Per 
- Dumb gthing I probably won't finish
- CA EXEMPT DEATH
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- INCIDENT REPORT X-1-S23 LATE REGISTRATION
- ATLiens
- Datsue-Ba
- GOCBOT
- THE CATHEDRAL
- 2deep4u
- HF Dummie rewrite
- code for the thingies
- corbenic thingy???
Item: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Zone-XXXX (A 200 Kilometers area around the radiation zone created by SCP-XXXX-A is to be blocked off to the public under the guise of the area being government property.The Foundation has also received permission from the Russian Federation to create and enforce a no-fly-zone similar in size to the 200 KM no go zone. All satellites are to ignore SCP-XXXX and are forbidden from capturing photos of it. In the instance of SCP-XXXX under going a Rasshireniye event, the no go zone and no-fly-zone are to be expanded by 20 Kilometers.
All personal who are to enter Zone-XXXX must show proof that they were born before 1983
All instances of SCP-XXXX-A are to be recovered and brought in for autopsy and identified. If an instance of SCP-XXXX-A is alive, it is to be brought in for questioning it is to be terminated on site.
Following Incident XXXX-3, All acess to SCP-XXXX-Prime is forbidden outside of O5 permission. All individuals who wish to enter SCP-XXXX-Prime must follow these guidelines
Individuals who are to access SCP-XXXX-Prime are to match these guidelines
1. The individual must be at least 27 years old and from Russia, Ukraine, Poland or Belarus
2. They are to have been with the foundation for at least 5 years
3. They are to be handpicked by me, 05-3, or O5-9
Additionally, I request that all expeditions are to be done in groups of at least 4. Anyone found organizing an expedition to SCP-XXXX-Prime is to either be terminated or demoted to D-Class immediately. -05-4
Description: SCP-XXXX is a nuclear explosion, similar to that caused of a Tsar Bomba, located near the city of ■■■■■■■■■■■ in Russia. SCP-XXXX's main anomalous property is that it's fire ball has not diminished since ■■/■/1983. SCP-XXXX also has a temporal anomaly as any object or biological lifeform not of Russian, Ukrainian or Belorussian in origin is unable to enter a 25 Kilometer radius of the Thermal radiation radius of SCP-XXXX.
SCP-XXXX-A refers to humanoid entities who emerge from SCP-XXXX. As of now, there is no known set pattern for their emergencies Due to the circumstances of their emergence, most instances of SCP-XXXX-A do not survive for longer than 5 minutes and die from severe dehydration, radiation poisoning or fatal burns. On rare occasions, instances of SCP-XXXX-A have survived for longer than 5 minutes, with one known instance surviving for 2 months. All surviving instances of SCP-XXXX-A have been shown to be fluent in Russian, Ukrainian and Polish and on rare occasions, Chechen and Kazakh. It is also common for instances of SCP-XXXX-A to also have unnecessary body parts on their anatomy such as an extra arm on emerging from their abdominal region or several extra fingers on each hand.
SCP-XXXX-Prime is in reference to an alternate dimmension housed in the center of SCP-XXXX's explosion. SCP-XXXX-Prime appears to be a recreation of the city of Moscow and
Item#: SCP-3819
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3819 is to be kept at Site-133 in a climate-controlled item storage locker. The temperature in the locker is to be kept around 23° Celsius. Instances of SCP-3819-A are to be terminated upon completion of testing with SCP-3819. All tests with SCP-3819 are to be done on Track-55
Description: SCP-3819 is a 2010-20██ “Empire Gold” New York license plate reading BA█-██77. SCP-3819 can be attached to any locomotive as long as it has wheels.1 When an attempt is made to attach SCP-3819 to a vehicle that does not have a spot for license plates, SCP-3819 will engrave itself the area where it is attempting to be attached and anomalously connect itself.
When a vehicle (hereafter referred to as the subject) with SCP-3819 is started up, SCP-3819-A will manifest and begin to chase after the subject. SCP-3819-A is a physically anomalous humanoid entity whose appearance matches a police officer. Instances of SCP-3819-A emerge spontaneously in locations nearby the subject. Analysis of instances of SCP-3819-A have shown that are missing their brains and hearts. DNA analysis of SCP-3819-A have not matched any known individual living or dead.
In pursuits of the subject, SCP-3819-A instances will drive police vehicles known as SCP-3819-B. Instances of SCP-3819-B appear to be able to preform at levels higher than standard police vehicles as some instances of SCP-3819-B have speeds that are able to break the sound barrier. SCP-3819-B is indestructible as all destruction tests have been unsuccessful.2
The appearance of SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B changes depending on the vehicle that SCP-3819 is attached to. For instance, if SCP-3819 attached to a Ford Mustang, (an American car) American police officers will chase down the subject in American police cruisers and interceptors. SCP-3819-A will use standard police procedures to chase down the subject matching with the origin of the instances' appearance. For example, American instances of SCP-3819-A have been observed to use techniques that standard American police officers use such as the use of Road Spikes, the “PIT maneuver”3 and calling for backup. There appears to be no limit to how many instances of SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B can manifest during the pursuit of the subject as during testing, 88 police cruisers have been seen chasing down the subject. If at any point SCP-3819 falls off the vehicle during a pursuit, all instances of SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B will demanifest.
When an instance of SCP-3819-A catches up to the driver of the subject, the instance will leave SCP-3819-B, pull the driver of the subject out and either arrest the driver or shoot the driver with a Glock 22 pistol. If the subject is arrested, the instance of SCP-3819-A will take the subject to the appropriate police station where they will go through standard arrest procedures. Non anomalous police officers will cooperate with the instance of SCP-3819-A in the arrest of the driver as if the instance of SCP-3819-A is a standard police officer. After the subject is arrested, SCP-3819-A will return to SCP-3819-B and drive behind a nearby building before demanifesting.
Discovery: SCP-3819 came to Foundation attention on 9/9/2017 when several instances of SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B appearing to be German police officers were seen attempting to arrest right-wing German politician Alice Weidel in Munich, Germany despite the fact that Weidel had committed nothing of suspicion. Weidel was seen driving around in a 2015 BMW M4 for 2 minutes before SCP-3819 fell off and the instances of SCP-3819-A demanifested.
Review of the security footage outside of the hotel Weidel was staying at revealed that known anarchist Herman Makhkin had attached SCP-3819 to the back of Weidel's BMW with █████ brand glue three minutes before Weidel left the hotel and entered her car. Makhkin was tracked and taken into foundation custody. Weidel and all witnesses were given Class-B amnestics.
