Bufoh

Info SCP-XXXX: "The Game Show of Your Dreams" by: Bufoh [No author page yet.] run-time error: division by zero% (+0) run-time error: division by zero% (-0) -% (+0) -% (-0)

 

Thanks to REDESERT, DrFullham, and chiifu for your idea criticism, for the greenlights, and for the draft critique. Thank you Jimthevettech, Space_Kaiser, fairydoctor__, cybersqyd, J Habsburg, forbiddenquest, pedagon, agi, and last but not least MichaelWrighting for your draft critique. You are all appreciated! If I forgot anyone, please let me know!

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Translations:

F.A.Q.

Item#: XXXX

Level3

Containment Class:

euclid

Secondary Class:

none

Disruption Class:

keneq

Risk Class:

warning

link to memo

Special Containment Procedures: Special Containment Procedures pending the locating of, and containment of, SCP-XXXX. As of 5/06/2004, SCP-XXXX is at large, and at present, uncontained. When SCP-XXXX is located and contained, procedures shall be drafted.

Description: Description pending the locating of, and containment of, SCP-XXXX. As of 5/06/2004, SCP-XXXX is at large, and at present, uncontained. When SCP-XXXX is located and contained, a description shall be drafted.

Discovery Log: SCP-XXXX is the designation for a phenomena discovered on 5/06/2004 in the town of River’s Edge, home of renowned River’s Edge University, whereby academically accomplished individuals cannot be awakened. These individuals have been determined to be a quasi-coma state. As a precaution, all high-ranking or well learned Foundation personnel have been evacuated from the area. The Foundation suspects that SCP-XXXX is a yet unknown telepathic SCP object, is intelligent, based on its selection of specific individuals having similar educational standings. MTF Psi-3 (Psykillers), who specialize in dealings with telepathic SCP objects, have been deployed to the town of River’s Edge to track down and contain SCP-XXXX.

Each night, more victims are affected, and SCP-XXXX’s range of effect¹ is increasing with each day. Most of these afflicted individuals were successfully located, and put under hospital care while in the coma state. These individuals are otherwise healthy, and no apparent cause for the coma have been determined. It is suspected that not all of the afflicted have been located, and if not located in a timely manner, will succumb to dehydration and expire.

Containment Log: Due to the severity of the situation, senior researcher Dr. Humphries has been flown in to assist MTF Psi-3 in the locating of, and containment, of SCP-XXXX. Dr. Humphries is one of the Foundation’s leading experts in neurology, artificial intelligence, consciousness, sapience, and telepathic SCP objects, and is sufficiently accomplished in these spheres. He has developed many pieces of paratechnology as a result of reverse engineering captured GoI paratech, as well as utilizing his findings from studying various SCP objects.

Dr. Humphries drafted a containment plan proposing the use of his experimental paratechnology dubbed the “Electrotelepathogram (ETG)”². Dr. Humphries selected three coma victims found within the original range of SCP-XXXX’s RoE to be fitted with ETG’s in order to produce the most accurate results. Dr. Humphries modified these devices to find the direction upstream in which the telepathic signal from SCP-XXXX was coming from. Dr. Humphries further modified the three devices to be able to ping each other’s location, thus making it possible to triangulate the location of SCP-XXXX by sensing its location in relation to the three coma victims.

On 5/13/2004 SCP-XXXX was successfully contained. The modified ETG’s were successfully able triangulate its location, leading the MTF Psi-3 team to it; it was found to be squatting in an abandoned residential property. At 3:42 PM MTF Psi-3 breached the property, the sound of which jarred SCP-XXXX awake. It was noted that at 3:42 PM, all SCP-XXXX-X victims were reported to have awakened suddenly and simultaneously. Dr. Humphries suspected that the reason for SCP-XXXX remaining asleep for so many days was because it purposely had wanted to remain undisturbed and left asleep, isolated in the quiet property it had holed itself in.

