BaranXLR
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: THIS IS A PLACEHOLDER

Description: SCP-XXXX is a concrete room with extreme and anomalous spacetime curvature. Its real geometry is detailed in Document XXXX-1, but due to its anomalous properties it appears to have dimensions of 2x2x2 meters.

Just tryna

Name: Researcher Simonson
Date: 26/04/2019
Total items: Four copies of "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Steel Ball Run"

Input: A copy of JJBA: SBR.
Setting: Coarse
Output: A blue notebook with the words "I LIKE TO RIDE HORSE" scribbled on every page in a child's handwriting.

Input: A copy of JJBA: SBR.
Setting: 1:1
Output: A copy of JJBA: Phantom Blood. Subject was hardcover with the pages stuck together.

Input: A copy of JJBA: SBR.
Setting: Fine
Output: A copy of the U.S. constitution. Subject spins rapidly and uncontrollably around its spine. After some difficulty immobilizing the subject, subject was revealed to not contain the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment.

Note: That's… a little creepy. I hope this thing isn't plotting some kind of coup. -Researcher Simonson

Input: A copy of JJBA: SBR.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: An intricate wooden figurine of a mummified corpse with holes in each hand. When placed on a flat surface, subject turned to face east. Personnel who carried weapons were repelled by the subject.


Name: Researcher Simonson
Date:29/04/2019
Total items: One bag of sand (coarse grain) weighing 20 kg.

Note: You have no idea how much effort it took to not make the obvious joke. -Researcher Simonson

Input: Single grain of sand.
Setting: Very fine
Output: 1m cube of unknown, translucent material with extremely low density. Subject only weighed 2 milligrams, as much as the input item.

Input: Sand bag.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: Many large glass spheres strung on 20 meters of thin rope. Subject was completely unaffected by gravity.


Name: Researcher Simonson
Date:14/05/2019
Total items: A list of cardinal numbers up to 1000.

Input: List of numbers.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: The same list, except the numbers 4, 5, 53, 98, 125, 155, 446, 511, 521, 533, 620, 736, 801 and 874 have check marks next to them. The significance of these numbers is unknown.

Input: Copy of previous output.
Setting: 1:1
Output: A set of coordinates (██.████████, ██.████████) located just off the west coast of Turkey. Nothing of importance has been found at this location.

Input: Copy of previous output.
Setting: Very Fine
Output: An extremely complex diagram comprised of over fifty thousand tiny, intersecting polygons. The diagram appears to be Every vertex is labeled with a letter and a four-digit number. The measures of some angles and the lengths of some sides are given. The line segment |Y6438K0552| is labeled "x". Although analysis has shown there is enough information to solve for x, attempts to do so are still ongoing.


Name: Researcher Simonson
Date:15/05/2019
Total items: A glass of water (250 mL)

Input: Glass of water.
Setting: Fine
Output: Subject acquired an anomalous property that causes it to flip upside-down when held over electronics.

Note: It detected my phone through my [EXPLETIVE] pocket… -Researcher Simonson