rating: 0+x


Object #: SCP-XXXX

Object class: Euclid Thaumiel

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained within a standard humanoid containment chamber with a standard bunker blast door1 hydraulically sealed blast door. In the event of a containment breach, SCP-XXXX is allowed access to SCP-XXXX-1 and -22 SCP-XXXX's chamber entrance is to be covered with an outer concrete door to hide the subject's presence in the site as a precaution for a Group of Interest attack.

SCP-XXXX is to have a single black meditation mat, a single heavy punching bag of any make, and a single nylon sword made by █████ ██████ in its cell.

Only Level 4 or higher personnel may speak to SCP-XXXX for an interview. However, it is recommended to speak with the subject in an observation booth. Additionally, inquiry about the subject's abilities' origins must be done with the permission of 2 Level 4 personnel. See Interview XXXX-A for details.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a female humanoid with a mixed accent. SCP-XXXX has wavy black hair and green eyes. SCP-XXXX is 2.13 meters in height and 150 kilograms in weight resultant of the subject's abnormal muscle density.

SCP-XXXX displays a draw to dangerous occurrences (see Addendum XXXX-B for more details). This draw to danger has been considered useful in the event of breaches from Euclid or Keter SCP entities (see Incident XXXX-B). However, the subject tends to use lethal force to resolve dangerous occurrences, be it a riot or an argument which has ended in a fight (see Discovery and Incident-XXXX-A). However, the subject displays an inability to speak about how they came to attain said abilities. See Interview XXXX-A for more details. It is theorized that SCP-XXXX attained the abilities at present against its will, from how the subject describes them as "curses" and displays discomfort when questioned.

SCP-XXXX has been found to have significant brain damage after a magnetic resonance imaging scan. Due to this, SCP-XXXX displays a lack of emotional response or pain to stimuli, with a single exception. Despite SCP-XXXX 's brain damage, subject displays all the capabilities of a normal human: reading, writing, communication and body movement are not restrained by the brain damage. After testing a sample of blood, no antibodies associated with autoimmune disease were detected. It is theorized that the brain damage was caused by supernatural phenomena and is therefore irreparable by biological means.

SCP-XXXX has a high cognitohazardous resistance. Subject has displayed on multiple occasions its physical and martial prowess (see Discovery, Capture Report XXXX, and Incident XXXX-A). SCP-XXXX's epidermis has a high resistance to damage, and a resistance to damage caused by the supernatural. Subject also displays an enhanced regenerative ability, healing bone-depth cuts on its forearm between 4-9 seconds, dependent on the size of said cut. However, intense heat has been shown to slow down SCP-XXXX's healing factor in the applied area, and the subject has deemed itself incapable of repairing its own brain damage. It is theorized that the brain damage was caused by supernatural phenomena and is therefore irreparable by biological means.

SCP-XXXX thinks in a cold, practical way. When asked about a name, the subject responds with Jade. When questioned by researchers, the subject speaks primarily of the sciences, particularly in biology.

SCP-XXXX has displayed, after Incident XXXX-A, the ability to:

  • Tear open a 30 millimeter hole in a steel blast door after 30 minutes of sustained assault. The only way SCP-XXXX was able to do this task was due to the subject's enhanced regeneration. SCP-XXXX's had, according to camera footage, suffered from broken the bones in its arms multiple times, with 7 being compound fractures, and sustained multiple deep lacerations across the subject's arms in the test.
  • Open a 2.4 m x 0.8 m hole in the same blast door after another hour of assault. Subject extracted a tungsten carbide locking bolt from the door's lock as a weapon from the door to aid in cutting the door open.
  • Clear a 50 meter distance within 4 seconds without SCP-XXXX-2. SCP-XXXX can cover this distance between 4 and 5 seconds whilst wearing SCP-XXXX-2.