Following the capture of SCP-XXXX, Dr. Humphries assembled a team of researchers to interview all of the known victims of SCP-XXXX. Following their interviews, they were amnesticized to purge the SCP-XXXX from their memories. Loved ones of the survivors were also amnesticized and given a cover story as to why their loved one was hospitalized, so as to prevent the story from circulating, and others making connections. The Foundation also saw to the forging of autopsy reports and death certificates of those indirectly perishing from the SCP-XXXX event. Dr. Humphries then personally interviewed SCP-XXXX to further learn about it and its properties in the following video log:

+ Show Interview with SCP-XXXX

Interviewee: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Dr. Humphries

<Begin Video Log, [5/20/2004 3:15 AM]>

Dr. Humphries enters SCP-XXXX’s containment cell, and sits down in a chair brought in for the interview.

Dr. Humphries: Good morning, SCP-XXXX. I am Dr. Humphries.

SCP-XXXX: Good morning, hah, good one! Technically true, though it’s the dead of night. You got me there. My name is Kuizzler, by the way. Don’t forget it!

Dr. Humphries: I know that is what you call yourself; however, I am required to call you by your designation, SCP-XXXX. Do I make myself clear?

SCP-XXXX: If you name them, you’ll become attached. Do you not want to get too attached, Humphries old pal? Do you want to dissociate from me? If I have a name yoouull begin to like meee, is that it? Is that why you use an ID for me? Do you not want to connect with mehehe? Because let me tell you, I am funnnnnnn to be around! I’ve run gameshows, you know! I know how to dazzle the crowds. Tell me doctor, is my numeric identifier randomly assigned? Or perhaps it’s based on a sequentially numbered list, implying that there are precisely XXXX-1 other people with funnn properties? And perhaps that number runs higher, XXXX+1 or more! Do tell, do tell, doc!

Dr. Humphries: I am not at liberty to disclose that information to you, SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX: Aww Doctor, secrets, secrets, are no funnn! But your furtive language does tell a tale, does it not? It’s the latter. Heh, a random ID tells no tales, but a sequential list does, doc! There is no reason to hide these numbers from me unless they had meaning! It implies there are othersssss… Do tell me about these other funnn beings, doc! I simply must know! I have to know!

Dr. Humphries: Again, I cannot disclose any such information to you, if indeed such hypothetical information even existed, and it doesn’t. But enough of this idle talk, I have some questions to ask you.

SCP-XXXX: No games?! But games are funnn doc!.. Fine fine fine. Questions can be funnn too! Fire at Will, doc. My name used to be Will. Haha!

Dr. Humphries: No, no games, I need you to focus for me so you can answer some questions. Tell me, how long have you had your “fun” properties?

SCP-XXXX: Are we talking questions about my obvious wit, my expansive memory capacity, my crowd-pleasing charm, or it may just be plain good looks, perhaps?

Dr. Humphries: No. You can start with your dreams.

SCP-XXXX looks quizzically at Dr. Humphries…

SCP-XXXX: Ohhhh, it would be THAT. About that… I noticed I could share my dreams as a child, with my brother, with my mother, with my father. I noticed that I would begin to learn things from them, in that shared dream time. I would question them about the things I learned from them, but I would never mention this to them during my waking moments. But they’d bring it up, ohoho yes they did, all the time; they thought I was a bad omen, in that regard. Why else would I keep showing up in their dreams, huh? So they gave me up to the foster system, that’s just like them! I’d be with a family for a while… That is until they couldn’t take my presence in their dreams any longer, and reassigned. Rinse and repeat. It was funnn! I did this until I was 14, got sick of it, and ran away. I began to discover more about my abilities, refine them, and over the years finally, I hatched a GENIUS plan, indeedie do I did!

Dr. Humphries: That’s a few more details perhaps than I was looking for, but I appreciate your honestly and straightforwardness. Next, I would like to hear more about this plan. Was it this plan of yours we foiled?

SCP-XXXX’s voice takes on a malevolent tone:

SCP-XXXX: Unfortunatelyyyy….. Yessss….. I was going to become the most knowledgeable person on the planet, I was going to be big time, I was going to learn everything known to man! Imagine the power of all that knowledge!! Huhhhh….. But your goons found me somehow… I was soo furioussss! Hehehehhhh… OH OH, but I am definitely being treated well here, all this learning material, all the knowledge I could want, mhmm! I am satisfied… for now…

Dr. Humphries: For now? What do you mean ‘for now’?

