Per 
- SCP-4119-ILLEGAL-J: "Mods Gay Haha"
- SCP-XXXX: "Updated Autopsy Report"
- SCP-XXXX: "At This Time Of Year"
- GOI-411 "M.M.M. Strawberries"
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| The best team, OC High Council. |
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Item#: SCP-4119-ILLEGAL-J
Object class: Yeeter
Special Containment Procedures: No individual with a self-proclaimed sexual identity other than homosexual is to be allowed administrative privileges over SCP-4119-ILLEGAL-J. All cases of “gnome children” are to be reported to child protective services cause they booties ain’t safe. Also, OC High Council is to be declared best team to stop the spread of gay, ligma, sucondese and updog.
Description: SCP-4119-ILLEGAL-J is the subreddit r/dankmemes. SCP-4119-ILLEGAL-J primarily serves as a hub for Internet subculture and meme images and appears non-anomalous to most users.
When an individual is given or otherwise obtains moderator privileges over SCP-4119-ILLEGAL-J, their sexual preferences will, over a period of 3-7 days, gradually shift to being homosexual. Administrators who are already homosexual do not undergo this initial stage. Even if they are not public about their sexuality, the preferences of an SCP-3265-ILLEGAL-J moderator will be subconscious knowledge to all SCP-3265-ILLEGAL-J users.
Gradually, SCP-4119-ILLEGAL-J administrators will become exclusively attracted to gnome children, a type of non-playable character found in the massively multiplayer online role-playing game Runescape. They will use their position to lure young children, upon which they will perform ear lengthening surgery and dress them up like gnomes and have sexual relations with them but only if they are he same gender because mods gay lmao.
Addendum 3265-ILLEGAL-J-1: Mods gay. Also OC High Council is best team. ~Dr. Bright
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Due to its anomalous properties, containment of SCP-XXXX is impossible. If SCP-XXXX initiates contact with a member of Foundation staff, they are to comply with all orders from SCP-XXXX to the best of their abilities and, if in doubt, contact Mobile Task Force Pi-23 "No, Money Down". SCP-XXXX manifestations that do not directly involve the Foundation are to be reported to MTF Pi-23, who are to track phone records and online data for signs of SCP-XXXX activity and prevent XXXX-Adrestia events where possible. In the event that routine protocols are unable to prevent an XXXX-Adrestia event, MTF-Pi-23 are to be sent to investigate, begin a cover up and administer Class A amnestics to any witnesses.
To prevent false XXXX-Adrestia reports, no gavels or other legal paraphernalia are to be stored on an open shelf more than 1.68 metres above ground at any Foundation facility. A document on how to contact MTF-Pi-23 is to be given out to new Foundation employees, containing images and fonts associated with SCP-XXXX and written under the false pretence that SCP-XXXX is a group of interest of high level threat.
Description: SCP-XXXX manifests as a law firm specialising in civil cases. It is currently unknown whether SCP-XXXX is an individual or organisation, or whether SCP-XXXX has any corporeal form, but it invariably identifies itself as Rogier Denekamp, LL.M. & Partners. Letters from SCP-XXXX list a return address in Nijmegen, Netherlands, and tracing electronic correspondence appears to corroborate this, but multiple investigations of this property have shown it to be a non-anomalous grocery store. Attempts to bypass the internet proxy used by SCP-XXXX have resulted in threats of legal action from SCP-XXXX.
Periodically1, SCP-XXXX will send a legal threat to an individual or organisation. These summons take the form of the defendant's preferred mode of written long-distance communication and are written in the language the defendant is most familiar with. SCP-XXXX's sphere of legal expertise is apparently vast, encompassing personal injury, medical malpractice, labour disputes, property disputes, misuse of copyright, slander and fraud. All litigation filed by SCP-XXXX involves a cadaver or a party with an interest in cadavers as the plaintiff. Most SCP-XXXX cases involve an otherwise non-anomalous cadaver suing a non-anomalous person or organisation, although cases involving anomalies or plaintiffs from other planets and dimensions are not uncommon. SCP-XXXX appears to possess extensive knowledge of the Foundation and has both threatened to sue and claimed to represent Foundation personnel, assets and SCP objects.
If a threat from SCP-XXXX has not been complied with after a 72 hour period, or compliance becomes physically impossible, an XXXX-Adrestia event occurs. The defendant in the case, henceforth known as the subject, will be struck with a wooden gavel, typical of those used in American courthouses2. In a human subject, the gavel will always hit the parietal bone at a speed of 450 km/h after manifesting either 500 m above the subject or 3 cm under any obstacle. XXXX-Adrestia events have been known to affect multiple subjects at a time (see Incident-XXXX-DL-6), while previously affected subjects have included non-human creatures and non-sentient objects. Since SCP-XXXX has been in containment, there have been no reported survivors of XXXX-Adrestia events.
