Baronjoe Tales

I walked down a rusted staircase that lead to a hallway that ended at a metal door with a small keyhole, which was illuminated by the flickering ceiling lights. It was quiet except for the sound of dripping water and the distant sounds of machines far upstairs. As my spindly limbs carried my grey frail body to the door, I searched with my three-clawed hands around my leather bag covered in stains of blood in search of my set of keys. I then found the key ring and shifted through them to find the correct one. Finally, I open the metal door into my dirty laboratory to find company.

In the far right corner of the lab in a large cage was a young nude man whose mouth was sewn shut, and he stiffened with fright as I sat my leather bag loudly on the operating table that sat in the center of the lab. I sniffed the air and caught wind of the man's scent. He smelled of Armenian. I stretch out one of the arms on my back to hit a set of light switches to see much better. The man then panicked as he gazed upon my fully illuminated body. I then went to the left of the room where a monitor hung on the wall along with an intercom and a chute. The chute had a letter in it which I grabbed to read.

Good evening, Dr. Hamgullet

Starting from today, you are no longer going to be working on further production of new products. Instead, management requests you help create a better work force. The weak flesh of men already have their limits and we want to achieve further than the maximum capacity. Currently, you have been provided with one test subject at the moment. Later today or tomorrow, we will have more subjects from the breeding pits for you.

Good luck for we here at The Factory want results as usual.

I crumbled the paper and tossed it into an empty bucket. I went to open my leather bag and pulled out my equipment to begin my tedious work. I go to the cage and grabbed the man as he cowered into a corner with tears streaming down his face. I lopped him onto the operating table and quickly tied the thick leather straps as I held him down. He tried to scream but that clearly caused him pain for it pulled his stitches and blood began to ooze a little. It made him cry more and start struggling so I smacked him on the side of the head which knocked him out. Finally, it was just silence and my craft.

I grab a set of long rusty scissors with one hand while another I held a drill. With elegance, I began drilling a hole into the front of the head of subject as I cut the stitches along with bits of his lips. Another hand reached for a long scalpel that I used to begin cutting open the chest. Once I completed the hole in the head, I picked up a pump which I connected to the hole and began pumping diesel. Next, I extracted the organs and placed them in a bucket which would be sent to the Meat Processing sector.

I went and grabbed a large box containing mechanical parts from a corner among other stacked boxes and brought it to the operating table. I picked up a small engine and analyzed it. A machine heart. Just what a sufficient worker needs…

Hours later, I had made crude replication of the human heart that nested in the chest cavity. I attached an antenna also onto the head through the hole so it may receive commands.

The first steps of progress.


We have received your prototype, Dr. Hamgullet. It is quite interesting but it is…lacking. What good is a machine heart without a machine mind to guide it? We want it to be mindless, yes, but not to the point where it cannot not perform orders sufficiently. Correct this.

You have four new subjects and a box of fresh material from the Crucible.

I scratched my head and looked at the cage to see the new subjects. One was a girl while the other three were boys. They huddled naked and sobbed quietly. I go the cage and grabbed one of the boys. He frantically tried to escape my grasp as I placed him on the table. I grabbed a saw and started to open his skull. I had work to do on the brain.

The boy kept screaming until I reached the brain. Next, I grabbed the sides and yanked the top of the skull off. I analyzed the then-exposed brain and gotten an idea. With my scalpel, I carved onto it an ancient symbol from a forgotten time that meant obedience, submissiveness, and elegance. Then, I placed it back into the head. To keep it in place, I placed a dirty glass dome over it that I glued. I turn the body over and slowly moved my claws along the spine. The brain stem needed improvement too and after a tedious hour, I lined it with tesla coils connected to a battery where the kidney was. An outlet was also drilled in the head to connect it to the spine also.

Yet something felt lacking still as I finished installing the machine heart. I looked at the cage girl and boys, staring at the opposite direction to a wall to avoid the sight of my creation. Once again, I went to them and grabbed another of the boys who desperately kicked at me. One arm of mine held him by the throat and carried him near the operating table. After a brief moment of thought, I grabbed a device heavily resembling a chainsaw and turned it on. The boy had a stream of tears flow down his red checks as he tried to kick after hearing the machine buzz and whir. I proceeded to cut off his arms and legs with the chainsaw as the boy and girl in the cage screamed in horror. My creation needed more limbs to accomplish greater tasks at once.

The blood dripped onto the floor as the life in the boy faded away. I snapped his neck and placed it besides the operating table on the floor. I took out my sowing kit and dug through the box of new materials. I found me some ball-and-socket joints with other pieces of metal. I began to modified the severed arms with the ball-and-socket joints to allow for various rotation and movement, and attached it to my creation along with the severed legs. It didn't felt enough so I turn once more to the two remaining subjects…


Good morning, Dr. Hamgullet.

The latest iteration you have delivered to us is astounding and sufficient. A marvelous improvement indeed.

Although, there is an issue concerning resource. It is too costly to attempt to mass produce this design and be a waste of too many human subjects just to make each. Less is more. Regardless, we have it working in Sub Level 12 of the China facility.

Also, you have received three new subjects. Good luck.

I look up to the cage to only see two males within. Where was the third?

I went to the wall the monitor was at and pressed a switch. The screen came to life in a green tinge and displayed the logo of The Factory. I pressed another button and checked the memo logs for anything recent of a possible runaway. Nope, nothing.

I shambled to the intercom and spoke into it to make a report of it to the Manager. Unintelligible garbles, which I understood, responded and assured me they would be found. As I waited, it was the time for me to work once again.

As before, I forged the machine heart and carved the symbols on the brain. For minutes, I stared off, pondering what do I do next. Finally, I had an idea.

I grabbed some ball-and-socket joints and modified the arms like I did previously. I then proceeded to pick up my saw and removed the hands to replace them with brass versions. They were also designed to be detachable to replace them in the event of damages that may occur or to switch them for a tool, such as a torch or drill. It was brilliant.

As I worked, a loud knock on the metal door disrupted my concentration. I went to answer it and was greeted by the Manager who held a small bruised and bloodied boy by the arm with a tendril. Behind them was two members of security that stood silently with cattle rods by their side. They appeared as any ordinary human except they had no face. It was plain and smooth but would open up to reveal a toothy maw if one tried to resist them. Nonetheless, they simply stood there silently as the Manager spoke to me.

The Manager informed me that he found the boy at the staff kitchen and that he apologizes for any damages to the boy. The Manager described him as "feisty" and needed discipline. The Manager then lets go of the boy and glides away with the two faceless members of security following behind. I grabbed the boy and dragged him to the others locked in the cage. Shame, I hate damaged goods but I could find some use perhaps.

Back to the operating table, I stared at my creation. I felt it was finally ready.


Good morning, Dr. Hamgullet.

We are quite satisfied with your latest iteration and request you provide instructions so we may begin mass production. For your efforts, you will receive an increase in pay.

The current working men of The Factory will become sufficient and profitable. Their old selves are obsolete.

Congratulations, Dr. Hamgullet.