Buvud's first

SCP-[no number yet but hopefully 4629]

Object class: Safe

Special containment procedures:

On each of the following days:

  • October 30th
  • December 24th
  • The day before Easter
  • The day before the summer solstice

Stationary task force [redacted] must investigate all personnel with level 5 clearance. One member will be acting:

  • (on the day before Halloween)Like the next day is not Halloween, but instead all saints eve, NOTE: if the member confirms that it is Halloween, they just prefer to call it all saints eve, this is fine. NOTE 2: If any of the members appear to simply not be aware of the fact that tomorrow is Halloween, show them a calendar, and if they still refuse to admit that tomorrow is Halloween then the following still applies. If any of the members are fitting these criteria, they must be classified as SCP-4629-05-h-1 until sun up of All saint day (Nov. 1st)
  • (on Dec 24th) Like tomorrow is Christmas, but they refuse to buy presents for anyone unless he specifically asks it. If someone refuses to buy presents, ask them why, if they say any other reason except that only he could convince them to buy presents, or it is not what he would want. When the person who fits this description is found, they are to be classified as SCP-4629-c-1 immediately, however, if they have already been taken to SCP-4629, they will return within the hour, Stationary task force-[redacted] must immediately attempt to cancel out the memetic effects, so far the following have proven to be useless against the memetic effects. SCP-500, SCP-427, normal hypnosis, more experiments pending approval from the 05-council. SCP-343 pending approval at this moment. The STF must interrogate SCP-4629-1-c, now to be classified as SCP-4629-1-1-c, as to what presents they wanted. See experiment logs 4629-c-1, then as soon as SCP-4629-2-c is discovered, see addendum SCP-4629-2, they must be told exactly what SCP-4629-1-1-c was requested. Then, at exactly midnight on Dec. 25th, the STF force must make sure that SCP 4629-2-c is holding all 4 requested gifts in a bag, and is dressed as Santa. At exactly midnight, SCP-4629-2-c will disappear into SCP-4629-c and will return perfectly fine at exactly 12:30. At that point both SCP-4629-1-1-c shall no longer be an SCP, they will be normal faculty. And SCP-4629-c’s threat shall be ended for that year. However, SCP-4629-2-c shall become SCP-4629-2-i, see addendum 4629-2-i.
  • (On the day before Easter)Like all pictures of the Easter bunny are Jesus Christ. And all Easter eggs, are Jesus on the cross. It is unknown what happens inside SCP-4629-e, because either SCP-4629-1-e, the level five-member showing the memetic effects, is insane when they come back, or they tell the foundation straight out lies, this is known because they are simply preposterous. (note: we had to write that due to the memetic effects of SCP-4629-e, we don’t believe these preposterous tales that SCP-4629-1-e tell, but they might be true, but probably not.) The tale is always the same. They claim that they saw SCP-343 upon a cross. Or they thought 343 anyways. They then claim that they saw him rise from the dead. They loudly exclaim that he has risen. No way this could be true.
  • (the day before summer solstice) Like… Well, this one is random. It is never the same as the year before, in the 10-years of recorded activity, it has cycled between obvious ones, and not-obvious ones, even years are obvious, odd are not. However leap years, are especially odd, they are years in which the instance of SCP-4629-1-ss, (summer solstice) act as a particular SCP, even, in rare cases, gaining powers.

Years:

  • 2008: Subject acted as if they were SCP-173, they would only move when no one was looking, even somehow knowing when people were looking through one-way-mirrors or cameras. The subject would attempt to strangle everyone it comes in contact with, however, they were easily subdued, we did detain them. And they were not sent to SCP-4629-ss, fortunately, we detained them.
  • 2009: Subject spelled their name, (We’ll call them John Doe, level-5 clearance required to read full name) like JJoohhnn DDooee. We were just lucky that we required people to write their name on the sign-in sheet when they entered in the morning.
  • 2010: Subject refused to talk to anyone. If anyone attempted to talk to them, they would immediately punch them in the face. The subject was detained and labeled SCP-4629-1-ss about 1 hour into the day.
  • 2011: Refused to come into work on that day. We failed to detain them. We were told later by SCP-4629-1-ss that inside SCP-4629-ss was just a maze, and there were a bunch of beds and benches, they got out, but after about 2 days. He said that he just kept getting lazy
  • 2012: acted as if they were SCP-049, they kept walking around and claiming they could cure mankind. They then proceeded to strangle an STF agent and was detained.
  • 2013: just kept dabbing, refused to stop. We just assumed he was being cringy, however, we did detain him just in case.
  • 2014: Was extremely hyper, would just keep running around. Unfortunately, we failed to detain them. They did not return to tell us if SCP-4629-ss was the same as it was last time. 4629-2-ss did go in that year, but they also did not return.

