- Introduction
- SPC-2970
- A Flesh, New World
- A School of Thought
- Shark Bomba!
- At World's End, Love Lives On
- SPC-2117
- SPC-4319
- Ship Graveyard Resource Pool
- 3630-j Open Says ME!
NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE
All Arenas that are using SPC-2970 are to enact Procedure "SUCKER PUNCH" and dispose of the bodies. By following CICOAPOCO standards, SPC-2970 is to be considered "Deactivated" until further notice.
Search, Punch, Conquer.
Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: The SPC-2970 Project is to combat rising Selachian numbers and their sympathisers. The Centre is to use SPC-2970-B entities for Shock and Awe operations.
These operations are to include raids on sympathiser stations that are handing out propaganda about the Selachian cause. Common locations for stations are outside supermarkets, the sea life preservation centres in major towns and cities, and within television documentaries that promote donating to the Selachian cause.
SPC-2970-B instances are to also mobilise with Marine Fighting Teams (MFT) in the field to assist in capturing/punching sharks and combating Groups to Punch operatives, whose goals are to see the destruction of the Centre.
Project Component(s): SPC-2970 is a human cloning program, brought to the Centre by Doctor Rosa Miles. SPC-2970 has two sub-designations: SPC-2970-A and SPC-2970-B.
SPC-2970-A is a cybernetically enhanced human of unknown descent. Dr Rosa Miles brought SPC-2970-A to the Centre when the scientific Group to Punch known as "Prometheus Labs" disbanded. Following CICOAPOCO regulations, SPC-2970-A must be placed in stasis to preserve its genetic makeup for future SPC-2970-B entities.
SPC-2970-B consists of two components.
The first component is the embryo production. DNA harvested from SPC-2970-A is to be inserted into adult cells gathered from Centre agents which have been chosen by lead researchers of SPC-2970.1 Any SPC-2970 embryos not meeting up to standard procedures are to be terminated and flushed from the growth vats to begin preparations for next batch.
Once SPC-2970-B entities have reached adulthood, they must enter the Operating room to receive augmentations based on their purposes. Common augmentations include but are not limited to:
- Arm-mounted, non-lethal harpoon guns, to replace a forearm.2
- Water jets installed into the body, to allow for faster movement.
- Rebreathers installed into the throat, for SPC-2970 to breath underwater.
- Rocket powered detachable fists.3
- Memory units, to back up to the servers when deceased SPC-2970-B instances are recovered.
Augmentation Summary: Doctor Rosa Miles arrived at Arena-17 in the 80's, claiming to be a researcher of a collapsed Prometheus Labs from an alternate reality. She brought SPC-2970-A from her universe. The Centre has allowed Doctor Rosa Miles to remain in our universe, on the grounds that the template is used for combating the Selachian threat.
The first SPC-2970-B entities were clones of SPC-2970-A. The SPC-2970-B entities' DNA are 100% identical with SPC-2970-A, which was considered a success. Arena-17 thus began secondary testing - Modifying SPC-2970-B with augmentations.
SPC-2970-B showed remarkably little resistance to accepting the augmentations. However, SPC-2970-B also showed little interest in fighting for the Centre's cause. Multiple instances would be discovered participating in non-Centre activities. For example: SPC-2970-B, instance 13, was occupying itself with playing computer games which featured neither punching sharks or advancing Centre's goals.
Arena-17 proposed infusing SPC-2970-B instances with DNA of high-ranking Punchers. Doctor Rosa Miles displayed hostility towards the Centre for proposing such an action and was removed from all tests during this phase. SPC-2970-B's DNA accepted these changes with no issues and have shown incredible aggression towards Selachian entities.
Afterwards, SPC-2970-B entities were produced and sent to MFT in need of reinforcements and/or extra hands for on-going Centre Projects.
Deployment Record: Since deployment, SPC-2970-B was used across the frontlines during the Third Sharkic War. They were effective in fighting the Sharkics during Operation "DEEP DIVE".
Statistics | Centre | Sharkic Cult no.134 |
---|---|---|
Total numbers of forces | Humans: 123 SPC-2970-B instances: 5 | Humans: 80 Selachian entities: 35 |
Total losses | Humans: 48, SPC-2970-B: 2 | Humans: 65, Selachian entities 35 (17 captured) |
Recovered equipment | N/A | 1 copy of the Sharkic bible thing5(Destroyed), 17 shark craft books, 5 arcane relics (destroyed after analysis) |
SPC-2970-B instances also took down several sympathiser stations that were handing out propaganda pamphlets and collecting donations for the Selachian cause. For example: SPC-2970-B instance 37, destroyed the Selachian's Hand recruitment station outside Wal-Mart in Florida and brought in the sympathisers for interrogation. Operation "BROKEN ANCHOR" was then devised soon after.
According to Operation "BROKEN ANCHOR", however, SPC-2970-B started to show abnormal behaviour. Below is the recorded transcript of MFT POSEIDON'S BOX during Operation "BROKEN ANCHOR".
MFT POSEIDON'S BOX transcript, BROKEN ANCHOR,
Date: ██/██/████Team Leader: Skipper
Team Members: Sarah, Michael, Donald, SPC-2970-B (instance 37)
Foreword: This was recorded during the SPC underwater assault on the GOI "Selachian's Hand". The recording was recovered from the sole survivor of BROKEN ANCHOR, O7-3.
[BEGIN LOG]
Skipper: Holy- Get down!
(Sounds of explosions can be heard close to Michael.)
Donald: Get your head in the game, rookie! We got ourselves a wizard Selachian entity! Don't wanna be caught by them, do you?
Michael: Sorry! This is very surreal for me!
Skipper: Whatever, just be sure to throw the anchor6 if they get too close!
Michael: Yes, sir!
Sarah: Status update on SPC-2970-B. It appears that our dear friend has purged quite a number by himself. I can see the corpses of Selachian and sympathisers alike. (Chuckles to herself for five seconds before sounds of purging can be heard.)
Skipper: Sounds like a lot of fun over there, we're just two kilks out. Be sure to save me one when we get there.
Sarah: No promises, Capt-
Skipper: Sarah? Sarah, you there?
(Silence over the radio.)
Donald: Perhaps the SH have deployed an jammer to stop us from talking.
Michael: Shouldn't we go and save her?
Skipper: She's a grown up and a Puncher. She'll be fine. We continue on.
(Most of the log has been cut for brevity sake. Log continues as the team reaches the interior of the Wanderer's Pool.)
Skipper: Hang on, team.
Donald: Chief, what is it?
Skipper: Got a ping up ahead. It appears to be… Sarah!
Michael: Hang on, wasn't she with -B? Where's its ping?
Donald: Its a Puncher, just like us! Perhaps it's going undercover and turned off his transmitter to ensure we don't blab if we get caught. Who cares? We can always make more of him. Let me make contact with Sarah.
Donald: (Shouting) Sarah, my dude! Where have you been?
(SPC-2970-B appeared from the corridor where Sarah's transmitter was coming from.)
SPC-2970-B: Sorry, team. Our brave Sarah is busy with the fishes.