SCP-XXXX-1 is a two handed sword of a black metallic substance 172 centimeters long. The model of sword bears resemblance to an Oakeshott Type XVIIIb blade. When put through testing, the material of SCP-XXXX-1 was discovered to be an as of yet unknown allotrope of carbon. The allotrope displays the ability to retain an edge of 100 nanometers seemingly indefinitely. The carbon allotrope will henceforth be named "Carbomet" in this document.

SCP-XXXX-2 is a full suit of armor baring no resemblance to a single nationality or age. The padded clothing is composed of Aramid fibers (Kevlar), cotton and linen. The chainmail and plate components are composed of Carbomet. Despite the bulk of the suit, SCP-XXXX-2 does not seem to limit the subject at all.

Discovery: SCP-XXXX's existence was theorized after 6 European cities experienced sudden reductions in crime within 5 years. SCP-XXXX was confirmed to exist by Mobile Task Force Omega-40 ("Diamond Disks") after reports of a riot in Lyon, France supposedly broken up by SCP-XXXX. See Capture Report XXXX for details on subject's capture and the incident leading to its discovery. Subject classified as Euclid

Addendum XXXX-A: SCP-XXXX has been witnessed boxing the concrete walls without flinching when its knuckles had broken. When the subject has argued with research personnel, SCP-XXXX has not displayed any evident frustration or anger. Other stimuli have been tested in an attempt to provoke an emotional response. See Test Logs: Emotional Stimulus for more details.

Addendum XXXX-B: SCP-XXXX's ability to sense danger and its draw to danger has been shown to extend for a 500 m radius. No barrier or object has been found capable of suppressing or blocking SCP-XXXX's sense of danger.

Addendum XXXX-C: SCP-XXXX, as of 03/02/2017, has been recorded muttering the following in its sleep:

"But I did as you asked."

"What did I do to deserve this?"

"Why did you do this?"

"How is this karma, or justice? Explain."

Capture personnel: Mobile Task Force Omega-40 AKA "Diamond Disks"

Personnel Present: 20

Personnel Equipment: 3 dart guns, 20 batons, 5 polycarbonate shields, 20 suits of riot gear, 15 ketamine-filled darts

Capture of Subject: Successful

Casualties: 8 MTF injured, 5 MTF dismembered, 3 MTF dead, 1 civilian dead

Equipment Destroyed: 1 dart gun, 10 batons, 2 polycarbonate shields, 17 suits of riot gear, one 1 ketamine-filled dart.

Method of Capture: Ketamine-filled dart to the temple once helmet was removed.

Captain's Commentary: We used a mugging, God bless those poor [REDACTED] souls, as the lure and we hid under black tarps and garbage bags. Mugger didn't see the damn blade coming. Once she killed him, we went in. Danny went first with his riot shield to force her into the wall. He bounced off of her, I repeat, bounced! She then went on her damn warpath. Christ, I nearly lost my leg! [REDACTED] was fast…

Captain Olive given class B amnestics.

Date of Incident: 05:40 20/06/2016 - 8:36 20/06/2016
Breach Type: D-Class riot, single Euclid breach

SCP(s) Breached Containment: SCP-XXXX

Events of Incident: On 15/05/20██, a large quantity of D-Class had been used in SCP experimentation. Afterwards, logistics made a requisition for more personnel. A group of 6 D-Class are shown to be discussing frequently, drawing a large crowd of personnel, on 05/06/20██. Due to the crowd, the supposed organizers could not be identified clearly. D-Class breached containment on 20/06/20██ and assaulted the guards assigned to patrol the area. They proceeded to disarm and use the guards' weapons on Mobile Task Forces sent in to help with the breach. Upon the D-Class breach, SCP-XXXX also breached containment and the containment of its two subobjects. Guards assigned to the subject killed in action, presumably by SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX arrived at D-Class containment at 06:30. Subject proceeded to extract 20 MTF and guard personnel whilst disarming, dismembering or terminating multiple D-Class personnel. Once all the attacked guard and MTF personnel were extracted by the subject, SCP-XXXX continued its rampage before the riot scattered. Organizers of the D-Class breach found terminated by SCP-XXXX as the riot dispersed. SCP-XXXX was tranquilized and taken back to containment. SCP-XXXX-1 and -2 were moved to the on-site warehouse.