Addendum 1: SCP-3819 testing log: Following the discovery and containment of SCP-3819. Dr. Gavin McIntyre suggested that testing should take place to determine its affects. Testing was approved by Site-133 Director and was to use Track-55 (A former testing ground for SCP-████ before it was neutralized in a breach of SCP-████) for testing.
| Vehicle | Purpose | Results | Additional Notes |
| 2018 Ford Mustang GT500 | Initial testing of SCP-3819. | D-3819-1 attached SCP-3819 to the Ford Mustang and started it up. SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B imitating American police officers spawned and chased D-3819-1 for 15 minutes before D-3819-1 crashed into a wall on Track-55 which caused SCP-3819 to fall off and cause SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B to demanifest. D-3819-1 was then treated for a broken arm and a fractured rib cage. | Strange. Those were not the German police officers that chased Weidel. Let's try using the same vehicle she was driving. -Dr. McIntyre |
| 2015 BMW M4 | To determine if the vehicle SCP-3819 is attached to changes the appearance of SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B | D-3819-2 attaches SCP-3819 to the BMW M4 and starts it up before SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B imitating German police officers manifest and give chase to D-3819-2. D-3819-2 is chased for 22 minutes before instances of SCP-3819-A catch up to him and terminate him. SCP-3819 then removed from the BMW M4. | So it looks like the appearances of instances of SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B are determined by the car it is attached to. Let's have one more test to determine if this is true -Dr. McIntyre |
| 1998 Toyota Supra. | Same as test 2. | D-3819-3 attaches SCP-3819 to the Supra before starting it up and being chased by SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B. The appearances of SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B match those of Japanese police officers. D-3819-3 is chased for 7 minutes before crashing into a light post that was on Track-55. D-3819-3 terminated in crash due to shards of glass from the windshield cutting his throat. SCP-3819 was then removed and SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B demanifest. | There goes my €50 Euros on a stupid car bet. -Agent Forelli |
| American Conestoga Wagon | To determine what SCP-3819 can and cannot attach to. | Two Foundation animal specialists bring 3 Oxen on to Track-55 for testing. D-3819-4 attaches the Oxen to the wagon while D-3819-5 attempts to attach SCP-3819 to the wagon. At first, D-3819-5 is unsuccessful before SCP-3819 begins to carve away at the wood of the wagon and attaches itself on it. D-3819-5 backs away before asking a nearby researcher what to do. The researcher tells D-3819-5 to continue. Around this time, D-3819-4 has finished attaching the Oxen to the wagon. D-3819-5 and D-3819-4 enter the wagon and start moving before instances of SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B manifest. SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B resembles American police officers. D-3819-4 and D-3819-5 attempt to ride away from SCP-3819-A before the oxen are hit by an instance of SCP-3819-B. Another instance of SCP-3819-B crashes into the wagon causing SCP-3819 to fall off and all instances of SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B to demanifest. | I think as long as something has wheels, SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B will manifest. Let's try something else. -Dr. McIntyre |
| Mikoyan MiG-35 | Same as test 4 | D-3819-4 attaches SCP-3819 to the MiG-35 and enters it. Russian instances of SCP-3819-A manifest and attempt to shoot the MiG-35. D-3819-4 attempts to take off but crashes into nearby trees near Site-133. D-3819-4 is terminated in the resulting crash | Who's dumb idea was it to let a D-Class fly a fighter Jet? -Dr. McIntyre | Yours -Dr. Beaumont |
| 2006 Chevy Silverado SS with the tires removed | To see if SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B instances spawn when a vehicle has its tires removed | D-3819-5 attached SCP-3819 to the Silverado and was instructed to enter it. No instances of SCP-3819-A or SCP-3819-B manifested. | Did one of you pencil-necks take my truck? -Agent Lashely |
| 2007 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor | To determine the actions SCP-3819-A will take if SCP-3819 is attached to a police vehicle | D-3819-5 attached SCP-3819 to the Crown Victoria and started it up. SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B instances manifested and began to give chase to D-3819-5. D-3819-5 was chased for 7 minutes before manually exiting his vehicle and attempting to exit Track-55 manually. An instance of SCP-3819-B followed close behind D-3819-5 and broke one of the railings on Track-55. Agent Forelli followed D-3819-5 and terminated him while Agent Rio proceeded to remove SCP-3819 from the vehicle. All instances of SCP-3819-A and SCP-3819-B proceeded to demanifest. | I'm not going to be held accountable for damage to Track-55. //- Dr McIntyre. //Yes you are. - Site-133 Director Russell ████████ |
Addendum 2: Herman Makhkin interview log: Around the time of initial testing of SCP-3819, Herman Makhkin was interviewed to determine the source of SCP-3819. The following is a transcript of the interview that took place.4
Interviewed: Herman Makhkin
Interviewer: Agent Stroheim
Foreword: Interview took place 5 days following the initial discovery of SCP-3819 when agents raided Makhkin's house after discovering that he was the source of the anomaly.
Begin Log
Stroheim: Good afternoon Mr. Makhkin, would you like a glass of water?
Makhkin: No, I am fine. Let's get this over with.
Stroheim: I see. So, when did you get your hands on that license plate you used on Weisel's car?
Makhkin: I went to a Marxist conference back in late October to discuss what communist and Anarchist will do during the presidency of that capitalist swine Donald Trump-
Stroheim: Sorry to interject, but Donald Trump was not president yet, how did you know he became president?
Makhkin: We knew he was gonna win, he was choice of the Bourgeois.
Stroheim: writing on clipboard I see, please continue
Makhkin: Near the end of the conference we were discussing what we would do if the capitalists started to use one of their groups like the Global Occult Coalition to start establishing full control.
Stroheim: Excuse me, but how do you know about the Global Occult Coalition?
Makhkin: An ally of ours happens to have some friends on the inside.
Stroheim is seen writing on clipboard again
I see, I see, continue.
Makhkin: So the host of the conference pulled out a bag and started handing out items. At first, it was just guns and some copies of the Anarchist Cookbook, but he told me and some American to come to him. They said that they knew me and the American quite well and that they had a special plan for me. He gave me that license plate and the American a lunchbox along with a little handbook and told me to keep it safe and use it on any Neo-Fascist or Capitalist swine you plan to take out.
Stroheim: Stroheim writes on clipboard
“Ok. So what lead you to using the license plate on Weidel?"
Makhkin: Fascism is coming back. You may think we killed it off in the 40s, but it is. We've seen it in America and now it's coming back to Europe. Weidel is the embodiment of that. Weidel was going to bring it back. So when I realized that she was coming by where I lived, I knew this was my chance to give her what was coming to her.
Stroheim: And that was by putting that license plate on her car?
Makhkin: Exactly!
Stroheim: But why would you use that on her as compared to just shooting her?
Makhkin: If she just got shot, somebody would suspect an assassination. But if she was arrested by the police or if she got in to a car crash, nobody would expect it.
Stroheim: Agent Stroheim rubs his chin before writing down on his clipboard Alright, one last question, who or what is that "they" you were referring to earlier?
Makhkin: Why would I tell you?
Stroheim: Because I asked you to.
Makhkin: And I refuse. This Interview is over. Goodbye.
Makhkin stands up and quickly walks out of the room before being apprehended by two nearby agents and tranquilized.
End Log
Closing Statement: To prevent the possibility of Herman Makhkin causing an informational breach, Makhkin was transferred to Site-177 where further questioning is currently taking place.
NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION
Due to this page's history, several iterations have been recovered. All have been cleared for viewing by any personnel Level 2 or higher. All text differing from the previous iterations, except for the current one, have been highlighted in blue
— Maria Jones, Director, RAISA
The Bronx high school of science. One of the first known reports of SCP-X
Item #: SCP-X
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: All high schools in the Bronx borough of New York City are to be monitored on every Friday for SCP-X events. When an SCP-X event occurs, a Foundation agent is to be dispatched to the instance of SCP-X-A and amnesticize all witnesses and students.
