collab: JChmielewska and Boogeyman23

Boogey_Man23 & JChmielewska

CURRENT ARTICLE:

Item#: xxxx

Level2

Containment Class:

safe

Secondary Class:

none

Disruption Class:

dark

Risk Class:

notice

link to memo

SCP-XXXX

Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a Level 2-Modified Humanoid Containment Chamber at Site-93. In the interest of maintaining a positive psychological profile, interactions with SCP-XXXX will be conducted with only one staff member present at any time.

SCP-XXXX is permitted access to kitchenware and foodstuffs in its containment chamber, at the discretion of Dr. Chmielewska and the Containment Technicians on duty.

Description:

SCP-XXXX is a female domesticated European polecat (commonly referred to as a ferret). SCP-XXXX has demonstrated sapience and the ability to speak, which it does with a pronounced Scouse English accent. SCP-XXXX identifies itself with the name "Charlie" and has cooperated amicably with Foundation staff during the course of its containment.

Of particular note is SCP-XXXX's ability and penchant for cooking and serving food. Though remaining partial to recipes for broth-based meals (such as soups or stews), it shows marked familiarity with relevant culinary techniques.

Interview Log XXXX-1A

ENTIRE LOG DUE FOR EDITS

Interview Subject: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: This is the first of SCP-XXXX's weekly interview sessions with Site-93 personnel.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: This is Junior Researcher Richard Clarkson speaking, conducting initial research interview with SCP-XXXX. I ask that you answer the following questions to the best of your ability.

SCP-XXXX: I do not intend on jarggin' your research, Mr. Clarkson.

Dr. Clarkson: Ok. What can you tell me about your origins, or your earliest memories?

SCP-XXXX: I believe I was born just like any other ferret was, abar nine years ago in Northern Africa. Then I was taken from me home not long after and brought to a quaint, well in town called "Liverpool".

Dr. Clarkson: Have you had these anomalous properties for your whole life then?

SCP-XXXX: If you are referring to me talkin', I ha' been speakin' for as long as I can remember. I believe I was born with it. English ain't my first language. I began speakin' in Arabic before I learned English. And then I caught the Scouse accent from growin' up in Liverpool.

Dr. Clarkson: And you… are able to cook? Is that right?

SCP-XXXX: That is a more personal question, and I can hear the curiosity in your voice. That jarg question isn't on your paper, is it?

Dr. Clarkson: I- um-

SCP-XXXX chuckles.

SCP-XXXX: Aye, I learned to cook not long after I was brought to Liverpool. Ol' [owner name] used to watch cookin' programs on the telly all the time; I picked up on the lessons after a time. Oh, she was proper skint, but sound nonetheless. She'd only ever spend her pounds on a bevvie or two, but started buyin' some scran when I showed off an interest in cookin'. She cared for me like no other did! She was like me ma' to me…

There is a moment of silence.

SCP-XXXX: Is me accent too thick for youse? Like-

Dr. Clarkson: There will be no further questions at this time.

Dr. Clarkson stands and moves to the door.

SCP-XXXX: G'wed, if youse ever decide to come back, don't be so stern. Open up, it's okay to be geggin' in, I don't mind. Ta-ra, Mr. Clarkson.

<End Log>

Afterword: Please review this transcription for any errors which may be due to difficulty in understanding the speech patterns of SCP-XXXX. - Dr. Paul

I've corrected the transcript where necessary. If the accent is an issue for other researchers, I will volunteer to conduct further interviews. - Dr. Clarkson

Interview Log XXXX-1P

Interview Subject: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: Weekly interview session with SCP-XXXX.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: Hello, XXXX.

SCP-XXXX: Good afternoon, Mr. Clarkson! And please, call me Charlie.

NEXT TEN LINES MUST BE REWRITTEN FOR A SMOOTH FLOWING CONVERSATION

Dr. Clarkson: I understand you've been preparing a meal today?

SCP-XXXX: Abar time ye came around! I have been waitin' for any of youse chocka beauts to send in one youse lads to taste my well in scran! I was begginin' to thing youse was blaggin' me 'ead or youse couldn't be arsed, az if!

There is a moment of silence.

SCP-XXXX: I'll jus' get youse some a that scran.

SCP-XXXX fetches a dish of stew and brings it to Dr. Clarkson

SCP-XXXX: It's the best I could do in the short time youse have to spend here.

Dr. Clarkson samples the dish.

SCP-XXXX: It's an old vegetable broth that me ma' use' to make me whenever I was feelin' under d' weather. Tis na' natural for ferrets to eat vegetables, but I'd swill some down anyway, fer her sake.