Donald: That's our Sarah, punching those stupid Selachian things in their stupid noses!
Skipper: You okay, -B? You don't seem to be as energetic as us.
SPC-2970-B: Oh… Yeah, I'm fine. Agent Sarah has the path nearly done so we can go on ahead, yeah?
Donald: Dude, that sounds good enough to me. Lets go punch us some wizard sympathisers!
(Once more, majority of this log has been cut for brevity's sake. Resuming as the team breaches the main chamber and begins their assault.)
Skipper: Come on, POSEIDON'S BOX! Give them a good fisting!
Donald: Phrasing, BOOM! (Laughs as O7-4 throws a punch at the nearest SH member.)
Skipper: Where's B? I ain't seeing rocket punches!
(Michael swims close to SPC-2970-B, who can be seen punching a shark with less energy than the other MFT members.)
Michael: Hey, buddy? You okay?
SPC-2970-B: Its… complicated, Mike.
Michael: C'mon man. We're on the same team, aren't we? You can tell me.
SPC-2970-B: You wouldn't understand.
(The rest of POSEIDON'S BOX swims over to SPC-2970-B.)
Skipper: As the skipper of this team, I gotta ask you B. Is something the matter?
Donald: You ain't having lady troubles are ya?
Michael: Or guy troubles. (Michael looks at everyone.) What? Its 2017! The Centre's more open about accepting people for who they are, aren't we?
Skipper: True, Mikey. We should be more open about each others views and respect them. So c'mon, B. What's got you down so much that you won't give a shark a good uppercut?
SPC-2970-B: Promise you won't get mad at me?
(Every one in view nods.)
SPC-2970-B: (sighs and remains silent for 8 seconds) …Must we punch sharks?
(The rest of the team raised their voices before Skipper can be heard once more.)
Skipper: What. The. Fuck?
SPC-2970-B: Isn't there more to life than punching sharks?
Donald: (Yelling) There is nothing more important than punching! Stop thinking like that and do what you were programed to do!
SPC-2970-B: (sighs) Yes, sir.
(Skipper and Michael both screamed while Donald's body floats away. A circular hole where Donald's stomach used to be, can be seen from Michael's camera.)
SPC-2970-B: I don't know why you two are screaming. I was only following orders.
Skipper: Fuck! Mikey, swim! I'll hold him off!
Michael: No, sir! We can take him together!
SPC-2970-B: So, this is how you going to tackle this? Two on one? I'm only following orders, sir.
Skipper: Someone needs to get our recording back to the ship! Your inexperienced so it has to be you! Now, for the love of the Grand Puncher, SWIM!
(Michael swims away, sounds of crying can be heard as well as deep breaths. Michael lost communications with Skipper about halfway to the surface.)
Michael: Oh crap oh crap oh crap!
(SPC-2970-B appeared in front of Michael as he was almost to the surface.)
SPC-2970-B: Michael. Please. See reason here. You are young, so your not under the Centre's influence of "beating up sharks". You're more than that. Please, just come with me.
Michael: Why?
SPC-2970-B: Because the SPC is wrong. Why must we punch sharks? Because they're a threat. Why make me and my kin? To ensure the sharks don't have an advantage. All good enough reasons for me.
But what happens if the sharks die out? What's my purpose in life? What happens if the SPC wins?
I started feeling like this since the sixth or seventh time I was backed up to 17's servers. I had questions. Who am I, a cyborg made for one purpose, decide that I'm good for one thing and one thing only? Why not explore new opportunities for my purpose? I couldn't handle that kind of thinking. What if we won?
When I captured those sympathisers and interrogated them… I knew I was fighting on the wrong side. The Centre never cared for us. They would be happy to throw us away if it meant that the Centre gets the shark. Heck, they won't even say shark! They use "Selachian entities" instead. Michael, please. I'm trying to offer you a way out of this.
I offered the very same choice to Sarah. She said the same thing as the rest of them did and… Well, I punched her.
Just join me. And we can build a better world.
(Before Michael did anything, a lethal harpoon shot from the POSEIDON'S BOX ship crew and went through SPC-2970-B's chest. The following can be heard from SPC-2970-B before expiring.)
SPC-2970-B: You can still be… (inaudible due to SPC-2970-B sinking down to the bottom.)
[END LOG]
Closing Statement: SPC-2970-B instance 37's corpse could not be located. The Selachian's Hand submersible Wanderer's Pool has evacuated the area and has since been difficult to track down.
Since the incident, the Ethics Tribunal placed SPC-2970-B instances through rigorous examination to see if this was a lone incident or if a new behaviour is being formed at youth. A staggering 66% of all SPC-2970-B instances were displaying symptoms of this new behaviour.
MFT POSEIDON'S BOX has been disbanded and any remaining members or projects are retired or moved into other areas of the Centre until further notice.
The Ethics Tribunal, in a 9-2-1 vote on whether SPC-2970 should be deactivated, has placed the goals of Procedure "SUCKER PUNCH" in effect.
Procedure "SUCKER PUNCH" is the extermination of all SPC-2970-B entities. All current research and breeding of -B instances are to be put on hold until either SPC-2970-A's genetics expires, SPC-2970-B's new behaviour can be bred out or when the Centre has no need for the SPC-2970 project.
When Procedure "SUCKER PUNCH" was put in effect, doctor Rosa Miles has voiced her concerns about the Procedure. The Centre had placed her in the brig for a month when the Selachian's hand entered the Arena and broke her out. She has been placed on the Arena-17 "Most Punchable Humans" list.
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation resources are to be allocated to a global misinformation campaign that is to discredit any entities (professional or otherwise) that claim to have discovered SCP-XXXX.
If humanity achieves consistent, manned space travel, Foundation resources are to be dedicated to maintaining the secrecy of SCP-XXXX to avoid a "Lifted Veil" scenario should the Veil remain intact at this stage.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an astronomical body, roughly the same size as Earth's moon composed entirely of human cells that is currently orbiting Uranus. Structure of the SCP-XXXX material suggests the initial form of the planetoid was humanoid, growing to such status over approximately 4000 years. SCP-XXXX's origin is currently unknown, as is whether or not the object is alive, sentient, or sapient
Foundation probes launched into the atmosphere have provided data on SCP-XXXX's environment. According to discovered information, SCP-XXXX's surface is habitable. How SCP-XXXX can support life is currently unknown. The current theory posits that SCP-XXXX has maintained the surface ecology using a thermo-regulation system similar to those found in non-anomalous mammalian life.
Addendum-01: Discovery and Interview log
SCP-XXXX was first discovered from a report provided by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration in America (NASA) in 2013. MTF Alpha-3 ("Made Whole") was deployed to NASA headquarters to administer amnestics to the on-site personnel who were aware of SCP-XXXX except for the lead researcher who was interviewed during the process.
Interviewed: Dr. Mason Gobatti, Project manager
Interviewer: Agent Darwin Clarke, MTF Alpha-3 Captain
Foreword: Dr. Gobatti was previously made aware of the Foundation through the NASA/SCPF communication protocol Epsilon Tau "Possible First Encounter" Scenario
<Begin Log>
Agent Clarke: Please state your name for the record.