Description: SCP-X is an anomalous phenomenon affecting random high schools (hereafter refered to as SCP-X-A) in the Bronx borough of New York City. SCP-X events consists of time slowing down to a complete stop inside of SCP-X-A while time continues as normal outside of it. Students inside of SCP-X-A appear to be unaffected by SCP-X, however staff members and teachers are affected with their movements slowing down and eventually stopping. Inside of SCP-X-A it will take 30 minutes before time stops completely.5 An SCP-X event can be canceled if an individual outside of SCP-X-A steps inside. When an SCP-X event ends, all teachers and staff who were affected by it seem to not remember the event and show skepticism to anyone who talks about it
Addendum 1: On 13/2/2026 an Extranormal Event (EE-733214) occured within the Eleanor Roosevelt High School in Manhattan. Due to this events similarity and proximity to SCP-X, the Manhattan borough is to be monitored for further SCP-X events
Addendum 2: On 20/2/2026 another SCP-X event occured at Eleanor Roosevelt High School along with a similar event being reported within Maspeth High School in the Queens borough. It is currently hypothesized that SCP-X events could spread throughout New York City and eventually into other states. Reclassification to Keter is currently pending.
Eleanor Roosevelt Highschool. The first school outside of the Bronx to undergo an SCP-X event.
Item #: SCP-X
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: High schools in all boroughs of New York are to be monitored on every Friday for SCP-X events. When an SCP-X event occurs, a Foundation agent implemented within the school is to exit and enter the school to cease the event. All witnesses and students are to be amnesticized following the event. information on the location of POI-X is to be reported to MTF-Delta-55 (Kings of Queens) .
Description: SCP-X is an anomalous phenomenon affecting random high schools (hereafter refered to as SCP-X-A) in all boroughs of New York City. SCP-X events consists of time slowing down to a complete stop inside of SCP-X-A while time continues as normal outside of it. Students inside of SCP-X-A appear to be unaffected by SCP-X, however staff members and teachers are affected with their movements slowing down and eventually stopping. Inside of SCP-X-A it will take 30 minutes before time stops completely.6 An SCP-X event can be canceled if an individual outside of SCP-X-A steps inside or if an individual inside of SCP-X-A steps outside before returning inside. When an SCP-X event ends, all teachers and staff who were affected by it seem to not remember the event and show skepticism to anyone who talks about it. Following SCP-X events, various notes are found on the desk of the Principal and Vice Principal in the school that the SCP-X event took place in. All notes are signed by an individual named Adel Arden. It is of belief that Adle Arden (POI-X) is the source of SCP-X events is the source of SCP-X.
Addendum 1: Notes left by POI-X: Following an SCP-X event on 11/9/2026, MTF-Delta-55 Commander Dale Daren ordered that notes left by POI-X should be collected. The following are transcripts of some of the notes
Some of the students here are really nice, shame they don't know what's going on. -Adel
Stopped by the cafeteria at this place before I did what I had to do. They have really nice burgers here. Think I'll grab another before I head out. -Adel
Quite a graffiti problem they got here. Took the liberty to clean some before I left. - Adel Arden
Damn trascan [sic] made me trip over before I got here. This place is nasty! - Arden
For the Spanish teacher on the 3rd floor: DM yo en twitter eres lindo
ZA WARUDO! -AA
King of Queens is an awful show. Those grunts don't desarve [sic] to be named after that - Mr. Arden
I'm probably in charge of you right now - Adel
You and me are one in the same, Dale… -Arden
Addendum 2: Senior Researcher Ezra has expressed skepticism over the existence of SCP-X. According to Researcher Ezra "SCP-X is a practical joke being preformed by Agents and Researchers from New York and is making Foundation agents run into random high schools and is risking an SK-Class Broken Masquerade scenario.
Addendum 3: On 9/10/2026 The principal of Townsend Harris High School in Queens, New York was seen writing a note similar to the notes left by POI-X. Further investigation into this and Dr. Ezra's claims is pending.
Item #: SCP-X
Object Class: Keter Explained
Special Containment Procedures: High schools in all boroughs of New York are to be monitored on every Friday for SCP-X events. When an SCP-X event occurs, a Foundation agent implemented within the school is to exit and enter the school to cease the event. All witnesses and students are to be amnesticized following the event. information on the location of POI-X is to be reported to MTF-Delta-55 (Kings of Queens) As SCP-X-EX has been confirmed to not exist, no containment procedures are necessary. MTF-Delta-55 (Kings of Queens) is to be disbanded and all personnel involved in the "creation" of SCP-X-EX are to be terminated.
Description: SCP-X is an anomalous phenomenon affecting random high schools (hereafter refered to as SCP-X-A) in all boroughs of New York City. SCP-X events consists of time slowing down to a complete stop inside of SCP-X-A while time continues as normal outside of it. Students inside of SCP-X-A appear to be unaffected by SCP-X, however staff members and teachers are affected with their movements slowing down and eventually stopping. Inside of SCP-X-A it will take 30 minutes before time stops completely.5 An SCP-X event can be canceled if an individual outside of SCP-X-A steps inside or if an individual inside of SCP-X-A steps outside before returning inside. When an SCP-X event ends, all teachers and staff who were affected by it seem to not remember the event and show skepticism to anyone who talks about it. Following SCP-X events, various notes are found on the desk of the Principal and Vice Principal in the school that the SCP-X event took place in. All notes are signed by an individual named Adel Arden. It is of belief that Adle Arden (POI-X) is the source of SCP-X events is the source of SCP-X. SCP-X-EX is a false temporal anomaly created by various Researchers and Agents from New York City. Apparently, SCP-X-EX affected random High Schools in New York City every Friday. During SCP-X-EX "events", time would slow down to a halt but would only affect teachers and staff and not students.
Addendum 1: An excerpt from "Our Universe and Normalcy: A document explaining what is and is not anomalous" Following the reclassification of SCP-X-EX to Explained, "Our Universe and Normalcy" was updated to include SCP-X-EX. The following is a transcript of the relevant excerpt.
Proposal Date: 26/12/2026
Update Proposal: Re-evaluation of the existence of SCP-X
Dialog:
Good evening Dr. Ezra, I hope you had a merry Christmas. Now, I have received your E-Mail requesting to reclassify SCP-X as Explained. However, we have not heard or seen anything more than just your personal notes and what you have said your assistants and the members of Kings of Queens. Now, keep in mind that reclassification to the Explained class is taken very seriously because if you misclass an anomaly, especially one as wild as SCP-X is, you're not only risking your job, but the safety of thousands and the secrecy of the Foundation as a whole.
Don't worry sir, I have plenty of evidence. May I pull out my laptop and show you some?
Go ahead.
Thank you sir….. ok, it's right here on my personal file. Here's the video of the Principal of Townsend Harris writing the "Adel Arden" note. I also have a picture of a teacher at Bedford Academy High who happens to be named "Mr. Arden"…..
Well Dr. Ezra, I see you have some proof. However it's not winning me over and I doubt it'll win the others over.
Had a feeling you'd say that, that's why I have this…. Now this is the logo of an anti-discrimination school club at Mott Hall Bronx High School. But look what it says "Anti Discrimination & Enrichment League". If you turn that into an acronym, it stands for "A.D.E.L.". Pretty fishy, huh?
