Baronjoe MC and D
rating: 0+x

While MC&D article tone doesn't need to be clinical, it does need to be professional, and the majority of this isn't. Even the parts that aren't personal communications are filled with 'anyway' and 'also' and in general basic one-clause sentences (some of which aren't even grammatically correct sentences — this honestly just reads like no one proofread it) that definitely do not convey a business tone.

And I'm not saying characters can't have feuds with each other, but the he-fucked-my-wife shit came out of absolutely nowhere and did nothing for what little narrative there is here, to me. That random spin is what made me downvote honestly.

- Cyantreuse

I agree with the above points, but upvoting for potential. I think exploring the heads growing into walls would be a more interesting angle to explore, its not developed enough here. Replacing the infidelity angle with something more original would do a lot to give this piece more life. Maybe they destroyed his business in some unique way, perhaps owning some sort of safari park MC&D took over through underhanded tactics. That would connect thematically with the rifle. Looking forward to seeing this updated.

- Roget

GBY98/DC478/BY245
Status Sold In Reserve (See Incident Report)
Demand Medium
Value TBD at auction Not for Sale
Availability Unique
Identifier Old Hunting Rifle
Description A slightly worn but completely functional 1965 T-Bolt hunting rifle that has recently been polished. Wild life when shot by the item would have their heads be decapitated and spawn at the home of the shooter, mounted on the wall.
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Initial Report
Author George Masoli Date July 12, 1999
Interest Medium Identifier Old Hunting Rifle
The item was acquired from the home of the late Wilfred Pendleton, a former investor of Marshall, Carter and Dark Ltd. The item was listed in his will to be donated to our possession for auction.
File Opened Under: GBY98/DC478/BY245
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Memo 01
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Sender George Masoli Recipient Joshua Goldberg
This item will certainly find a buyer at auction. Quite a few of our regular patrons go out hunting and collect heads to mount on their wall.

I tested it out myself by going on an entire hunting trip with it a week ago, and it seems alright. I'll have the item sent to you as soon as possible. Be sure to have it ready for the August auction that is coming up.
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Auction Record 122
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Date August 1, 1999 Location London
Auctioneer Joshua Goldberg Lot 1 of 9
Listing Every great hunter needs a trusty rifle. With this item, mounting your trophy has never been easier. After shooting your target, the item immediately mounts the head instantly to your home. All without the tedious process and be able to stay on the hunt. The mounts are excellent quality and can be placed where ever if you think it be better on another wall. It is very convenient and is an ideal weapon for a great hunter.
Name Bid Comments
Patrick Jenkins 5,000 USD Independent Bidder
Georgie Longer 7,000 USD Independent Bidder
Patrick Jenkins 10,000 USD Independent Bidder
Charles Hardall 15,000 USD Hardall Bidder
Georgie Longer 17,000 USD Independent Bidder
Peter Cumberdale 20,000 USD Independent Bidder
Charles Hardall 20,500 USD Hardall Bidder
Peter Cumberdale 30,000 USD Winner of Auction
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Memo 02
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Sender Joshua Goldberg Recipient George Masoli
The rifle has been sold but I think there is something more to the item, George. The mounts we made from testing it are being reported as alive by some. They would breath or move and one even claimed it drooled while staring at him. They are also stuck into place on the wall too. You think we may have a problem?
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Memo 03
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Sender George Masoli Recipient Joshua Goldberg
I doubt it's anything serious. If it helps you feel better, I'll have the mounts examined but it won't be a priority. Have there been any complaints from Mr. Cumberdale? If not, I guess he is still enjoying his purchase. Everything is fine.
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Incident Report 01
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Author George Masoli Date August 16, 2000
The mounted heads produced by the item that became fixated onto the walls at the London warehouse became hostile.

It was discovered that within the walls the mounts was growing a humanoid body that was root-like in appearance. It was not noticeable due to the thickness of the walls. Then, they emerged from the walls and attacked a few staff. Only two deaths occurred, thankfully, for our stationed mercenaries managed to subdue and eliminate the entities.

At the home of Peter Cumberdale, the purchaser of the item, the same entities emerged. Luckily, Mr. Cumberdale was not home and he had enlisted our security services. Mr. Cumberdale was in Africa hunting, which lead to the creation of additional mounts for us to retrieve before establishing contact for him to stop using the item. The additional mounts were incinerated.

We retrieved the item and financially compensated Mr. Cumberdale for the damages. Anyway, now we know more of the item and must reconsider its value to recover our losses. I see the potential to sell it to the Chaos Insurgency for they have a history of making and taming creatures. Perhaps this will make it easier for them, for a price of course. Also, we could expect an increase in sales with our 'Beast Collars' in the process.

Anyway, it is also reported that other items from Wilfred Pendleton have been also problematic. The entire matter is being investigated.
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Memo 04
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Sender Joshua Goldberg Recipient George Masoli
So do you think Wilfred screwed us? That seems to be the talk around here. By the way, we also managed to retrieve a few of his items before anything got nasty.
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Memo 05
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Sender George Masoli Recipient Joshua Goldberg
Thank goodness. Also, that seems to be the conclusion but we can't think of why Wilfred would do this. Carter is looking into it for he knew Wilfred the best.
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Memo 06
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Sender Joshua Goldberg Recipient George Masoli
I think we found out why. The following letter, a copy out of many were which were sent to our facilities, came in through the mail on those services. You know the ones that have a timer and it does what it's supposed to do? Don't know the name but the letter is from Wilfred directed to Carter.

Attachment:

To Carter,

You fuck my wife, I fuck your business. I should of known you were never interested in being my friend, you fucking twit. I saw your not-so-well-hidden car parked around my house on Saturdays. Also, fuck you for I knew you were cheating on that golf game last Summer. Bastard.

Fuck you sincerely from beyond the grave,
Wilfred Pendleton
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Memo 07
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Sender George Masoli Recipient Joshua Goldberg
Oh for God's sake. Who else but Carter.
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Memo 08
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Sender Joshua Goldberg Recipient George Masoli
Yep, Dark was really pissed off when he heard about it for he knew Wilfred back apparently. Guess he was one reason why he became an investor of ours. Anyway, him and Carter were upstairs and it was a lot of yelling and next thing we knew he threw Carter out the fucking window, down to the loading area. Carter was okay, mostly, he handled worse. Interestingly, none of us here has ever seen Dark get angry before.

Anyway, I should let you know the rifle is being kept in reserve. When will you be contacting the Chaos Insurgency to see if they may be interested?
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD
Memo 09
GBY98/DC478/BY245
Sender George Masoli Recipient Joshua Goldberg
I'm already making some calls. Maybe in a few hours I'll be in contact with the Insurgency. We are packing up one of the bodies of the mounts to take with us to show them. I'm confident we'll make them very interested.

God, all Carter had to do was keep it in his pants and make my job easier.
Marshall, Carter and Dark, LTD