Coffeechipmunk

NOTE: Final SCP would contain a link to a 2nd fragment, being the current revision in the final product. Not present in Sandbox version.

SCP-XXXX: The Wrong Way

Fragment-1

NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS DEPARTMENT

You are currently reading a previous revision of SCP-XXXX. The current revision of SCP-XXXX can be accessed at the bottom of this revision.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Construction is currently underway to expand Site-██ to contain SCP-XXXX, as it is considered to be immovable from its current position. SCP-XXXX is believed to spread through discussing SCP-XXXX, or considering dangerous situations as harmless, creating a rapid spread of SCP-XXXX-1 instances. Due to Site-██ being within a 100km radius from a nearby population center, it is believed that SCP-XXXX-1 instances from Site-██ may have spread SCP-XXXX to the nearby population.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a cognitohazard that causes anyone who observes it to misjudge dangerous items and situations, perceiving potentially lethal threats as harmless. SCP-XXXX was first found along the exterior wall of Site-██ during a routine security patrol, infecting the entire patrol. Said graffiti is roughly 6x6 meters in size, depicting a slightly incorrect depiction of The Foundation’s logo, with the arrows pointing away from the center rather than towards.

SCP-XXXX-1 refers to those infected with SCP-XXXX. Currently, an estimated 43% of Site-██ are SCP-XXXX-1 instances, with an unknown number of civilian instances. Research into amnestic treatment is currently underway. Testing to determine the extent to which SCP-XXXX-1 instances misjudge dangerous situations are currently underway (See Test Log XXXX.1.24).

Test Log XXXX.1.24

Location: Interrogation Room 18
Subject(s): Researcher Morgan, Researcher Davis, D-6371
Note: For this test, Researcher Davis was instructed to act calm and friendly, while Researcher Morgan was told to be aggressive, and given a firearm containing blank rounds. D-6371 was believed to be an SCP-XXXX-1 instance.

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D-6371 sits handcuffed to a table before Researcher Morgan and Davis enter the room.
Morgan: Hello D-6371, sorry for the delay. I hope you haven’t had to wait for too long.
D-6371: Yeah doc, it’s been great. I love being chained to a table for two hours for no fuckin’ reason. Couldn’t be better.
Researcher Davis would pull a chair up to the table, sitting across from D-6371.
Davis: Hey man, I get it. We had something come up, but I had to practically drag Researcher Morgan by the collar so we wouldn’t be late.
Researcher Morgan would place himself between the two, at the edge of the table.
Davis: Can we get you anything? A glass of water, something to eat, some spiders?
D-6371: … I’m alright, thank you. I don’t really understand why I’m here, was told you all had a test for me? But so far, nothing has really happened.
Researcher Morgan would slam his fists on the table, causing D-6371 to jump a small amount.
Morgan: The only thing you’re testing right now is my damn patience, D-6371. If you keep acting like this, we can keep you locked in here for as long as you’d like.
D-6371 would get visibly angered by Researcher Morgan’s actions, looking away from Researcher Morgan.
D-6371: Know what? Fuck this. Just bring me back to my cell, I don’t have to deal with this shit.
Morgan: You know what? You’re not even worth the trouble of this test. I say we just wrap this test up real quick.
At this point, Researcher Morgan pulls a semi-automatic pistol out of his labcoat, aiming it at D-6371, who just raises an eyebrow at Researcher Morgan.
D-6371: Uh… Should I be scared? I don’t, I’m not sure what you’re doing here. Usually in “Good Cop, Bad Cop”, the bad cop is threatening.
Researcher Morgan, as instructed, would grab D-6371 and place the firearm under his chin.
Morgan: How’s this, huh? Scary enough for you? Feeling threatened, like you might die right now?
Davis: Woah, Morgan! He’s no use to us dead. Let’s just hang on a - Hey wait, isn’t this thing a Keter? Shouldn’t we be more careful?
Morgan: Wait, what did you call it? It’s Keter, not Keter.
Davis: Are you joking? It’s Hebrew!

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The test quickly devolved into a heated debate between Researcher Morgan and Davis, requiring them to be escorted out of the testing room.

NEXT ITERATION →

Fragment-2

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in Storage Room-███, covered in a thick, black fabric. Access to Storage Room-███ requires permission from Head Researcher ██████. Existing SCP-XXXX-1 instances are currently being treated with amnestics.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a piece of graffiti roughly 6x6 meters in size, depicting a slightly incorrect depiction of The Foundation’s logo, with the arrows pointing away from the center rather than towards. It was originally located along the exterior wall of Site-██, before being removed and moved to its current location, Storage Room-███.

SCP-XXXX-1 instances are created when a specific demographic views SCP-XXXX. Those affected must have both of the following traits:

• A current or past employee of The Foundation
• Considers themselves loyal to The Foundation

Upon becoming an SCP-XXXX-1 instance, the following symptoms have been observed:

• The belief that SCP-XXXX is indestructible, and cannot be removed from its position.
• An urge to show SCP-XXXX-1 susceptible individuals a photo of SCP-XXXX, either in person or on their phone
• The perception of harmless items, scenarios, and SCP’s to be dangerous and deadly
• The belief that SCP-XXXX-1 instances perceived dangerous items and scenarios to be harmless
• A radical belief that one pronunciation of Keter is correct, and other pronunciations are wrong, often getting into heated arguments with other SCP-XXXX-1 instances over the pronunciation, leading to violence in some cases.

The true effect of SCP-XXXX was discovered when Head Researcher ██████ requested assistance from an acquaintance from the Global Occult Coalition, Dr. ████████. Upon watching Test Log XXXX.1.24, Dr. ████████ noticed that the firearm wielded by Researcher Morgan was actually a water pistol.

Upon further investigation of SCP-XXXX, it was found to have braille around the edge of the logo. When the resulting text was put through a cipher using the keyword “KETER”, the phrase “Are We Cool Yet?” was found.

This was an absolute fucking embarrassment. My site was a hell hole for weeks, arguing over how to pronounce a stupid word, revamping safe containment procedures to be fit for more dangerous SCPs. We spent twenty million to contain a fucking Jenga set! All it has to do is sit in a locker, and now it has motion sensors, cameras, seismic sensors, and it wasn’t the only one. This anartist prank has cost us severely and made us look like fools. Let us be more careful net time. -Head Researcher ██████

Addendum XXXX.2
Due to the demographic vulnerable to becoming SCP-XXXX-1 instances, research into updating object class to Thaumiel is undergoing. See Test Log XXXX.2.1 for further information.

Test Log XXXX.2.1

Location: Storage Room-███
Subjects: Researcher Brown, Security Officer Garcia, Researcher ████
Note: Researcher ████, previously located at a different site, was believed to be a member of Chaos Insurgency leading to this test. Researcher ████ was transported to Site-██ for testing purposes. Researcher ████ was told to enter Storage Room-███, observe SCP-XXXX under the cloth, and then return to Researcher Brown and Security Officer Garcia who were waiting outside the room.

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████: Well, that was… Some cool graffiti, I suppose. Not sure why it was so important.
Brown: That’s what we’re trying to determine. We’re having a hard time determining the object class. What do you think, safe? Euclid? Keter¹?
████: Uh, safe probably. You just kinda have it under a huge piece of fabric, probably not an issue.
Garcia: See? I told you. Definitely not Keter².
████: Not unless there’s something I’m missing. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some work to do.

Researcher ████ was detained after testing and was found to contain Chaos Insurgency communication devices. Researcher ████ is awaiting termination.

Footnotes

1. Pronounced “keṯer”.

2. Pronounced “kēter”.