Per 
- -
- An Introduction
- Dr. Zavalosa
- Dr. Beiderman
- Prof. Wren
- SR. Vil
- R. Rasclon
- WR. Markham
- JR. Kai
- R.A. Walker
- I. Demole
- I. Beauvillier
- Template
Led by the cynical Dr. Veritas, the 914 Team is a group of individuals with highly questionable credibility and remarkable ability to avoid death by anomalous means. Through our combined efforts, we have effectively cut a 914-shaped hole in the Site-19 budget, utilized almost half of the onsite amnestic storage, and used almost all the Anomalous Storage space available at the site. But let’s not dilly dally, without further ado, let's meet the team!
Doctor Reo Zavalosa
(
ZeloAvarosa)
A little bit about me? Well, I specialize in analyzing, theorizing and explaining as best as I can why anomalies are anomalies and how anomalies work in its own set of rules. I used to work at Site-██, the one where the The Old Man, SCP-106 is contained. I was part of the team there working on 106. 106 likes to get out, I learned that much, that's for sure, and when 106 gets out, we can only reduce the damage dealt.
It went after me on a particularly bad containment breach, I managed to escape since I knew how to confuse it and I was the only casualty, outside of the poor fellow in the Femur Breaker of course. Unluckily though, it took half of me with him, my right arm and leg had to be amputated and replaced by prosthetic versions, a gift from the Engineering Department.
That was several years ago, I'm all better now and I’m looking forward to working again in The Foundation.
DoB: 28/06/1979
Height: 1.74m
Weight: 64.33Kg including prosthetics
Born in Australia, Dr. Reo Zavalosa achieved high distinctions and foresight of Dr. Iscariot, who was then a teacher for the university that Reo went to. When Iscariot changed professions and joined The SCP Foundation, he reached out to Reo and got him a job as his Assistant. Many years later, due to Dr. Iscariot’s disappearance, Reo was promoted and reassigned to SCP-106, which eventually took his arm and leg in 2016.
Officially joined the 914 Team on the 28/08/2019
Doctor Klaus Beiderman
(
Nathan Erickson)
DoB: 08/04/1959
Height: 1.524
Weight: 50.740kg
Born in North America in 1959, the child of Martin Beiderman and Jennifer Lawrence. He lived an uneventful life until 1970, when his father, an auto-mechanic with ties to the local Mekkahite Sect, recruited him into the order, which disbanded in 1976, due to a schism in the church. In 1977 Klaus went to college overseas in England for a bachelors degree in engineering. While there, he was recruited into the foundation by his professor. During his first week working for the foundation, he experienced a containment breach, and watched his professor killed in action. Although he has risen in the ranks of the foundation quickly, bad luck seems to follow him around. He has seen many people die in the dark.
His experiences as a member of the CotBG have made him one of the foundations premier researchers on mechanical anomalies. Works for the Engineering Departments' "Mechanical Anomaly Integration Division". This department is responsible for finding ways to utilize anomalous machinery in foundation tech.
Lives on Site 19s' main campus. Visits other facilities frequently.
Professor Willexia Rennar
(
Professor Wren)
DoB: 04/02/1996
Height: 1.727m
Weight: 55.364kg
Joined the Foundation as Guest Researcher at Site-19 25/03/2019.
Promoted to Researcher 05/04/2019.
Hello, Willexia here. Call me Wren, it's easier. I'm a…well, I used to be a teacher of audiology at the University of █████████ before we got caught in a containment breach with [REDACTED]. After that, I and a bunch of my former coworkers got in the good graces of the Foundation and were granted Guest Researcher statuses.
While the others quickly opted to go back to their civilian lives via the Amnestic Express, I took an interest in what they call SCP-914, and while my first experiment went embarrassingly bad (see Test 914-0490 for details…or better yet, don't), I got my act together and eventually jumped ship from the University completely.
The "Professor" title is strictly an honorary one; it was started as a joke by one of my friends after I got into a couple of particularly heated debates with one of the actual professors. Finally, he made a bet that if I could win an on-stage debate against him, he'd personally see to it that I was given the title for real.
I believe they're still scraping him off the podium. ^_^
My particular fields of study were acoustics and harmonic resonance. I also work with music a lot. Learning to play a variety of instruments as a kid probably led to my interest in the field of sound. If you've read my test logs, you'll see that comes up a lot with my experiments.