You're a pretty good sleuth, Ezra. But I have one final question. In SCP-X's article, it is mentioned that no teacher or staff member can remember the event. Now, how can you be sure that SCP-X doesn't have anti-memetic properties like SCP-055?Nothing there either. One of the Junior Assistants, Dr. Roland asked me about that and we sent a request in to the Memetics team to check that out. They found nothing. I even asked for another one, they couldn't find anything again.
Mrs. Ezra… you have presented me with some quite effective evidence. We shall have a vote on this matter tommorow.
Thank you sir.
Your welcome. By the way, on the tram ride back to the Site, could you send me the relevant Memetics Division report?
No problem, goodbye and goodnight.Conclusion: Following the relevant O5 vote, SCP-X has been reclassified as Explained.
Item #: SCP-X
Object Class: Neutralized
Special Containment Procedures: As of 30/1/2027 SCP-X and POI-X have been neutralized. No further containment procedures are necessary. MTF-Delta-55 is to reorganize into hunting down the group or entity mentioned by Dr. Ezra.
Description: SCP-X was a Temporal anomaly created by Senior Researcher Alexa Ezra and, presumably, MTF-Delta-55 Commander Dale Daren. SCP-X consisted of events affecting random high schools in New York City coming under a temporal anomaly in which on every Friday, time would slow down to a complete stop. Teachers and staff would be affected, however students would not. MTF-Delta-55 was formed to combat this anomaly, however it was disbanded when SCP-X was falsely classed as an Explained anomaly. Senior Researcher Ezra and Commander Daren shared an identity known as Adel Arden. (POI-X) Often at the scene of SCP-X events one of the members of POI-X woulld leave notes behind on the desk of the principal of the school. Transcripts of these notes can be found here.
Addendum 1: On 1/3/2027, RAISA Phone Logs Manager Tom Macbeth discovered that soon after the reclassification of SCP-X to Explained, Senior Researcher Ezra had made several calls to Commander Darren. The following is a transcript of two calls made by Senior Researcher Ezra
Date: 27/12/2026
*BEGIN LOG**
00:00: Hello Dale? This is me, Ezra. I talked with 05-█. He believes my story. He's now going ahead with the vote.
00:18: Yes, I had to use that fake Anti-Racist club image you made. And yes, it was the one that won him over.
00:48: You know how those O5 votes are. Bunch of nihilist Gen-X'ers. But I seem to have won O5-█ over and I heard he's close to 3 and 4 so that's like 3 guaranteed votes for us.
01:13: The Ethics Committee is a bunch of bureaucrats who get nothing done, and when's the last time they cared for an EX? If they didn't care about those dice, they won't care about this.
02:23: Don't worry, if this vote passes, you can come to the next event. That is when the revolution can begin away from the prying eyes of these capitalist tools.02:57: Goodnight Dale, or should I say, Mr. Arden.
END LOG
Date 31/12/2026
BEGIN LOG
00:24: I can't believe it either.
00:32: King of Queens is probably going to disband now, but I assume you'll keep your Level 4 clearance so you could probably take the day off on Friday. Speaking of that, what school would you like to visit first to start spreading the revolution?
01:00: Oh, that's the place you said had good burgers, right? Sure we could do that one, just remind me to get one of those burgers on the way out laughter01:38: more laughter
01:57: Alright Dale, I'm currently at a Site in New Mexico so it's lunchtime for me. I gotta go, goodbye.
END LOG
Addendum 2: Incident X On 23/1/2027 at Site-28, Security Footage of Commander Daren's private sleeping quarters revealed that several documents relating to his shared identity of POI-X and a group or entity known as ███ ████████. Agents Ross and Agent Nasir were sent into his quarters to investigate. The events that followed lead to a shootout in Site-28. Am Incident Report can be found here.
Due to the deaths of Commander Daren and Researcher Ezra and the absence of an SCP-X event on 30/1/2027, SCP-X has been considered to be neutralized. Further investigation into who or what could be ███ ████████ is ongoing.
INCIDENT REPORT X
On the 23rd of January 2027, security footage of the private sleeping quarters of former MTF-Delta-55 Commander Dale Daren in Site-23 revealed that he was one half of the identity Adle Arden, otherwise known as POI-X which was a shared identity between him and Senior Researcher Alexa Ezra that was used to execute SCP-X events. It also revealed that he had ties to and entity or group known as ███ ████████. Agent Edward Nasir and Agent Joey Forelli were sent to investigate. Security footage showed Agent Nasir and Agent Forelli talking to Daren before Daren slapped Nasir and dropped a Class-A2 Amnestic Gas Grenade and grabbed the P90 Assault Rifle and Berreta M9 in his room before exiting the room. Agent Nasir and Agent Forelli proceeded to lose consciousnesses.
Agent Abaza, who was on security duty that day, activated the alarm declaring a RA (Rogue Agent) Security Alert at 06.13 hours. Commander Darren ran undetected to the Level 3 personal quarters to meet up with Senior Researcher Alexa Ezra. Security footage revealed Researcher Ezra stacking various papers into a Duffel bag before Commander Darren entered the room. Commander Daren was seen briefly conversing with Researcher Ezra before giving her the Beretta M9 and exiting the quarters. Two security guards confronted Researcher Ezra and Commander Daren after they left the room before Daren shot both of the agents.
Commander Daren and Researcher Ezra then ran into the nearby Site-23 cafeteria. Commander Daren shot the Site-23 cafeteria roof several times causing all inside to duck and cover. Researcher Ezra and Commander Daren proceeded to a D-Class cafeteria table and took D-10273 hostage. Three security guards entered the Cafeteria before Commander Daren threw a Class-A2 amenstic grenade at them. Another security guard, Agent Harper, entered the Cafeteria and entered a standoff with Commander Daren. Commander Daren then fired two missing shots at Agent Harper before Agent Harper retaliated with two shots at Commander Daren that hit him in his head, terminating him almost instantly. Agent Harper and two other agents then proceeded to corner Researcher Ezra. Before the Agents could detain her, Researcher Ezra self-terminated with her Beretta M9.
Standard site operations resumed on 07.01 hours.
The incident resulted in the following casualties
2x Security Personnel
1x Rogue Agent
1x Rogue Researcher
IDEA
A 1:1 recreation of Atlanta on Pluto. May include fifthisim.
IDEA
MAIN ANOMALY: A river in Japan that has a connection to the dead. Anyone who enters a certain range near the river will biologically die. Their hearts will stop pumping blood, brain will shut down etc., however, they will still be able to preform human actions such as eating, talking, moving etc.. There are three seperate bridges on the river that all lead to an extradimmensional portal. Depending on the actions that a person has committed in life, it will determine which bridge that they are able to cross. The first bridge is a clean, new looking bridge made of Jade and other gems. The second is an iron bridge that shows normal signs of aging. The third bridge is a heavly damaged and weathered bridge. Of note, there are reptilian creatures underneath the third bridge.
WHO CAN CROSS THE BRIDGES: Really good people (animal adopters, equal rights activists, war heroes etc.) can cross the first bridge. Mediocre people (the average Joe who does some good and some bad) can cross the second bridge. Horrible people, (murderers, thieves etc.) can cross the third bridge. Young people are guided across the river by Jizo due to the fact that young people cannot be bad or good people.