Dr. Clarkson: Mhmm…

Dr. Clarkson writes down the following notes: "SCP-XXXX's resulting dish does not have anomalous effects upon consumption."

NEXT FEW LINES SHOULD SHOW CLARKSON CONFLICTED

SCP-XXXX: Well? Is it sound? It was tasted proper boss when I tasted it myself.

Dr. Clarkson: Oh wow! It's really … is quite good … I didn't expect this, actually. Did you put anything else in it?

SCP-XXXX: Nothin' more than the ingredients youse given me. But most of the carrots ain't fresh.

Dr. Clarkson: I will see what I can do about that for you.

SCP-XXXX: Ay, ya don't have too! The stuff I'm makin' is fine as is.

Dr. Clarkson: It's the least I could do for you.

SCP-XXXX: Well then what might be the most you could do for me?

pause

Dr. Clarkson: I have to leave now.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Request to bring SCP-XXXX fresher vegetables pending approval.

Notes: Continue with the logs as normal, but please try and open up a bit? Just don't be too stiff so that it can trust you. We can always replace you if your work is not adequate. - Dr. Chmielewska

Interview Log XXXX-2F

WHOLE ARTICLE SHOULD SHOW CLARKSON CONFLICTED ABOUT HOW HE SHOULD ACT, STRICT OR CASUAL. THEN CHMIELEWSKA COMMENTS ON HIS INCONSISTENT BEHAVIOUR AND GIVES HIM ADVICE (MAYBE NOT GOOD ADVICE, AS CHMIELEWSKA IS USUALLY TOO CASUAL AND UNPROFESSIONAL)

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: Weekly interview log between researcher and SCP-XXXX.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: Hello again.

SCP-XXXX: Afternoon, Mr. Clarkson.

Dr. Clarkson: You know the drill by now.

SCP-XXXX: May we skip the first few questions today? A brand new recipe for a broth came to me in me kip last night.

Dr. Clarkson: It is standard, you know that.

SCP-XXXX: Well it doesn't seem like youse want to ask the questions any more than I want to answer em, maybe less. Why can't we just be havin' a heart to heart?

Dr. Clarkson: These interviews must stay professional.

SCP-XXXX: What is defined as "professional"?

Dr. Clarkson: I am not required to answer any questions you ask me.

SCP-XXXX: Dick, we ha' been speaking for months now.

Dr. Clarkson: Emotional connections between personnel and contained anomalies is prohibited.

SCP-XXXX: Do we not have a connection? I always thought we were sound friends.

Dr. Clarkson: I know you well.

SCP-XXXX: Know me well? Is that it? Do we not have anythin' else?

Dr. Clarkson: Personnel and subject are not allowed to have any type of bond. I ask you these questions for the sake of research.

SCP-XXXX: Research? Ya say that as if that's all ya see me as! Just a test subject to experiment on! Ya say that like I'm nothin' to youze!

Dr. Clarkson: Well- Maybe I have grown a slight attachment..

SCP-XXXX scurries across the desk to face Dr. Clarkson.

SCP-XXXX: "A slight attachment" ya say?

Dr. Clarkson: I rarely have anyone else to talk to around here.

SCP-XXXX: Open up a bit! I can tell youse, I ain't the bitin' kind.

Dr. Clarkson: … well then-

Dr. Clarkson is seen turning off the audio recorder and conversing with SCP-XXXX for 30 minutes before leaving the containment chamber.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Dr. Clarkson insists that the information he has collected from conversing with SCP-XXXX will help further research on it's anomalous properties.

Notes: As long as these conversations are beneficial to research than he can talk for as long as he wants. He has been getting a lot more information from it than anyone else who has entered that room has.

- Dr. Chmielewska

Interview Log XXXX-2G

Interview Log XXXX-2J

‡ Licensing / Citation

Authors: JChmielewska, Boogey_Man23

Charlie_2 Image Credits: "My Ferret" by silicon640c is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Alright, nice work on setting this page up for us! I've put down a couple small notes into the following tabs for now. I think we should have no issue with sticking to the conditions you've outlined there; I agree all seems sensible for this article.

Most of this article plays out in the Interviews, so I will take a bit more time to analyze how those go in their current form and to think about any changes they might need. Generally I find the best way to go about it is to start by blocking out just the rough plot beats of what should happen in each interview, and how they all fit together in portraying the progression of the story; and then to focus in on the dialogue itself. In this case, since you've already written them mostly, we'll probably only need to move some bits around and just make small edits to adjust.

If you'd like, please go ahead and fill in more information about the Researcher characters that will be appearing in this article which might be relevant/useful for writing them (ranks/seniority between them, professional qualifications, personality details, etc). Also, any thoughts or ideas you have in mind for endings; we can weigh our options and decide what will make for the best story. If you have any questions / comments / concerns at any point in this project, please don't hesitate to let me know!