Oh, and if you're wondering about the hair…it's called "dye," people. :p
Anyway, cheers!
Senior Researcher Vil
(Agent Kleist does not match any existing user name)
Joined the Foundation as a Junior Researcher on 2/Feb/ ███.
Promoted to Researcher on 23/Aug/2019 and reassigned to Site-19 Facility-23 on 24/Aug/2019.
Promoted to Senior Researcher on 21/October/2019
I'm from ██████, Philippines. I am a researcher which specializes in anart, though not having any specialized scientific degree, I have been hired by the Foundation due to my skills in handling very hazardous art while in AWCY?
Researcher Ija Rasclon
(
A Spamwich)
It said I had to write this in the fourth fine print footnote of page 326 of my contract.
Joined the Foundation as a Junior Researcher a few months before 18/04/2019.
Promoted to Researcher while working with non-914 SCPs sometime between 26/04/2019 and 04/04/2019.
I like science. My interests, in no particular order, include: science, science, maths, science, the rules, science. If I don't know something, and can't find out the answer: N/A. I was hired as a Junior Researcher by the Foundation, due to my scores in science and high Cognitohazard Resistance Value. When I heard about a 3199 breach, naturally I had to find out as much as I could. I realized nobody had transcribed "test" number 0624, and, while doing it, saw potential for some very interesting science in 914.
I have had to take multiple breaks from 914, and in no small part due to amnestic recovery. I have had my direction of movement through time reversed for about 30 seconds, and wish I didn't know how having your blood flow backwards feels. My greatest fears are mortality, the unknown, and that all-gods-damned capacitor-looking thing that came out of 914-0850.
Weapons Researcher Grizelle Jacqueline Markham
(
Clevehammer)
DoB: 11/03/1990
Height: 1.732 m
Weight: 57.9 kg
Hi, I am Weapons Researcher Grizelle Jacqueline Markham, but I usually go by Jackie. I was born on March 11, 1990 in ██████, Ireland, to a mixed-faith family, but moved to Salt Lake City when I was nine. I was obsessed with the cosmos since I was young, and much of my money was spent of telescopes and the like. The rest? Music and the occasional pistol.
By chance, during my time at Brigham Young University, I came into contact with a small group of amateur watchers, looking into the night sky as our professional hobby.
Somehow, in 2015, we independently discovered an anomalous phenomenon in Alpha Centauri B. Most of us were later amnesticized, but I (and two others) decided otherwise, and joined the SCP Foundation.
Initially I was assigned to what effectively amounted to a skywatcher team, but later transferred out. Went to conduct firearms research afterwards, hence the current title. On 28/05/2019, I transferred out to join the SCP-914 research team.
Some files I have
Junior Researcher Kai
(
kaimenpls)
My personnel file is mostly redacted, interestingly.
I don't remember when I joined the Foundation, so I suppose I was placed on a highly classified project prior to being reassigned to SCP-914 as a Junior Researcher on 9/July/2019.
On my file, I was hired because of my work on the naturally-occurring antimemetic properties of an organism that no one is apparently able to remember. Don't really remember which Division I was assigned to, so I can safely assume that it's buried deep under a ton of amnestics.
All that matters is that now I'm with the SCP-914 research team. Let the fun and games research begin.
My official file is basically 90% redacted, so I decided to just create one for myself.
Research Assistant ██████ J. L. Walker
(
Noobly Walker)
A man who gets confused about stuff.
Sex: M
DoB: ██/██/1999
Height: 1.879m
Weight: 77.11kg
Joined the Foundation as Intern 22/Jun/2019.
Promoted to Research Assistant under Researcher Laskenta 10/Sep/2019.
I was born and raised in ████████, TX. I was always rather imaginative, and I often wished that there was more to the world than just mundanity. That the world of my imagination could be real. I was pleasantly surprised when I acquired an internship here at Site-19, and learned about all these exciting and strange entities that they keep here. 914 is my favorite for the sole reason that it is a factory of strange and wonderful items, and you never know what is going to come out of that output booth.