DATSUE-BA: An old hag who guards the river and determines who goes on which bridge. She strips bad people of their clothing and attempts to destroy the first and second bridges. However, she is stopped by Jizo. Datsue-Ba is revealed to have an unusually high Hume Level.
JIZO: Jizo is a middle aged man who stands by the river and aids good and mediocre people in their crossings of the bridge. Jizo is observed to do combat with Datsue-Ba on several occasions with Datsue-Ba losing each time.
Story: I am attempting (semi) short-form with this so I do not plan much in terms of story. I want it to be an interview with Datsue-Ba and Jizo and that's it
IDEA
GOC War Robot or something like nobody cares tbh mate just get a job
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILE IS LEVEL 5/XXXX CLASSIFIED
ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THIS FILE WITHOUT LEVEL 5/XXXX AUTHORIZATION WILL LEAD TO EXPOSURE TO THE VAN-ROTH MEMETIC KILL AGENT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
MEMETIC KILL AGENT ACTIVATED
CHECKING FOR NEURAL ACTIVITY
NEURAL ACTIVITY DETECTED
OPENING FILE
Item #: SCP-X
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-X is to be stored in a standard object storage locker at Site-94. No forms of media are to be brought in to a 20 meter radius of said locker.
Description: SCP-X is a 23.5 centimeter tall figure of the character "Asuka Langley Soryu" from the Japanese animated series "Neon Genesis Evangelion". Underneath the base plate of SCP-X are the letters "AWCY". When SCP-X is brought near any form of media, SCP-X will change the content and tone of the media to reflect various religious texts, philosophical ideas, metaphysical concepts and social ideas.
When SCP-X's anomalous properties are triggered, several songs, originating from SCP-X, begin to play at once. These songs include:
- "Bootleg" by experimental hip hop group "Death Grips"
- "Communist Daughter" by experimental rock group "Neutral Milk Hotel"
- "Say It Ain't So" by Pop Rock band "Weezer"
- "Star Wars Won't Work" by Avant Garde rock artist "Frank Zappa"
- "The Overly Dramatic Truth" by Rapper El-P
Addendum 1; SCP-X Test log:
| Standard Media | SCP-X affected media |
| The video game "Battlefield 1" | While core gameplay itself was not affected, all cutscenes were replaced with an unidentified male individual reading of the book "The ego and it's own" by German philosopher Max Stirner. However, the final cutscene was replaced with two unindentified men discussing Nihilism in Europe following World War 1. |
| A CD containing the song "Gucci Gang" by rapper "Lil' Pump" | The song played as normal until the 00:15 mark. From then on, the audio was replaced with "Lil' Pump" talking about poverty in minority neighborhoods and the degradation of Hip-Hop from a way of African-Americans to discuss issues in their communities, to carbon copies of pop. In the background was a piano rendition of "Gucci Gang". |
| The book "Ready Player One" by Ernest Cline | While the main plot remained unchanged, the infamous "God doesn't exist" section was altered to become a 50 page discussion between the characters Wade Watts and Samantha Cook on the "failure of Atheism and how western society must turn back to Christianity". The rest of the book remained unchanged. |
| A guide on "Pointers" in the coding program "C++" | The documentation of SCP-2719. |
Addendum 2; Discovery: SCP-X was discovered when reports on an online "Are We Cool Yet?" forum7 of a French anartist who "was killed by a jealous prankster over finding deeper meanings in everything". The artist was found to be Kyle █████ in Paris, France. SCP-X was found next to █████'s body with two sheets of paper nearby. The first paper reads:
A work of art has a deeper meaning. If you can squeeze out a deeper meaning out of anything, than it can become art. Neon Genesis Evangelion, for example, is art due to its deeper meanings. This Asuka figure has become a work of art now because I have illegible and now it shall extract a deeper meaning from everything.
The second paper found near Kyle █████'s deceased body which reads:
What a deep story, Mark! You know what else is deep? The story of Ergo Proxy. Similar to Evangelion it tackles deep ideas. Ergo tackles ideas about mass surveillance and how technology can affect our lives. It is a shame it was cut short as it was very deep and could have made a deep change similar to NGE. Also a switchblade in your chest. I know you. You were the guy who was saying my Puppy Machine "didn't have a deeper meaning" or some rubbish like that. While you may have brought up some good points, I would like you to realize that it is a social commentary about dark humor. Which is why Y.W.T.G.T.H.F.T has it's name. We provide comedic social commentaries that other groups are too afraid to touch. Maybe you can find a deeper meaning in your death. What am I talking about! That doesn't matter, cause you're unable to understand death and neither is humanity. The dozens of religious and mythological interpretations may be correct but they may be incorrect for all we know. Death is the most common thing we have no understanding about. In your death, you may be able to understand it, but yet you'll have so many questions your spirit will not find the answer to. totally going to hell for that.
█████'s killer is currently unknown.
Item: SCP-3378
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: 250,000 200,000(approx.) instances of SCP-3378 are currently stored in Site-77 for storage purposes, and 100 instances of SCP-3378 are currently stored in Anomalous Item Locker C291 of Site-202 for research purposes.
100 instances of SCP-3378 stored within Site-77 are to be incinerated on a daily basis. All newly retrieved instances of SCP-3378 are to be incinerated.
In the event of an attack on Site-77 or Site-202, all SCP-3378 instances on site are to be incinerated.
All requests for usage of SCP-3378 for non-research purposes are to be approved by the head researcher of SCP-3378(Currently Dr. Lai Dr. Callaghan) on a case-by-case basis. Any attempts to use SCP-3378 for non-research purposes without proper authorization will be met with immediate termination of employment.
All requests for the transfer of any SCP-3378 instances between any site requires the unanimous approval of Dr. Callaghan, Site Director Yeung, and Site Director Roget.
World politics and economics are to be monitored for any significant deviations for extended periods of time. Once the involvement of SCP-3378 is confirmed, Foundation personnel are to attempt to retrieve the SCP-3378 instances and identify whether it is part of the 50,000 lost instances [See Addendum 3378.4].
Description: SCP-3378 is 250,000 200,000 sheets of white A4 paper with printings related to The Chinese University of Hong Kong on one side. SCP-3378 exhibits anomalous behavior whenever an individual uses SCP-3378 to write out calculations related to probability.
SCP-3378 is capable of transforming the result of calculations which would have a result of a low probability8 into a result of higher probability9. See Test Log 3378 for more details.
People unaware, or in certain instances, aware of SCP-3378's anomalous effects, are unable to identify the error within the faulty calculations made by the subject’s completed calculations and will insist that the calculation is not faulty, regardless of the reviewer’s level of mathematical expertise.
Furthermore, if the constants and conditions of the function correspond with any real-world systems directly related to the subject executing the calculations with an accuracy of 3 significant figures, the real world system will then correspond to said calculations, thus increasing the frequency of rare occurrences related to the subject significantly. Scranton Reality Anchors have proven ineffective in stopping this effect.
SCP-3378 may lose its anomalous properties from printing on the unprinted side of the paper. However, due to the lack of efficiency for this method, incineration remains the most effective method of destruction for SCP-3378.