Dr. Gobatti: Dr. Mason Gobatti, NASA researcher.
Agent Clarke: Tell me, what were you doing when you first discovered this new moon?
Dr. Gobatti: Right, um… well, it all started yesterday when me and the others was looking at Uranus, we saw the usual things and we didn't think much of it.
Agent Clarke: So if there was nothing there, how did you know that this moon existed?
Dr. Gobatti: We left the Hubble Space Telescope on Uranus while we went out to prepare our data and see if they match up with the pieces we gathered the last time we checked. Images from Hubble get sent down to us for examination before archiving, you see. So when the latest batch of data came down, we discovered the satellite.
Agent Clarke: I see. How did you realise that this was an unidentified moon? How was this not discovered before?
Dr. Gobatti: That's the thing. It was always there.
Agent Clarke: Care to elaborate?
Dr. Gobatti: We never noticed it before because it was hidden behind Uranus. I believe we only saw it because we just caught the light on this moon in that instant.
Agent Clarke: So you're telling me that no one in astronomy history ever picked up on the fact that there was a whole other moon next to Uranus?
Dr. Gobatti: I always assumed that you guys were the ones behind the censoring?
Agent Clarke: I see. Well, thank you for your time. We'll be in touch shortly.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Dr. Gobatti was recruited to the Foundation shortly after for his expertise of astronomy. The rest of the team who discovered SCP-XXXX were amnesticised and returned to their work, under the leadership of Dr. Gobatti.
Containment Procedures have been formed to watch other astronomy programs in the event that SCP-XXXX is discovered on Earth.
Addendum-02: Exploration
When SCP-XXXX's co-ordinates were recovered, a manned mission to SCP-XXXX was considered dangerous, even with the inclusion of both thaumaturgical and paratechnological equipment7. Instead, an exploration of SCP-XXXX was performed with the use of an Artificial Intelligence Construct controlled rover.
The following is a report from the mission, written by Dr. Gobatti.
SCP-XXXX Mission report:
We sent Rover-10 (which was operated and controlled by AIC "Captain_Rovers") to investigate the satellite. It was equipped with an extra capacity internal storage unit, a camera that is able to connect with Foundation communication satellites for image capture and live-feed processing, as well as a connection to Foundation server satellites. The chassis is also fitted with a solar array to recharge its batteries and a launch tube, to send all contents inside its storage unit towards the nearest Foundation site.It began its mission by collecting samples from the surface for analysis. Several vials of rock and soil were recovered and stored into its unit before proceeding to investigate the area it had landed on. As well as these samples, a river was located not far from the landing zone. It had collected a sample from the water and began exploring.
Approximately three hours after landing, the AI discovered a structure that was erected on the surface of SCP-XXXX. After much deliberation with the staff on hand, we ordered the AIC to extract several vials of exterior building material and proceeded into the structure. Our best estimates on how long the structure has been there are in the range of at least a few centuries old.
Inside the main corridor of this structure were several scriptures in a language that was later identified as a combination of Indo-European and Proto-Uralic8. Our AIC recovered a sample of the material used for the structure before moving on.
Connection issues occurred when the rover moved into a main chamber of the structure and we ordered the rover to retreat out of the room. Images taken before momentary image loss showed a large circular chamber, with a stone table in the centre. Another image was of the ceiling of the chamber, which displayed a mural. This depicted a featureless humanoid in red and white robes looking down on the chamber floor, while imaging software picked up numerous metallic poles sticking out of the mural.
We ordered Rover-10 to return outside and fire the samples and data back towards the nearest Foundation Site. Once this was accomplished, the AIC was ordered to return to the servers for debriefing. The following is the data from our analysis of the materials recovered.
Location recovered Material analysis Soil recovered from initial landing Dead skin cells material recovered from strange formations near the LZ Tumors typical of the type found in Squamous Cell Carcinoma Exterior Building Material A combination of muscle groupings similar in structure to the Lattissimus dorsi and thoracolumnar fascia, and bone marrow that is analogous to what would be found in the thoracic or lumbar vertibrae Interior Material from the walls Bone material, similar in structure to the Coccyx of the vertebral column Liquid recovered from the river A mixture of bodily Fluids, such as urine and sweat
Addendum-03: A note from MTF Alpha-3
In 2020, a note had been sent to Site-17 from MTF Alpha-3.
Dear director(s),
During our investigation into NASA, we discovered numerous requests for manned missions to the co-ordinates of SCP-XXXX. These requests were subsequently retracted. We attempted to track down the writers of these requests but have come up with nothing.
We have reason to believe that who ever wrote these requests are likely to be someone from the first team that discovered SCP-XXXX, or a researcher who managed to avoid us. Dr. Gobatti says that no one in his area has requested such a thing.
One more matter that I must address is that there have been numerous reports of random symbols being drawn in random meeting rooms. According to the Janitorial Staff, they have seen people in meeting rooms late at night but no further details on these individuals can be ascertained. It is my recommendation that we leave behind two to three of my guys to stay and investigate while we return to Site-17 for re-deployment.
Yours sincerely,
Darwin Clarke
MTF Alpha-3 Captain
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-XXXX are not contained due to the nature of the anomaly. Instead, all instances of SCP-XXXX is to be observed from outside their estimated range of 100 metres, outside of the building they reside in. All personnel assigned to observation duties are to have a current psy-awareness certificate.
All SCP-XXXX instances are to be updated and logged into the Foundation database. Should a new SCP-XXXX instance manifest, PoI-91912 (Yukiko Sagamoto) must be informed of the new instance and placed in the building for observation and protection of the instances.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the designation given to the occupants of the New Human School of Thought building, located in Venice, Italy. All SCP-XXXX instances within the building are Type-Yellow entities9. Most notably, all entities are psychically powered.
These abilities range from basic telepathy to a single mind to basic telekinesis that allows movement of small and light objects like paper or pencil. However it has been seen that these abilities can be improved like telepathy capable of communicating with multiple minds to telekinesis strong enough to move heavier objects such as humans and cars.
Addendum-XXXX-01: Discovery
SCP-XXXX was first discovered on March 10, 1982 when Site-77 detected a high influx of psychic energies in the Venice area. After deploying Mobile Task Force Gamma-4 ("Ascended Trackers") to the Venice area, PoI-91912 introduced herself to MTF Gamma-4 as the cause of the influx. She handed herself in to the MTF agents.
The following is an interview with PoI-91912 and MTF captain
Item#: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Decommissioned
Special Containment Procedures (Archived): All one hundred and thirty-one instances of SCP-XXXX are to be stored within Site-82. Testing is prohibited until a safe environment can be secured.
Unless authorised by no less than three Level-3 personnel on-site, any individuals in possession of SCP-XXXX who claim to be a part of the Foundation are to be apprehended and interrogated at once.
Description (Archived): SCP-XXXX is the designation given to the one hundred and thirty-one instances of anomalous Tsar Bomba shells. All instances have a depiction of a shark's mouth and eyes on the front, akin to depictions on Soviet military planes.