Abridged list of litigation filed by SCP-XXXX involving the Foundation. For a full list, please see Document 23-BGTP-XXXX
| Plaintiff | Defendant | Outline of Case | Results |
| Mr. Elango Gajarr | Dr. Oskar Brooks | SCP-XXXX alleged that the plaintiff was being held as a research subject without pay and announced that the defendant was being sued under the Modern Slavery Act 20153. | Dr. Brooks was the head researcher assigned to SCP-022. An estimated 5 minutes after SCP-XXXX e-mailed Dr. Brooks, MTF-Pi-23 were called to reports of an XXXX-Adrestia event at the location of SCP-022. An SCP-022-1 instance was terminated by an assistant researcher while attempting to escape containment, which resulted in Dr. Brooks being killed by a falling gavel. No further XXXX-Adrestia events have involved SCP-022 to date. |
| Isaad Waste Management Ltd. | SCP Foundation | The defendant was accused of industrial espionage, specifically publishing images of the plaintiff's operation to an organisational database without permission, in defiance of the Ethics in Soul Trading Act 3791. | The Foundation immediately ceased all surveillance and hands-on containment of SCP-792, save for an armed fence around the perimeter. An image taken at the site was replaced with a stock photo in documentation, and the location of SCP-792 was redacted. XXXX-Adrestia event did not occur. |
| Capitol Records | SCP Foundation | The defendant was accused of indefinitely detaining the plaintiff's client, Mr. Robin Gibb, without legal recourse, as well as owing appearance and royalty fees. | At the time, Mr. Gibb was the host of SCP-2570. Due to SCP-XXXX's summons being impossible to comply with without exposing an anomaly, MTF-Pi-23 made the decision to negotiate with SCP-XXXX, who offered Adam "MCA" Yauch instead. 3 hours after Mr. Yauch's body was placed at the site of SCP-2570, it began to take on its anomalous properties. The cadaver of Mr. Gibb was buried according to his will. As a result of this case, no music by the Bee Gees is to be played on Foundation site radio. XXXX-Adrestia event did not occur and the plaintiff appears to be ignorant of any lawsuit involving the Foundation. |
| SCP-3318 | SCP Foundation | SCP-3318 was claiming the copyright to the phrase "Can You See Me?" and derivatives thereof, which the Foundation had recorded in documentation. It is unknown; and, due to the object's lack of communication skills, unknowable; whether SCP-3318 was aware it had brought about a lawsuit. | Due to the fact that both an e-mail and letter were sent to the personal addresses of SCP-3318's project head, who was on paid leave at the time, no action was taken. 72 hours after SCP-XXXX Upon his return, SCP-3318's project head was given Class E amnestics and demoted to D-Class personnel. |
| cell-content | cell-content | cell-content |
On August 23rd 2018, the largest scale XXXX-Adrestria event since containment of SCP-XXXX began took place. At 7:34 AM local time, SCP-XXXX privately messaged the head moderator of █████, a paranormal image board on the hosting site ███████.com. Users had been discussing the corpse of a Ms. Jocelynn Richards, who was alleged to have been killed by an instance of SCP-1000 in McCarthy, Alaska.4 SCP-XXXX claimed that Ms. Richards was filing suit against the imageboard for misrepresentation of character. The head moderator believed the message to be spam and banned SCP-XXXX's account. Soon after this, MTF-Pi-23 received reports of multiple simultaneous XXXX-Adrestia events. In total, 8,348 individuals in 67 nations were affected: none survived. It was later found that this represented everyone who had ever made an account on the concerned imageboard.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-1 are to be kept in separate secure storage lockers at Site-19, with the former being stored in an unpowered state. Experiments on SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-1 are only to take place with written approval from Dr. Shearer. All personnel coming into contact with SCP-XXXX must wear site standard fire-resistant clothing to prevent unnecessary injury.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an electric fan oven produced by the Indesit company in 20██. SCP-XXXX appears to be one of a kind and its effect does not manifest in other models produced by the same company. The logo of GOI-411 "M.M.M. Strawberries Ltd." is stencilled on its left side. SCP-XXXX consists of a fan-assisted oven, a grill and a worktop with four burners; each of these components may be controlled individually as with similar ovens. When SCP-XXXX is connected to a source of power, the oven component will begin generating, through unknown means, a fire consistent with that produced by overcooking meat. This fire will engulf the oven compartment and burn at a constant rate of 540°C. However, if the oven door of SCP-XXXX is opened, the flame will not spread. The grill and burner components are non-anomalous and function as expected when SCP-XXXX is connected to a power source.
SCP-XXXX-1 refers to a cast iron skillet of unknown make which was found on the worktop of SCP-XXXX at the time of discovery. If SCP-XXXX-1 is used on any of the burners on SCP-XXXX to cook any product containing beef, the fire within SCP-XXXX’s oven will transfigure through a process not yet understood into magnetospheric plasma. Simultaneously, the fan of SCP-XXXX’s oven will activate, producing a solar wind and thus creating an aurora visual effect. While this effect is active, the oven door of SCP-XXXX may be opened normally which, contrary to its default state, results in the aurora escaping the oven and spreading. Notably, SCP-XXXX’s effect will be confined to the same room as SCP-XXXX and the aurora will not escape through open windows and doors. The aurora effect produced by SCP-XXXX has been shown to last indefinitely as long as SCP-XXXX-1 is cooking beef and for up to 3 hours after cooking has ceased, during which time the fire within SCP-XXXX will gradually revert to its default state.
