CaptainBacon
SCP-XXXX.jpg

SCP-XXXX prior to recovery

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be stored in low security object containment at Site-73. SCP-XXXX’s containment chamber is to include a locked container of personal hygiene products and access to on-site plumbing apparatuses. Personnel possessing formal vocal training or proficiency in a musical instrument are not to enter SCP-XXXX’s containment chamber.

Following testing, SCP-XXXX is to be cleaned, on-site plumbing disconnected, and all used hygiene products replaced. In the absence of testing, SCP-XXXX is to be cleaned on a bimonthly basis. Janitorial staff are not to vocalize while cleaning SCP-XXXX.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a shower stall and water-conserving shower head assembly. SCP-XXXX’s anomalous properties manifest when the following conditions are met:

  • SCP-XXXX is provided a source of clean water via plumbing apparatuses.
  • SCP-XXXX is used to bathe in conjunction with non-anomalous hygiene products. The minimum requirement for manifestation of SCP-XXXX’s anomalous properties is one bar of hand soap.
  • The subject vocalizes in a rhythmic or lyrical fashion for a period of at least ten seconds while bathing.

If all of the above conditions are met, the subject experiences an altered perception of their own singing ability and general self-worth inversely related to the level of technical vocal training and singing ability displayed by the subject. This altered perception lasts for the duration of the bathing period if the subject has had limited or infrequent contact with SCP-XXXX. Frequent, repeated exposure to (e.g. daily use of) SCP-XXXX can extend this state, with a maximum observed duration of 11 days.

SCP-XXXX was recovered following the suicide of V███████ B████, opera singer and minor public figure in ███████, Minnesota, who was found in the shower with repeated blunt force trauma to the front of the head. An automated Foundation surveillance program marked the case for further investigation, and follow-up interviews with B████'s vocal coach and personal therapist were considered sufficient to transport SCP-XXXX to a Foundation site, where testing confirmed its anomalous nature.

Note: Approval for use of SCP-XXXX as a therapeutic aid for screened Foundation personnel lacking in musical ability has been denied.

I don’t care if it makes you feel better about being tone deaf, SCP-XXXX is neither safe nor benign, regardless of classification. - Researcher Benson