Dr. Skogland: SCP-XXXX, my-
SCP-XXXX: My name is Shin.
Dr. Skogland: [Annoyed.] …Shin. My name is Dr. Skogland.
SCP-XXXX: Norwegian?
Dr. Skogland: What?
SCP-XXXX: Your last name.
Dr. Skogland: Wh-oh. No, it’s Finnish.
SCP-XXXX: Oh, cool! My last name is Birkeland, so I thought I’d ask.
Dr. Skogland: [Sighs.] Enough. I am not here to make idle conversation with you, Mr. Birkeland.
SCP-XXXX: Just Shin is fine.
Dr. Skogland: [Pointedly, almost cutting SCP-XXXX off.] How long have you had the ability to wield and conjure flame?
SCP-XXXX: God, I don’t know. I guess I haven’t always been able to do it. I couldn’t do it when I was a little kid- I’m not sure what changed, exactly? Maybe I-
Dr. Skogland: Just an age will suffice, Mr. Birkeland.
SCP-XXXX: Jeez, alright, uh, thirteen, maybe?
Dr. Skogland: So it’s been roughly twelve years?
SCP-XXXX: Yeah, something like that.
Dr. Skogland: Was the acquisition spontaneous, or did it happen gradually?
SCP-XXXX: It was sort of gradual, I guess, but it was pretty much stable by the time I was out of high school. It hasn’t changed much since then.
Dr. Skogland: Right. And did anything happen to cause this sudden anomalous ability?
SCP-XXXX: I already told you, I don’t know what changed!
Dr. Skogland: Don’t raise your voice at me.
SCP-XXXX: What? I’m not! I’m totally calm, I just don’t see why you’re asking me things you already know I don’t know the answer to.
Dr. Skogland: It’s procedure. You’ve surely been to a goddamn doctor before, shouldn’t you know that?
SCP-XXXX: I-
Dr. Skogland: It’s not exactly hard to figure out.
SCP-XXXX: Why are you being so rude to me right now?
[A long beat.]
SCP-XXXX: [Notably gentler.] Look, hey- I can understand the weird, stuffy clinical tone thing, but like… This isn’t that. You’re not the first guy with a doctorate to interrogate me. I know what that sounds like.
Dr. Skogland: [Disgruntled. He sighs.] Okay? What’s your point?
SCP-XXXX: Something’s bothering you.
Dr. Skogland: My personal life is none of your concern, Shin.
[A few seconds of silence.]
SCP-XXXX: …Are you okay?
Dr. Skogland: [Sighs again. A beat.] My… boyfriend, broke up with me yesterday.
SCP-XXXX: Boyfriend?
Dr. Skogland: Look, I really don’t care what you have to say about it, alright? If you think a test subject’s opinion can change-
SCP-XXXX: No, no, it’s not- it’s not like that! I don’t have… I don’t have a problem with-
Dr. Skogland: Why would there be a problem with it?
SCP-XXXX: There’s not!
Dr. Skogland: Then why-
SCP-XXXX: It’s just nice, is all.
[Silence.]
Dr. Skogland: …Nice.
SCP-XXXX: Yes! I… I’m, uh, gay, too.
Dr. Skogland: Oh.
SCP-XXXX: So I-
Dr. Skogland: That- I, yeah, that makes… sense, then.
[A beat.]
Dr. Skogland: I apologize for getting defensive.
SCP-XXXX: No, I get it. And, uh… Sorry, about the breakup. That sucks, for him.
Dr. Skogland: [Rushed.] It’s fine. I shouldn’t have let it interfere with my work. We should get back t- what, did you say?
SCP-XXXX: I said that sucks for him?
Dr. Skogland: …One moment.
SCP-XXXX: What? No, stop- put the walkie talkie down, jeez! What did I do?
Dr. Skogland: This is exceedingly common. Sentient subjects will try to gain the trust of their researchers in order to-
SCP-XXXX: What the hell! I’m not trying to, like, pull something, or whatever! I’m just saying that you’re… Well, that, uh…
Dr. Skogland: That I’m what?
SCP-XXXX: You- You know!
[Silence again, this one longer than any of the ones before it.]
Dr. Skogland: [A shift in tone.] …Enlighten me.
SCP-XXXX: [Laughing nervously.] Hey, c-c’mon, don’t- you’re not really gonna make me say something like that out loud, are you?
Dr. Skogland: Why wouldn’t I? This is an interview, after all.
SCP-XXXX: [Whines.] That’s..!
Dr. Skogland: That’s, what?
SCP-XXXX: [Pauses, then sighs.] You’re, y’know. Handsome.
Dr. Skogland: [Quietly.] …You’re flushed, Shin.
SCP-XXXX: You are, too.
Dr. Skogland: Don’t be preposterous.
SCP-XXXX: [Laughing while speaking.] That’s pretty unprofessional, isn’t it?
Dr. Skogland: Sh- Don’t- Hey!
SCP-XXXX: [Getting laughter under control.] Okay, I’m done. I’m done. I swear.
Dr. Skogland: [Sighs.] Are you?
[A pause.]
Dr. Skogland: What could it possibly be now?
SCP-XXXX: Nothing, you just… Sigh a lot. It’s cute.
Dr. Skogland: And you’re calling me unprofessional?
SCP-XXXX: I’m not the doctor here.
Dr. Skogland: Yeah. Most people don’t call doctors that’re interviewing them in a lab setting cute.
SCP-XXXX: Most people don’t have pyrokinesis, and most doctors aren’t young, fit-looking guys in charming, clover-print ties.
Dr. Skogland: [A low snicker.] Charming, huh?
SCP-XXXX: I think so. Where’d you get it?
Dr. Skogland: My grandmother made it for my grandfather.
SCP-XXXX: That’s sweet, getting an heirloom like that passed down to you.
Dr. Skogland: He gave it to me out of spite when they got divorced.
[SCP-XXXX sputters, then laughs. Dr. Skogland chuckles. Roughly half a minute passes this way before SCP-XXXX gets his laughter under control.]
SCP-XXXX: That caught me off-guard!
Dr. Skogland: Yeah. It always does.
SCP-XXXX: You’re funny, Skogland. I like you.
Dr. Skogland: Adam.
SCP-XXXX: What?
Dr. Skogland: It’s… My name is Adam.
SCP-XXXX: Oh.
[A long moment of silence.]
SCP-XXXX: [Breathless.] …You’re flushed again, Adam.
Dr. Skogland: [Breathless.] You are, too.