The ConProcs and Desc look great! I will be filling in the information about the researchers, but the next big issue is the messy narrative that I just stitched together over time. The part where Charlie has negative feelings toward Foundation staff might be tossed out. I honestly have no ideas for what to do with it but to portray Charlie having a positive connection with staff, and the researchers having a semi-positive connection back, Dr. Clarkson being the most friendly toward her. So a nice happy ending would be favorable, but also alluding to things the reader doesn't know about the researchers and this specific site.

Site-93: A relatively small Foundation facility, possibly the smallest, that is located near the coast of New England in Southern Maine. The site was formally a water mill before it was converted into a site, a majority of it being underground. The site specializes in research and containment of low-risk objects and entities, thus D-class are rarely used and most hands-on research is done by the researchers themselves. Most researchers from other sites argue that site-93 even exists, not because it's shrouded in secrecy, but because it's so small that no one really cares about it.

Dr. Jazlyne Chmielewska (real last name "Hooper"): A well-known researcher at the site. She rarely takes any work seriously but will be very serious and bossy about any work that other people do, which is why she is head researcher most of the time and looks over the work that other researchers do. Doesn't have a degree in anything but doesn't let anyone know that. Knows a lot about animals, just enough to not get killed by them. She was transferred to site-93 after an incident at another Foundation facility resulting in several Foundation personnel fatalities. As the site only contains low-risk entities, an incident like that relating to her should not happen again.

Dr. Henry Newt Tyson (real name classified): Site-Director at site-93. Very kind but very serious, rarely talks about his emotions or past. Charismatic and really confident, usually shaking people's hands firmly and greeting them with a warm smile. Transferred and promoted to site-director from the same site Chmielewska came from, they know each other well. Always keeps a close eye on researchers, always giving his own opinion on their work.

Dr. Richard Clarkson: Junior Researcher at the site. Sweet and caring, tries to follow strict orders the best he can, but usually gets distracted while working. He is relatively new to the Foundation but tries his best. Always under the watchful eye of Chmielewska, as Tyson always assigns Clarkson to entities Chmielewska is head-researcher of.

Will put these in the notes somewhere later if it can fit.

Alright then. If we aren't attached to any one specific narrative at this time, then we're free to explore and evaluate all different options. Something with a sort of positive / feel-good vibe could be nice and charm readers. Also, this is some good stuff with the characterization and setbuilding of the Site and the Researchers; we can work with this and implement some of it into the article's details. I definitely appreciate knowing these type of details, even if they don't all become explicitly relevant in a piece.

One potential angle I thought of, based a bit on what's in there now, is this: Suppose we portray Clarkson - being new / inexperienced - as preoccupied with appearances of professionalism and his impression for how cold and detached he's expected to act towards all SCPs at all times; he's been trained to believe that any designated SCP must be treated as a prisoner and that no kind of positive bonding is allowed. This leads to things getting a bit dicey with Charlie (being upset at the distant attitude and/or the false displays of friendliness). So then Dr. C or Dr. Tyson has to, like, give him a talking to… but it's the opposite of what Clarkson expects. They explain that the core goal of their job is to maintain successful containment, and that keeping SCPs content and happy makes that job easier to do - so Clarkson better get over whatever ideas he has in his head and don't make everyone on Site's job harder by upsetting our anomaly like that!

In a way, this might be a bit of a meta-commentary on the way SCP-and-Staff interactions have been treated and written in the wiki's history and now; like, that writers have more freedom to do what's actually sensible and efficient, instead of rigidly adhering to antiquated notions of "detached professionalism at all costs" or the like. Or overlooking that subtext, it could be just a sweet little story about a friendly SCP and a young Junior Researcher who learns a lesson at the end of the day.

Possible challenge there might be finding a logical in-universe way to include that sort of semi-off-the-record type of conversation in what's ostensibly the SCP documentation… but we can probably find a way to smooth that out. So, let me know what you think about that direction, maybe?

I like the idea of putting Clarkson back as the main focus, and the meta-commentary part is good.

I had a problem finding the source of the ferret image I used. I went to CC search and found the image that followed the image use policy, it is a widely used ferret image. I went back on the site to find it again so I could put it in the credits, but it was gone. Is this going to be an issue?

Ok, sounds good. We'll sort out the interviews in order to go along with that arc then. As for the image, we will need to be able to provide a source to confirm it's CC compliant; so unless we are able to find the picture again someplace else (and it states that the picture is released under compatible license), we can't use it on the wiki.

