment.
Addendum 3.0: Additional research has shown that this brand of cards come with 54 cards. We only have 52 cards n containment which means that 2 cards are potentially unaccounted for. The location of these two cards, presumably originally the jokers of the set, and whether or not they display the same anomalous properties as the rest of the cards is unknown. It is considered to be a high priority task to confirm the existence of these cards and retrieve them if possible.
EDITOR'S NOTE - TO-DO LIST:
- "The cards are the size of standard poker cards[footnote]", necessary?
- Keep for now
- Point of article to show how foundation can get paranoid over little things, Make that more obvious!
- Fix formatting for entire article
- Box for Logs
- Spacing for addendums
- Paragraphing for description
- Go more in depth in experiment logs
- Make description of cards more in depth
- Why wouldn't addendums 2 and 3 be something that Foundation didn't know already? Add details.
- Last two addendum try and make two separate points and don't flow nicely, Remove one?
- Make story so D-class testing cards cause minor containment breach which means containment
procedures get updated. The next addendum notes that two cards aren't accounted for. Foundation worries about containment procedures??
- Rewrite containment procedures
- Remember an indecent hasn't happened, Foundation just going in depth to prevent one
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: All remaining samples of SCP-XXXX are to be kept in secure water storage.
Foundation agents are to remain around the original site to monitor for more hidden containers and watch for new manifestations.
Description: SCP-XXXX is water that makes people feel good but is highly addictive. While Foundation chemical analysis has not found significant chemical difference between SCP-XXXX and normal water, not enough of a sample is there to be able to know for sure.
Addendum: Due to the remote nature of the town affected by SCP-XXXX, not much is known about the outbreak. All Foundation accounts come from this journal found on location. The journal has been edited for brevity.
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Boring Day to day stuff, Blah Blah Blah
Dave is digging a new well
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(Few weeks later)
Dave finished the well and the water is really good. I feel refreshed and renewed!
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(Months later)
The well is starting to run dry. Dave is trying to dig it a bit deeper. I hope that this is just a temporary setback.
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(Weeks later)
It finally happened, the well ran out. I have my collection of the water like everyone else, but I don't know how long it will last.
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(2 weeks later)
I heard gunshots coming from a neighbors house. They must be raiding each others houses for more water. I'll have to hide mine.
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Maps detailing the surrounding area. Several locations of interest are marked but no key is provided. The map appears to be unfinished.
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- An advertisement that follows people around
- How does it follow?
- Internet ad
- How is it contained?
- >Find out how internet advertising Works<
- Globally block IPs?
- How does it work?
- Does it read minds?
- Leave ambiguous
- Do people see it differently?
- No
- Determined by "person meant for"
- Does it read minds?
- Why does it exist?
- High end group (MC&D?) trying to make money?
- Rogue AI?
- Leave ambiguous?
- Ghost of a marketer?
- How does it follow?
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