SCP-XXXX’s voice returns to its normal tone.

SCP-XXXX: Oh oh ohhh! I mean that I would be most disappointed if you failed to deliver new material, hehehe.

Dr. Humphries: So tell me then, why do you want to gain knowledge, fun facts, and trivia, and why do you want to quiz, and to question?

SCP-XXXX: Let me think… How to put it in a way you can relate to… Let’s say I have an itch, and learning new information, as well as sharing said information, or quizzing others on the information, scratches that itch most satisfactorilyyy…. I know so much, is it not obvious that I would want to quiz others, or tell fun facts? It’s a way to express that information. Or let’s put it this way. I need it. Like how you may need food or water or air; I need to learn, and I need to share. That, and knowledge IS power, heheh, wouldn’t you agree, doc?

Dr. Humphries: Yes, I think the pursuit of knowledge is certainl-

SCP-XXXX interrupts Dr. Humphries.

SCP-XXXX: THAT, and I think I would just DIE of boredom if I didn’t have my knowledge. To me, knowledge is to die for. I really do need it, doc. You get me?

Dr. Humphries: It is considered rude to interrupt someone when speaking. But, I can grasp the importance of these behaviors to your well-being, then. So tell me, is that why your dreams are always the same basic format, being that of a game show? I am curious why you don’t just get their knowledge and then move onto the next subject.

SCP-XXXX’s voice takes on an annoyed tone.

SCP-XXXX: Because, don’t you see doc!? That would be no funnn… Let me tell you this right here, I like to share, doc. I share my knowledge, my trivia, my fun facts, my… prowwwesss, AND I like to have funnn doing it! In the form of a game show! Imagine that! I love game shows! I like to take my time and have MY funnn… I like to take it slowwww, and savorrrrr it. It’s the best way to scratch the itch. Satisfies my cravings that way. Not that I COULDN’T do things your way, doc doc, but it just wouldn’t do, it just… wouldn’t. Scratch. The. Itch!!!

SCP-XXXX’s voice returns to normal.

SCP-XXXX: Annnnd, it’s something to keep them busy while I download their knowledge, in a most sssatistactory and funnn way!

Dr. Humphries: I see. That does makes sense in light of what you have told me. Is there anything else I should know about this?

SCP-XXXX: OH yes sir you bet there is! Did… did you know the common name ‘Daddy Long Legs’ actually designates three different species haha! And yet, the funnn thing about them is, old wives used to have tales that stipulated they were the most poisonous of all spiders, but that their fangs weren’t long enough to penetrate human skin. Can you believe that doc?

Dr. Humphries raises his hands to his face, and slowly drags them down. Then sighs.

Dr. Humphries: That… doesn’t seem to be the answer I was looking for at all-

SCP-XXXX: But, the even more funn thing is, spiders are not even poisonussss! They are actually venomussss! Hehe that’s pretty funny. But that’s not the most funny thing about it, doc. Of the three species that ‘Daddy Long Legs’ designates, only ooooone is actually a spider. The other two are not even spiders at all.

Dr. Humphries face has a slight smile, as he looks away from SCP-XXXX, slowly nodding his head.

Dr. Humphries: Again, SCP-XXXX, it is rude to interrupt people. This isn’t even the question I was asking at all. Can you please just answer my question?

SCP-XXXX: ‘Can you please just answer my question…’ OK Doc, sorry, sorry… Ahem… Let me try to get the voice right…

SCP-XXXX clears its throat, and its voice changes dramatically.

Can you please just answer my fabulous question: Which United States Civil War general is famous for his ‘March to the Sea’ campaign meant to strike a devastating blow at the heart of the Confederate South? Is it, a) Gen. Robert E. Lee, b) Gen. William T. Sherman, c) Gen. Ulysses S. Grant, d) Gen. Thomas ‘Stonewall’ Jackson, or e) Gen. George Custer? You have one minute to make your final answer.