Uh oh. I also reverse image searched it, nothing but news articles about ferrets.

Darn, I quite like that picture too. This site has a compatible use policy, if you reckon one of these pictures might be a suitable replacement. Or we have until posting time to search more; we can leave this one as a placeholder for now.

We'll keep the current image as a placeholder for now. We gotta move on with the narrative.

Roger that, proper priorities there. I put a couple notes about starting the arc with the Interviews on next tab, but for now I don't quite have a clear idea of how it may close. As for which of the experienced Drs ultimately give Clarkson the talking to: on the one hand it would make sense to be Dr Chmielewska, as his direct supervisor; on the other, if Dr. Tyson's character is so charismatically affable and wise and experienced, he might be more suited to it (and hearing it from someone so senior as a respectable Site Director might make more impact for Clarkson). So that's something to consider.

(P.S. I wrote one more paragraph for the Description. Trying to keep it very short still, but I feel the cooking bit deserves a mention in that section.)

To let you know in advance, I likely won't be able to get online for a couple of days coming up. But I will be back at it by Sunday / Monday.

Will note that. I have a backup image with credit incase we are unable to find credit for the first image labeled "Charlie_2" in files. I may be able to come up with some form of a narrative by Monday if I don't get too distracted. Maybe there could be two parts where both Dr. Chmielewska and Dr. Tyson talk to him separately and give him their own views and how they contradict each other, showing more of their character.

Perhaps, if each of them have substantially different attitudes about it / the content of each talk is different (and we can make both fit naturally in the article), we could have both give speeches to Clarkson. Partly because I tend to struggle with it myself, but also because these all seem like characters you've got a well-defined handle on how they should act, I'm going to count on you for the initial writing / real bones of the interviews. I will look at them after for any opportunities to polish and improve dialogue or prose, but I will trust your sensibilities on the general beats and actions/reactions of the characters. So whatever you come up with, we can discuss together and work with it from there.

Sorry about the lack of work for the last week, had a shit ton of stuff on my plate and personal stuff I won't go into. I'll try and get a full draft of the interviews in by tomorrow afternoon.

That's fine; thank you for taking the time to keep me updated. Hopefully all is well. Talk to you later!

Currently writing down some ideas and making a few changes to the pre-existing logs. The new ferret image is really starting to grow on me, it's so fluffy!

Yeah, this new picture is quite good, I think so too. As we make more progress I've been expanding in the Notes section; charting from the most basic beats of the overall plot into more in-depth considerations for each of those major bits. I think soon we'll be making even finer revisions to minor elements of those bits, and eventually down to really pinpointing any small individual issues left in the draft. As always, feel free to share any questions / comments / concerns you may have about the article's direction.

Tried to add some nice collapsibles to fit the black highlighter theme. I don't know if you have noticed but it has completely fucked the whole thing, I can't even finish converting the fifth log without it wiping everything. I'm not joking when I say that putting in the last "[[/collapsible]] [[/div]]" gets rid of everything. Idk what's wrong with it, I know nothing about CSS, tried everything I knew. I'm heading to bed so if you are able to something with it that would be swell. Ta.

I don't know. I don't hardly ever use any extra themes, myself. Maybe unless there's any written content changes you've added that will be lost, you could just revert the page to the last version with no problems?

Attempted that several times. idk whats wrong with it, it just completely wipes everything if you like at previous revisions. Someone said it could be just wikidot limitations but that doesn't really make sense. Its just one normal collapsible code that fucks up everything. idk what to do about it :/

Fixed it! It was something with the center code, idk what it was but putting the collapsibles in the center just did something to it, I'll go and leave a comment in the discussion for the collapsible to let them know.

Also made a few style changes to make it look better and match the Black Highlighter theme.

Ok, neat. Still looks a bit off, I think (cutting off the last bit of text in the collapsible box dealy?) - but maybe it'll work out once it's not on Sandbox. Or we can fuss over appearances and formatting when the time comes. We might need to start trawling for some light feedback soon, maybe that will give us ideas for how we might refine the interviews / develop the ending. If you pop on the chat, shoot me a message if I'm on.

The collapsibles have a limit lol. I'll hop onto the chat sometime today and message you.

Finally got to adding some bold pointers about how I think the logs should go, it's small but it's all I could think of for now.

I apologize for my time away from the scp wiki while we are supposed to be working together. I touched up a little bit one log, and willl try to do more as soon as I can.

Sorry for not being very active, practicing my guitar has taken up most of my time. The edits to the accent are nice. I'll look over the rest and see what I can come up with or point out, hopefully.

…

Here is where you put reminders for things you want to write or need to write next. You can also use this for brainstorming ideas.