I created the current log format. I know what Clockwork-chan is. I had been amnesticized, but I rediscovered Clockwork-chan while I was reformatting the logs. I am proud of the 914 Team for churning out over 1,100 experiment logs. Read between the lines, you might find secrets. Enter my officeIntern Jane Demole
Sex: FDoB: 30/Aug/2000
Height: 1.731 meters
Weight: 91.4kg
Joined the Foundation as Intern on 28/Sep/2019. I was raised in rural Kansas by my loving parents ██████ and █████ Demole. I've been plagued by health issues since I was 8, and have been on painkillers since. I've come here seeking work, and perhaps to find something that will make me healthy again.
Intern François Beauvillier
Sex: M
DoB: 16/03/1984
Height: 1.73
Weight: 60 kilograms
Joined the Foundation as Intern on January 2020, I think?
I was born on the 16 March in 1984, and I consider myself as the finest example of the French excellence.
As far as I know, I'v eaten an incalculable number of baguettes and mixed them with almost every other existing food (from cheese to chocolate, through meat and potatoes). I would consider my principal function here as the baguette cooker in command. No seriously, I'm working at the —database security — cafeteria where I wash the dishes if I'm not in the infirmary getting healed from the injuries caused by 914's outputs.
I owned two cats (or maybe I was owned by two cats), and I had a pretty good life (I think). And then one day I woke up in a cell in this facility, and here I am. Or something like that, I took so much amnestics in here that I can't quite remember what happened.
I consider myself as either exceptionally paranoïd, incredibly stupid or astonishly humorous. Most people choose the second option, I don't know why. I never experienced any containment breach, so it is very possible that I'll die on the next one. Eh.
[[f>image <user picture, if available>]]
++ <Title and Name>
++++ ([[*user <wikidot account>]])
Sex: <M/F>
DoB: <date of birth>
Height: <height in meters>
Weight: <weight in kilograms>
Joined the Foundation as <initial rank> <join date>.
Promoted to <new rank> <promotion date>.
<bio>
[[[<sandbox link> |My sandbox]]]
Note: Redact whatever information you either cannot fill in or don't want known. - R.A. Walker
Note: For tab order, please look at the collapsible below. - R.A. Walker
- O5 (Overseer Lv5) Ex: O5-2
- S.D. (Site Director) Ex: S.D. Hackett
- Dr./Prof. (Doctor/Professor) Ex: Dr. Veritas
- S.R. (Senior Researcher) Ex: S.R. Vivic
- R (Researcher) Ex: R. Festiv
- J.R. (Junior Researcher) Ex: J.R. McLaif
- R.A./A.R./A (Research Assistant/Assistant) Ex: A.R. King
- I. (Intern) Ex: I. Voltê
- (Non-staff/Civilian/Other) Ex: Jeff the Mug Cat
- D- (Disposable) Ex: D-400491
The 914 Team's ongoing or completed projects
500 Ways To Disassemble A Human
By SCP-914
Co-Authors:
kaimenpls,
comptech,
Leveritas,
A Spamwich,
ZeloAvarosa,
Clevehammer, Agent Kleist does not match any existing user name,
Noobly Walker
By order of O5 Council, research personnel are reminded that they are not allowed to carry out any of the tests as listed in the book and are to report any similar outputs from SCP-914 to the Director of Research (Dr. Lucius Veritas) immediately.
Note to all contributors:
All entries should be written in the following format:
[Number]: Into [level of disassembly], sorted by [method of sorting].
Add your names at the bottom of the page after adding your entries in the following format:
[[*user EXAMPLE]],
1. Into organs, sorted by organ system.
2. Into cells, sorted by tissue type.
3. Into organs, sorted by English name.
4. Into tissues, sorted by English name.
5. Into cells, sorted by English name.
6. Into elements and isotopes, sorted by stability.
7. Into elements and isotopes, sorted by atomic mass.
8. Into organs, sorted by carbohydrate value.
9. Into organs, sorted by fat value.
10. Into organs, sorted by protein value.
11. Into organs, sorted by cholesterol value.
12. Into cells, sorted by water content.
13. Into elements and isotopes, sorted by abundance in individual organ systems.
14. Into organs, sorted by size.
15. Into organs, sorted by mass.
16. Into cells, sorted by number of chromosomes (haploid and diploid).
17. Into cells, sorted by complexity of differentiation.
18. Into body parts, sorted by location (head, trunk, extremities).
19. Into organs, sorted by time taken to develop (in a foetus).
20. Into cells, sorted by lifespan.
21. Into organs, sorted by rate of decay (at room temperature and pressure).
22. Into body parts, sorted by rate of reaction with hydrochloric acid.
23. Into temporal stages, sorted by objective time into subjective time within a bootstrap loop.
24. Into organs, sorted by minimum amount of damage taken before losing function.
25. Into cells, sorted by minimum amount of damage taken before losing function.
26. Into cells, sorted by density.
27. Into tissues, sorted by density.
28. Into organs, sorted by density.
29. Into cells, sorted by cell lineage.
30. Into cells, sorted by potency.
31. Into cells, sorted by number of organelles.
32. Into organs, sorted by metabolic rate.
33. Into organs, sorted by number of cell lineages per organ.
34. Into tissues, sorted by cell count.
35. Into body parts, sorted by rate of decomposition at room temperature and decomposition.
36. Into tissues, sorted by tensile strength.
37. Into cells, sorted by number of atoms.
38. Into tissues, sorted by number of atoms.
39. Into organs, sorted by number of atoms.
40. Into bones, sorted by number of muscles attached. All non-related biological matter is discarded in a pile.
41. Into body parts, sorted by electrical conductivity.
42. Into organs, sorted by dry mass.
43. Into organs, sorted by number of blood vessels supplying it.
44. Into organs, sorted by value on the black market.
45. Into 1cm3 chunks, sorted by Cartesian coordinates while subject is standing in the neutral position.
46. Into body parts, sorted by average time of survival of a human without said body part.
47. Into organs, sorted by public favouritism
48. Into cells, sorted by public favouritism
49. Into organelles, sorted by public favouritism
50. Into bones, sorted by likelihood of being broken.
51. Into bones, sorted by likelihood of being displaced.
52. Into bones, sorted by joints.
53. Into bones, sorted by the total amount of calcium.
54. Into blood, sorted by the total amount of Carbon Dioxide stored.
55. Into blood, sorted by the amount of Oxygen stored.
56. Into blood, sorted by cell size.
57. Into tissues, sorted by likelihood of being strained
58. Into tissues, sorted by likelihood of spasms.
59. Into tissues, sorted by scalding point.
60. Into tissues, sorted by flash point.
61. Into molecules, sorted by melting point.
62. Into molecules, sorted by boiling point.
63.Into molecules, sorted by acidity.
64. Into molecules, sorted by molecular mass.
65. Into tissues, sorted by frostbite temperature.
66. Into organelles, sorted by size.
67. Into organelles, sorted by public favoritism.
68. Into molecules, sorted by the average age of the atoms within.
69. Into organs, sorted by date of discovery
70. Into tissues, sorted by date of discovery
71. Into organ systems, sorted by date of discovery
72. Into cells, sorted by date of discovery
73. Into organelles, sorted by date of discovery
74. Into molecules, sorted by date of discovery
75. Into atoms, sorted by date of discovery
76. Into molecules, sorted by date of assimilation/synthesis
77. Into cells, sorted by their distance from the foot
78. Into atoms, sorted by Thanos' middle finger slapping his palm really hard after sliding past his thumb
79. Into amorphous blobs of goo, sorted and sized based on 914's preference of Dr. Calloway.
80. Into blobs of goo shaped like 914's researchers, sorted by 914's preference. M.T. Johnson is almost life-like, while Dr. Nukea, Researcher Darby, and Dr. Calloway are nearly unrecognizable.
81. Into molecules, sorted by the number of atoms.
82. Into molecules, sorted by the number of carbon atoms.
83. Into molecules, sorted by chemical name.
84. Into proteins, sorted by number of amino acids.
85: Into quarks, sorted by the number of up-quarks.
86: Into quarks, sorted by the number of down-quarks.
87: Into baryons, sorted by mass.
88: Into molecules, sorted by electric charge.
89: Into molecules, sorted by commonality in the universe.