D-Class MTF Guard
Dead 28 6 5
Dismembered 12 0 0
Injured 16 4 7
Comatose 0 0 1

Post-Incident Interview with Guard Captain Rogers:

Interviewer: Dr. Jason

Interviewed: Guard Captain Rogers

Foreword: Post-riot interview.

<Begin log, 09:00 20/06/2016>

Dr. J Captain, could you describe the riot and how it started?

Captain R: It was…chaos. No other word for it. We were on guard duty for the start of the day when out of nowhere, the D-Class all opened their cell gates and pinned down me and my squad. I saw at least two of my squad killed. It's like they knew our patrols to the letter, even when they were changed last month.

Dr. Jason: When do you think SCP-XXXX arrived on the scene?

Captain Rogers: Do you think I kept track of the time? All I can say is Jade was a Godsend. A messy Godsend, though.

< Captain R shivers>

Dr. Jason: Can you describe the scene after SCP-XXXX arrived?

Captain Rogers: I don't know how to describe it in any other way than this: I've seen Keter breaches easier to clean than that riot. That sword, God, I'm lucky I wasn't on the other end of it. Not to mention the sound when she caved that poor [REDACTED] skull in, I have nightmares from that. Jade is vicious!

Dr. Jason: Why do you refer to SCP-XXXX by name?

Captain Rogers: She just said to me "I'm Jade, I'm here to help." It just stuck, really.

Dr. Jason: Anything else you would like to add, Captain?

Captain Rogers: Nothing besides a question: why is she Euclid class?

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Captain Rogers permitted to leave. "Thank you" card found stuck to SCP-XXXX's containment cell door signed by the guards the subject rescued. Upgrade to Keter class considered.

SCP-XXXX-J: Correct End

Object #: SCP-XXXX-J

Object Class: Keter, rightly chosen Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-J is to be kept in its scabbard in a standard Safe Object locker. Practitioners of Historical European Martial Arts, with the exception of those who study the Gladiatoria manuals, are allowed free access to hold and swing the subject.

Description: SCP-XXXX-J is a sword of Oakeshott Type XVa. The object measures a good mordhau-delivering length I don't even speak German 143 centimeters. The guard of the sword comprises of steel, extending to half the length of the handle on each quillon, and tapering to a point to cave those helms in better. The subject's pommel is its strongest feature is made of the same steel as the guard, spherical, flanged which makes it better at its primary function and screws onto the subject's threaded tang.

Those within a 2 meter distance of SCP-XXXX-J feel compelled to hold SCP-XXXX-J by the blade4 and kill the infidels attack those of non-Christian faith. The attacks primarily involvea good old murder stroke bashing with the guard and pommel or ending them swiftly unscrewing the pommel and throwing it. The affected subject can launch the object at 100 meters per second and has been tested to cause the following5:

  • Explode on contact with any humanoid. Said humanoid will disintegrate, leaving a pile of fine ash.
  • Pierce a bunker door and continue without slowing.
  • Ricochet 24 times before stopping.

SCP-XXXX - The Spice of Life

Object #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX and its components are to be kept unmounted in a storage crate filled with paper shreddings to prevent damage. Before the consumption of any meal containing SCP-XXXX's spices, the subject must be interviewed regarding their food preferences and their food preferences must be logged in both digital and hard copies. Those with a preference to spicy food are to be immediately denied access to SCP-XXXX. If someone who frequently consumes spicy food is to consume a dish containing SCP-XXXX, they must be immediately tranquilized and kept in an induced coma for a duration dependent on the quantity of SCP-XXXX spices they have consumed.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a collection of related subobjects. SCP-XXXX-1 is a three-tier spice rack made of English oak wood with a French polish finish. SCP-XXXX-1 is 80cm x 30cm x 10cm in size. Any attempts to damage or destroy SCP-XXXX-1 have resulted in the instantaneous regeneration of the subject and a spontaneous appearance of pure capsaicin in the attacker's eyes.