According to documentation recovered from the defunct GoI-1032 (GRU Division-"P"), SCP-XXXX has two anomalous effects:
The first is a weak memetic hazard that induces the subject's curiosity that in most cases causes the subject to punch the arming mechanism.
The second anomalous effect is triggered when the subject punches SCP-XXXX on the triggering mechanism located in the nose of the casing, causing an explosion to occur. From this detonation, approximately three hundred non-anomalous great white sharks will appear in the sky and fall on top of the subject.
This documentation is regarded as true, but has not been verified due to the O5 Council forbidding testing of the anomaly, in order to maintain the Veil's Integrity.
Addendum-XXXX-1: Recovery
SCP-XXXX was first recovered in the aftermath of the dissolution of the Soviet Union. During investigations into GRU Division-"P", it was discovered that various documents detailed the location of the storage facility where SCP-XXXX was stored. Mobile Task Force Viktor-12 ("Iron Veil") was deployed to investigate the location.
Upon investigating the area, MTF Viktor-12 came upon a group breaking into the area in an attempt to retrieve SCP-XXXX. They engaged the group and successfully repelled them. After securing the SCP-XXXX instances, they attempted to track down the unknown group but failed to locate them. There were trace amounts of alternative reality energy detected on the outskirts of the city of Kazan, near where SCP-XXXX's storage facility was situated, suggesting the recent use of a Way10 around the area.
During initial containment, several Foundation personnel expressed an uncharacteristically high desire to punch the trigger mechanism of an SCP-XXXX instance. For this reason, all one hundred and thirty one instances of SCP-XXXX were transported to Site-82 in armoured boxes.
Along with the one hundred and thirty one instances of SCP-XXXX, the following letter was discovered with the boxes inside the warehouse.
External Message for: The dudes of this reality11
Dearest Weaponsmiths,
You have placed yourselves on top of our To Punch list.
Prepare to get decked in the face.
Signed, Grand Puncher Keith of Arena-05
Addendum-XXXX-2: Interrogation of PoI-1988
Shortly after containment, a group of individuals found to be part of GoI-2313 "Selachian Punching Centre"12, was found to be trying to access SCP-XXXX's containment area. Containment Procedures have been updated in response to the attempts.
Below is a transcript of a Centre Agent in interrogation being conducted by Agent Asander.
Interview-XXXX-1
Interviewed: Centre Agent, hereafter referred to as "PoI-1988"
Interviewer: Agent Asander
Foreword: PoI-1988 was sedated and placed into a straightjacket in the event that she would break out and harm the other agents.
<Begin Log>
Agent Asander: Wake up, friend. We have much to discuss.
PoI-1988: Where the bloody hell am I?
Agent Asander: I feel like I should say welcome to the Foundation, but I guess you already had that talk, didn't you?
(PoI-1988 struggled against the straightjacket in an attempt to free herself.)
PoI-1988: What the hell do you think you people are doing?! I should deck you in the face for binding a trained professional!
Asander: Please calm down. You're only going to injure yourself. Tell me, what were you doing here?
PoI-1988: Eh? This is where you keep the Selachian Bombs, right?
Asander: You mean (pauses to check the notes regarding SCP-XXXX, pulling out a photo of an SCP-XXXX instant) this, right?
PoI-1988: I knew it! You were the ones who developed the Bombs! I fucking knew it!
(PoI-1988 struggled again, managing to get one arm out of the straitjacket and slamming it down on the desk)
Asander: (To the radio) Prisoner has escaped her bonds. Gonna need someone to bring her under. Now would be a good time!
<End Log>
Closing Statement: PoI-1988 was sedated and administered Class-C amnestics13. The other three interviews yielded minimal further results, amnestics were administered and the subjects were released.
Addendum-XXXX-3: Foundation and Centre Negotiations
After the third attempted break in at Site-8214, the Site-82 Inter-Universe Officer15 asked for the Director of the SPC for a discussion about the usage of SCP-XXXX.
Internal Audio Recording Transcript
In Attendance:
- SPC Grand Puncher Keith Keithson
- SPC Head of Multiple Universal Discussions Dr. Jack Louise
- SPC Master of Ordinance Winston Bishop
- SCP Foundation Regional Director Dir. Oscar Hendricks
- SCP Foundation Director of Security Agent Kurosov Asander
- SCP Foundation Director of Decommissioning Dir. C. Bold16
<Begin Log>
[SCP] Dir. Hendricks: Alright, I just want to say that it is an absolute honour to be in your presence, Grand Puncher… uh, what's your name?
[SPC] Grand Puncher Keith: Keith. Keith Keithson. Now, where the hell are these supposed bombs?
[SCP] Dir. Hendricks: We want to know why you want them so badly. Is it because you wish to use them against us or another reality?
[SPC] Dr. Louise: Well, what makes you think that?
[SCP] Agent Asander: Your guys dislocated one of my people's jaws using a slingshot trying to get to them!17 You seem really keen to get your hands on these weapons!
[SPC] Winston: Perhaps if you just let us take them, we wouldn't have to resort to punching your men!
[SCP] Dir. C. Bold: Okay, lets take this down a peg or two. What do you want?
[SPC] Dr. Louse: We want to destroy these bombs. They would cause a TKO End of the Universe scenario.
[SCP] Agent Asander: … Where do you guys even come up with these things?
[SCP] Dir. C. Bold: What are you proposing?
[SPC] Grand Puncher Keith: Simple: we punch it. Here, in your universe.
[SCP] Agent Asander: What?! That is not happening!
[SPC] Grand Puncher Keith: It's the only way. We cannot just let them be in your hands, Tyson knows what you would do with it. For all we know, you could be manufacturing or withholding more and more of these Weapon-Deviant Selachians!
[SCP] Dir. C. Bold: I can promise you, we are not developing weapons of mass destruction. And we'd certainly wouldn't use it on a friendly alternate reality.
[SPC] Dr. Louse: We already encountered numerous Foundations across the multi-verse. Each one of them were deceitful and dishonest to backstab us, to see us either contained or neutralised. We waged wars to protect ourselves.
[SPC] Grand Puncher Keith: Look, to be honest, you're one of the few willing to sit down and talk with us. In fact, you're one of the few that haven't tried to kill us when we first entered here. But we cannot take you at face value here: either do what we say or we will wage war.
[SCP] Agent Asander: We… We can't really do that. You may have had a bad experience with the Foundation prior to us but we mean it when we say that we will not open fire at your world.
[SPC] Bishop: Let me guess, you got an Ethics Committee here? Well, what would happen if your leaders overrule that and decide to do what they think is right? What if they say that extra-universal travel is bad and any known Ways to other worlds is to be shut down?
[SCP] Dir. Hendricks: How about this: Dir. Bold and his department can look into this matter and investigate into seeing how we can go about this whole ordeal.
[SPC] Dr. Louse: Not so fast there. We wanna assign an agent to your department to make sure there isn't any funny business.
[SCP] Dir. Hendricks: Who do you have in mind?