90. Into cells, sorted by age.
91. Into nerves, sorted by date of discovery.
92. Into nerves, sorted by length.
93. Into nerves, sorted by public favoritism.
99. Into nerves, sorted by English name.
100. Into nerves, sorted by age.
101. Into nerves, sorted by color.
102. Into nerves, sorted by elasticity.
103. Into nerves, sorted by quality and appearance
104. Into cells, sorted by genetic degradation
105. Into tissues, sorted by quantity of scarring
106. Into molecules, sorted by quantity needed to poison a human
107. Into organelles, sorted by complexity
108. Into molecules, sorted by complexity
109. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by complexity
110. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by water content
111. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by carbohydrate content
112. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by fat content
113. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by protein content
114. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by cholestrol value
115. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by mass
116. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of oxygen
117. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of hydrogen
118. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of calcium
119. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of carbon
120. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of nitrogen
121. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of phosphorus
122. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of sulfur
123. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of potassium
124. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of sodium
125. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of iron
126. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of chlorine
127. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by concentration of magensium
128. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by number of amino acids
129. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by number of chromosomes
130, Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by complexity
131. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by the rate of decay at room temperature
132. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by location
133. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by rate of reaction with hydrochloric acid
134. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by rate of reaction with sulfuric acid
135. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by rate of reaction with phosphoric acid
136. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by rate of reaction with nitric acid
137. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by rate of reaction with acetic acid
138. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by rate of reaction with boric acid
139. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by rate of reaction with hydrofluoric acid
140. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by rate of reaction with oxalic acid
141. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by rate of reaction with citric acid
142. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by rate of reaction with carbonic acid
143. Into body parts, sorted by rate of reaction with sulfuric acid
144. Into body parts, sorted by rate of reaction with phosphoric acid
145. Into body parts, sorted by rate of reaction with nitric acid
146. Into body parts, sorted by rate of reaction with acetic acid
147. Into body parts, sorted by rate of reaction with boric acid
148. Into body parts, sorted by rate of reaction with hydrofluoric acid
149. Into body parts, sorted by rate of reaction with oxalic acid
150. Into body parts, sorted by rate of reaction with citric acid
151. Into body parts, sorted by rate of reaction with carbonic acid
152. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by density
153. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by likelyhood of dying after consumption
154. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by scalding point
155. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by flash point
156. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by melting point
157. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by boiling point
158. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by acidity
159. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by alkalinity
160. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by public favouritism
161. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by 914's favouritism
162. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by 079's favouritism
163. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by 682's favouritism
164. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by 2521's favouritism
165. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by Able's favouritism
166. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by Cain's favouritism
167. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by Iris's favouritism
168. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by God's favouritism
169. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by 035's favouritism
170. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by 049's favouritism
171. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by 173's favouritism
172. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by 3999's favouritism
173. Into bones, sorted by likelihood of being snapped when exposed to 173
174. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by how much amnestic 3000 can process from it.
175. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by 939's favouritism
176. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by Researcher Vil's favouritism.
177. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by Dr. Veritas' favouritism.
178. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by Researcher Darby's favouritism.
179. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by Research Assistant Walker's favouritism.
180. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by Researcher Rasclon's favouritism.
181. Into random chunks of biological material, sorted by Dr. Cleveland's favouritism.
182. Into chemicals, sorted by Dr. Hort's favouritism.
183. Into organs, sorted by average variance from a person with a exact genetic match to the Human Genome Project.
184. Into molecules, sorted by the number of hydrogen atoms.
185. Into molecules, sorted by the number of oxygen atoms.
186. Into molecules, sorted by the number of nitrogen atoms.
187. Into molecules, sorted by the number of sulfur atoms.
188. Into molecules, sorted by the number of phosphorus atoms.
189. Into molecules, sorted by the number of selenium atoms.
190. Into molecules, sorted by the number of chlorine atoms.
Accompanying SCP-914 Experiment Log Sandbox entry:
Name: Dr. Steph, Researcher Miniwa
Date: [DD/MM/YYYY]
Total Items: One human anatomy book published by ██████████ ██████, one empty book with "Another 500 Ways To Disassemble A Human" written on its cover, one pen, one jar of extra ink, one note with "One more?" written on itInput: One human anatomy book
Setting: 1:1
Output: One book titled "500 Ways To Disassemble A Human", contents detailing exactly the title descriptionNote: A digital copy of the book has been made and is available here. - Dr. Steph
Input: One empty book, one pen, one jar of extra ink, one note
Setting: 1:1
Output: One note with "Here's one." written on it, while pen and jar of extra ink were noted to have been untouchedNote: The D-class who retrieved the note was instantly "disassembled" by sheets of paper, presumably from the empty book, flying out of the Output booth at speeds of up to ███km/h that sliced his limbs and head off. - Researcher Miniwa
Additional Note: Testing with SCP-914 has been suspended for the day.