05/04/20 Update: It is currently suspected that SCP-3378 is capable of self-replication on a small scale due to inconsistencies in the documented amount of SCP-3378 instances in Site-77 records. Special Containment Procedures have been updated to compensate for the aforementioned discovery. Requests for reclassification to Euclid is pending was rejected 0-13 on 28/04/20.
We are looking at an increase of 100 per day for 250,000 instances of SCP-3378. That equates to an increase of 1 per day per 2,500 instances. No.
-O5-4
SCP-3378’s existence was discovered on 03/04/19, after several students of The ███████ University of Hong Kong had won the Mark Six10 within a short period of time. However, searches for SCP-3378 remained fruitless until 27/01/23, during an unusually steep drop within the Hong Kong housing market, as well as previously-unseen efforts by the People’s Republic of China to democratize. See Addendum 3378.3 for more details.
Cross testing with SCP-089 and SCP-3689 is pending was rejected 6-7 on 22/02/23.
Reclassification to Thaumiel is pending was rejected 4-9 on 22/02/23.
Dr. Lai, we secure, contain, and protect. We don't use anomalies to help mankind, we help them from it. Besides, there are probably several million universes where the Foundation destroyed itself or the world trying to help humanity.
-O5-9
Addendum 3378.1
After discussion by the O5 Council and the Ethics Committee, it has been determined that SCP-3378 is not to be used for any practical purposes to avoid unintentional changes to the current political and/or economic climate.
Addendum 3378.2
3 of the Interview Logs from several individuals placed under Foundation custody during the discovery of SCP-3378 in 2019.
Interviewed: Wong ██ ████
Interviewer: Dr. Matthew Lai
Foreword: Wong ██ ████, a student at The ███████ University of Hong Kong, was placed under Foundation custody under the guise of the misuse of an anomalous object.
<Begin Log>
Lai: Hello Miss Wong. We just have to ask you a few questions and you may leave.
Wong: Ugh. Fine.
Lai: What caused you to purchase a ticket for Mark Six last Wednesday?
Wong: I was feeling like it. Why?
Lai: Very well. Do you recognize this?
Wong: Where did you get this?
Lai: From your belongings. May you now elaborate on why you bought the ticket?
Wong ██ ████ sighs
Wong: Fine. I noticed of a pattern occurring on me. I noticed that some rare things would happen to me more often.
Lai: Could you please elaborate?
Wong: I would trip more often. Lifts would be out of order more often. I was involved in a traffic accident 3 times during a 4-month period. Then I found out that the paper that I was using could actively change my luck. Rare things happened more often.
Lai: And so you devised a plan to make some money?
Wong: I did. Honestly, calculating the odds of winning the lottery was simple Binomial.
Lai: Understood. Thank you for your time, Miss Wong.
Wong: Are you planning on taking the money away from me?
Lai: Unfortunately, yes.
Miss Wong sighs.
Wong: But I’ve already used it.
Lai: I’m sure my colleagues will figure something out. I’d say something about you post-90s11, but now is not the time for me to ramble.
Lai: Now, Miss Wong, where did you spend the money on?
Wong: █████ ██████ Hospital. For a spine fusion procedure.
Lai: Oh. For yourself?
Wong: For my mother.
Lai: Well, this complicates things.
Dr. Lai sighs.
Lai: Well, I’m sure my colleagues will figure it out.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Wong ██ ████ was given Class-B amnestics and subsequently released. No instances of SCP-3378 were successfully retrieved. 83,766HKD was removed from Wong ██ ████’s bank account, and 216,434HKD was withdrawn from the cancellation of Leung ████ ████’s spine fusion procedure.
Note: On 29/03/19, Wong ██ ████ received a cheque of 220,000HKD from a Foundation front. Dr. Lai has denied all knowledge of this incident.
Interviewed: Lee ████ ███
Interviewer: Dr. Harrison Callaghan
Foreword: Lee ████ ███, a student studying at The ███████ University of Hong Kong, was placed under Foundation custody of an anomalous object.
<Begin Log>
Callaghan: Good afternoon, Mr. Lee.
Lee: Good afternoon, Dr…
Callaghan: Callaghan.
Lee: Very well. What inquiries may you have?
Callaghan: You had done exceptionally well in the standardized test known as the “DSEs”12, no?
Lee: I suppose so. Screwed up my Physics though.
Callaghan: Well, according to my reports, you went from scoring a “2” in your Chinese mock exams to a “5” in the DSEs.
Callaghan: So, what do you think is…
Lee: You’re here for the papers, right?
Callaghan: Yes. We are.
Lee: Ok then, doctor. Where should I start?
Callaghan: When you retrieved it.
Lee: Some friends at ██13 told me of a magical paper that could change reality. Said that it made unlikely things happen.
Lee: So I took them to use. Used it to manipulate questions so that I’d know the questions asked.
Lee: And that is how I scored a “5” in a subject that I despise.
Callaghan: Very well. And may you provide me with the whereabouts of the papers?
Lee: Oh. It’s in the atmosphere. Just like all my Chinese books.
Callaghan: One more thing. Are you implying that you only used the papers for Chinese?
Lee: Oh, yes. Doctor, would it be safe for me to assume that you are British?
Callaghan: Go on.
Lee: How much did you hate studying English or History?
Callaghan: I fail to see the relevance of this, but I can say that I was not the biggest fan of History.
Lee: Exactly. You, good doctor, were born a scientist. And yet you were forced to be a historian in school, toiling your life away doing irrelevant pieces of history homework.
Lee: The same goes for me. But I used the papers to make sure that I got the useless shit out of the way.
Callaghan: So, you didn’t use the papers for personal gain elsewhere in the DSEs?
Lee: Getting through an exam can only get me so far in life. That’s all I have to say about my case.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Lee ████ ███ was given Class-C amnestics and released from Foundation custody afterwardS. No SCP-3378 instances were retrieved.
Interviewed: Dr. Yeung ███ ██
Interviewer: Dr. Harrison Callaghan
Foreword: Dr. Yeung ███ ██, head of the ███████ University’s “Institute of Network Coding”, was interviewed. Dr. Yeung was a former high-level researcher in Anderson Robotics, who defected to the Foundation in 2010.
<Begin Log>
Yeung: Harry! How long has it been?
Callaghan: Too bloody long, Raymond. The Foundation has some questions that I suppose I would have to get through first.
Yeung: Ok. What brings me here today?
Callaghan: You have led The ███████ University of Hong Kong through some serious breakthroughs in Network Coding.
Yeung: Yes, I did. And without any help from my old colleagues at Anderson.
Callaghan: Well, the Foundation suspects that you may have used some anomalies.
Yeung: Well, I can assure you, everything that I do at ██ is non-anomalous.
Callaghan: We meant that in a slightly different direction.
Yeung: I suppose the papers got loose, did they?
Callaghan: Yes.
Yeung: I wonder which one of my interns will I have to fire. Huh.
Callaghan: When did you find out about it?
Yeung: Can’t really remember. Sorry, Harry. Maybe a relic from my Anderson days…?
Callaghan: And you used them for…?
Yeung: My research. Development of Network Coding is hard. Trying to get newer things to work has been a pain in the ass since the 90s.
Yeung: So I used the papers. Manipulated the world around me and my team to get favorable results.