SCP-XXXX-2 is a collection of 60 different spices, herbs and spice blends used in cooking. Each spice is contained in a 3cm diameter x 6cm height glass jar. SCP-XXXX-2's spices give the consumer a sudden desire to try or do new or different activities in life6.

SCP-XXXX was discovered in █████, Wales, after a spontaneous increase in dangerous activity in the local area. Additionally, the British Health and Safety Executive presence in the town had increased due to reports of workplace incidents. The SCP Foundation investigated █████ and found the source of the above issues to be the [REDACTED] Indian Restaurant. The Foundation agent sent to investigate, Agent Lloyd, found SCP-XXXX after ordering a meal at the [REDACTED] Indian Restaurant and reporting a sudden urge to "go rock climbing without a harness." Agent Lloyd was called back in, kept restrained, and eventually interviewed (See Interview XXXX-1). Mobile Task Force Nu-14 ("Cobblers") was sent in to secure SCP-XXXX. See Capture Report for more details.

Capture personnel: MTF Nu-14 "Cobblers"

Personnel Present: 10

Personnel Equipment: 2 crowbars, 1 electric drill, 10 9mm pistols, 10 sets of standard MTF tactical gear.

Capture of Subject: Successful

Casualties: 1 blinded

Equipment Destroyed: None

Method of Capture: Prying off the wall with crowbar unsuccessful. User blinded and SCP-XXXX regenerated. Electric drill applied to screws. SCP-XXXX was removed from the wall and placed in a portable container.

Captain's Commentary: We were told the SCP may be something spice-related. First thing I thought was it'd be the big spice rack. Securing it went smoothly. Employees didn't resist, they seemed glad, frankly. One even said it "cost them business and customers." Poor Johnny, the scream he made was scary.

Interviewer: Dr. Marigold

Interviewed: Agent Lloyd

Foreword: Speaking with Agent Lloyd after restraint.

<Begin Log, 14:26

Dr. Marigold: Hello Agent Lloyd.

A. Lloyd: Hello Doctor Marigold.

Dr. Marigold: Could you describe what happened after eating this meal you had?

A. Lloyd: I, ah… had a balti curry. It was lovely, but after I finished it, I nearly went to the cliffs to try no-harness rock climbing. I always wanted to, but I never got the opportunity. It was rather odd, so I stopped myself before I even got to the beach.

Dr. Marigold: So you ate your food and afterwards, you wanted to try rock climbing. What else happened, did you want to do anything else?

A. Lloyd: One thing I wanted to do is quite embarrassing to talk about, and unsuitable for this. Aside from those two things, I really wanted to try out Keter duty.

Dr. Marigold: That'll be it for today, Agent Lloyd.

A. Lloyd: Thank you for seeing me. I got really worried when I thought those thoughts.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Agent Lloyd kept contained until the effect wore off. SCP-XXXX-2's anomalous properties wearing off was evident as Agent Lloyd had stopped asking to go rock climbing. SCP-XXXX has been prepared for testing.

SCP-XXXX: Phone Pandemic

Object #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-XXXX's worldwide presence, containment is impossible. However, a series of cures have been suggested to stem the rate of infection:

  • PSAs regarding the spread of SCP-XXXX
  • A memetic hazard designed to make infected limit/prevent the use of carriers.

Further methods of stemming the rate of infection are currently in progress. This becomes perpetually difficult as time goes by due to the number of carriers being made daily.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a virus found in a majority of mobile devices with any of the following:

  • Touch screen.
  • Internet connection
  • Liquid crystal displays (LCDs)
  • The ability to use and download applications.
  • The ability to send written messages through wireless media.

