Item #: SCP-XX-J
Object Class: Super Apollyon1
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XX-J is to be kept in the former containment vault for SCP-3199. No one is to interact with SCP-XX-J in any way. All biological necessities are to be delivered via pneumatic tube. Any and all statements made by SCP-XX-J are to be disregarded. Do not believe its lies. SCP-XX-J does not work for the Foundation.
Description: SCP-XX-J is a humanoid organism that is anomalously incapable of telling the truth. If an individual attempts to engage in conversation with SCP-XX-J, it will invariably attempt to convince the listener that it works for the Foundation. SCP-XX-J does not work for the Foundation. If the individual believes these lies and/or attempts to aid SCP-XX-J in any way, they will immediately explode into a bajillion bloody pieces and then die. Not to put too fine a point on it, SCP-XX-J is very magic and it will kill you.
The only individual known to have encountered SCP-XX-J and survived is Containment Intern Scooter Hamstein, former assistant to the late Senior Containment Supervisor Rudolf Jackson. During a routine observation session of SCP-3199, Dr. Jackson (NOT Scooter the intern) accidentally leaned against the activation lever for the Emergency Release Failsafe, resulting in an immediate containment breach.
In the ensuing battle, Dr. Jackson was tragically as a result of SCP-3199’s anomalous chicken powers. Shortly thereafter, Junior Researcher Scooter witnessed the emergence of SCP-XX-J, and with unmatched bravery and skill, managed to contain the anomaly in SCP-3199’s former chamber.
Junior Researcher Scooter has described SCP-XX-J’s appearance as ‘ghastly’, ‘appalling’, and ‘Medusa-esque’. SCP-XX-J does not work for the Foundation.
Addendum: Three months after initial containment of SCP-XX-J, Vice Senior Containment Supervisor Bauer expressed doubts about the veracity of Junior Researcher Scooter’s claims regarding the containment breach. After a vote by the O5 Council, Dr. Bauer was permitted to directly observe SCP-XX-J to confirm its anomalous properties.
[Begin Log]
SCP-XX-J: Lawrence! Lawrence! Oh, thank god! Lawrence!
Bauer: Rudy?
SCP-XX-J: Yes, it’s me!
Bauer: Fuck, I knew something was up! They’ve been saying you were dead, Rudy! What are you doing in there? Why are you covered in blank paint? And are those…?
SCP-XX-J: Googly eyes, yes. It’s a long story. I’ve been in here for months, Lawrence, you have to let me out.
Bauer: Sure thing. I tell ya, this whole thing smelled of bullshit from the get-go. As a matter of protocol, though, I’ll need you to confirm your identity real quick. Just tell me something only the real Rudy would know.
SCP-XX-J: Oh, that’s easy! Last year, when we were both feeling lonely and horny, you invited me over for drinks, but you overdid it on the tequila before we could start fooling around, and you ended up crying and singing Welcome to the Black Parade while whizzing in your bathtub, and then your cat—
Bauer: I’ve seen all I needed. Anomaly confirmed. Command, I’m ready for extraction.
SCP-XX-J: Wait! Sorry! Let me just give you my social security num—
[End Log]
Afterword: Interview terminated before SCP-XX-J could spread any further falsehoods. Junior Researcher Scooter was later awarded a Foundation Star for his efforts in initiating containment of SCP-XX-J, as well as discovering the edible and nutritional properties of SCP-3199. SCP-XX-J does not work for the Foundation.