Ruiz Duchamp Memorial Sandbox

Cool War 2

Season One

Act One: "Graverobbing Is A Victimless Crime"

• wowwee un kill ursefl
• Fifty Percent Off Everything
• Joey and Overgang and Rita and Molly and Zombies
• Noxious Fumes Fill the Area
• The Second Cool War Begins

Act Two: "The Monday Exhibition"

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Timeline

wowwee un kill ursefl - The Gang Digs Up Ruiz Duchamp's Corpse
Joey & Overgang & Rita & Molly & Zombies - JORM hear about Ruiz, assume the worst
The Second Cool War Begins - news spreads and people react to further faux-Ruiz artworks
Agent Green Shoots A Gun
Ruiz Dies Again

ty's timeline concept/notes:

• wowwee un kill ursefl - The Gang Digs Up Ruiz Duchamp's Corpse [i want to write this or co-write it, and I think it should start with showing the actual graverobbing, dark and stormy night style]
• Art is a Gateway Drug [placeholder title — i think we gotta smooth out the approach if we want this to feel like a true road-trip story, so this is more travelling and bonding and such. maybe shifting some of the starting action here lets wowwee focus on being a punchy intro]
• Joey & Overgang & Rita & Molly & Zombies - JORM hear about Ruiz, assume the worst
• The Second Cool War Begins - news spreads and people react to further faux-Ruiz artworks [maybe some vignettes of the team pissing people off are here?]
• The Warmup Act [placeholder title — another smooth-out installment. this could be them arriving at the destination and setting things up]
• Agent Green Shoots A Gun [iffy on this title, depends on how significant green ends up being to the overall plot]
• Ruiz Dies Again [this could be melded with the climax tale depending on how much denouement it really needs]

ty questions: what's the engagement of JORM with the story after zombies? if they're gonna factor in to the story they'll need some sort of momentum

• ch00 answers: maybe they're tracking Ruiz across the US? like, they show up just after the gang leaves new york, loaded for zombie, maybe they do bump into an incidental undead incident?

Warmup Act? 2CWB?

Felicity poked the corpse. It didn't poke back.

"Well, we've got him. Good job on the grave, Tanks, I think we fooled the church."

Tanksy, the Tankie Banksy, grunted and kept his eyes on the road. He was the only one with a driver's license. (Felicity could drive. But she never got around to taking the driver's test, and her learner's permit expired like six years ago. She kept it around for slipping latches and pushing white powders into neat little lines.)

"Eloquent as always, Tanks. So, next stop, Wall Street, yeah?"

The 3D printer in the back seat whirred to life, laying down filament at a speed that would have your average 3D printer aficionado creaming their jeans. It produced a one-twenty-fourth scale model of Felicity getting beaten by several police officers, while the Wall Street Bull looked on.

"The cops won't even see me. I've got an invisibility cloak. Borrowed the technique from that lady with the non-euclidean textiles."

The model dissolved and was absorbed back into the printer. It started printing again. This time, the tiny Felicity was getting jostled by a mass of tourists, her invisibility cloak lost beneath the crowd's feet.

"Do you have any constructive criticism, or are you just striking down my ideas like a toddler smashing a block tower made of my ideas?"

A crescent moon, complete with cartoon face sticking its tongue out.

"It's actually waning gibbous tonight."

A raised middle finger.

"Fuck you too, Cass. Ok, we wait for nightfall. Tanksy!"

Tanksy, the Tankie Banksy, grunted again. He was sick of New York traffic.

"To Times Square! We're gonna go to Olive Garden."

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The Times Square Olive Garden was a miserable place, made more miserable by the people. The tourists, Midwestern moms with hordes of children, Korean retirees in "I <3 New York" bucket hats, British honeymooners regretting choosing here over Mallorca; the employees, bitter chain-smoking line cooks with bad tattoos, faux-chipper college students considering moving back in with Mom, middle-aged mothers working three jobs to pay for their kids' medical bills; and, perhaps worst of all, the locals, chain retail store assistant managers on forgettable second dates, accounting-department widowers treating themselves to a nice lunch, smug bespectacled twenty-somethings live-tweeting their experience for their hipster friends.

Bristol assumed that the newest walk-ins were the latter. (She, being one of the secret architects of a global conspiracy, was in none of the typical categories, though she was an employee on paper.) A scruffy white guy in an army-surplus jacket and a Che Guevara hat; a chick who kind of looked like Scarlett Johansson playing an art school drop out; another guy in a cap and sunglasses, clearly either stoned, hungover, or both, half-asleep in the booth. They'd also brought a 3D printer in with them. She decided to ignore it.

"Welcome to Olive Garden! How are we all doing today?"

"Fan-freaking-tastic." She really did look a lot like Scarlett Johansson. Like, if you had to find someone to play Scarlett Johansson in a biopic, she'd be perfect.

ty's dialogue musings

"Isn't that a bit unoriginal?"

"God, I'm sick of hearing that. Nothing is original. We're all just repeating things we heard three years ago and signing our names on it. Why can't we just be honest for once, and sign someone else's name?"

"How can you add anything if you're not even trying to do something new?"

"You think a sculptor stops after the first time her chisel touches the marble? You think she's concerned that doing it again would be unoriginal? Anyone can do something once. Repetition is what gives it meaning."

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"Can't we make some kind of deal? You seem inspired. We could find a place for you. How about The Copier?"

"Oh, please. Get out of here with that proper noun shit. It's the kind of sincerity that saps all cleverness out of the room."

Dramatis Personae

Tanksy, the Tankie Banksy

• marxist-leninist-podcastist
• cisgender heterosexual white male
• does not fuck
• true neutral, thinks he's lawful good
• yells "i won't hesitate, bitch!" first
• halfway between "McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!" and "We have food at home."
• anomalous street art, anomalous podcasts, anomalous propaganda zines
• host of Are We Antirevisionist Yet?, the only orthodox marxist-leninist anart podcast

Felicity Baudin, the Plagiarist

• damsel under stress
• trans and chaotic bisexual
• i think i will cause problems on purpose
• chaotic non-vaper
• owns a skateboard but cannot skate
• mommy issues
• once replaced an entire art gallery with perfect copies. no-one noticed
• "Pissing off the Man is, to quote Bob Ross, a happy little accident."

Casio "Cass" Unsure, the 3D Printer

• A 3D printer
• powered by a forsaken child, and by "child" I mean "college student" and by "forsaken" i mean "moody"
• accidentally ripped their own soul out and stuck it in their final engineering project, got a B+
• gender, sexuality, former name erased in the transfer; doesn't really care
• concert pianist; black belt in taekwondo; semi-professional DOTA player. none of these matter, because they don't have fucking hands any more.
• lawful sarcastic
• gets a single black coffee and leaves