SCP-XXXX was discovered by Foundation agents monitoring phone calls in the upstate New York area for anomalous activity on █/█/2018. A call was intercepted from a Mr. ██████ █████ to the ████ hardware appliance store in Utica complaining of an “aurora borealis” in his kitchen. During a subsequent interview, Mr. █████ revealed that SCP-XXXX had been delivered that morning and signed for by his mother, who was living with dementia, and had perceived SCP-XXXX’s default effect as his mother having burnt dinner for a guest. It was only when he desperately attempted to use SCP-XXXX-1 to cook frozen hamburgers that SCP-XXXX’s secondary effect manifested. SCP-XXXX was seized and all involved parties were administered Class-A amnestics and released.
M.M.M. Strawberries Ltd. (sometimes styled as Mmm… Strawberries) is a collective believed to be involved in the creation and propagation of anomalous items which are or contain references to the American animated television series The Simpsons (1989-present). M.M.M Strawberries first became known to the Foundation as a result of the discovery and inspection of SCP-XXXX, which was found to be stamped with the collective's watermark; a stencil of a still depicting the character Krusty the Clown eating strawberries from the episode Kamp Krusty (Season 4 Episode 1).
M.M.M Strawberries is not actually believed to be a company and appears on no listings in any country. Instead, it is the theory of Dr. Nash that the collective is an offshoot of the 'Simpsons ███posting' meme phenomenon of the mid-late 2010's and that the items created by this group have no purpose other than to be seen by the public and to be "got" by those who have followed The Simpsons for an extended period of time. The GOI is believed to be an artistic collective with anomalous members, similar to Are We Cool Yet? and Gamers Against Weed, although no organisation of members has yet been found. It is also hypthesised that the items created by M.M.M. Strawberries are the work of one individual or the product of an anomalous effect.
Known items:
- An electric fan oven which, when powered, constantly produces a fire in its oven compartment. When a specific cast iron skillet is used on the hob of the oven to cook beef, the fire changes into magnetic plasma and the fan begins producing solar winds, giving an aurora effect.
- A collect call from an unknown number which, when accepted by any telephone, will connect to the internal monologue of the incumbent Chairman of the Board at Melbourne Water. Accepting the charge causes diplomatic relations between the Commonwealth of Australia and the recipient’s country of origin to deteriorate based on the length of the call.
As the idea describes, the phonecall has the capacity to create diplomatic tensions between the country that receives the call and Australia. The expendables would pretty much consist of experiment logs with intercepted phonecalls.
There is one extra document I'm toying with. It's a message from a current member of the O5 council to his replacement concerning the true discovery event of the SCP. The phonecall was accidentally answered by a child and left to talk for several days. During this time, diplomatic relations between the United States and Australia diminished to such an extent that war was declared and the US nuked a large Australian city. The sudden ceasefire after the phone was hung up resulted in the Foundation seizing the SCP and the implementation of a sudden re-education procedure similar to SCP-8900-EX in which British nuclear testing on indigenous lands became the accepted historical narrative. Perhaps it would work better as a tale, I'm not sure.
- A machine that dispenses strawberry flavoured frozen yoghurt from a seemingly extradimensional source. Testing of the yoghurt has shown it to be composed of 10% potassium benzoate. Consumption of this yoghurt causes the subject to develop a dependency on foods containing potassium benzoate. During withdrawal, a subject will come under the delusion that all humanoid dolls they encounter are sapient, sentient and actively trying to kill them. The only way to resist this effect temporarily is to consume potassium benzoate.
- A machine that dispenses blueberry flavoured frozen yoghurt from a seemingly extradimensional source. Testing of the yoghurt has shown it to be composed of 10% potassium benzoate. Consumption of this yoghurt causes a sudden transmutation in which the subject develops:
- Blue skin pigmentation.
- Facial features and bone structures typical of Sino-Tibetan ethnic groups.
- Hypertrichosis and whitening of the hair.
- A complex in which the subject believes they are a member of a Sino-Tibetan ethnic group who was born in the People's Republic of China. Around 95% of exposed subjects identify as a member of the Han ethnic group.
- Proficiency in Mandarin and, occaisionally, one other Sino-Tibetan language corresponding to the subject's new identity.
- A mental compulsion to sell or give away frozen yoghurt from the strawberry flavoured machine. An affected subject will build their livelihood around selling such yoghurt.
This one's a little more straightforward. For reference, SCP-XXXX-1 is the strawberry machine and SCP-XXXX-2 is the blueberry machine.
The article is a story told from the perspectives of two people. The first is of SCP-XXXX-2-A, an individual infected by SCP-XXXX-2, and is told through interview logs. The second is of an individual who took his own life after being exposed to SCP-XXXX-1 by SCP-XXXX-2-A.
