Spooks

Object #: 4400

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4400 is currently held in Site-66. SCP-4400 be kept with at least one pre-selected D-Class at all times. Criteria for selected D-Class include:

• Conviction of anger-related crimes. Foundation psychological assessment must result in a score of R-75 or higher.
• Conviction of crimes featuring excessive violence. Foundation psychological assessment must result in a score of U-90 or higher.
• Conviction of crimes influenced by greed or immediate self-interest. Foundation psychological assessment must result in a score of T-15 or lower.

In the event of a containment breach, the use of violence against the entity is strictly forbidden. Should SCP-4400 breach containment, banana peels, and wet floor signs are to be deployed near all possible exit points. The following re-containment procedures have been approved in observance of SCP-4400's unconventional containment breach attempts.

METHOD OF CONTAINMENT BREACH	RECAPTURE METHOD
Digging	Insert the hose of a high-powered vacuum cleaner to the hole created by SCP-4400. The entity may remain within the vaccuum bag until the hole is sealed.
Flight	Utilizing a megaphone, inform SCP-4400 that it is flying without a pilot's license, and advise it may obtain one within its containment chamber.
Disguise	Utilize the Site-66 intercom to request Dr. Friday's presence in SCP-4400's containment chamber.
Musical Performance	Staff witnessing a musical performance are to encourage SCP-4400 with encores until capture may be secured via the use of an oversized shepherd's crook.

Description: SCP-4400 is an anthropomorphic bipedal vulpus zerda (fennec fox). SCP-4400 is measured at 1.7m tall, and, of particular note, its cranium and facial features have a width of 35 cm, uncommon for species of vulpus zerda. SCP-4400 wears two gray gloves on its forepaws, of unknown make and design, with no visible branding, and, similarly, will often be seen wearing a variety of clothing that perfectly fit its unique proportions.

SCP-4400 possesses sentience, as well as the ability to vocalize similar to humans. SCP-4400 vocalizes in a distinct accent, seeming to originate from northern areas of the United States but with frequent vocabulary native to the New York region. While SCP-4400 displays impressive intelligence and cunning, interviews with it have so far been inconclusive in establishing origin, capabilities or motives.

SCP-4400 operates on a constant drive to perform increasingly ludicrous antics and comedic farces, and, at any given time, will choose a suitable victim, or "target" for its comedic endeavors. Once selected, that person, animal or object will be subject to similar physically impossible durability as SCP-4400's own. There currently is no set limit to who SCP-4400 will select as its next "target", only that it must somehow witness the subject and it seems to prefer subjects with traits of violence, anger, and percieved selfishness. SCP-4400's "target" will cease being targetted by it once SCP-4400 has sufficiently incapacitated its victim, either through slapstick violence or mental overload, in which scenario the subject will lose all anomalous properties and SCP-4400 will proceed to select its next "target". SCP-4400 will ignore previous "targets" unless provoked by one, in which case it will re-select that subject as a "target" once more. If SCP-4400 has already chosen a "target" it has not yet incapacitated and it is provoked by another party, both subjects will become its "targets" and it will seek out another victim once all current "targets" are sufficiently incapacitated.

SCP-4400 is not inherently malicious or violent, and will only resort to violence against a party when it is attacked first. If SCP-4400 selects a subject as its next "target", it will continuously provoke said subject until the subject attacks it first. The only known way to deter SCP-4400 if it has targetted someone is by ignoring or tolerating it, in which scenario it will eventually become bored by its target and search for a new one. For this reason, it is important to employ non-violent measures when handling and interviewing SCP-4400, so as to not become targetted by the entity. While incredibly difficult to contain and frequently lost, SCP-4400 has yet to fatally harm any subject it has targetted, though prior "targets" to SCP-4400 report the experience to be "excruciatingly painful" and, more commonly, "humiliating".