The story can be changed as much as we want, but there are some things that I want to keep:

- I want to keep the special containment procedures and description short and simple, at least able to fit into a physical SCP document (I have a format and will check if it fits with every major edit).

- Dr. Clarkson, Dr. Tyson, and Dr. Chmielewska must all still be there, they are important for future projects of mine if this is successful.

- No D-Class.

- Charlie must stay as low-risk class.

- ferret

- I want this to be 5193 if possible.

- Site-93

The Anomaly

Female domesticated ferret.
Sapient and capable of speaking.
Pleasant attitude, caring/matronly personality.
Able to cook (and enjoys doing so).

Characters

SCP-XXXX, "Charlie"
- The anomalous talking ferret.
- …

Dr. Clarkson
- Foundation Junior Researcher.
- Designated to conduct interviews with SCP-XXXX.
- Some sort of veterinary expertise (?). Would provide logical reason that he is primarily appointed to conduct meetings with the ferret.
- …

Dr. Chmielewska
- Foundation Researcher.
- Head researcher on SCP-XXXX; reviewing content of interviews.
- Involuntarily transferred to work assignment at Site-93 after once being deemed accountable for a Breach Incident resulting in casualties.
- …

Dr. Tyson
- Foundation Researcher / Site Director
- Senior ranking; delegates assignments.
- Voluntarily transferred to a Director role at Site-93; from same previous Facility as Dr. Chmielewska.
- …

Narrative

Anomaly is taken into Foundation custody, research begins.
- Question: How did this happen? Not for the purposes of fully writing a Recovery Log or anything, just to have a frame of reference in mind for how Charlie wound up in the care of Site-93.
A couple interviews to establish some of the SCP's character traits.
Over time, the SCP becomes fed up with being kept in containment and develops negative feelings toward the Foundation staff. (?)
…

Narrative Bits (Throughout Arc Of Interviews)

Basic introduction.

Charlie is willing to speak openly and tries to be friendly.

Dr. Clarkson is trying to stay rigidly professional; possibly nervous about speaking off-script and seeming unprofessional.
- Clarkson insists on using "SCP-XXXX" instead of "Charlie".
- Clarkson is reluctant to stray from the itinerary of the basic interview outline.
- Clarkson is hesitant to eat untested soup made by an SCP (?)

Dr. Chmielewska makes a note to Clarkson - concerned that he is having issues in the role of interviewer, tells him to do better going forward.
- Current version may need to tone down anything too brazenly unproffessional. Can keep that type of attitude, but should dial it back a little when writing a Note that will end up documented in the SCP file. Better.

Dr. Clarkson … goes on to make things worse instead (?)

Charlie has an emotional outburst directed at Clarkson, refuses to cooperate with further Testing or Interviews.

Dr. Tyson intervenes in the situation.
- He personally restores the rapport between Charlie and the Foundation (?)
- And/or gives Clarkson a talk which more effectively instills in him the intended message about willingness to improvise and engage with interview subjects when appropriate to do so. (?)

Final "happy ending" interview, where we see Clarkson interacting with Charlie more freely and effectively.

Research

Interviews (As in Draft 1 original)

First Interview
- Introduction
- Some basic background history of Charlie
- …

Second Interview
- Demonstrate Charlie's ability and joy for cooking
- Possibly some rapport building between Clarkson and Charlie
- …

Third Interview
- Clarkson concerned about appearing professional, denies any personal affection for Charlie
- Charlie is upset, feels rebuffed
- …

Fourth Interview
- Dr Tyson conducts this interview himself
- Charlie does a math quiz
- …

Fifth Interview
- Clarkson returns to interviewing
- Charlie is happy again to see him
- Clarkson trying to bluff Charlie into being more cooperative with testing (?)
- …

Interviews (As for Draft 2 version)

First Interview
- Introduction
- Some basic background info about Charlie
- Clarkson hastily terminates the interview
- …

Second Interview
- Further demonstrate Charlie's ability and joy for cooking
- Clarkson markedly divided between letting his guard down and appearing to be properly professional
- …

Third Interview
- Charlie is decidedly agitated by Clarkson and his faux-affable phony attitude
- SCP becoming uncooperative with Testing prompts Dr. C to give Clarkson a warning about doing what gets the job done instead of fussing over appearances (?)
- …

…

Item#: xxxx

Level2

Containment Class:

safe

Secondary Class:

none

Disruption Class:

dark

Risk Class:

notice

link to memo

SCP-XXXX

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in Site-49 in a standard level 2 containment chamber. Per request of SCP-XXXX, only a single researcher is to enter the containment chamber at any given interval.

