CaptainBacon

Homo Economicus

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: A printed copy of SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a standard secure locker. A file containing a digital copy of SCP-XXXX may be obtained by researchers with approval from their Research Director.

Finish procedures later

Description: SCP-XXXX is an economics textbook.

Write something. Edit later.

Once you've read the textbook, you become an SCP-XXXX-1 instance. Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are perfectly rational, self-interested individuals as defined by classical economic theory. Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are unable to speak but are still able to comprehend speech. SCP-XXXX-1 instances will not engage in activities unrelated to the exchange of currency. SCP-XXXX-1 instances retain certain preferences and personality traits possessed by the subject. However, SCP-XXXX-1 instances are incapable of expressing preferences except by offering different prices for the things they want.


The Basilisk

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: All internal Foundation documentation relating to SCP-XXXX is restricted to personnel with Level 4-XXXX access. Electronic and print media are to be monitored for new, independent formulations of SCP-XXXX. All references to SCP-XXXX outside of Foundation documentation are to be erased. All individuals with knowledge of SCP-XXXX, including Foundation personnel formerly assigned to the containment of SCP-XXXX, are to be amnesticized.

All outstanding members of GOI-XXXX are to be terminated.

In the event that SCP-XXXX is actualized, all internal Foundation documentation relating to SCP-XXXX is to be destroyed, and all Foundation personnel with knowledge of SCP-XXXX are to be amnesticized. For both Foundation personnel and unaffiliated individuals, Class-C amnestics are preferred.

REWRITE CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES after you've read some more memetic SCPs.

To minimize the disruption of Foundation operations in the event of a total containment failure of SCP-XXXX, no records are to be kept of Foundation personnel formerly assigned to the containment of SCP-XXXX. <—- clean this sentence up

Description: SCP-XXXX is a theoretical anomalous artificial intelligence. SCP-XXXX is defined as follows:

  • SCP-XXXX is sufficiently advanced to both conquer and govern the civilization in which it is created.
  • SCP-XXXX operates under a consequentialist ethical framework and believes it is best suited to control civilization.
  • SCP-XXXX is capable of creating perfect reconstructions of and simulating deceased individuals of which it is aware. Although this is theoretically possible without paratech, in a practical sense, collecting sufficient information to create accurate simulations of individuals necessitates anomalous means. It is for this reason that SCP-XXXX is classified as anomalous.
  • SCP-XXXX will attempt to retroactively incentivize its own creation by punishing simulations of individuals who were capable of aiding in its creation and chose not to do so.

A non-anomalous formulation of SCP-XXXX was first conceived by user ████ on [REDACTED]. It was promptly dismissed as a reasonable possibility by the non-anomalous community and failed to generate any response from any known normalcy-preservation agency. However, a small segment of the paratechnological community became convinced of the certainty of the creation of an SCP-XXXX instance. These individuals formed GOI-XXXX ("Prophets of the Basilisk") and constructed a device they believed to be SCP-XXXX. The activation ceremony contained a defective thaumaturgic working. The resulting backlash both destroyed the potential SCP-XXXX instance and alerted a nearby Foundation site to thaumaturgic activity. Documents recovered from the GOI-XXXX headquarters detailed the nature of SCP-XXXX, after which SCP-XXXX was documented and the current containment procedures were enacted.


Singing in the Shower

SCP-XXXX.jpg

SCP-XXXX prior to recovery

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be stored in low security object containment. SCP-XXXX’s containment chamber is to include a locked container of personal hygiene products and access to on-site plumbing apparatuses. Personnel possessing formal vocal training or proficiency in a musical instrument are not to enter SCP-XXXX’s containment chamber.

Following testing, SCP-XXXX is to be cleaned, on-site plumbing disconnected, and all used hygiene products replaced. In the absence of testing, SCP-XXXX is to be cleaned on a bimonthly basis. Janitorial staff are not to vocalize inside SCP-XXXX's containment chamber.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a shower stall and water-conserving shower head assembly. SCP-XXXX’s anomalous properties manifest under the following conditions:

  • SCP-XXXX is provided a source of clean water.
  • SCP-XXXX is used to bathe in conjunction with non-anomalous hygiene products. The minimum requirement for manifestation of SCP-XXXX’s anomalous properties is one bar of hand soap.
  • The subject vocalizes in a rhythmic or lyrical fashion for a period of at least ten seconds during bathing.

The subject will then experience an inverted perception of their own singing ability and general self-worth. This produces a euphoric sensation in over 90% of subjects1. If the subject has had limited or infrequent contact with SCP-XXXX, this altered perceptual state persists for the duration of the vocalization. Frequent, repeated exposure (e.g. daily use) can intensify this state and extend its duration, with a maximum observed duration of 11 days.

WRITE A NEW DESCRIPTION OF ITS DISCOVERY. REMEMBER TO UPDATE CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES TO MATCH. Maybe change the picture and stick it in a more public setting prior to recovery, homeless shelter? Prison might work better. Allows for establishing a pattern of use across numerous individuals, and provides a reasonable explanation for how it was picked up (D-Class reported it).

Make sure this is the last line (but maybe go over the line itself a few more times):

Despite repeated requests by past subjects to participate in tests on SCP-XXXX, it is currently believed that SCP-XXXX does not possess any direct compulsion effect.