Callaghan: Ok.
Yeung: And now, the development of network coding has been accelerated by at least 20 years thanks to my team.
Callaghan: How effective have the papers been in your development?
Yeung: I don’t have a good number on this, but I’d say over half of our discoveries came to be through this “random luck”.
Yeung: Before every significant test, I run the numbers through the paper, and get a result for the day.
Yeung: I've compared myself with other research teams. All I know is that my tests provide breakthroughs, and theirs only prove their null hypothesizes.
Yeung: I don’t even know where my skills stop and the papers end. I don't even know if I'm qualified to be a doctor anymore. I don't think I deserve to be, at any rate.
Callaghan: Care to elaborate?
Yeung: Do you know of the Black Box and Conch14?
Callaghan: Oh. That.
Callaghan: So you consider the papers to be a crutch for your lack of skills?
Yeung: All I do now is run tests randomly. And Lady Luck just so happens to help.
Callaghan: If you seriously doubted your skills, couldn't you just stop using the papers?
Yeung: There’s more at stake here. Without the papers, do you know how slow world would be? I get to make science with this. Without it, the world goes back to the dark ages.
Yeung: Without the paper, we drag the world down.
Callaghan: Sadly, that’s not how we do things at the Foundation.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Yeung ███ ██ was released from Foundation custody afterwards. The performance of the Institute of Network Coding did not deviate from the norm afterwards.
Searches for SCP-3378 remained fruitless for 3 years, until [See Addendum 3378.3].
Addendum 3378.3
SCP-3378 was rediscovered in 22/01/23, during an unusually steep drop within the Hong Kong housing market, as well as previously-unseen efforts by the People’s Republic of China to democratize.
Interviewed: Wong ███ ████
Interviewer: Dr. Matthew Lai
Date: 27/01/23Foreword: On 27/01/23, Wong ███ ███, a student at The ███████ University of Hong Kong was placed in Foundation custody for possession of SCP-3378.
<Begin Log>Lai: When did you come into possession of the papers?
Wong: About 3 years ago, some classmates of mine mentioned about a room filled with printed paper that could make wishes come true. Needless to say, they used it on winning the Mark Six.
Lai: You can start at the part where you started writing on it.
Wong: Ok. I found the room full of the scrap paper they were talking about a month ago. Needless to say, I took some of it for personal use.
Lai: May you mention the things you have done with the papers?
Wong: No problem. I used the papers to do good. I spent weeks collecting reasonable data and eventually lowered the ridiculous housing prices of Hong Kong. And then I spent more time collecting data regarding the democratization of China.
Lai: And is that all of the changes you have made?
Wong: Correct. I would have accomplished more if that gwailo15 in a suit didn’t stop me.
Lai: I suppose you mean Agent Dashing. Thank you for your time, Mr. Wong.
Wong: You’re going to undo everything that I did, are you?
Lai: Unfortunately, yes.
Wong: Why?
Lai: Excuse me?
Wong: Why would you revert everything that I’ve done?
Lai: Because what you did was certainly not the correct thing. Manipulating…
Wong: Really? Wrong? I allowed the citizens of Hong Kong to enter the housing market at a reasonable cost! I stopped the hegemony of those fucking property developers! I brought hope to 3 million people, who finally can get the proper life they deserve!
Lai: Mr. Wong…
Wong: I also brought democracy to China for the first time in 120 years! No longer shall the Chinese people suffer from the wrath of the Communist Party! Tell me, doctor, in what ways am I wrong?
Lai: You may now leave, Mr. Wong.
Wong: I suppose you are one of us, right? You have spent years working like hell until eventually, you reach the point where you become a house-slave16. To never see the light of democracy and live under a shit regime filled with oppressive cunts.
Lai: I…
Wong: In which case, why must you oppose me? Why must you stop my crusade for a better world? Please, doctor, enlighten me.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Wong ███ ████ was subsequently amnestied and released. 250'000 instances of SCP-3378 were placed in Foundation custody and all remaining instances were incinerated. The Hong Kong housing market continued its steep climb on 19/03/23 and all democratization efforts by the PRC were reverted 12/07/23.
250,000 instances of SCP-3378 were retrieved from The ███████ University of Hong Kong afterward and placed in Foundation custody.
Addendum 3378.4
On 25/02/23, Dr. Lai requested a transfer of 50,000 instances of SCP-3378 to be sent from Site-77 to Site-202 for research purposes. The transport was intercepted by GOI-████, and all 50,000 instances of SCP-3378 were lost.
After much investigation, it was discovered that the breach of intelligence was caused by Dr. Lai. Dr. Lai, in subsequent interviews, expressed a desire to use SCP-3378 "for the better of mankind", and that "he wanted it to be put in good hands".
While Dr. Lai's intentions are certainly good, there is no denying that he compromised the Foundation. We secure, contain, and protect. We don't save the world.
-Dr. Cheng
Dr. Lai is to be demoted to D-Class and transferred to Site-19 by April 2023.
Under the requests of Site Director Yeung, Dr. Callaghan, Dr. Cheng, and 43 other Site-202 staff, the repatriation of Dr. Lai has been changed to the demotion to Level 2 and transfer to Site-66.
two brackets tab tabname two brackets code, and finish it with two brackets forward slash two brackets
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING FILE IS LEVEL 4/XXXX CLASSIFIED
ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THIS FILE WITHOUT LEVEL 4/XXXX AUTHORIZATION WILL BE LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO IMMEDIATE DISCIPLINARY ACTION.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: The papers containing SCP-X are to be stored at Site-761 and are restricted to Dr. Naismith, Agent Forelli and Level 5 Personnel.
Description: SCP-X consists of a series of Foundation made memetic phrases. When spoken around technology, SCP-X will cause the technology to cease function or spontaneously combust. An instance of SCP-X will only affect the technology the phrase is signed to. For example, an instance of SCP-X will affect a pacemaker, but will have no affect on a television set while another phrase will affect a television and not a pacemaker. These phrases have no affect on humans or humanoid entities. There are currently 200 known instances of SCP-X.
Addendum: SCP-X was discovered during Extranormal Event-98097 on 28/07/2077 when a spatial anomaly appeared over Site-761. A package containing the papers in which SCP-X was found on, two deceased human males, and a Heckler & Koch MP5 were recovered following the event. The two human males were identified to be genetically identical to Junior Researcher Lisle Murgatroyd Naismith and Agent Giorgio Lionel Forelli. Inside of the package where the papers containing SCP-X were found was a manilla folder with the words "READ ME" on the cover. On the inside of the folder were two printed papers with English text on them. The transcript of the papers can be found below.
If you're reading this, than this means that my world is dead due to a couple of boneheaded old men.
Whoever receives this is probably unaware of the Tri-Moon Initiative or Corbenic or whatever they call themselves this week. You probably ain't got the clearance to look it up either. All I can tell you is that they're aliens and they actually wanna help us. Seems like a relief that for once, we encounter an extraterrestrial race and they don't wanna eat our bones for breakfast and our brains for dessert. So what does the glorious Foundation decide to do when they come close to Earth? Talk to them? No that's what normal people do. This is the Foundation, so that means that we created an AI called Guangxu for extraterrestrial war and decided to genocide all of these Tri-Moon guys. So they send me and every other plucky Foundation agent out on the front lines to fight these guys despite the fact they don't wanna harm us at all.