SCP-XXXX is allowed Foundation resources, including kitchenware and foodstuffs, if/when requested.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a female domesticated European polecat or "Ferret". SCP-XXXX is compliant and amicable with its handlers. SCP-XXXX answers to the name "Charlie", and has no physical abnormalities; however, it is sapient, behaving atypically from nonanomalous ferrets, and is capable of speech, speaking English in a thick, Scouse accent. SCP-XXXX also claims to speak Arabic, although it has yet to prove this claim.

- _
+ Interview Log XXXX-1a - Close

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: Weekly interview log between researcher and SCP-XXXX.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: Junior Researcher Richard Clarkson, assigned SCP-XXXX Interview Logs, Log XXXX-1a. We ask that you cooperate and answer the following questions truthfully. Immediate action will be taken if you fail to cooperate.

SCP-XXXX: I do not intend on jarggin' your research, Mr. Clarkson.

Dr. Clarkson: Do you know when and/or why you were created?

SCP-XXXX: I believe I was born just like any other ferret was, abar nine years ago in Northern Africa, and I was taken from me home not long after and brought to a quaint, well in town called "Liverpool".

Dr. Clarkson: Do you know how and/or when you gained your anomalous properties?

SCP-XXXX: If you are referring to me talkin', I ha' been speakin' for as long as I can remember, I believe I was born with it. English ain't my first language. I began speakin' an Afroasiatic Semitic language called Arabic before I learned English. I caught the Scouse accent from growin' up in Liverpool.

Dr. Clarkson: What about your ability to cook?

SCP-XXXX: That is a more personal question, and I can hear the curiosity in your voice. That jarg question isn't on your paper, is it?

Dr. Clarkson: I- um-

SCP-XXXX chuckles.

SCP-XXXX: I learned to cook not long after I was brought to Liverpool, I was interested in the cookin' shows me owner would watch on the tele and she offered me lessons. Oh, she was proper skint, but sound nonetheless. She only ever spent her pounds on a bevvie or two, but started buyin' some scran when I had an interest in cookin'. She cared for me like no other did, she was like me ma' to me.

There is a moment of silence.

SCP-XXXX: Is me accent too thick for youse? Like-

Dr. Clarkson: There will be no further questions asked.

SCP-XXXX: G'wed, if youse ever decide to come back, don't be so stern. Open up, it's okay to be geggin' in, I don't mind. Ta-ra, Mr. Clarkson.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: SCP-XXXX's Scouse accent is difficult to understand at times. Further interviews requested.

- _
+ Interview Log XXXX-1p - Close

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: Weekly interview log between researcher and SCP-XXXX.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: Afternoon, XXXX

SCP-XXXX: Afternoon, Mr. Clarkson, and please, call me Charlie.

Dr. Clarkson: Today I am here to inspect your dishes.

SCP-XXXX: Abar time! I have been waitin' for any of youse chocka beauts to send in one youse lads to taste my well in scran! I was begginin' to thing youse was blaggin' me 'ead or youse couldn't be arsed, az if!

There is a moment of silence.

SCP-XXXX: I'll jus' get youse some a that scran.

SCP-XXXX makes the dish in around 30 minutes before bringing it to Dr. Clarkson

SCP-XXXX: It's the most I could do in the short time youse have to spend here.

Dr. Clarkson samples the dish.

SCP-XXXX: It's an old vegetable broth that me ma' use' to make me whenever I was feelin' under d' weather.

Dr. Clarkson: Mhm.

Dr. Clarkson writes down the following notes: "SCP-XXXX's resulting dish does not have anomalous effects upon consumption."

SCP-XXXX: Well? Is it sound? It was tasted proper boss when I tasted it myself.

Dr. Clarkson: It is pretty good, actually. I have never been one for soups. Did you put anything else in this?

SCP-XXXX: Nothin' more than the ingredients youse given me. But most of the carrots ain't fresh.

Dr. Clarkson: I will request fresher ingredients for you.

SCP-XXXX: Ay, ya don't have too! The stuff I'm makin' is fine as is.

Dr. Clarkson: Its the least I could do for you.

SCP-XXXX: Well that implies that ya could be doin' a whole lot more.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Request to bring SCP-XXXX fresher vegetables pending approval.

- _
+ Interview Log XXXX-2f - Close

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: Weekly interview log between researcher and SCP-XXXX.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: Hello again.

SCP-XXXX: Afternoon, Mr. Clarkson.

Dr. Clarkson: You know the drill by now.

SCP-XXXX: May we skip the first few questions today? A brand new recipe for a broth came to me in me kip last night.

Dr. Clarkson: It is standard, you know that.

SCP-XXXX: Well it doesn't seem like youse want to ask the questions any more than I want to answer em, maybe less. Why can't we just be havin' a heart to heart?