Minor grammar edits. - Kai
Credits
Co-Authors:
- Doctor Veritas - Leveritas
- Intern Lunar - Lunadog15
- Intern Snevets - comptech
- Intern Walker - Noobly Walker
- Intern Voltê / Researcher Jay - ashmage
- Junior Researcher Kai - Kai Wines
- Maintenance Technician Johnson - NElderT
Reviewers on Discord:
Jacelyn, Laskenta, MemeMarine, Rasclon, SirStafford
Reviewers on Forum:
AKFrost, AtomicGummyGod
Links
Mainsite Forum Page (hosted by Kai)
http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-12200924/experiment-log-914-hub#post-4301774
Google Doc (hosted by Kai)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nmSkFyethmGZdIEuWj8bjMj3vPORBLB_Ps2VqN2JUoc/edit?usp=sharing
Map of Site-19 Facility 23
http://scp-wiki.wdfiles.com/local--files/experiment-log-914-hub/914enlarged.png
What To Do When Everything Goes To Shit
http://www.scp-wiki.net/lockdown-procedures
Information
| Not known to Foundation |
|
| Foundation knowledge |
|
Notes
- Try to use Document Online to sift through all the stuff on the Google Doc.
- Leave a line between paragraphs when writing and tab in front of each paragraph.
- Black is for regions of the document that are finalized. Edits in black regions should only be inserted with notes.
- Use a page line to separate time periods between sections in the same chapter.
- SCP-914 IS NOT SENTIENT. IT CANNOT SPEAK, IT CANNOT HEAR, IT CANNOT SEE, IT HAS NO FREE WILL. Anything 914 does to an input is based partially on randomness. For more detailed instructions, check out Veritas' guide here.
For Authors
Don't vote, authors. Thanks.
I - What have you guys done now?
Maintenance Technician Johnson was getting sick of Site-19. Specifically, Facility 23 of Site-19, where SCP-914 was contained and its dedicated team of researchers were stationed at.
There was nothing wrong with his job. In fact, he loved his job. The problem, he decided, lay with the researchers within the (rebuilt) walls of Site-19. He'd been pulled in after the Kondraki incident2 and his very first job was to ensure that none of the haphazardly put-together temporary Safe-class containment procedures failed. After Site-19 was finally rebuilt and everything was back to normal, he was stationed at Facility 23 with SCP-914, and that was where he stayed. However, on his first day at Site-19 Facility 23 on the first day of 2011… He didn't want to think about it.
Eight years on, Johnson thinks he's seen it all. At least, he hopes he does. The sight of faint smoke as he walks past Research Cell 109-B ends this hope he still harbours secretly after nine years of experience, dealing with all the shit the researchers at Facility 23 can get into. He sniffs the air and swears, before sprinting into the room.
Researcher Jay stood in front of the Output booth, desperately waving his hands to clear the smoke (quite uselessly, Johnson noted). "What happened?" he growled as he stared in mild surprise at the booth from which smoke was currently wafting out from. Yes, he'd seen smoke coming from within the Output booth before, but from behind the booth? That was new. "I don't bloody know! I came in right after hearing you scream for help inside 914!" Jay yelled.
914 was… mimicking him? He’d never heard of this happening before. Puzzling over it, he noticed an alarm ringing in the background… but 914 didn't have an alarm… and it sounded suspiciously like… like his morning alarm clock.
II - Psychiatric Evaluation of Maintenance Technician Johnson
The following is an excerpt of a psychiatric evaluation performed by Doctor Simon Glass in response to an urgent request for one at Site-19 Facility 23.
Dr. Glass: So you're saying that SCP-914 contacted you?
MT Johnson: Yes. I swear that it was crying for help in my dream.
