rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be chained to a singular bike rack that is kept in a standard containment chamber at Site-13. SCP-XXXX is to be equipped with a GPS tracking device. Testing is to be approved by Level 3 personnel.

Description: SCP-XXXX is an animate stylized bicycle. Its handlebar is dented, and its red lead-based paint is peeling off. Beneath the seat is a seat belt along with a small radio speaker which has been duct-taped to the bike. At the back, it has an orange metal plate which reads "DR. FUNDERTAINMENT'S TAKE-YOU EVERYWHERE MACHINE."

SCP-XXXX is sapient and possesses a small English vocabulary. It speaks in an irritated tone, will frequently demand personnel to ride on it, and has been known to physically assault personnel who it believes are insulting or taunting it. SCP-XXXX is capable of moving up to 17kph and appears to be in a constant search for potential riders.

When a human sits on the bike, SCP-XXXX's seat belt will autonomously secure them and will only unbuckle upon their expiration or through force. During the ride, SCP-XXXX will move aimlessly at its fastest speed. While SCP-XXXX occasionally asks the rider where they want to go it will always ignore their suggestion or dismiss the suggested location as being uninteresting, "stupid", or nonexistent.