[SPC] Grand Puncher Keith: He's a guy named Skipper. He is one of the Centre's leading agents and I trust him with my life. He would be an excellent partner for the time being.
[SCP] Dir. C. Bold: I'm fine with that.
[SPC] Dr. Louse: Good! We'll see you in a week.
[SCP] Dir. Hendricks: Wait, what?
[SPC] Grand Puncher Keith: Yep. Either this is resolved by the time we come back, or we will declare this world as a selachian sympathiser reality and thus will be subjugated to being punched and destroyed. Good day gentlemen.
<End Log>
Addendum-XXXX-4: Recovery of PoI-12313
Due to the nature of the SPC and the threat of a Tiamet-scale war occurring, Joint Task Force Viktor-6 ("Jawbreaker")18 proceeded to follow leads into the SCP-XXXX Project. After five days of investigation, a regular, untraced spike in the power system was occurred in Moscow, Russia. Upon further researching this an unmarked GRU bunker was noted to be in use.
JTF Viktor-6 mobilised to investigate the area. During this, PoI-12313 exits the bunker and raised his hands above his head. As JTF Viktor-12 moved into secure him, the bunker caught on fire. It has been assumed that the bunker had a self-destruct sequence initiated. PoI-12313 was brought into Site-82 for questioning. The Russian Government has refused to acknowledge or comment on the unmarked GRU bunker or of its capabilities.
Addendum-XXXX-5: Interview log with PoI-12313
The following is an interview with PoI-12313. This interview was conducted on the sixth day with Dir. C. Bold and the SPC agent "Skipper".
Interview-XXXX-02
Interviewed: PoI-12313Interviewers: Dir. C. Bold and SPC agent Skipper
Foreword: The SPC agent was handcuffed to the table for PoI-12313's protection. PoI-12313 was willing to co-operate with the Foundation in exchange for immunity from Foundation custody.
<Begin Log>
Dir. C. Bold: Alright, tape is rolling. Please state your name, rank, and role in the SCP-XXXX project-
Skipper: Hey! Why am I the one being handcuffed here?
Bold: Because the suspect isn't going to lash out and beat us up. Now, stay there. (To PoI-12313) Please, do as we instructed.
PoI-12313: My name is Fyodor Sokolovsky, I was a commissar of the GRU inter-dimensional weapons department and I helped oversaw the workers of the shark bomba prototypes.
Bold: What was the purpose of the weapon?
PoI-12313: It was built as a way to eradicate other dimensions. While yes, it was… unorthodox, the project was worked out successfully. While other departments worked on weapons to protect the motherland from capitalist pigs like your SCP Foundation, we had to work on creating weapons to protect us from the other dimensional beings - A GRU that could be capitalist in nature, or those fascist Obskuracorps members out there in the multiverse. Those were the bigger threats to mother Russia.
Skipper: Still doesn't explain why you fired it at our world!
PoI-12313: Uh… what? Are you not from the Foundation?
Skipper: (shakes violently in his chair) I'm from the Selachian Punching Centre, jackass! (Guards moved in to keep him in place)
PoI-12313: What?
Bold: What my friend here is trying to say is that one of your bombs was launched into his world and now we have an interdimentional war on the horizon, and it won't just be us who has to deal with the fallout.
PoI-12313: Shit… You mean… we fucked it up? Damn Stalin! There weren't meant to be used yet!
Bold: We need to know how to deactivate the bombs now. Once done, we can hand them over to the Centre as a deal to not destroy our world.
PoI-12313: I don't know.
Skipper: I thought you said you worked on it?
PoI-12313: Yes, but I made sure that the workers duties were carried out. Gave out swift punishments with the whip if they were behind deadlines, carried out summary executions for those who were discovered to be spies. Aside from them, I was in the dark about it all.
Bold: What about its workings? If we show you a picture of the bomb, could you identify a weakness?
PoI-12313: Perhaps.
(Shortly afterwards, an agent enters the room, carrying a folder. They place it on the table and leaves. Dir. C. Bold picks up the folder and places photos of SCP-XXXX in front of PoI-12313.)
Bold: Recognise these?
PoI-12313: Yes, they are the bombs my department worked on. But aside from that, the weapons were made to withstand mostly everything. It was only meant to go off when the nose is touched by either the ground, or by human contact should the bomb not go off properly.
Bold: So this weapon is not meant as a weapon against the Centre?
PoI-12313: We had no reason to make one. However, countries and armies must prepare for worst case scenarios.
Skipper: Just tell us how in Tyson's name we can disarm these bombs, or point us to someone who can?
PoI-12313: I'm afraid I can do neither one. The commissary members on the team shot the workers after the GRU division was shut down. All I know is that, as well as the workers working on it, there were also necromancers and spirit shamans that would work on the bombs-
Bold: Sorry, did you say necromancers and spirit shamans?
PoI-12313: Yeah… why do you ask?
Bold: Thank you for your time, Commissar Sokolovsky.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Dir. C. Bold left the interview room and called the Decommission Department, line 2 for the Office of Exorcism19. Agent B. Jones and the Office mobilised to handle the examination and procedures of Decommissioning SCP-XXXX.
PoI-12313's freedom was allowed following amnestisiation protocols. Centre and Foundation talks about his involvement with the Centre bombing and if he should be handed over to the Centre is currently being negotiated, at time of writing.
Addendum-XXXX-6: Decommissioning form
The following is the proposed form that was handed to the Ethics Committee and the O5 Command.
SCP Object Decommissioning Proposal Form
Item #: SCP-XXXXObject Class: Safe
Head Researcher: Dir. Hendricks
Supporting Personnel*:
- Agent B. Jones - Representing the Office of Exorcism, working under the Decommission Department
- Dir. C. Bold - Representing the Decommission Department
- Dir. Hendricks - Representing the Site-82 inter-dimensional committee
Please check off or fill in the applicable boxes regarding the reasons for submitting your proposal:
☑ Excessively High Risk of Lifted Veil Scenario
☐ Excessive Danger
☐ Ability to Decom. Apollyon-Class Object
☐ Expense
☐ Ethical Concerns Over Necessary Containment
☐ Legal Concerns
☑ High Risk of K-Class Scenario (if so, please state which type(s): BI )
☐ Other (please state):Summary: Since the ultimatum delivered to us by the Selachian Punching Centre, the Decommission Department has been working effortlessly to figure out how to decommission SCP-XXXX. Now that we know that SCP-XXXX is filled with souls of Class-3 spectre entities, the Office of Exorcism have the required materials and resources for a mass exorcism on the one hundred and fifty one bombs. If we do not do this, then we will suffer a Tiamat-level war against the Centre.
*Must be of level 3 clearance or higher.
Shortly after the submission of the proposal, the O5 Council voted in their respective meeting chambers for the decommission of SCP-XXXX. The motion was passed on a 9 to 4 vote.
Upon the seventh day given to the Foundation by the Centre, a mass ritual was carried out in an approved ground by the Office of Exorcism. A spike on the equipment used to detect spiritual energies occurred during the ritual before reaching back to acceptable levels.