Dr. Clarkson: These interviews must stay professional.

SCP-XXXX: What is defined as "professional"?

Dr. Clarkson: I am not required to answer any questions you ask me.

SCP-XXXX: Dick, we ha' been speaking for months now.

Dr. Clarkson: Emotional connections between personnel and contained anomalies is prohibited.

SCP-XXXX: Do we not have a connection? I always thought we were sound friends.

Dr. Clarkson: I know you well.

SCP-XXXX: Know me well? Is that it? Do we not have anythin' else?

Dr. Clarkson: Personnel and subject are not allowed to have any type of bond. I ask you these questions for the sake of research.

SCP-XXXX: Research? Ya say that as if that's all ya see me as! Just a test subject to experiment on! Ya say that like I'm nothin' to youze!

Dr. Clarkson: Well- Maybe I have grown a slight attachment..

SCP-XXXX scurries across the desk to face Dr. Clarkson.

SCP-XXXX: "A slight attachment" ya say?

Dr. Clarkson: I rarely have anyone else to talk to around here.

SCP-XXXX: Open up a bit! I can tell youse, I ain't the bitin' kind.

Dr. Clarkson: … well then-

Dr. Clarkson is seen turning off the audio recorder and conversing with SCP-XXXX for 30 minutes before leaving the containment chamber.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Dr. Clarkson insists that the information he has collected from conversing with SCP-XXXX will help further research on it's anomalous properties.

Notes: As long as these conversations are beneficial to research than he can talk for as long as he wants. He has been getting a lot more information from it than anyone else who has entered that room has.

- Dr. Chmielewska

- _
+ Interview Log XXXX-2g - Close

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Researcher, Doctor Henry Newt Tyson

Foreword: Weekly interview log between researcher and SCP-XXXX.

<Begin Log>

SCP-XXXX is currently cooking.

Dr. Tyson: SCP-XXXX?

SCP-XXXX: Aye? Who are youse?

Dr. Tyson: I am Doctor Tyson. I have a few questions for you.

SCP-XXXX: If its 'bout Dick, I swear I didn't know he was lactose intolerant.

Dr. Tyson: He is alright, but that is not what I am here to ask you about.

Dr. Tyson puts a paper of simple math problems on the table, SCP-XXXX climbs onto the table.

SCP-XXXX: Ay, youse must think I'm a blert don't ya? Is it 'cause I'm a ferret?

Dr. Tyson: It's just a simple test.

SCP-XXXX: less than simple, Mr. Tyson.

Dr. Tyson hands SCP-XXXX a small pencil, SCP-XXXX correctly answers every problem in neat cursive. Dr. Tyson looks over the paper before exiting the containment chamber.

SCP-XXXX: Bring me somethin' harder next time!

<End Log>

Closing Statement: SCP-XXXX shows basic mathematical knowledge. Further tests will determine how much it know.

Note: Do you believe she could be of help to the Foundation? We have enough anomalous personnel that should be designated entities. Then again, this specific site doesn't have any. Let's just see where this goes.

- Dr. Chmielewska

- _
+ Interview Log XXXX-2j - Close

IN PROCCESS OF BEING REWRITTEN

Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: Weekly interview log between researcher and SCP-XXXX.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: Charlie?

SCP-XXXX: Dick! Where have ya been? Did that dairy really do a number on youse?

Dr. Clarkson: I'm fine now. No more butter in those dishes, though.

SCP-XXXX: Right.

Dr. Clarkson: Anyway, the other researchers and I have been discussing some … uses for you.

SCP-XXXX: I hope ya don't mean youse gonna use me as a tool or anythin'.

Dr. Clarkson: Think of how our research could benefit her and the rest of humanity!

SCP-XXXX: I'm thinkin', I don't see any benefits.

Dr. Clarkson: Our research could help us… discover what gave you these… gifts.

SCP-XXXX: …I'm listening.

Dr. Clarkson: With your help we could discover why you can speak and cook such amazing foods, and maybe find out how other animals could do the same! It could benefit everyone who has an animal companion! Everyone could share a bond with animals like the one you had with your owner.

SCP-XXXX: R-really?

Dr. Clarkson: That's what we are here to do.

SCP-XXXX: Ev'ry one should have to same connection I had wit' her. I can't imagine how anyone else could live without a friendship like that!

Dr. Clarkson: So, will you do it?

SCP-XXXX: Is right!

Dr. Clarkson: Fantastic, your contribution to our research is greatly appreciated.

SCP-XXXX: This is for the brighter future of animals, Mr. Clarkson!

