Ballin for the Lord

Item #: SCP-5027

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: All Foundation personnel who have witnessed SCP-5027 are to report this instance to their superior. All locations where SCP-5027 has previously appeared, especially Site-██, must always have one agent stationed there at all times.

Description: SCP-5027 is a male humanoid who regularly manifests outside of several Foundation sites' loading bays when there is at least one foundation personnel present. It has always been observed wearing a button down shirt, khakis, loafers, and a gold rolex on its left wrist. While manifested, it repeatedly tries to sell an unknown range of products including watches, scuba gear, and exotic pets to all Foundation personnel present. SCP-5027 was first discovered April 1st, 200█ where it startled Agent ████.

Addendum 5027.1
Audio Log I-5027

Date: 03/03/0█

Participant: Agent ████

Subject: SCP-5027
[SCP-5027 manifests in loading bay of Site-██ behind Agent ████]
█:Shit! Who the fuck are you?
[Agent ████ raised gun and pointed it at SCP-5027]
SCP-5027: Hello there valued customer! Would you like to buy some-
[Agent ████ tried to restrain SCP-5027 but SCP-5027 teleported instantly at contact]¹

Update: After this incident SCP-5027 has manifested several times outside of Foundation Sites. Since it has been proven all but impossible to contain and that it isn't harmful, all attempts at containing it have been indefinitely suspended.

Footnotes

1. After this incident Foundation sites were put on high alert