SCP-XXXX stares intently at Dr. Humphries with giddy anticipation…

Dr. Humphries’ tone turns unpleasant. His face has a look of disappointment.

Dr. Humphries: No, no, no! SCP-XXXX, I am asking you a question. You are not asking me a question from one of your silly shows.

His tone returns to normal.

All I wanted to know was if there was any other reason you used the game show format.

SCP-XXXX: Well gee, doc… When you’re a freeeeak like meeee, nuh-nuh-nobody ever wants to be around you. The shows allow me to interact with people in a way I wouldn’t normally be able to. For crying out loud, my family cast me out because they thought I was sent from the done diddly darn devil. OH, do yooou know the devil doc? Is he here, among your ranks, given a numeric ID? Imprisoned in this, not so funnn, steel and concrete, not a wonderland?

Without thinking, Dr. Humphries plainly states:

Dr. Humphries: There is no such thing as SCP-2980…

Dr. Humphries’ eyes widen in realization of his error.

SCP-XXXX jumps up out of its seat and points at Dr. Humphries.

SCP-XXXX: HA! By my estimations doc, that’s a Freudian Slip. Do you know Freud? He was pretty funn. Can Iiii meet the devil?

Dr. Humphries: Ahem… There is no such thing. I misspoke. That is all the questions I have for you for now. Thank you for your time and cooperation.

SCP-XXXX sits back down, and states mockingly:

SCP-XXXX: Oh you are soooo welcome Hummmphrieeees. Not that I had a choice in the matter, I was a captive audience, after all, heheh.

Dr. Humphries appears to be visibly frustrated

Dr. Humphries: This concludes our time. Enjoy the rest of your day, SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX: Oh hohoho! I think I… most definitely will, doc. I most definitely will. You too, Mr. SCP man. Tell SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-2980 I said hi, and I would like to meet them.

Dr. Humphries: There is no such thing, SCP-XXXX. Your number IS a random identifier. You can have all the theories and conjectures you want, but at the end of the day, it’s just you, me, and a couple others like me here. Goodbye and Goodnight. Err, morning…

Dr. Humphries gets up, the guard opens the door and steps aside for him, and then leaves the room.

<End Log, [5/20/2004 3:34 AM]>

Following the above interview of SCP-XXXX, Dr. Humphries has noted the following in an Video Log:

+ Show Post-Containment Log

“It is apparent that SCP-XXXX is egotistical, if not narcissistic. That, and it expresses a form of mania, and is obsessed with trivia, quizzes, knowledge, etc. Yet it’s very intelligent; I had to be very careful and tactful in how I responded to it. Unfortunately, I slipped, a time or too. It was actively trying to manipulate me and get in my head. Too bad I wasn’t asleep, or else it could waltz right into my head, Dr. Humphries chuckles to himself Not funny. Thankfully, based on the info I got from it, and its victims, I believe I have the perfect solution to keep it permanently contained. All my areas of expertise come together to formulate this strategy.

I have been working on a piece of paratechnology that I call a ‘synthetic soul’. This device, paired up with my state of the art Artificial Intelligence construct, is capable of simulating a human consciousness. It’s likely going to need one of the Foundation’s standard super computers, but I am sure this expenditure is justified. I should be able to modify my ETG devices so that SCP-XXXX can detect these consciousnesses. I suspect that I can use this device to trick SCP-XXXX and bait it into thinking that these are actual people. The device should be able to simulate near limitless fake human consciousnesses at a time. I can instruct the AI to scour the internet and compile the sum of all human knowledge, which is no small task to say the least. Then I can assign various fields and disciplines to these simulated consciousnesses for SCP-XXXX to play his game with, and download their knowledge. Then, I can instruct the AI to delete some these simulated instances after two to three days, to simulate their expiration via dehydration, which sadly, SCP-XXXX should be used to.

Since these are not real people, SCP-XXXX’s range will not increase at all, but it will think that it is, since these simulated consciousnesses could also have some distance between them simulated. I shall instruct the AI to calculate the time it would take for…

Dr. Humphries gasps and his eyes widen in realization of what could have happened as a result of the SCP-XXXX event…

… For SCP-XXXX to… cause the eventual extinction of humanity… I could instruct it to generate new consciousnesses at the AoE’s rate of expansion, then have it calculate how many would die off each day, day after day, until all of humanity is killed in my simulation…

Dr. Humphries puts his face into the palms of his open hands, and makes a long sigh.