Any and all of the devices with the above features are considered "carriers" of SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX primarily infects humans between the ages of 7-18 years old, remaining dormant in a host younger than 10 years old. Infected subjects between the ages of 10-18 years old experience any combination of the following general symptoms:

  • Following social trends and idols in a fanatical manner.
  • The inability to argue without insulting the subject(s) or becoming angry.
  • An increased chance of listening to rap idols formerly in gang culture.
  • The development of a careless attitude.
  • An increased display of hypocrisy.
  • Insubordination in educational environments.
  • The inability to blame the subject's self.

The above symptoms can develop further, causing the infected subject to do any combination of the following:

  • Replicating stunts performed in social trends or by social idols.
  • An increased chance of littering.
  • The development of similar mindsets on political affairs, music or opinion.
  • Attempting to force an agenda or opinion on others with different/less popular agendas.
  • An increased chance to dissociate with others based on their agendas.
  • Attempting to maintain the social standard on bodily fitness or beauty without regarding the implications for the subject's future.

In extreme cases, infected subjects may experience the following:

  • The development of mental illness.
  • Joining gang culture.
  • Participating in the use of illegal recreational drugs.
  • Self-deprivation of education.
  • Teenage/underage pregnancy.
  • Attempting to find fame via social media.

Infected parents may experience any of the following:

  • A compulsion to frequently check the carrier they have on their person.
  • Ignorance to their child(ren).
  • Giving toddlers minimal care. This may include handing them a feeding bottle or pacifier before returning their attention to the carrier in their hand.

SCP-XXXX was first detected worldwide in ██/██/2003 by Dr. Briggs, who now works as Assistant Researcher of SCP-XXXX. Infection rates spiked in ██/██/2007

Spare Parts (not an SCP, bits and pieces from articles I may keep)

SCP-XXXX-2 is assembled of the following components:

  • A dense coat (SCP-XXXX-2-A) approximately 4 kilograms in weight. Aramid fibers (Kevlar), cotton and linen have been found in this coat as both woven sheets and stuffing. Finite Element Analysis (to not damage this component of SCP-XXXX-2) on a computer has shown the coat to resist small arms up to .45 caliber.
  • A 10 kilogram long-sleeved shirt of chainmail (SCP-XXXX-2-B) made of Carbomet designed to fit tightly over SCP-XXXX-2-A.
  • A densely woven pair of trousers (SCP-XXXX-2-C) of the same composition as SCP-XXXX-2-A weighing 2.5 kilograms.
  • A pair of Carbomet chainmail stockings (SCP-XXXX-2-D) which attach to -C weighing 5 kilograms each.
  • A 1.05 kilogram padded hood (SCP-XXXX-2-E) of the same composition as SCP-XXXX-2-A.
  • A 2 kilogram chainmail hood or coif (SCP-XXXX-2-F) made of Carbomet that attaches to -E.
  • A leather bodysuit (SCP-XXXX-2-G) which envelops the cloth and chainmail armor.
  • A four-piece body and back armor (SCP-XXXX-2-H) made of Carbomet.
  • A pair of Carbomet arm and shoulder guards (SCP-XXXX-2-I) which encompass the whole arm. The forearm and hand guards of SCP-XXXX-2-I resemble 15th Century German gauntlets and the shoulder guards resemble 16th Century Swedish pauldrons.
  • A wide Carbomet girdle with laminated plates extending down to knee height (SCP-XXXX-2-J) on SCP-XXXX.
  • A pair of Carbomet plate leg guards (SCP-XXXX-2-K) encompassing the thigh, kneecap, calf and feet. The laminated foot guards are designed to fit over a steel toe cap boot. The calf and knee guards resemble 15th Century Italian kneeguards and 15th Century German greaves respectively.
  • The final part of SCP-XXXX-2 is SCP-XXXX-2-L. SCP-XXXX-2-L is a Carbomet helmet and neck protector with a removable visor. SCP-XXXX-2-L resembles a late 16th Century English armet.
  • A single golden retriever pup to provoke happiness, affection or desire. Subject stroked the pup for thirty (30) minutes to calm it before asking for its removal. Conclusion: SCP-XXXX does not feel happiness, affection or desire. Note: She didn't even smile. Dr. J████