BraneHed

SCP: Not Your Hero

Item #: SCP XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP XXXX is kept in the standard humanoid containment chamber it appeared in. Only one person is to enter the chamber in which SCP-XXXX is present at any time. SCP-XXXX is to be fed three times a day. SCP-XXXX does not eat. SCP-XXXX has made no attempt to leave it's cell, even when the door is left open. Audio and video recording equipment have since been installed in the cell.

Description: SCP-XXXX appears as a personal hero of whoever views it, while inside the cell. If multiple people are in the cell, they will argue about the true nature of SCP-XXXX, degenerating into violence until only one of them is left alive. SCP-XXXX does not interfere, according to the survivors.

Discovery: SCP-XXXX was discovered in an empty humanoid containment chamber occupied by a custodial staff member who was discovered joking with "Biggy." Upon discovery by a passing guard, he apologized for slacking off on the job, but admitted he was shocked to discover that we had Biggy Smalls in custody. The guard radioed for backup as per SOP when encountering a possible anomaly on-site, drew his firearm, and told the custodian not to move a muscle or say anything.

The guards instructed the custodian to leave the cell, slowly. Upon leaving, he simply asked what happened to Biggie.

Interview Log:

Dr. XXXXXXX: So you went to clean the cell, and noticed Biggie Smalls there before going in?

AXXXX XXXXXXX: Hell no. It wasn't until I went in the cell to clean that Biggie showed up. I know the rules about crazy shit like that, but I never got a chance to meet Biggie. When I was in there, I was 100% certain it was the man himself.

Dr. XXXXXXX: What were you talking about?

AXXXX XXXXXXX: He wanted to talk about you guys, but I wanted to talk about rap. Man's still got it. Said that if Tupac was in the Skip Game, he should be too.

Dr. XXXXXXX: Do you still think it was really him?

AXXXX XXXXXXX: From the second I left the cell I had doubts. You go in there, you tell me what you see.

After the interview, AXXXX XXXXXXX was debriefed regarding any security breaches. Given his clearances and previous incidents highlighting his understanding and loyalty to the work of the foundation, he was reprimanded, assigned to another wing, and awarded a discovery bonus along with the guards involved in the incident.

Testing Logs:

Test 1

1 D Class, D-123896

D-123896 entered the cell, and was surprised. A one sided conversation ensued. At one point he freaked out and began cursing us out. A guard went in to remove him, upon which the guard began talking to SCP-XXXX about what an honor it was to meet him. The guard and D-class disagreed over SCP-XXXX's identity. The disagreement gets hot, at which point the guard pulls out his gun and shoots D-123896. He proceedes to have a conversation with SCP-XXXX until ordered to leave the cell.

The guard, one James Myers, was heard to remark on how he couldn't believe we had Jimmy Hendrix in containment, and that he got to meet him. Only then did he realize that he had killed a man in front of Jimmy Hendrix, and neither party had acknowledged it. James Myers has shown no previous record of violent behavior.

After this test, we had a maintainance worker with Euclid clearance put on some earmuffs after being instructed not to interact with SCP-XXXX. He installed Audio/Visual equipment and left the cell. He asked us why we had his older brother in custody, when he was sure he'd died in a car accident.

We explained that it wasn't his brother. He was told to look at the cell, and then commented on how peculiar that was. He'd been sure his brother was in there. He remarked how growing up, his older brother had always been his hero.

Test 2

1 D-Class, D-762310

D-762310 enters the cell.

D-762310: Wow. Oh wow. No fricking way. John Wayne Gacy, here, in front of me. The killer clown!

D-762310 pauses for a bit, listening to words only he can hear.

D-762310: You Motherfuckers! You said we'd get to go free when this was all done! Fuck You!

D-762310 produces a shank and rushes towards the cell door. The cell is flooded with tear gas and an unconscious D-762310 was removed by a guard.

The guard reported that SCP-XXXX, who he identified as John F Kennedy, was unaffected by the tear gas.

Testing with D-class Personnel was halted. SCP-XXXX was determined to be communicating telepathically. We had another janitor, given the same instructions, clean the cell before one more test. There was one more thing to be confirmed.

Test 3

1 Dr. XXXXXXX

Dr. XXXXXXX enters the chamber

Dr. XXXXXXX: D-dad?

Dr. XXXXXXX pauses.

Dr. XXXXXXX: No. You're not real.

Dr. XXXXXXX swings his hand around a few times.

Dr. XXXXXXX stops, almost forgetting what has transpired.

Dr. XXXXXXX: You know about what we do here, even if you aren't real. You must also know how necessary it is. Tell me, are you proud of me?

Dr. XXXXXXX pauses, then attempts to hug an invisible figure before stopping.

Dr. XXXXXXX: Oh, right.

Dr. XXXXXXX leaves the cell after being instructed to by Researcher Klein

It is the conclusion of the research team that SCP-XXXX is not a person, but rather a mind affecting phenomena. SCP-XXXX does not attempt to leave it's cell because it cannot, nor has it disclosed information regarding foundation activities at any other site. We do not believe SCP-XXXX has a will, body, or identity of it's own.