No… That wouldn’t work, if SCP-XXXX is to be permanently contained, it must always have new ‘minds’ to pry… Perhaps I can instruct the AI to mess with SCP-XXXX’s sense of progression of time while asleep, such that the earth’s population is always at replacement level, allowing there to always be ‘new minds’ for it to capture. Since SCP-XXXX’s biological functions do not deteriorate while asleep, I should be able to keep it permanently in this state for the foreseeable future.”

Following his interview with SCP-XXXX, and reading the report of the other researchers’ findings from the interviews with the victims, Dr. Humphries drafted the following updated Special Containment Procedures and Description:

+ Show Updated Special Containment Procedures

Updated Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a specialized facility, located in the middle of the Sonoran Desert, 100 meters underground to prevent any possibility of noise waking SCP-XXXX up. Its containment room is to be magnetically suspended, such that even an earthquake will be unable to shake it and disrupt operations. The interior of the room is to be lined with state-of-the-art anti-vibration and sound muffling padding. The interior of SCP-XXXX should be undisturbed. Its containment cell is monitored by two guards, rotated every 8 hours.

The Humphries Synthetic Soul Device³ should be powered on and operational, to keep SCP-XXXX in a permanent state of sleep. This specialized facility should have three sources of power to ensure the HSSD is always operational. Besides the Foundations standard fuel cell generators, and backup generators, geothermal power, as well as solar power, are to be utilized to provide backup power to ensure uninterrupted function of the HSSD. The facility should undergo routine maintenance to ensure proper function and prevent deterioration.

Should SCP-XXXX unexpectedly wake, the HSSD will notify one of the guards and will give them a pre-scripted explanation to tell it for where it is, and what is happening to it. This ensures that the illusion SCP-XXXX is under is not broken.

+ Show Updated Description

UPDATED Description: SCP-XXXX appears to be a human male in his late teens, who identifies as “Kuizzler”. It has an obsession for trivia, knowledge, and trivia game shows. It has a very high capacity for learning and accruing information and is confirmed to have eidetic memory. While asleep, SCP-XXXX is capable of oneiric⁴ telepathic behaviors, as well as having no need for sustenance or hydration. It can purposely sleep indefinitely unless awakened by an external force.

SCP-XXXX is capable of lucid dreaming, and can choose the contents of its dream. Its preferred dream is when it hosts a trivia / quiz game show.

SCP-XXXX is capable of assimilating others’ dreams into its own, though they must be within RoE. These individuals are conscripted as contestants for its game show it dreams of. SCP-XXXX prefers to assimilate dreams of contestants of high academic standing, or are otherwise very knowledgeable individuals. The game show follows standard formula for quiz / trivia shows. Following the conclusion of the show, it then seats the contestants down with its live studio audience, the other victims.

Once a part of the audience, contestants become extensions of SCP-XXXX, collectively called SCP-XXXX-X. All instances of SCP-XXXX-X will be unable to awaken as long as SCP-XXXX is asleep, resulting in a coma like state⁵, though they will not share its anomalous life sustenance properties, and will need to be put on life support if affected for prolonged periods of time.

Once held in SCP-XXXX’s show, SCP-XXXX-X instances act as repeaters for its telepathic abilities, extending the RoE. With each SCP-XXXX-X instance added, SCP-XXXX's RoE increases, with the pool of candidates for its next show expanded. Additionally, SCP-XXXX “downloads” the knowledge of its contestants and audience to its own knowledge, increasing its own knowledge.

Footnotes

1. hereafter RoE.

2. Similar to EEG or EKG technology, only modified to monitor signals being input or output to or from external sources, namely telepathic and psionic signals.

3. Hereafter HSSD.

4. That is, pertaining to dreams

5. The subject sleeps in otherwise normal fashion, however it is not possible to awaken them by any means.