2015 onwards are redacted for sensitive information. (4629-2-ss experiments in the test log)

Addendum 4629-2-i:

SCP 4629-2 is the faculty member who is promoted to level-5 clearance after SCP-4629-1 is taken,

  • note: if SCP-4629-1 is not taken, then there is no SCP-4629-2. SCP-4629-2 shows very similar memetic effects to that of SCP 4629-1. Usually the exact same memetic effects, or the exact opposite of the effects.

SCP-4629-2 will almost always be taken, the only way to prevent it is to not only detain the subject but also bind them while in the cell.
SCP-4629-2 will go through the exact same version of SCP-4629 as SCP-4629-1, though they may react to it differently.

Test logs 4629-D-2:

date: 6/21/15, Summer solctice.
Approved by 2/3's majority of 05 councils.
D-3498, simply convicted of trespassing on foundation property and insisting that he had no idea where he was, or where he lived, was promoted to level-5 clearance once SCP-4629-1-ss was taken, and was immediately designated as SCP-4629-2-ss, and put in a cell, the following recording is of Researcher Buvud (level-4 clearance) interviewing SCP-4629-2-ss:
Buvud(B): Hello SCP-4629-2-ss
SCP-4629-2-ss(ss): Why am I suddenly classified an SCP and not class-D?
B: That is classified. However, you do have level-5 clearance, until… We'll get into that. You are now classified as SCP-4629-2-ss now because of this. [Reasercher Buvud gives SCP-4629-2-ss the manilla envelope form of SCP-4629-ss]
ss: What is this? [SCP-4629-2-ss begins to open the envalope].
B: Wait! Stop opening it, I know you have the urge to, however, I need you to report what you're currently feeling.
ss: [puts down the SCP-4629-2-ss envelope, and proceeds to pull out an envelope from his pocket, and starts to open that.]
B: D-3498, where did you get that envelope?
ss: Please, call me [redacted]. I got this from my pocket, duh.
B: What is in that envelope?
ss: I want to know, but you won't let me open it.
B: Please do not open another envelope until instructed. Reminder: If you disobey orders, this interview room has 2 armed guards outside begging me to let them in to exterminate you.
ss: You should probably get better guards then [laughs]
B: [into recorder, but not the microphone to the interview room.] note, it appears that the memetic effect this time is that once SCP-4629-2-ss sees the envelope, they really want to open it, nothing unusual there, but until they are allowed, or able to open it, they will keep producing smaller envelopes to open, each with mystery contents, or maybe nothing at all. I feel it is too dangerous to allow this d-class to open these envelopes. I would only feel comfortable after asking the 05-council to run this experiment. [into the microphone into the interview room]
B: I will not call you [redacted], D-3498, please take 5 envelopes from your pocket, and put them on the table, then proceed to open SCP-4629-ss's envelope, then please don the foundation provided helmet.
ss: Ok, will I be set free after this? It's been a month.
B: If you survive this test, we shall set you free.
ss: Thank you. [opens the envelope and then dons the helmet. The two-way mirror suddenly blacks out, however, the helmet D-3498 is wearing has a small indestructible camera on it. ]
B: You now are being recorded. We have a GPS tracker on the camera, so do not worry when you come out if you are not in a place you recognize, we shall retrieve you. Please take out all of the contents of the envelope.
ss: Ok, I will… open the envelope… Ok, I have here… A peanut, a shy guy figurine… I think I can pull off his mask…
B: DO NOT PULL OFF HIS MASK YET.
ss: fine… I have… what is this… An old man? Oww F*ck it burns.
Old man: Hello, my name is Radical Larry!
B: [into the mic but not into interview room]: These SCPs have been classified as SCP-4629-173, 096, and 106, and the mask is 035.
B: [into the room] Please take off the mask now.
ss: Taking off the mask… [screaming can be heard, the screaming sounds like a shy guy from the Mario series. ] Holy sh*t. That face, it's so hideous.
SCP-4629-096: [starts to pelt SCP-4629-2-ss with turnips and continues to scream]
ss: Ahhh. I need to put on this mask quickly, maybe then I'll be safe. [before anyone can tell him not to, ss puts on the mask.]
End of interview, and end of the experiment. SCP-4629-2-ss was not found after that day. The foundation is currently pending termination tests and more tests, but the camera was never recovered either.