We left the door open and set up a motion sensor to see what would happen, and nothing did, even after we vacated the area. In spite of the violent behavior that comes to pass as a result of multiple people interacting with SCP-XXXX, it is our recommendation that SCP-XXXX be classed as safe as long as no one interacts with it.

Alternate version/spinoff "The Strawman" is a scarecrow that people associate with an ideology they loathe. probably just an anomalous object not meriting a full scp.

PoI: Agent Gonzo

PoI XXXX-XX "Agent Gonzo"

Yes i'm bringing sexy back

Unidentified defector from the foundation, author quasi-avatar, and hunter s thompson pastiche with the devil's luck.

Writes for Anomalous Estate publications, opinion columnist
Sometime Serpent's hand associate
suspected thaumaturge

Exposes the foundation's dirty laundry

MTF-XXX-XX (Fear and Loathing) has been tasked with his recapture, but no one's sure just who the bastard is or where he is at any given time. Links to Daedalus Conspiracy remain unconfirmed.

Rationale: "Societies are actually quite adaptable, and it usually takes several catastrophes all at once to bring them down. Note how people tend to normalize whatever their circumstances are."

GoI: Daedaelus Conspiracy

A group within the foundation with it's own agenda i haven't decided on yet. Probably closer to the "Old Foundation," willing to use skips without flying too close to the sun as it were. The Insurgency is Icarus in this metaphor, but the Foundation is flying into the ocean. Very cloak and dagger low-to-mid tier stuff, though i imagine they have sympathizers at all levels.

Feel: Fighting a losing war that they can't quite fully lose

"Captured conspirators who don't self terminate deny any links to Three Moons, and violently deny links to yours truly. "We're reformers, not traitors," said one apprehended traitor who was later processed for high-quality recreational amnestics that are used to spice up Dr Alto Clef's love life." - Agent Gonzo, Daedalus Wings, Skip Scoop article, published dd/mm/yyyy

PoI: Jane Bleak

PoI XXXX-XY "Jane Bleak"

Spoiled MC&D Trust fund baby, socialite, and rage fueled nightmare, foil to Agent Gonzo's "champion of the grimy unwashed anomalous masses" bit.

Covers high society/anart events for the Anomalous Estate. Forbidden from promoting MC&D by editorial, but she tries to "help mother out" anyway.

English Accent is fake
Terrifying combatant
kind of a bitch

GoI: The Anomalous Estate

Unidentified GoI that publishes "the truth" about anomalous events/organizations.

Publications it is responsible for include Weird World Weekly (Newspaper) and Skip Scoop (double-plus-secret website)

The foundation handles them similar to how it handles the extreme baseball leauge skip, discrediting them at every turn. Still, they're playing "whack-a-mole" with offices and printers.

Connections with Serpent's Hand remain unverified.

Prometheus Labs Grant Request

An instance of Gonzo submitting a Grant Request to Prometheus Labs involving "massive amounts of hookers and blow."

SCP: Chocolate Starfish Alien

SCP XXXY concept: A radially symmetrical, five pointed being that promotes fifthism in a universal language on it's mission of intergalactic evangelism. Space is the fifth point after all. hahaha.

Broken five-sided ufo contains datalogs that fortunately cannot be translated, and everything in the ship has five sides.

Apprehended during a raid on a southern fifthist meeting. Answers every question by "pleading the fifth," indicating familiarity with earth culture.

Otherwise goes on nonsensical fifthist rants from which attempts to glean information have been mostly unsuccessful.

Eventually starves to death but continues talking as it fails to decompose properly, becoming mummified.

Three moon awoo

I think the way to handle the three moon group is to make them a stifiling nanny-state type group that engages in all sorts of minutae diktat in order to "protect people from themselves." Basically if the Foundation interfered in non-anomalous affairs. "Everything is true and nothing is permitted"
is their mantra.

SCP-XXX-J

[DATA EXPUNGED] all over my [REDACTED]!

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: One copy of "[DATA EXPUNGED] all over my [REDACTED]!" is to be kept in the restricted wing of the Foundation multimedia library. All other copies found are to be acquired and destroyed, which can be done through mundane means.

Description: Consists of a DVD and box with graphic photographs of distaff counterparts of various notorious figures in recent Foundation history. The back reads:

"Features the explosive XXXK-class climax of the naughty rivalry of notorious reality-warping sex-crazed starlet Dr. Queef and the horny mad scientist Dr. Bukakke. Also featuring SCP-69-2: Hard Reptile and the Back Queen! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll expunge your data all over the place! Cum see why this has been called the steamiest SCPorno ever!!"

The DVD presents similar images on the front, and when watched, is a pornographic film satirizing several events in Foundation history. Memetic instances of SCP-XXX can occur in men who watch this movie.

Addendum: "It is of extreme import that we find all copies of this film, or any other films that are part of the SCPorno collection. We need them for… important research." -O5