SCP-4400 is capable of large-scale reality manipulation, and uses it to enact elaborate comedy or as a means of self-defense. Though anti-anomaly devices seem to slightly curb its abilities, SCP-4400 has displayed knowledge, albeit limited, of their operation and has taught itself means to disable them. SCP-4400 list of capabilities include:

• Ability to sustain normally fatal injuries and recover instantly, with no signs of permanent damage.
• Ability to alter its own proportions and anatomy in accordance to injuries sustained or in response to interactions with its environment.
• Ability to manifest a seemingly limitless amount of various objects, including basic weaponry such as baseball bats, hammers, boxing gloves, pastries and dynamite. Advanced weaponry such as firearms and laser and plasma-based weaponry. It is also capable of manifesting clothing of different eras, occupations and styles, such as laboratory coats, business suits, military uniforms, sports uniforms, assorted elaborately-tailored gowns and dresses (with corresponding wigs), and medieval armor.
• Manipulation of statistical probabilities.
• Ability to suspend itself in midair for up to approximately 10 seconds, often in realization of its position before it falls from extreme heights.
• Ability to achieve flight through crude measures, such as wingsuits constructed of blankets belonging to D-Class personnel and wooden stakes of unknown origin. Spinning its tail or other objects at sufficient speeds so as to imitate a propellor, or ingesting large quantities of helium and expanding its body.
• Ability to suspend or limit mental capacity in subjects, so as to facilitate it's ability to convince subjects of various (often ludicrous and false) scenarios it proposes.
• Ability to alter physics within its immediate vicinity.

The following is an interview log between SCP-4400 and Dr Harpel, lead researcher of site-14.

[BEGIN LOG]
Harpel: Hello SCP-4400, I am Dr Harpel with The SCP Foundation. How are you today?

[SCP-4400 suddenly manifests with a plain white lab coat and thick spectacles]

SCP-4400: Dr Harpel? Why are you interviewing me?

Harpel: Why? Because you're an SCP of course- wait. You're in a lab coat. Who are you?

SCP-4400: Who am I? WHO AM I?

[SCP-4400 stands up and begins to gesture to itself wildly]

SCP-4400: I'M DR TERRY HUNDERT, LEVEL 4 OVERSEER OF SITES 46, 31, 25, 13, 7-11, 3.14 AND 60! How can you not know who I am?

Harpel: Dr Hundert? Oh my! I'm so sorry, sir! I… I really didn't notice. I've just been so busy containing this bipedal fox-

SCP-4400: And you thought he was me? Tell me, doctor, what's your name?

Harpel: D-Doctor Jennifer Harpel, sir.

SCP-4400: Are you saying I look like a bipedal fox to you, Harpel?

Harpel: Oh no! Not at all, sir!

[SCP-4400 conjures a miniature flashlight and begins to inspect DR HARPEL's eyes]

SCP-4400: Mmmmmm, I see. Tsk tsk tsk. I've seen this before in good researchers. Always a tragedy.

Harpel: Seen what? Sir?

SCP-4400: You're under the effects of a Cognitohazard. Makes any human you see look like woodland animals. I'm afraid you're not Dr Harpel anymore. Your new classification is SCP-362849-B.

Harpel: A-A Cognitohazard? No! When did this happen?

SCP-4400: Made any contact with any anomalies in the last week?

Harpel: I-I mean, obviously I have. It's my job.

SCP-4400: Well, I'm afraid it's usually permanent. You'll be under review by the O5 to see if you can continue your duties with the Foundation or if we'll have to contain ya.

Harpel: I can't be contained! I-I have a fiance! Please Dr Hundert, there has to be some way I can still be of use!

[SCP-4400 shakes DR HARPEL's hand excitedly]

SCP-4400: Good news, Harpel! The O5 deemed ya good to go! You're a free woman! You can continue working with the Foundation! You've got a good head on your shoulders, Doctor!

Harpel: Oh, thank God!

SCP-4400: What're ya doin' sittin' around? Some lead researcher you are! There are anomalies to contain! Memes to study!

