BoomerTheStar47_2's Sandbox Page

Introduction

Hi there! I'm BoomerTheStar47_2BoomerTheStar47_2.

This is just a small sandbox page for my ideas now that I'm finally an official SCP member.

05:28:14 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Will someone please help me with coming up with a new idea? I've been gone for six months kinda "lost my spark."
05:28:37 PM <+Cyvstvi> Sure thing.
05:29:03 PM <+Cyvstvi> First thing you gotta think about is whether you want to write something concrete or something abstract.
05:29:25 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Concrete. Others can understand concrete objects that way.
05:29:36 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> At least, better than abstract ones.
05:29:58 PM <+Cyvstvi> Okay
05:30:05 PM <+Cyvstvi> What do you want to write about next.
05:30:31 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Well, I've heard other guides mention trying to put an emotion in a reader…
05:30:46 PM <+Cyvstvi> Usually a good thing to do.
05:30:54 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> I was thinking something along the lines of reassurance, I guess?
05:31:00 PM <+Cyvstvi> Emotions are the linchpin of a good narrative.
05:31:09 PM <+Cyvstvi> So you want to instill a sense of comfort in the reader?
05:31:21 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> That's what I was hoping for
05:31:39 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> But I don't know if that "works" anymore, and if horror would be a better idea.
05:31:53 PM <+Cyvstvi> Comfort works.
05:31:59 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Okay!
05:33:27 PM <+Cyvstvi> Okay, so do you want the object to be something that normally brings comfort or do you want something spooky to be comforting?
05:34:33 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Who said the object had to do that? It just hit me that something ELSE that shows up in the article could serve that role, and the object, let's give an example, is the reason that these good vibes are even needed.
05:34:52 PM <+Cyvstvi> Now you're using your brain.
05:35:53 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> So we're looking for an object that could possibly instill a sense of dread, and a counteracting force to instill comfort.
05:36:08 PM <+Cyvstvi> Yup!
05:36:09 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Okay, maybe we're getting somewhere!
05:36:17 PM <+Cyvstvi> Now you can start being a bit abstract.
05:36:21 PM <+Cyvstvi> Or surreal perhaps.
05:36:24 PM <+Cyvstvi> Think outside the box.
05:37:38 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> So… what things could instill undeniable dread in almost everyone? Should that be in the nature of the object, or the properties of said object?
05:37:45 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Dang, this is getting deep.
05:37:52 PM <+Cyvstvi> Either.
05:38:02 PM <+Cyvstvi> If you can't decide, flip a coin.
05:38:31 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> I'm thinking nature of the normal object, but anomalous in a way that gets the Foundation involved.
05:38:58 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Or maybe anomalous in a way that COMPLIMENTS the existing dread that would already exist!
05:39:06 PM <+Cyvstvi> Could be.
05:39:12 PM <+Cyvstvi> I have a sandbox full of random ideaas.
05:39:17 PM <+Cyvstvi> I then pick one out and expand it.
05:39:20 PM <+Cyvstvi> Here, let me show you.
05:39:25 PM <+Cyvstvi> http://firedawnfolder.wikidot.com/cyvstvi-s-main-sandbox
05:39:30 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Thanks a ton!
05:39:32 PM <+Cyvstvi> The Treasure Box tab is my ideas.
05:39:40 PM <+Cyvstvi> Ideation is where I start using my brain.
05:43:02 PM <+Cyvstvi> It starts with a concrete term and then rapidly expands, usually towards the abstract.
05:43:37 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> So a while ago…
05:44:06 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> I was using the Ideation guide.
05:44:20 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> And it mentioned using a dictionary and random words.
05:44:33 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> One of the words I got from it was a radar.
05:45:21 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> So… here's an idea:
05:45:46 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> A radar that's signaling how close SOME kind of threat is. Not where, but how close.
05:46:05 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> The lack of info creates a NIGHTMARE situation.
05:46:18 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> But JUST enough to induce anxiety
05:46:49 PM <chaucer345> BoomerTheStar47_2 So like a sword of warning?
05:47:01 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> I guess. Never heard of that though
05:49:03 PM <+Cyvstvi> BoomerTheStar47_2: I like that.
05:49:27 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Thanks!
05:49:43 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> I watched a Youtube video on how audio increases FNAF's horror
05:49:59 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> And it mentions that a nightmare scenario is a part of FNAF's core
05:50:23 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> JUST enough info and action for you to have a chance, but not enough for you to feel safe
05:51:56 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Welp. Imma get to note taking. Thanks a TON Cyvstvi!
05:52:04 PM <+Cyvstvi> No worries.

