SCP-MILK

Domesticated instance of SCP-XXXX-1

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: All evidence of the existence of SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-1 is to be hidden from the civilian population by any means. This may include but is not limited to: tampering with observational equipment, initiating disinformation campaigns, or amnesticizing civilians.

Description: SCP-XXXX refers to a standard milk gallon located at the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. SCP-XXXX is approximately 5.3 light-years in height, and is estimated to have a mass of 4.2 Million M_☉¹. How SCP-XXXX retains its shape or what SCP-XXXX is composed of is currently unknown.

SCP-XXXX consistently expels various subspecies of the Bos taurus (Dairy cow)² from its surface into outer space, at a rate of roughly 55 Million per hour. Despite being physiologically identical to that of domesticated SCP-XXXX-1 instances, new instances of SCP-XXXX-1 are capable of living in outer space, and only seem to rely on their standard bodily functions once they have landed on the surface of another large celestial object³. Despite this, SCP-XXXX-1 appear to be fairly resistant to uninhabitable environments for several days before expiration.

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• Discovery log? (I don't know what would be good here except maybe a casual report of cows floating in space)
• Archeological dig showing cows from the Triassic period
• John Van Wormer Diary detailing how cows told him about the idea shape of a carton

notes

This is a collab page because of course it is.

MrBazzle was here lulz

ideas and stuffs:

<CaptainKirby>: what if they're just cows
<MrBazzle3>: YES
<MrBazzle3>: the entire origin of cows would at last be explained
<CaptainKirby>: \o/
<CaptainKirby>: It's like answering the chicken and the egg question
<CaptainKirby>: Except not because milk and cows don't have that relationship
<CaptainKirby>: And milk most certainly didn't make cows
<MrBazzle3>: the government cooperated with cows to harness the nutritious values of milk as an edible good
<CaptainKirby>: but who cares
<CaptainKirby>: XD
<CaptainKirby>: How deep does the milk hole go?
<MrBazzle3>: we didn't come up with the milk gallon; they did
<CaptainKirby>: 👍
<MrBazzle3>: I mean it'd be pretty ridiculous if cows were able to successfully disguise as humans, but suspension of disbelief would be nearly impossible there
<MrBazzle3>: so I recommend that the cows just held people hostage and made them make these ads :v
<CaptainKirby>: I can dig that
<MrBazzle3>: and that'd be an easy way to explain how the Foundation found out about it
<MrBazzle3>: maybe a cry for help from one of the hostage employees somehow got out

too lazy to edit this all into a bullet point list.

Footnotes

1. 4.2 Million masses of the Sun

2. hereafter SCP-XXXX-1

3. Asteroids, Moons, Planets, Stars, etc.