[DR HARPEL begins to quickly stumble onto her feet, seemingly panicked. SCP-4400 conjures a bright red, lit stick of dynamite from the right-hand pocket of its lab coat and passes it to DR HARPEL]

SCP-4400: Quick! Take this SCP and put it in a containment chamber! On the double! Triple! Quadruple!

[DR HARPEL nods vigorously]

Dr Harpel: Y-Yes sir! I will, sir!

[DR HARPEL hurriedly exits the interview chamber holding the lit stick of dynamite. SCP-4400 sits back down, seeming satisfied. Approx. 3 seconds after DR HARPEL exited the interview chamber, a noticeably loud explosion can be heard. 6 second after exiting the interview chamber, dark plumes of smoke can be seen creeping into the interview chamber from the open door. SCP-4400 begins to laugh, before turning to the interview camera to address monitoring research team]

SCP-4400: Well, rats to that! Hah-hah!

[SCP-4400 winks to the camera]

[END OF LOG]

Record of Containment Breaches

Below transcribed is every recorded containment breach SCP-4400 has caused. Article is to be revised and updated frequently in the event of new containment breaches. It is currently theorized that SCP-4400 escapes containment whenever it is seeking new "targets" or refuses to target assigned D-Class personnel.

DATE:
BREACH REPORT:
LOCATED:
RETRIEVAL AND RECONTAINMENT:

DATE: 6/21/2010
BREACH REPORT: SCP-4400 conjured a phone and proceeded to order a pizza from a non-existent pizza chain dubbed "Papa Pepperoni's". SCP-4400 then conjured a stopwatch and began to stamp its foot impatiently, seemingly waiting for its order to arrive. 30 seconds later, a large humanoid dressed in typical pizza restaurant uniform and holding a typical container for pizza pies manifested directly outside of SCP-4400's chamber. The humanoid knocked on the door, which then proceeded to open as SCP-4400 accepted the pizza's container from the delivery person and conjured a bill equalling $20 USD and various coins of unknown make and model, procured from an unseen "pocket" in its fur. When humanoid refused to leave, and despite ample opportunity to escape during this time, SCP-4400 turned to D-551930, who had been assigned to it, and requested that he "tip" the delivery person. D-551930 suddenly procured a bill equalling $5 USD from pocket within his jumpsuit, which he then offered to the delivery person. D-551930 claimed that the humanoid "looked normal", but that for some reason, it was so tall that he was unable to view it past its shoulders. After payment to the delivery person, containment door re-shut with SCP-4400 still inside. SCP-4400 proceeded to open the pizza's container to reveal a cheese pizza with Site-66 card keys as "toppings". SCP-4400 procured a card key from the pie and used it to override its own containment, escaping its chamber.
LOCATED: Reading a directory of the facility, seemingly lost and attempting to locate the exit.
RETRIEVAL AND RECONTAINMENT: SCP-4400 misread facility directory and somehow guided itself back into its own chamber. SCP-4400 took 8 seconds to realize it had returned to its chamber, before its head briefly morphed to form an imitation of Africanus asinus. Afterwards SCP-4400 heard loudly exclaiming "Rats to this!".

DATE: 07/15/2010
BREACH REPORT: SCP-4400 manifested a pickaxe and began chipping at its containment chamber walls. Despite the fact that material used in constructing Foundation containment units was previously confirmed to be impervious to blunt force not exceeding 5000 PSI, SCP-4400 dug its way through its chamber walls with ease.
LOCATED: In staff breakroom, attempting to change the radio station because it "couldn't stand country music".
RETRIEVAL AND RECONTAINMENT: Site-66 placed a trained mouse in the staff breakroom. Upon noticing the mouse, SCP-4400 immediately gave chase, somehow being unable to catch it despite it previously clocking in speeds of over 200/mph on foot. Mouse succesfully lead SCP-4400 back into its containment chamber, and SCP-4400 proceeded to plug its own hole using cement it had manifested to prevent the mouse's escape. Mouse was devoured by SCP-4400.
NOTES: First known instance of SCP-4400 being capable of actual permanent harm to a living being.