<+Calibri_Bold> BoomerTheStar47_2: I've read your idea post.
08:58:15 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Did I do good?
08:58:55 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Hmm.
08:59:16 PM <+Calibri_Bold> See, the whole story feels rather… distant, I want to say.
08:59:35 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Like, I have nothing to connect to as a reader.
09:00:45 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> So how would one fix this?
09:00:51 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Or can it be fixed?
09:02:06 PM <+Calibri_Bold> It doesn't really focus on anything in particular, and there's nothing to it that really stands out to me conceptually.
09:02:11 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Hmm.
09:03:23 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> So… game over?
09:03:41 PM <+Calibri_Bold> I mean, not necessarily.
09:03:58 PM <+Calibri_Bold> I think the issue is that it just feels underdeveloped.
09:05:14 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Like, you have the concept, the summary of the story, but it's mostly just that.
09:05:37 PM <+Calibri_Bold> I'd recommend focusing on a specific character, and developing a concept from that.
09:05:58 PM <+Calibri_Bold> As it stands, it's mostly just "MTF encounters spooky statue."
09:06:08 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> I try to choose the officer that gets lost.
09:07:51 PM <+Calibri_Bold> BoomerTheStar47_2: Alright, so you need to give the readers a reason to care about this character, and you need to provide a conclusion to his arc that makes reading this feel worthwhile.
09:08:39 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Maybe respecting his squadmates more would be a decent arc…
09:08:53 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Point of view is important, but if I can just replace this guy's point of view with any other, then that means his character isn't memorable.
09:09:04 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> But what would you do for "reason to care about this character?"
09:10:14 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Hmm.
09:10:21 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Imagine this.
09:11:05 PM <+Calibri_Bold> A character, to the reader, is like a toy or game, that I want to sell them on.
09:11:24 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Well, you're trying to sell it.
09:11:31 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Go on…
09:13:35 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Basically, you need to provide development, background, and depth to this character, that will make the reader enjoy reading about this character. Like how a company might try to sell a toy or game by showcasing all the fun time you'll have when using it.
09:13:45 PM <+Calibri_Bold> At some point, the reader will "buy" the character.
09:14:00 PM <+Calibri_Bold> They'll be invested in them.
09:14:19 PM <+Calibri_Bold> But you also need to provide payoff.
09:14:33 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> So I could "sell" them by having them do most of the dialogue and show off the most personality…
09:14:50 PM <+Calibri_Bold> That's a good way to start, yeah.
09:14:51 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Then payoff by improving them as a character in the final escape…
09:14:55 PM <+Calibri_Bold> But!
09:15:04 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Knew there would be a catch
09:15:08 PM <+Calibri_Bold> You also need to give them a setting, other characters, etc.
09:15:32 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> So care about all of them, but have priorities on the main one.
09:15:35 PM <+Calibri_Bold> And they too need to be realistic.
09:15:37 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Right.
09:15:53 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> I think this is stuff that'd be done in the draft, tbh.
09:16:12 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Most of it is, but it's also important to address that conceptually.
09:16:25 PM <+Calibri_Bold> For instance, your elevator pitch is just a description of the anomaly.
09:16:38 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Isn't that what it's supposed to be?
09:16:45 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Sorry if I screwed that up.
09:17:18 PM <+Calibri_Bold> That's part of it, but the elevator pitch is basically your initial pitch. It's the parts of your idea that you think are the absolute most important.
09:17:56 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Okay, so this is less the anomaly description and more of highlighting a would-be article.
09:18:01 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Exactly.
09:18:26 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Of course, the anomaly is important too; it's the vessel by which the SCP article exists in the first place.
09:18:58 PM <+Calibri_Bold> And in the description of your idea, don't just summarize the events as they happen.
09:19:19 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Here's an example.
09:20:48 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Tried to redo the pitch. I can tell it's not perfect, but I have a feeling it's better.
09:24:25 PM <+Calibri_Bold> A bit better, although your description still doesn't provide much context for a particular character. Also, it may be wise to give the officer a name, so that the readers will have someone they know to focus on.
09:24:58 PM <+Calibri_Bold> BoomerTheStar47_2: Would it help if I provided an example of how a pitch can affect a potential reader's perspective?
09:25:06 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Do it!
09:25:17 PM <+Calibri_Bold> "In the Phantom Menace, a group of Separatists has split from the Galactic Republic and declared war. They place a blockade against the planet of Naboo, but are eventually defeated by the combined forces of the two planet's warring factions, along with some additional forces provided by some elite warriors from an ancient religion."
09:25:34 PM <+Calibri_Bold> This is an accurate summary of The Phantom Menace.
09:25:38 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> True
09:25:49 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Now let's see Pitch Mk. II
09:26:36 PM <+Calibri_Bold> However, it doesn't at all tell us anything about the characters or why we should care. The politics and whatnot certainly play a role, but they're not what matters to the viewer.
09:27:03 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> So, what's the other version like?
09:27:22 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> If there's a Don't, then what's the Do?
09:29:28 PM <+Calibri_Bold> "In the Phantom Menace, young Anakin is encountered by a small entourage of knights, protecting a queen from evil forces. One of the knights takes note of Anakin's seemingly mystical skill and mysterious upbringings, and decides to take him in. Anakin soon joins their team, providing assistance where he can, and eventually he helps save the queen and her planet from the invading forces that besieged them.
09:29:43 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Now, this is not a perfect pitch, I just came up with it on the fly.
09:29:52 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> WAY better!
09:30:13 PM <+Calibri_Bold> But it gives us something to latch onto, a character to be invested in.
09:31:04 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Got it
09:31:54 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Basically, this is why a pitch is so important. It reflects what you want to touch on in your writing.
09:32:36 PM <+Calibri_Bold> My advice is to take some time and ponder on what kind of story you want to tell.
09:33:06 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> And when you have a decision?
09:34:07 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Then you rework your pitch, I suppose.
09:34:45 PM <+Calibri_Bold> I will say, don't get too hung up on one idea.
09:34:54 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Nothing is permanent.
09:35:05 PM <+Calibri_Bold> What you have right now might not work well with the story you want to tell.
09:35:50 PM <+Calibri_Bold> If you need to start from scratch, then do so; if you think you can make this idea work, then adjust it accordingly.
09:36:12 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> My general arch is (status quo) to (dire circumstances) to (crisis) to (redemption) to (conclusion)
09:36:30 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Kinda vanilla, but lots of stories are just variations of it.
09:36:39 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Have you ever heard of the Hero's Journey?
09:36:45 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> YES!
09:38:21 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Lots of stories can be told in ways that fit into similar formats.
09:38:53 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Well, thank you for the advice! Can I copy this into my sandbox for reference?
09:38:58 PM <+Calibri_Bold> I like the Hero's Journey because it's particularly relevant for character-driven pieces.
09:39:01 PM <+Calibri_Bold> Yeah.