Dr. Glass: You do realize… aside from the fact that SCP-914 is not sentient, what you're telling me was a dream, right?
MT Johnson: I know, but…
Dr. Glass: Johnson, are you overworked? Hair falling out or any other stress-related symptoms?
MT Johnson: No. But -
Dr. Glass: I can see that you care very much about the SCP-914. However, I strongly advise you to take a break.
MT Johnson: Why won't you listen? I know that -
Dr. Glass: I'm going to approve a week-long break for you. I don't do this often, but I can tell that you're very worked up about this. Just take this chance and have a good, long rest. Come back to work in a fresh state of mind.
MT Johnson: I don't need…
Dr. Glass: I will be seeing you in a week, and I hope you'll be in a better state of mind by then.
After the evaluation was concluded, Maintenance Technician Johnson was granted paid leave for one week on a recommendation from Doctor Glass.
III - Misappropriation of Foundation Resources
"There's something wrong with 914. I know it," Maintenance Technician Johnson muttered, as he drew closer to the new recruits. All four of them were staring wide-eyed, not believing that one of the oldest members of Facility 23 was telling them something so important.
"Why don't you tell Veritas then? Surely he'll believe you!" Intern Snevets questioned. He was the oldest among the interns and was due to be promoted soon. Johnson groaned. "I told you, none of them would believe me. You scientists can tell me all you like that machines aren’t sentient, but I say that every one of them needs some love." Junior Researcher Kai chuckled nervously, but a glare from Johnson shut him up. He looked at all of them.
"You all are smart people, aren't you?" They nodded. "Then help me take a look at 914, won't you?" Hearing this, Intern Voltê grinned. "I've got an idea…"
Johnson nodded in approval.
Interns Voltê and Walker dropped a thick manila folder on the desk of one Doctor Lucius E. Veritas. That got his attention.
"What's this?" The bloodshot and stressed eyes of Dr Veritas looked into the almost equally bloodshot and tired eyes of Intern Voltê, who had spent the whole night filling out the relevant forms and writing a short summary of the plan. Dr Veritas skimmed through the folder and gaped at the final page.
"You want to WHAT?" Both Voltê and Walker winced. They didn't want to make a scene at 8 in the morning. No amount of caffeine would pull them through another one of Veritas' marathon lectures on responsibility, common sense and/or natural selection.
“I’m placing a request to remove 914’s output booth to check for damages behind it. The other thing is based on some suggestions from Maintenance Technician Johnson,” Walker said.
Veritas sighed. "Isn't Johnson on paid leave? What does he have to do with this? I could have sworn he claimed to be talking to 914." Voltê winced again. So that's what he thought of Johnson.
Walker nervously shifted around despite having prepared by memorizing a speech for three hours before even getting ready to go to the Head of Experimental Security and Director of Research's office.
"Doctor Veritas, with all due respect, we believe that between the grenades going off, anomalous outputs being shot at and highly caustic chemicals being released in the Output booth, it has certainly taken a beating over the years and some things behind the booth might be coming loose. That said, the booth itself is in great condition, all things considered."
“If you think you're better suited to look after that damn machine and the researchers trying to defy Darwin at every turn, you're welcome to try. In the meantime, I recommend letting me continue to do my job before I let Sedna throw you out. The Output booth is part of the machine, and if removing it breaks it, which it might, I'll have Hackett and Gears to answer to. So to your question: Would I let two glorified maintenance workers pry apart one of the most delicate anomalous artifacts we have? I want you to think about your question very carefully.''
Walker and Voltê nodded and quietly walked away.
"So." Everyone looked up. "Who wants to try next?"
Intern Snevets murmured, "We don't have to try Veritas." Everyone else looked at him. Snevets continued, "I mean, we could get a researcher to help us, right? I’d suggest Kai, but he’s not a full researcher yet, and…" Junior Researcher Kai grumbled something inaudible. He had caused an incident with a cognitohazard within his first week at Facility 23, breaking the previous record set by a researcher whom no one would speak of.
"Well? Do any of you know a researcher?" Snevets asked.
"I could try to get Researcher Jay on board," Voltê remarked. Everyone nodded. It was decided then. They would talk to him once he agreed to get them into 914’s cell.
The test collab is stored here