DATE: 7/31/2010
BREACH REPORT: SCP-4400 manifested an amulet around its neck and a white lab coat and began to loudly address monitoring researchers. SCP-4400 claimed to be Dr Jack Bright and that he had been locked in the containment chamber by mistake. Research team believed SCP-4400 to be Dr Bright and opened containment chamber door, allowing SCP-4400 to escape.
LOCATED: In site cafeteria, eating food procured from breakroom refrigerator belonging to site personnel.
RETRIEVAL AND RECONTAINMENT: 8'x2' portrait of site-66 north exit printed and positioned in front of SCP-4400's containment chamber. SCP-4400 ran towards the portrait, believing it to be an exit to the site. To Foundation's complete surprise, SCP-4400 ran directly into the portrait and seemingly manifested into the landscape, appearing to run past the exit and towards MTF vehicles. Several researchers attempted to give chase, before crashing through the portrait and ending up inside SCP-4400's containment chamber. SCP-4400 manifested within its containment chamber shortly afterwards. Researchers locked within SCP-4400's chamber claimed it looked "amused he had fooled us".

DATE: 08/07/2010
BREACH REPORT: SCP-4400 manifested a small silver hand bell, 4 cm tall and 2 cm in circumference, later confirmed to be SCP-662. SCP-662 was shaken by SCP-4400, and Mr Deeds was summoned, appearing from behind D-551987, who had been assigned to SCP-4400. SCP-4400 requested that Mr Deeds procur a timed explosive for it. Mr Deeds procured timed explosive and offered it to SCP-4400. Mr Deeds vanished afterwards. SCP-4400 then proceeded to place the timed explosive on the door of its containment chamber, and researchers claimed to hear a ticking sound from SCP-4400's chamber. MTF-Beta45 ("Bomb Squad Goals") were deployed at this time to attempt to disarm the claymore and halt SCP-4400's escape. Upon arriving to the containment chamber, MTF-Beta45 succesfully disarmed the explosive with 10.67 seconds left. However, ticking sound persisted. 10.67 seconds after disarming of the timed explosive, D-551987 exploded, leaving an open hole within its containment chamber which it then used as a means of egress. D-551987 re-emerged within the subsequent smokescreen, apparently singed with blackened ash but relatively unharmed.
LOCATED: SCP-4400 located a tank of helium previously used in containment of SCP-XXXX and left in Sector D. SCP-4400 ingested helium from the tank until its body inflated and expanded. SCP-4400 slowly began to float upwards, and, spinning its tail as a propellor, guided itself to Sector D's overhead exit.
RELOCATION AND RECONTAINMENT: MTF-Beta45-C opened unauthorized fire at SCP-4400, despite active warnings from Dr Harpel forbidding violent measures be used against it. Bullet struck SCP-4400 and punctured its hide, causing it to deflate and soar about wildly at high speeds until it landed within Site-66's armored vehicle lot. MTFs rushed to the scene before SCP-4400 could take control of Foundation armored vehicles. SCP-4400 was found flat and deflated on the ground and was promptly returned to its chamber.
NOTES: MTF-Beta45-C was subsequently kept in containment chamber alongside SCP-4400 as its next "target". Site-66 research team deemed it "A fitting punishment".