<End Log>

Closing Statement: SCP-XXXX has been convinced to allow further research to take place. Please be advised that the Foundation does not intend to use research and valuable resources to advance animal evolution in any way.

Note: Very good, Dr. Clarkson. We have another object that has been brought in from ██████, Alaska. You will be moved to your new assignment in two weeks, I am sure you will take a liking to this one.

- Dr. Tyson

Edited versions 1

First Interview

Interview Subject: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: This is the first of SCP-XXXX's weekly interview sessions with Site-93 personnel.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: This is Junior Researcher Richard Clarkson speaking, conducting initial research interview with SCP-XXXX. I ask that you answer the following questions to the best of your ability.

SCP-XXXX: I do not intend on jarggin' your research, Mr. Clarkson.

Dr. Clarkson: Ok. What can you tell me about your origins, or your earliest memories?

SCP-XXXX: I believe I was born just like any other ferret was, abar nine years ago in Northern Africa. Then I was taken from me home not long after and brought to a quaint, well in town called "Liverpool".

Dr. Clarkson: Have you had these anomalous properties for your whole life then?

SCP-XXXX: If you are referring to me talkin', I ha' been speakin' for as long as I can remember. I believe I was born with it. English ain't my first language. I began speakin' in Arabic before I learned English. And then I caught the Scouse accent from growin' up in Liverpool.

Dr. Clarkson: And you… are able to cook? Is that right?

SCP-XXXX: That is a more personal question, and I can hear the curiosity in your voice. That jarg question isn't on your paper, is it?

Dr. Clarkson: I- um-

SCP-XXXX chuckles.

SCP-XXXX: Aye, I learned to cook not long after I was brought to Liverpool. Ol' [owner name] used to watch cookin' programs on the telly all the time; I picked up on the lessons after a while. Oh, she was proper skint, but sound nonetheless. She'd only ever spend her pounds on a bevvie or two, but started buyin' some scran when I showed off an interest in cookin'. She cared for me like no other did! She was like me ma' to me…

There is a moment of silence.

SCP-XXXX: Is me accent too thick for youse? Like-

Dr. Clarkson: There will be no further questions at this time.

Dr. Clarkson stands and moves to the door.

SCP-XXXX: G'wed, if youse ever decide to come back, don't be so stern. Open up, it's okay to be geggin' in, I don't mind. Ta-ra, Mr. Clarkson.

<End Log>

Afterword: Please review this transcription for any errors which may be due to difficulty in understanding the speech patterns of SCP-XXXX. - Dr. Paul

No notable issues detected. If the accent is an issue for other researchers, I will volunteer to conduct further interviews. - Dr. Clarkson

Second Interview

Interview Subject: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: Weekly interview session with SCP-XXXX.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: Hello, XXXX.

SCP-XXXX: Good afternoon, Mr. Clarkson! And please, call me Charlie.

Dr. Clarkson: Today I am here to inspect the results your cooking.

SCP-XXXX: Abar time! I have been waitin' for any of youse chocka beauts to send in one youse lads to taste my well in scran! I was begginin' to thing youse was blaggin' me 'ead or youse couldn't be arsed, az if!

There is a moment of silence.

SCP-XXXX: I'll jus' get youse some a that scran.

SCP-XXXX makes the dish in around 30 minutes before bringing it to Dr. Clarkson

SCP-XXXX: It's the most I could do in the short time youse have to spend here.

Dr. Clarkson samples the dish.

SCP-XXXX: It's an old vegetable broth that me ma' use' to make me whenever I was feelin' under d' weather. Too bad we ferrets can't eat anythin' but meats.

Dr. Clarkson: Mhm.

Dr. Clarkson writes down the following notes: "SCP-XXXX's resulting dish does not have anomalous effects upon consumption."

SCP-XXXX: Well? Is it sound? It was tasted proper boss when I tasted it myself.

Dr. Clarkson: It is pretty good, actually. I have never been one for soups. Did you put anything else in this?

SCP-XXXX: Nothin' more than the ingredients youse given me. But most of the carrots ain't fresh.

Dr. Clarkson: I will request fresher ingredients for you.

SCP-XXXX: Ay, ya don't have too! The stuff I'm makin' is fine as is.

Dr. Clarkson: Its the least I could do for you.

SCP-XXXX: Well that implies that ya could be doin' a whole lot more.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Request to bring SCP-XXXX fresher vegetables pending approval.

Notes: Continue with the logs as normal, but please try and open up a bit? Just don't be too stiff so that it can trust you. We can always replace you if your work is not adequate. - Dr. Chmielewska

…

SCP Sandbox III

Sandbox III: Revenge of the Sandbox

CURRENT ARTICLE:

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: