Per 
Item #: SCP-3452
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3452 is to be kept in Storage Unit Container B-12 in Sector-12, access is allowed to anyone with Level 1 clearance. All playbacks created by SCP-3452 are to be recorded and set aside for analysis at a later time.
Description: SCP-3452 is a DVD-player of an unknown make and model, the serial number appears to have been forcibly scraped off, though it does have the Sony logo on the front. Foundation agents disguised as a hacker group infiltrated Sony, but found no information on any DVD-players remotely similar to SCP-3452. When connected to a TV, any DVD that is played on SCP-3452 plays normally, with the exception that all of the actors and actresses have been replaced by Nicolas Cage. Over [REDACTED] movies have been played on SCP-3452, and with no exception, every character is replaced by Nicolas Cage, saying the same lines and wearing the same clothing as the original actor/actress.
SCP-3452 Experiment Log:
Experiment 3452-1:
Content of Disk: Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)
Result: Mark Hamill has been replaced by a Nicolas Cage who appears to be in his mid-twenties, the age Hamill was at the time of principal photography. Alec Guinness has been replaced by a Nicolas Cage much older than the Hollywood actor as of the present. Darth Vader’s appearance is unchanged, but is voice has taken on what Dr.[REDACTED] called a “Cagey quality”. What happened to Darth Vader also applied to Chewbacca.
Experiment 3452-3:
Content of Disk: Lord of War (2005)
Result: The main character of Yuri Orlov, who is played by Nicolas Cage in the original movie, remains unchanged in this version. The other character went through a similar process to that of the previous experiments, every character is replaced by a version of Nicolas Cage equal in age, weight, and size to the original actor/actress. Research Assistant [REDACTED] wrote down in his notes that the film’s sex scenes were “especially disturbing”.
Experiment 3452-9:
Content of Disk: 12 Years a Slave (2013)
Result: A new phenomenon was discovered during the viewing of this film. All of the slaves in the movie are played by Nicolas Cage, in black face. This was not seen in Lord of War, which contained characters who were originally played by black actors. The leading theory is that the race of these characters were unimportant to the narrative, whereas they are essential in 12 Years a Slave.
Experiment 3452-35:
Content of Disk: Face/Off (1997)
Result: Nicolas Cage still plays everyone in this movie, including John Travolta. Cage has his face removed and replaced by another version of his face. Research Assistant [REDACTED] wrote in his notes that “the movie is somehow even more confusing than the original”. It was decided that no more valuable information could be gained from SCP-3452 after this test. Foundation personal with Level 1 clearance are free to view movies on SCP-3452 so long as they record the altered film and make notes on how it is different from the original movie.