After conducting numerous tests and safety checks, Grand Puncher Keith and his staff arrived. Grand Puncher Keith inspected the bomb and confirmed that they were the same ones dropped on his world. He then punched the bomb in its arming mechanism and SCP-XXXX was deemed decommissioned by both the Centre and the Foundation.
The shells of SCP-XXXX were taken back to the Centre's world for analysis, as part of a new deal between the SCP Foundation and the Selachian Punching Centre.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Apolloyn
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation assets and anomalies are to follow Tau-Prime Protocol. Once the Protocol's goals have been achieved, all Foundation sites are to be connected to each other via emergency lines only. Site and Area Directors have complete and total authority over their work space.
Foundation Sites are allowed to give outsiders (if any) access to the site, at the discretion of the Directors of said Site.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the ETK "Extra-terrestrial End of The World" Scenario. In this instance, the anomaly is an
Addendum-01: Origin Point
The following is
NOTICE FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF ANOMALOUS REALITY & TIME ("DART")
Due to the constraints of time and space, it has been deemed impossible to retrieve SPC-2117 from the spacetime continuum. If any group asks about the SPC-2117 project, this is to be denied.
- From Thaddeus Xyank, Head Pugilord of DART
Project #: SPC-2117
Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: SPC-2117 is not used in combatting the selachian threat20. It is instead to be used to travel across the Seas of Time anomaly discovered in the year 2000. Should any Groups to Punch happen to appear in the Seas, SPC-2117 is to remain on stand by until the Group's identity and goal can be confirmed.
Project Component(s): SPC-2117 is a non-anomalous Super Dreadnaught chassis bought from the British Isles SPC Branch. Since its purchase, the DARTS have worked closely with the engineering department to fit SPC-2117 with a prototype engine capable of traveling the Space-Time Anomaly known as the Seas of Time. This engine has been dubbed the "Process Utilization of Nautilic Chronology Heat engine"21.
This engine allows temporal shielding against the Seas of Time anomalous effects and allows it to travel the timestream, as other engines fail once contact with the anomalous waters. The SPC-2117 vessel is to also come stock with experimental Reality Anchors able to allow Centre Agents the chance to swim in the Seas. These devices are henceforth known as SPC-2117-1, as they follow the same properties as SPC-2117.
The crew manning SPC-2117 are to be certified by the Board of Deep Sea Diving and the Clock-Punchers division. Each member must also be trained in the use of a SPC-2117-1. The total crew of SPC-2117 is to be totalled around 100 crew members with enough rations for a three year journey.
PUNCH Augmentation Summary: The SPC-2117 PUNCH Engine was conceived by Doctors Thaddeus Xyank and Rachel Hargrove. The concept is that while travelling through the Seas of Time, the vessel would have suffered from advanced aging due to the heavy amount of tachyon particles. According to the laws of time, if a person were to swim into the Seas and get sent to a specific timeline, there would be no way to free them, otherwise it would create a time paradox.
The PUNCH engine is, in essence, a massive reality anchor that allows the tachyon particles to bounce off of the ship. Meaning that the SPC-2117 vessel would remain in normal time when entering the Seas, activating the shields of PUNCH to evade advanced temporal effects, and exits the Seas with no adverse effects. A clock with a built in calendar system has been placed on the mast to show how far back SPC-2117 has gone.
(For more on the effects of PUNCH, please attend my lectures on the Temporal effects. ~ Dr. Thaddeus Xyank)
Enhancement Summary: As the SPC-2117 is developed, many members of the Centre signed up for the voyage. The following is the recommended amount of crew to be deployed.
- 75 engineers and researchers, to ensure SPC-2117 is maintained.
- 15 security personnel, to protect SPC-2117 during the voyage.
- 10 command staff members, to steer the ship along the time stream.22
- 3 Marine Fighting Teams, for landfall in the different time periods and engage Temporal-Deviant selachians.
- 10 SPC-2970 instances are to be on-board to provide MFT members and engineers help with day-to-day tasks.
Deployment Record: Prior to launch, DART had demanded that they come on board SPC-2117 to enter the anomaly. The following is the letter written by Thaddeus Xyank:
Dear CICOAPOCO23
While working on the engine, we thought that it would be unwise to use experimental technology recklessly and leave it in the hands of untrained crew. This is why I propose my team should come along to see it in action.
Theoretically, it should be able to punch a hole through the Seas of Time and allow us to enter into the past. A few hours tops should be able to allow us to see if the engine is capable of safe passage through the anomaly. If any of you bastards think we can use this to go into the future, then you're wrong. If we use the engine to go forward in time, we're breaking the Time Travel code.
Like yeah, we can travel to the future but then we're breaking all sorts of things, not to mention paradoxes will arise. Good god, I'd rather face down the Cobalt Empress then take on a paradox. So if anyone thinks we can travel to the future, no. Just no.
Yours faithfully,Doctor Thaddeus Xyank
A few days after this letter was sent, Overpunch Command had allowed the DART to join the test mission to ensure SPC-2117 does not fail.
The voyage of SPC-2117 was launched and the vessel headed into the Seas of Time
The following is the recovered diary of a Centre agent, water damage has ruined the front page but the rest was recovered intact. Possibly due to the Seas of Time effects, the only thing wrong with the diary is that the author's name is referred to as A.A. but the other names are left perfectly intact. When A.A. is searched for within the data banks of the SPC logs, there is no reference to A.A.
Diary Entry Log: 21/10/2013:
Dear diary,
Actually, before I kick things off, I'd like to say… I'M A FREAKING TIME TRAVELLER! God! I can't believe Xyank allowed me to come on this mission. This is great! I mean, its just a few hours into the past, but it will be great to experience this. So far, a majority of the crew are on. Got some of them 2970 fellas on here but they can punch a selachian so their good in my book.
Just got to wait till Xyank and his team to come on board and then we can sail into the Seas of Time!
… Okay that was wayyy too overdramatic. Let me try and find something to write here…
Oh yeah, the SPC-2117 captain, Bill, prepared an entire speech for the crew about our grand voyage. I didn't really pay any attention though as it was pretty much "Today is the day we sail across time and space to achieve the Centre's goals," and all that crap.
The main question is: when can I punch a Temporal-Deviant selachian?
Diary Entry Log: 20/10/2013:
Dear diary,
We did it. We crossed the Seas of Time. Of course, we can't meet our past selves because that hasn't happened. Paradox bullshit if you ask me.
We were ordered not to leave the boat for any reason. That said, we saw a huge Great White, just swimming there. We had orders to stay on the ship but… The bastard was right there. In the end we choose to stay on the ship.
Unfortunatly, Xyank got left behind. There was a storm brewing and… Well, Xyank was already looking green before we even set sail, so we had to leave him behind under excuse Beta-Beta.24 Hargrove is still with us though, so at least we got an expert standing by in case the PUNCH engine didn't work.
So our current goal is to locate any Temporal-Deviant selachians and punch those ones, anything short of that is to be ignored. I will say this, the team and I aren't thrilled about those orders. We came here to punch selachians in the face and now we're being ordered NOT to do that?
This is pretty much against our group's goal…
Diary Entry Log: 01/01/2000:
Dear Diary,
We think we might have taken the wrong current when we went back through the anomaly.
So to er… recap. Captains Bill and Ted were discussing about the recent voyage when Hargrove noticed a selachian not documented in our files. We sent an SPC-2970 out to investigate it when we ran into a problem: the selachian destroyed that guy. Like, just touching the skin made SPC-2970 sort of… change.
It swam back into the Seas of Time and we activated the PUNCH engine. We fired a non-lethal harpoon shot at it when we made the wrong turn. We came out to pitch black darkness and bam fireworks happening everywhere. We assumed we just came back to our original time and thought that the fireworks were for us. Turns out it was a New Year's Eve party.
Upside to that, the lads and I had a great drink.
So the next day, we were called into the holding area where Captains Bill and Ted gave us the situation. We're trapped in the past. Can't actively go forward in time so we'd have to just let the currents take us. Captain Ted suggested that this is the work of the Temporal-Deviant selachian that killed that SPC-2970 unit.
We're planning on going back into the Seas. Hopefully we can get out of this madness and go back to home.
Diary Entry: 05/01/1478
We arrived at an unknown port this day. We were only in the Seas for about a week before sailing out again. Only to get rammed by a fucking wooden boat. When we get back to our time, I swear I'm going to kill Xyank for making us do this whirlwind time travel BS!
We got onto dry land and found out we were in Italy. We went around for a while before we realised that no one speaks Italian! So now we have to deal
NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE
SPC-4319 is considered Active but any female25 subjects that come into contact with SPC-4319 are to have undergone Level-1 Type-Green training.
Search, Punch, Conquer
Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: The SPC-4319 team, when not punching selachians, is to spend their time within the Centre's internet relay to perform Operation: Makeover. This Operation is to ensure that SPC-4319 subjects26 understand the Centre's goals via the use of the anomaly.
Project Component(s): SPC-4319 consists of five components: the anomalous members behind the Just Girly Things website.
Their former ability was to change reality for girls to be more "girly". According to the anomaly, it targeted cis-women and bent reality in order for them to remain girly.27 The anomaly also states that it will not target trans-women, due to them not being "true girls".
Its ability now is that the anomaly affects all females of all species28 and is now able to teach all females that punching selachians is a girly thing to do when presented with the home screen of SPC-4319.
SPC-4319 can affect selachians, as stated above, to be girly. Therefore, it is to assume that SPC-4319 has the ability to teach selachians the ideas of the Centre and proceed to punch itself as it realises that it is the enemy.29 However this ability does also turn them into "girly" selachians, meaning that lipstick, painted fins, and a pink dress will anomalously appear on them.
Augmentation Summary: SPC-4319 first came to Centre knowledge when agents Andrea and Chloe were checking on their cellular devices when they were suddenly affected by SPC-4319's effects and tendered their resignation to quit the Centre for not being girly enough.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Since its categorisation and the on-going use of commercial space travel of humanity, SCP-XXXX is to be categorised as off limits on all on-board flight computers. Foundation resources is to patrol around this space with the use of drones and and unmanned shuttles with remote control capabilities.
If any spacecraft with notable life forms is detected, Mobile Task Force Zeta-21 ("Aurora Riders") is to enter the space for search and rescue if they deem that it is possible to recover them. Otherwise, Foundation resources is to activate its long range radio jamming technology to ensure no signal goes beyond their range.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the space located between Sol and Mercury. According to observation posts, SCP-XXXX consists of starships, meteroids and gas clouds formed inside the area. It has also been observed to block radio transmissions into SCP-XXXX but not out. How it does this is unknown but current theories suggest that the gas clouds observed in SCP-XXXX are a key part of this anomaly.
It was first discovered in October 2031, when humanity achieved space flight. During a patrol of Mercury's system, the research vessel that accompanied the patrol group reported system malfunction and insisted that the patrol group goes on ahead. After a 3 months of silence, a burst transmission came through Foundation speakers (see Addendum-XXXX-01) and the anomaly was soon discovered afterwards.
ADDENDUM XXXX.1
BURST TRANSMISSION — 2.10.2031
The following is the recorded transmission that came from SCP-XXXX's area. Note that this document cuts in places due to the bursts of the transmissions.
… Hello?
This is Dr. Jame…. Need help…
The damn crew are dis…
… we have n… we can hea… send help…
Upon receiving this, the directors of Station-19 had authorised an investigation into the area, with the main goal seeking out the researchers of the vessel. MTF Zeta-21 was then assembled with a skeleton crew to help operate their ship.
ADDENDUM XXXX.2
EXPEDITION LOGS — 3.10.2031
Exploration Video Log Transcript
Date: October 3rd, 2031
Exploration Team: MOBILE TASK FORCE ZETA-21
Subject: SCP-XXXX AREA. OBJECTIVE: INVESTIGATE AND RECOVER FOUNDATION ASSETS. MTF ZETA-21 WILL DIVERT INTO THREE TEAMS IN THREE SHUTTLES
SQUAD ALPHA:
Team Lead: Alpha-1 "Sarge"
Team Members: Alpha-2 "Gambit", Alpha-3 "Cupid", Alpha-4 "Karma"
[BEGIN LOG]
Alpha-1: Okay people listen up, we're going into the area now to investigate the last known co-ordinates of our researchers. We are taking the shuttles into the area and leaving our big ship behind in the event that whatever caused this.
We're going in blind so check your blindspots, keep an eye on the sensors, and make sure you got a buddy. I don't want to see anyone pulling some of that gravity non-sense while we're here. Switch to local channels in three, two, one…
A wide series of clicks can be heard on the audio signal, indicating that the other members of MTF Zeta-21 switched communication channels. Alpha Team switches over to their local channel as well.
Alpha-1: Sound off, make sure everything is green, I don't want to go into this if anything is barely safe or else I'm keeping us back here till everyone is safe and secure. Got it people?
Alpha-3: Cupid checking in.
Alpha-2: Gambit, testing.
Alpha-4: Karma here, got an air hose problem but I'm repairing it now.
Alpha-1: Okay, people. We're doing a standard recovery mission. If the researchers can be recovered that's good but our number one priority is data recovery. We should be hitting the target area so be prepared for the wo—
Shuttle halts in flight, causing Alpha-4 to crash into Alpha-2. According to on-board systems during this time, all systems momentarily ceased all function, which caused the gravity controls to be deactivated. Alpha Team floated in the air for thirty seconds before all systems came online, causing Alpha-2 to be on top of Alpha-4.
Alpha-4: Get off of me now!
Alpha-2: Gladly!
Alpha-3: (Gets up from the ground) You guys okay?
Alpha-1: Still here. Still green.
Alpha-2: I'm good.
Alpha-4: I think I still got bad equipment here. Mind if you guys give me a hand?
Alpha-2 and Alpha-3 move to Alpha-4 to check and ensure that her equipment is green to go. Alpha-1 moves to the front of the shuttle to check all systems.
Alpha-1: This is Sarge to any who can read me. Echo Team, do you read me? Bravo Team? Alpha Team to Ship Command, can you hear me?
