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Only-known-picture-of-the-pencil

Item #: SCP-421-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-421-J is currently contained at Site-██. If SCP-421-J escapes, which actually happens more than you think, show a picture of a woman inside of a standard 4.5 in x 10 in plastic pencil container. No more. No less. SCP-421-J prefers that container. SCP-421-J will attack it, since it does not like females. Once it attacks, you close SCP-421-J’s container. Eventually SCP-421-J will realize that it is in a container, and will break out. SCP-421-J will be angry that you fooled it. The chamber needs to be made out of foam, and SCP-421-J’s container needs to be sitting on a chair. Only males can be around it, since it hates females, and only females.

Description: SCP-421-J is a ticonderoga pencil made in 1999. SCP-421-J used to belong to a boy named Noah Homo████. Noah Homo████ one day lost SCP-421-J, and a girl picked it up and used it. SCP-421-J’s tip was broken while she was using it in school. SCP-421-J then used it’s powers of having lead to stab the girl. She died of lead poisoning. SCP-421-J hates females because of that girl. SCP-421-J does however, love going out to the bar with his dudes. He will even attempt to drink a beer or two. He always forgets that all liquids around him evaporates. He is very silly. SCP-421-J likes gay bars the most, since no females are there. One day, SCP-421-J would love to see Noah Homo-█████████ again, but Noah Homo-█████████ died in a drive-by shooting 8 years ago. He still doesn’t know, and none of his friends want to tell him. SCP-421-J’s last attack was two days ago when a female waitress served him at the gay bar. SCP-421-J can actually leave his cell once a week if he’s been a good boy. He needs to be strapped down to a pure titanium wheelchair, since he is not strange enough to break through, although he is a pretty strong boy. He will not be going to the bar this week. He will be sitting in his chair, watching fortnite youtube videos. He does not like fortnite.If SCP-421-J sees anything relating to fortnite he will immediately let out a horrific screech similar to a young boy about the age of 12-13. After that he will go into the nearest corner and cry for the next 3-5 business days. If he is outside he will lay on the ground face flat.

Addendum: SCP-421-J needs to get his tip sharpened once a month, or else he will be so upset to the point where he can cause nuclear fallout. Even though he is a pencil, he has the IQ of Jimmy Neutron and Bill Nye combined.

SCP-421-J is made up of oak wood and lead, but there is a small 2 by 2 by 2 millimeter object only comparable to an atom bomb inside of the eraser. A small amount of rust can be found on the bomb and is labeled on the tip of the bomb “The official dustructinator of most hoes!”

A recent interview with SCP-421-J and D-class member Josephi █████████ followed after a cleaning of the pencil case when SCP-421-J tried to hypnotize D class member Jose ██████ into using his nose as pencil sharpener. All of SCP-421-J attempts failed. The following is a recording of the interview.

Audio log from Interview SCP-421-J:

Interviewer: Male hispanic D-class Josephi █████████
Interviewed: SCP-421-J

<Begin Log>

D-class: God I can’t believe I’m sent to do this shit again, I swear it was only three dogs I buried alive not four, and I get D-class for that?

Dr. █████████: Please take this seriously, we know you’re curious about what goes through this things head too.

D-class: Fine, let’s just get this over with.

[D-class now enters SCP-421-J’s cell and wonders why there is a pencil on a chair]

D-class: Are you sure they are eve-

SCP-421-J: Pedro! You’re back finally!

D-class: Uh, sorry I’m not Pedro. I’m just here for some ques-

SCP-421-J: Oh I see you’re here to interrogate me, huh! Fine I love talking about myself.

D-class: Right, anyway, this shouldn’t take too long. Question one, do you know where you are?

SCP-421-J: What kind of braindead FOOL do you take me for!? Of course I know, nothing less than the most extravagant hotel I’ve ever been! All my things get cleaned at least once a week and I finally get some peace and quiet, aside from the occasional roars of my neighbors. Speaking of which do you know where to file a complaint?

D-class: Sorry no I don’t, but do you know anything about “Your neighbors?”

SCP-421-J: All I know is that they are all just a bunch of loud idiots, I don’t know what they could be doing in their room, sounds like something’s dying in there.

D-class: Alright, now could you explain your hatred for females.

SCP-421-J: How many times do I have to tell you people not to speak of those things. You know what, fine I’ll explain. You seem like a respectable guy you, especially with a spectacular physique like that, no harm in telling you. It all started with the winter of ‘99… her. I refuse to even say her name. She used me, like a slave. And all of her friends, they made fun of me, they tossed me around like tampon. Called me close minded but all of my experiences with, them, have been awful.

D-class: Wow sounds pretty bad. Anyway next question. How were your experiences with Noah?

SCP-421-J: Oh Noah. He was one of the only people that treated me right, hah, get it right, because I’m a pencil. I hate puns. NOAH, I remember the day he saw me in the Walgreens. I wasn’t even for sale, but that didn’t stop him from stealing me. Noah would treat me right. He gave me the best pencil case I ever slept in. He made sure to sharpen me. And at the end of the day after all that writing, he made sure I knew how important I was to him. How I yearn to see his face again.

D-class: Sounds like he treated you better than those girls, eh? Ok last question, can you explain your supreme hatred for Fortnite?

SCP-421-J: D-did you just say fortnite. FORTNITE!

[Unintelligible screaming follows from SCP-421-J, after three minutes he curls up into the corner of the cell and cries for the next four days]

<End log>
…pranked

Partial Test Log:

Preface: Since SCP-421-J despises women, we decided to insert many women into SCP-421-J’s testing cell. But little did he know, that one of them had a big, gurthy, pulsating, satisfying, orgasm causing, spontaneously combusting, MAGNUM ████ (tyrannosaurus wrecks)
Result: SCP-421-J activates and [DATA EXPUNGED]