Captain Tudmoke's Sandbox
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SCP-227000 and SCP-227000-1, captured on the cusp of an SCP-227000-2 event

Item #: SCP-227000

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-227000 is to be contained in one of █ Foundation-owned sites in █████, Utah and guarded by at least one MCG-class personnel at all times. If SCP-227000-1 is reported within a ██ mile radius of any of these sites, further MCG-class personnel and other members of the Church of [REDACTED] are to be dispatched to the containment site, in order to perform Procedure 110-Acura.1

=SCP-227000-1 is to be closely monitored, particularly in the event of any movements outside of Canada. So far, Protocol ALAM-09 has been successful in limiting the scope of SCP-227000-1’s operations, but the entity’s predisposition for impulsive decision-making has necessitated the institution of several backup protocols by order of the O5 council. (See Incident Reports NE-3D73 and D1-CK for a full overview.) Under no circumstances should SCP-227000-1 be allowed to acquire SCP-227000.

Description: SCP-227000 is a light grey top hat with an inner circumference measuring 59.43 cm and a height of 15.28 cm. The hat shows minimal wear, though it does contain several hairs embedded in the fabric. DNA analysis has confirmed that these hairs belong to the hat's original owner, the entity known as SCP-227000-1. The Foundation learned of SCP-227000’s existence after a video showcasing its effects experienced a spike in popularity in December of 201█. In the video, SCP-227000-1 is shown wearing the hat, which precipitates a string of anomalous effects, collectively known as an SCP-227000-2 event. These effects include:

  • visual desaturation of the area surrounding SCP-227000-1
  • feelings of disorientation and motion sickness in all humans in SCP-227000-1’s vicinity (confirmed by Foundation interview with videographer ████████)
  • humans in SCP-227000-1’s vicinity experiencing an inexplicable fascination with lights, particularly stars
  • appearance of multiple instances of both SCP-227000 and SCP-227000-1, apparently created by SCP-227000 itself

In addition to these abnormalities, SCP-227000 grants SCP-227000-1 the ability to execute a full cognitive takeover of any child it chooses, who in turn can pass the effect on to adults. The video, whose authenticity has been definitively verified by Foundation personnel, depicts a child and his mother speaking with SCP-227000-1’s voice after exposure to an SCP-227000-2 event.

At present, the full scope of SCP-227000’s powers are unknown. Foundation testing with D-class personnel from various backgrounds (including aspiring rappers, people with high loneliness quotients based on their psych evaluations, and individuals from ██████, Saskatchewan) have initiated no perceptible SCP-227000-2 events, but all attempts to contain SCP-227000-1 for further testing have failed. It is possible that SCP-227000-1 is unaware of the powers it possesses, as the entity has at points referred to the aforementioned SCP-227000-2 event as “just being silly”. Regardless, given that both the entity and the object may possess abilities far beyond what the Foundation is currently prepared for, the O5 council has unanimously voted in favor of Keter classification for SCP-227000.

Memorandum 227000-DRKNK

  • I’ve heard rumors of Foundation employees joking about the need for MCG-class personnel to contain SCP-227000. This ends today. Laugh about the Church of [REDACTED] all you want, but they’re the only ones who have a Goblin King contingency plan. Do you really want to have to deal with him yourself, or heaven forbid, [DATA EXPUNGED]? I thought not. I trust you will all respect the importance of our MCG-classes from here on out. - O5-█