<PiperMaru> BoomerTheStar47_2 I can't reply because I can't sign in for now, but I do like the concept, I would like to know more about the construct itself
04:56:19 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> So the building?
04:56:58 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> I mean, it's just an abandoned office building that some an-artist repurposed as his workplace.
04:57:11 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Or do you mean after the accident?
04:58:37 PM <PiperMaru> Im talking about the actual concrete guardian itself, what stands out about it?
04:59:26 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> It's less supposed to be some super interesting entity, more just a catalyst for conflict that the Zeta-5 officer overcomes.
05:00:06 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> I mean, the anomaly itself is the spacetime disruption in the building.
05:00:41 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> And the guardian was just a creation from the an-artist that's supposed to keep others from finding out what's going on in here.
05:01:11 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> The objects aren't the source of interest; it's the emotions from the officer.
05:01:28 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> You know what I mean?
05:03:17 PM <PiperMaru> I get what you mean but if you want to avoid detailing the construct and spacetime anomaly itself to focus on the officers account wouldnt a tale make more sense
05:04:21 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> My take is that while SCP articles are TECHNICALLY about the actual object, narrative can still fit in one without serious compromise.
05:05:00 PM <@Riemann> it's fine to handwave the specifics under the rug if they're not important
05:05:06 PM <@Riemann> it just needs to be done believably
05:05:20 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> ^
05:07:04 PM <PiperMaru> I think thats true but even then the SCP's way it traps or puts the MTF agent in danger are still important
05:07:44 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Like the other person just said, "it just needs to be done believably"
05:10:12 PM <PiperMaru> Sure it has to be believable but imo if its just the agent trapped in a vague spacetime anomaly then you shouldn't focus on the anomaly at all and just focus a tale on the trials the agent goes through
05:10:32 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Who said this was only about an anomaly?
05:10:44 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> It's about a story, just told in SCP format.
05:11:02 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Aren't some of the best articles on the site just that?
05:11:53 PM <PiperMaru> Definitely but the story (which is the main focus of many SCPs) is unique because the circumstances the main characters face are the result of the unique effects of the skip
05:12:44 PM <PiperMaru> you only need to briefly describe the skips unique anomalous effects, and then build the story around how they mess with the agent
05:13:05 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Got it! Any last remarks?
05:14:45 PM <PiperMaru> Dont let my criticism fool you this is a really good idea, you might enhance the narrative of the skip by having the environment the agent is trapped in indirectly tell him something about the artist who created it
05:15:36 PM <BoomerTheStar47_2> Well, I intended the creation of the disruption as an accident, but I could still make that work!
05:16:39 PM <PiperMaru> either way you could get a lot out of it imo

General idea: An an-artist working in an abandoned office building accidentally turns their office into Ground Zero of some spacetime spaghetti while working on an anomalous animatronic to guard the place. MTF Zeta-5 "Mole Rats" gets there and destabilizes the area quickly enough, but accidentally loses one of their own members after the building partially collapses in the process. The rest of the discovery log is about this officer's attempts to get out alive, from finding the an-artist's workstation, to the eventual escape by a few meters.

Ideas:

  • Allow a few time-travel shenanigans to emphasize spaceTIME?
  • Keep guardian's inentions implied, but still clear…ish.
    • An-artist is the one person not attacked, because they're the person that made the guardian.
    • Guardian spares officer as they escape, because its purpose is to keep people from seeing what's going on inside, not just kill everyone it sees.
  • ?