The cherry on this sundae? Doing this alerted some other aliens to where they are and these guys have been wanting to kill the Tri-Moon guys for millenia! And these guys are bigger and badder than any other alien race we've ever seen before so they come in and just slaughter us like a kid stomping on ants. I still remember seeing Draven get his eyeballs popped out the sockets before his skeleton was pulled out his body through the mouth by one of those big alien freaks. Poor kid never deserved it.
So how did I survive? Simple, I just left the battlefields and met up with this guy called Dr. Naismith. Apparently he's the ONE MAN in the ENTIRE FOUNDATION who knows a thing about these Tri-Moon guys. And the Tri-Moon actually like him a bit. So me, him and two other guys made it to Site-761 in New York cause it was one of the few sites that still kinda functioned like a normal site. Good news is that there's a few more guys here and they've been developing some black project called the "Stix and Stonez". Dumb name, I know. Apparently what this is is some sort of memetic kill phrase for technology that immediately fries it. Theyre trying to make this so maybe we can stop, or at this point slow down, Guangxu. They've tested it on smaller things like microwaves and game consoles and it's worked like a charm. We then moved on to bigger things like Anderson PSHUD's and a couple of Broken God whackos we've had locked up down here. And thankfully, they were fried too. We still need to work on this damned AI kill phrase and I don't think we're getting any close to finishing it. Even if we do make this and beat it, Guangxu and the aliens have done enough damage already. We'll need a miracle and a half to even get close to rebuilding society.
To make matter worse, I keep hearing these growls and hisses whenever it's midnight. It can't be an skip cause they got decommissioned when we started killing the Tri-Moon guys and anything that slipped through would have been slaughtered by those other aliens. I think those other aliens might have caught up to us. Naismith keeps going up to the roof every night fiddling with an antenna and dish to try and contact the Tri-Moon initiative but he ain't found shit. Some other brains are trying to create some sort of portal but it ain't made for human life. They want to send some of the kill phrases in a package to another Foundation. I hope these point dexter's know what they're doing cause I keep hearing these whirring machines and clanking from the outside. I'm holed up in some office writing this to send it to those pencil pushers and I got my MP5 ready to come out blasting.
To any iteration of the Foundation that gets this. For the love of god, trust those corbenic guys and hold on to these damned phrases. Do not create another Guangxu. You will be watched, you will be protected and you will be loved.
My name is General Giorgio Forelli, and I am dead.
Electronic copy below as per Federal Records Act
UIU File 2029-004: Case File Sasquatch/Codename Bigfoot
Summary: Ape-like creature that roams the Pacific Northwest. Jams electronics such as cameras and phones. Possibly a cult leader.
Name: Bigfoot
Irregularity Cross-reference: Large primate similar to a gorilla , cult leader
Physical Description:
| Sex | Height | Weight/Build | Race | Hair | Eyes | Identifying Attributes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| N/A | 8' - 8'7" | Thought to be around 700 to 1,000 pounds. Extra Large build | Thought to be a relative to the modern Gorilla. | Black or brown. Covers entire body | N/A | 24' Inch long and 8' inch wide footprints. |
Capabilities: Electronic jamming capabilities. All photos and videos of the irregularity are either deleted or corrupted. Possible advanced camouflage skills. Attempts to locate via Thermal Imaging have been unsuccessful.
Purpose/Motive: Survival
Modus Operandi: Evasion of humanity as a whole
Behavior: Evasive when around humanoids. Thought to be aggressive around other animals as various animal carcasses have been found near reported areas.
Patterson-Gimlin Film: A 1-minute long recording of Bigfoot moving through a forest area in Northern California. Due to the low quality of the film, it is used by the UIU to say that Bigfoot is a hoax.
Camp attacks: Several camp sites in the Pacific Northwest area have reported being attacked by Bigfoot. While some of these can be explained as Bear attacks, some of these have had unusual features not matching with the description of a Bear. These include unusually large claw marks and footprints.
Deathly Claw Marks: Some Bigfoot attacks have reported "Deathly Claw Marks". These claw marks, when touched, reportedly give the victim hallucinations of Bigfoot before the victim suffers from a stroke and spontaneously combusts, releasing amonia and methane in the process.
A campsite after a supposed Bigfoot attack
Current Status: All UIU agents are to shoot Bigfoot on site. Anyone obsessed with Bigfoot is to be regarded as a conspiracy theorist and left alone. As there are multiple Bigfoots, the UIU is to attempt searches in the Pacific Northwest area on the 7th of each month.
Crimes: Vandalism, battery, possible manslaughter.
Sentencing: Indefinite detention/Execution
History of UIU Action:
06/11/2029: Previously thought to have been eliminated by Foundation forces, reports of Bigfoot in the Pacific Northwest resurfaced. Bigfoot registered as an Irregular suspect in the UIU database.
16/11/2032: A hunt for Bigfoot is scheduled to occur on 07/12/2029 as this is thought to be a mating time for Bigfoot's
07/12/2029: At 22:00 hours the hunt began when 8 UIU Agents were deposited into Redwood National Park via Helicopter. A UIU Drone was sent in to record the events from a nearby park ranger station.
23:00: No events reported
00:00: 2 UIU Agents dropped dead with one of them reporting that they saw Bigfoot before death. The remaining UIU Agents open fire but do not appear to hit Bigfoot.
01:00: The 6 UIU Agents take a photo of a Bigfoot footprint. Photo is sent to the virtual evidence locker database.
01:15: An ape-like scream is picked up by the drone. The drone then turns and follows the direction of the scream with 2 UIU Agents following the drone.. For reasons unknown, the camera feed then drops out for 5 minutes.
01:20: A fire starts near the source of the scream. The 2 agents that followed are presumed dead. The 4 remaining UIU Agents begin to run out of the forest while huge stomps are heard following them
01:22: The 4 UIU Agents make it to a river with the stomps getting closer. Several expletives are heard along with gunshots before the camera feed drops out again.
01:27: Camera feed back online. The 4 UIU agents are heard celebrating. With the fire beginning to spread, the UIU Agents begin to escape the area.
01:35: An unidentified man with 1st and 2nd degree burns begins to follow the UIU Agents
01:55: The UIU Agents make it to the Redwood National Park parking lot with the unidentified man following close behind. The UIU Agents aim their guns at the unidentified man before the unidentified man pulls out an identification card revealing himself to be a UIU Agent. The unidentified man then collapsed, presumably from exhaustion. A UIU Agent then calls in a helicopter for pick up.
02:07: With the fire engulfing 27 Acres, a UIU transport helicopter picks up the 5 UIU Agents and leaves the area.
02:17 While the UIU leaves the area, another ape-like scream is heard. The volume of which cracks the camera lens on the drone. The drone begins to lose power and falls to the ground.
02:45: A large ape like creature is seen walking up to the drone. It then picks it up. The camera feed completely dies at this point. The fate of the drone is unknown.
IGNORE THIS SECTION THIS IS JUST FOR CODING AND CREDITING
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2deep4u: Thank Phantom for crit
HF Dummie rewrite: HF Dummie gets full credit for the original. Wrong gets credit for crit on the original.