DATE: 08/20/2010
BREACH REPORT: SCP-4400 manifested with a plain white chef's uniform and a table with assorted dishes and confectioneries. SCP-4400 manifested a steam whistle which it sounded loudly, then audibly called "LUNCH TIME, BOYS!". All site-66 personnel in sectors D, E and C proceeded to rush towards SCP-4400's containment chamber, eagerly opening the door and lining up in front of the table. SCP-4400 escaped in the chaos.
LOCATED: Rearranging site-66 directories, as well as changing all instances of Site-66 to read "Site-69".
RETRIEVAL AND RECONTAINMENT: Dr Harpel loudly proclaimed that a fly was located within soup served at the luncheon within SCP-4400's cell. Despite SCP-4400 being well out of earshot, it manifested back within its cell to inspect the supposed fly. Dr Harpel claimed that the food served at SCP-4400's luncheon was below average and that she would be leaving a negative review. This agitated SCP-4400 sufficiently that it began to loudly debate Dr Harpel on the issue, long enough for personnel to be evacuated from its chamber and chamber door re-sealed. Dr Harpel remained for another 6 minutes before conceding defeat and leaving.

DATE: 09/01/2010
BREACH REPORT: SCP-4400 procured a smoke bomb which it detonated within its chamber. Smoke reached in-site smoke detectors and sprinkler system activated. Sprinkler system continued to operate well after site overseers enacted a manual shut off. Chamber began to fill with water at an impossible rate, contradicting the amount of water dispensed from the sprinkler system. SCP-4400 proceeded to utilise D-551973 as a rudimentary surfing apparatus, shortly before the volume of water contained within SCP-4400s chamber forcefully opened the door.
LOCATED: Riding the current of water towards Sector B testing area.
RETRIEVAL AND RECONTAINMENT: Fishing rod previously belonging to Researcher Gilbert utilised to hook onto SCP-4400's fur. SCP-4400 was "caught" with the fishing road, and began to flail around similar to caught aquatic specimen.
NOTES: ""Fishing's a dumb hobby, Gilbert". Yeah, well it stopped a containment breach we weren't prepared for, so how do you like that, Crompton?" -Researcher Gilbert.

Addendum:
Following Ressource report 3378A, Level 4 researcher Dr Bidden proposed SCP-4400 be cleared for termination in the following letter:

For the O5's consideration

After a review of our annual Ressource report, it's been revealed that a significant percentage of our D-Class personnel, almost 4%, has been rotated to Site-66 in the past year. Furthermore, costs to repair site-66 following SCP-4400's bimonthly containment breaches have begun to crawl into the sextuple digits. This is simply too much to invest in the containment of a large-scale reality bender. I move for authorization to attempt termination of SCP-4400 for the sake of conservation of our ressources. Thank you.

-Dr Bidden

Following this request, Dr Harpel wrote the following response to Overwatch.

For the consideration of the O5,

SCP-4400 is one of the most potent, limitless reality benders the Foundation has ever encountered, if not the most potent. We have so far succeeded in keeping SCP-4400 from causing any fatal harm to any subjects it has targetted, while also keeping it as contained as possible.

However, this has all changed in the aftermath of a recent breach report, where SCP-4400 performed the most frightening of its abilities yet. It ate a mouse. Now, I know what you're going to say, "Wow, breakthrough of the century, a fox ate a mouse". But SCP-4400 is not a regular fox. It operates on an entirely different set of rules as we do. It has no concept of blunt force trauma, puncture wounds, exsanguination, amputation, or lethal exposure, and up until it ate that mouse, we were led to believe that anyone it targetted would automatically gain the same properties. However, afterwards, we've been led to a much more grim conclusion: It willingly chooses to grant this anomaly to its victims.

It doesn't abide by our rules or our physics. Its body will simply flatten with every blow. It'll manifest comically large, hollow holes in its body for every bullet. It'll take our strongest bombs and come out with nothing but black singed fur, then shake it off and walk away unscathed. The only way to stop an entity that thrives off the absurd is to embrace it. Its to beat it at its own game. To play by its rules.

Now imagine what would happen if we managed to piss this thing off. To somehow legitimately upset it. To break the rules of its game. To try and cheat and play dirty.

I fear what would happen to us when SCP-4400 reveals that it can break the rules too.

-Dr Jennifer Harpel