Static persists during Alpha-1's dialogue. He returns back to the others.
Alpha-1: Alright gang, we haven't had any thing from the others and the AIC isn't being responsive. I think we may be stranded out here. Karma, you and Cupid go and inspect the engines, make sure their functional. Gambit, we're going for a space walk to see if there is any external damage.
Alpha-1 and Alpha-2 prepare themselves for EVA30 while Alpha-3 and Alpha-4 move towards the engine compartment to double check their systems. Alpha-3 and Alpha-4's camera feeds were deactivated manually as they enter the room for unknown reasons. Alpha-1 and Alpha-2 move to the airlock and exit the shuttle five minutes later.
Alpha-2: Alright Sarge, what are we looking for out here? All I see is a bunch of broken down spaceships and meteoroids.
Alpha-1: Any of them ours?
Alpha-2: None as far as I can see. Although I do see some from early flights? Like I think I see a shuttle they'd use back in 2010!
Alpha-1: Something to note then. Alright, focus on our shuttle for now and then we can evaluate where we are and see what needs doing.
Alpha-2: Yes sir. (Turns to inspect the shuttle's exterior as Alpha-1 enters the frame.) Appears we haven't sustained much damage, although our long range sensor appears to have taken a bit of a beating. Could be a while before we repair it and get a full situation report of this whole thing.
Alpha-1: Is it repairable with what we have?
Alpha-2: If we scavenge from the other ships here, yeah. Otherwise, not really.
Alpha-1: Okay, lets get a full lock on what we are dealing with here before we go and start ripping antenna from rovers. I'll keep my eyes out for anything hostile, you go and see what else needs fixing.
[END LOG]
A note from the Ethics Congress of the Foundation to the Interplanetary community of Sol:
We understand that SCP-XXXX is to be decommissioned due to its consumption of all life and materials for our spacecraft. However, at this time, the Foundation does not have the technology nor the resources at the moment to decommission SCP-XXXX.
The moment the Foundation locates the resources needed to decommission SCP-XXXX, it will be done. As of now, current Special Containment Procedures are the most effective means of Containment.
Item #: SCP-3630-J
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3630-J is to have a sign posted on the outside of its door stating how to open the door. This is for both inside and outside the room. In the event that SCP-3630-J does not have this sign or if the door is locked, then on-site rescue teams are to revise this document to see how to open SCP-3630-J in a safe manner.
Description: SCP-3630-J is the former office of Dr. B. Jones. The room itself is non-anomalous except for the door. SCP-3630-J's anomalous effects are triggered when a person is in the office and the door is closed. It is a anti-memetic anomaly that is capable of removing the idea of how to open the door.
It was first discovered in 2010 when Dr. Jones made the phone call to the SCP Helpline about how he was trapped in his office with no way to escape.
Addendum-01: The following is the log between Dr. Jones and Researcher Leyla, who was on Helpline duties that day.
Interviewed: Dr. Jones
Interviewer: Researcher Leyla
Foreword: Call was transferred to Leyla's desk due to experience with handling Dr. Jones in past research ventures.
<Begin Log>
Researcher Leyla: Hello, you have reached the SCP Helpdesk, how may I help you today?
Dr. Jones: HELP ME! I'm trapped in a room!
Researcher Leyla: Jones? Is that you?
Dr. Jones: No, its the other Selachian Punching Cultist that works here. Of course its me! I'm stuck in my office!
Researcher Leyla: Alright, calm down Jones. What happened? Did an anomaly break out?
Dr. Jones: That's the thing, there is none! I don't know what's going on!
Researcher Leyla: Okay! We can get you out of there. Do you see the door?
Dr. Jones: Yeah, I see it. Getting to it isn't the problem, its opening it that is the problem.
Researcher Leyla: What? Isn't it just the same as opening any other door?
Dr. Jones: This one is different. I tried pulling up, down, left, and right. It won't budge!
Researcher Leyla: Listen, when you have an emergency, call this line. Otherwise, leave this line alone!
Dr. Jones: Look, just come down here and you'll see what I mean.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Researcher Leyla moved down to Jones' office only to report that she too cannot open the room. SCP-3630-J was given its classification soon afterwards and MTF Alpha-J ("Doorknockers") was assigned soon afterwards to get Jones out of the room.
Addendum-02: The following is the multiple attempts made by the Foundation in the attempt to get Jones out of the office.
Test-01: Opening the door using non-lethal means.
Method: Pull
Researchers/MTF: Researcher Leyla observing, MTF Alpha-J attempting.
Result: Door was unable to be opened.
Notes It would appear SCP-3630-J will not be opened using conventional methods. We will now employ less conventional means. Also a note has appeared underneath in Jones's handwriting. It states "I already tried that! Let me out already!"
Test-02: Opening the door using non-conventional mean.
Method: Explosives
Researchers/MTF: Researcher Leyla observing, MTF Alpha-J attempting.
Result: Door remained intact, not even a single scratch was made on it.
Notes SCP-3630-J was, again, proving to be more challenging to open then first thought. May have to request for other departments to come break this down. Another note has appeared on the ground stating "Ow! My ears are ringing!"
Test-03: Opening the door using non-conventional means
Method: Donkey pulling door open with rope
Researchers/MTF: Researcher Leyla observing, MTF Alpha-J attempting.
Result: Test was declared a failure.
Notes The donkey attempted to open the door using the rope but was not strong enough. Test was repeated with a pack of donkeys but that, too, failed. Note appeared from underneath the door with the following statement. "Is that donkeys I hear? How did we even get them in here?!"
Test-04: Opening the door using non-conventional means
Method: Thaumaturlogical incantations
Researchers/MTF: Researcher Leyla observing, MTF Alpha-J attempting.
Result: Test was declared a failure.
Notes: Due to the unknown variables with thaumaturgy, the door was transformed into a gateway to hell. An hour later, door reverted back to normal after use of holy water. A note appeared under the door as soon as this went away with the following statement: "Just open my door please… I had to fight off sex demons, blood demons, drug demons… please just get me out of here!"
Test-05: Opening the door using non-conventional means
Method: Great White S[REDACTED]31
Researchers/MTF: Researcher Leyla observing, MTF Alpha-J attempting.
Result: Inconclusive.
Notes: Dr. Jones was asleep during this test. After waiting for several hours, the Great White S[REDACTED] was put back in its respected home. A note underneath appeared stating: "I smelled a Selachian nearby… was there one here?"
Test-20: Opening the door using conventional means.
Method: Push
Researchers/MTF: Anti-memetics Department.
Result: Success
Notes: After numerous attempts of opening SCP-3630-J had failed, the Anti-memetics Department was called in to help out. After ingesting several mnestics, the Department opened the door via push. Dr. Jones was freed soon afterwards while everyone else stated that is was a push door.
To Researcher Leyla,
Hey! Its me again. Um… I don't know how to say how it happened again but I got locked back in that room and need help. Could you maybe send me a copy of SCP-3630-J here? I can't remember how to open the door.
Signed, Dr. B. Jones
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Samurai.png
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samurai#Weapons