Per 
The following article contains some mild NSFW elements.
The slow steady ticking of a distant grandfather clock was the only sound preventing total silence from overrunning Site-19. Junior Researcher Broa stood before the massive titanium blast doors of Gate A, his arms crossed and face stern. In front of him was the entirety of Mobile Task Force Tau-5 ("Samsara"), the immortal cyborg clones stared at the young scientist through the lenses of their gas masks.
“No one’s leaving until we find out who stole my last Butterfinger,” Broa said coldly. A chorus of frustrated groans and complaints erupted from the crowd of MTF operatives. “Oh, I mean it,” Broa continued once the commotion had died down, “we’ll stay here all night if we have to.”
“I bet you it was Kevin,” said the operative named Kevin, his identity hidden behind his mask.
“Who, the fuck, is Kevin?” It was then that a thought struck Broa, “Wait! You all have names?!”
“Of course we got names,” replied one operative.
Broa scratched the back of his head, perplexed. “I just assumed you’re all disposable Montauk fodder for the cause.”
“Love you too, sir.”
“Bite me. Now, where is this ‘Kevin?’”
“Isn’t he the guy that got blown up by the Bismarck?"1 an operative suggested.
Broa groaned. “Well, isn’t that convenient,” he said sarcastically.
“It wasn’t convenient for Kevin,” a voice from the crowd retorted.
“Oh right,” another operative put in, “wasn’t he the guy that slept with my wife too?”
“YOU HAVE WIVES?!” Broa shouted, genuinely surprised.
“Oh yes, some of us have wives, some of us have husbands, and some of us are married to each other.”
“But… your clones.”
In response, someone at the back shouted “It's not gay it's masturbation!”
“Riveting. Now, about my Butterfinger-”
“Kevin did it,” said Kevin.
“Why?” asked one operative.
“He also slept with your wife Frank.”
“Why?”
“Aaaaaannnnnnd he was the one who left the toilet clogged last week.”
There was a long pause. No one really knew what to say. Finally, one MTF operative was able to break the silence.
“Man, fuck Kevin.”
