Subtletea Zyn Collab
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Item #: SCP-2888-J

Object Ass: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Any digital equipment noted to have manifested SCP-2888-J is to be reported to the IT department, and immediately equipped with an updated spellchecking software.

Should an instance of SCP-2888-J manifest within official Foundation documentation, the personnel member responsible for the security liability is to be appropriately ridiculed, to prevent additional manifestations.

Description: SCP-2888-J is an analomous phenomenon that occurs in digital text-based content associated with Foundation containment procedures. Upon manifestation, SCP-2888-J presents a memetic hazard that automatically causes any viewer of the trigger text to visualize buttocks-related content in place of standard Foundation security measures.

Based on observation, the following verbal procedure has proved effective in containing identified sources of the anomaly:

Doctor Mercer: I made one typo! One typo! In a document with over three thousand words!

Doctor Kiryu: Pretty impressive, though. Of all the mistakes possible, that was the one you made.

Doctor Mercer: I guess. I can't believe it happened. It was just one letter.

Doctor Kiryu: Yeah, you were really the butt of the joke there.

Doctor Mercer: Are you serious… come on, not you too.

Doctor Kiryu: Just laugh it off, it happens to everyone. And you gotta admit it, you kind of walked into that one.

Doctor Mercer: …fine, I guess—

Doctor Kiryu: —guess you need to cover your rear!

Doctor Mercer: Mark, no.

Doctor Kiryu: At least you didn't get ass-igned to Keter duty! …Keter doodie.

Doctor Mercer: That one was awful.

Doctor Kiryu: Don't want to make an ass of yourself!

[the door to the break room opens, and Agent Tai Yang Shen sticks his head through the opening]

Agent Shen: Sorry to butt in, but Site-19 Overwatch says your proofreading is crap.

[Agent Shen withdraws his head and closes the door]

Doctor Mercer: …Is this really necessary?

Doctor Kiryu: I wanted to clear the derri-air!

Doctor Mercer: You're a bad person.

Doctor Kiryu: Maybe you need to loosen up. Just a haunch!

Doctor Mercer: Just leave it, okay? I get it. Next time I'll run a different spellcheck program on it, I'll do a search for the words I mixed up, I'll get a few extra people to read the documentation before I submit it…

Doctor Kiryu: It's good to be more careful. We don't want you to cause another… containment breech!

Doctor Mercer: I'm not talking to you anymore.

Addenbum SCP-2888-J-1: On ██/██/████, a new variant of SCP-2888-J was discovered rapidly propagating within personal memos sent by Foundation personnel. As a countermeasure, the "autocorrect" function is to be disabled on all Foundation-assigned cellular devices immediately and without exception.

Credits for reviewers in chat: trots, taylor_itkin, PeppersGhost, Modern_Erasmus, DrChandra, Rhett, DrMagnus, mlrBusy, Conwell