TheeSherm's Sandbox of Mild Phobias

Yes, this was inspired by the meme of "everything is cake" paired with the title of that song.

Thanks to ETOILE for the deep crit as well as VioletChaos364 and SCP-420-J from Site-42's Discord server for voicing support.

Check out more from me over at TheeSherm’s Author Page and Site-42 Hub

+Spoilers and Easter Eggs

High Concept: "Bougie Monsters are pulling a modern day Hansel and Gretel in SoCal."

Once Santa Barbara was chosen as the setting of the story, I recalled that the show Psych was set there. That's how we got a local psychic/detective and the character names and personalities of the investigating agents.

Agents on the wiki are very often strict and serious business, so I'm quite excited to get some Foundation employees acting like normal people, joking around on the job, and of course, sometimes the bad guy gets away.

Engelbert Humperdink made an opera of Hansel and Gretel starring Rosina Leckermaul.

You can totally make flour and bread from human bones. They did it in Paris during a famine. It killed those who ate it though, so best not to be grinding bones for your bread. (I know that's Jack and the Beanstalk, but it's still Grimm!)

References to Psych, Hansel and Gretel, Sweeney Todd, Cake by the Ocean, and Site-42/Dr. Sherman.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Site-42-Beta has been established surrounding Site-42-Alpha, and is to serve as an intermediary for supply shipments bound for Site-42-Alpha. Personnel from Site-42-Beta are to avoid coming within 5 meters of any SCP-XXXX-1 instance whenever possible, and are in no circumstances to make physical contact with an instance without prior approval from both the Alpha and Beta Site Directors.

Site-42-Alpha is to remain under a Level III Infectious Disease Quarantine indefinitely. In the event that all SCP-XXXX-1 are neutralized, testing with D-Class will be performed to ascertain if SCP-XXXX manifests with a different subject.

Any SCP-XXXX-1 entities brought off-site for research purposes are to be treated as Level III Infectious Disease risks.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomena wherein human beings making skin to skin contact with an SCP-XXXX-1 instance causes them to metamorphise into an instance of SCP-XXXX-1.

SCP-XXXX-1 is the designation given to all instances of Dr. Theron Sherman, a Level IV Researcher stationed at Site-42-Alpha prior to SCP-XXXX's manifestation. There are currently 212 SCP-XXXX-1 instances manning Site-42-Alpha.

Addendum XXXX-A: Transformation

Within one hour of skin to skin contact with an SCP-XXXX-1 instance, subjects will cycle through the following symptoms

Fatigue
Fever
Paranoia(Footnote 1: After a containment breach of a transformation candidate who suffered from PTSD during this phase causing the infections of multiple personnel, Level III Infectious Disease Quarantine procedures were enacted.)
Physical metamorphosis
Unconsciousness

After resting for eight to twelve hours, the subject will awaken as an SCP-XXXX-1 instance. All SCP-XXXX-1 instances manifest at the physical age and with the memories of Dr. Sherman at the time the phenomena began on 09/21/2031. (Approx. 45 years old.)

New SCP-XXXX-1 instances are universally panicked and disoriented upon awakening, therefore must be stored in a Humanoid Containment Chamber until they awaken. Once awake, the on-shift SCP-XXXX-1 instance is to run through the Protocol XXXX-Foxtrot interview script, which has been fine-tuned to produce cooperation in the shortest amount of time.

Addendum XXXX-B: Procedure XXXX-Foxtrot Interview Script

Interview Log:
Interviewer: SCP-XXXX-1-78
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-1-126

[BEGIN LOG]

Note: SCP-XXXX-1 instances will typically take in their surroundings for 5 minutes before knocking on the cell door.

-126: Hello!? What's going on here, let me out!

The door unlocks, -78 enters.

-78 and -126, in unison: What the hell? What are you?

-78: Heh… always funny.

-78 and -126, in unison: What about this is funny!?

-78: Calm down. I'm not a doppelganger, you aren't dreaming, and I'm going to explain everything.

-126: Why should I trust you?

-78: The white knight falls, the lake blooms red, the lady is claimed, and the squire has fled.

-126's posture stiffens.

-126: You really are me, aren't you?

-78: Yep.

-126: Is this time travel?

-78: No, it's an infection. Every any human being who touches our skin becomes another one of us. Both of us were different people before we were transformed into copies of the original Dr. Theron Sherman.

-126: What? But I remember distinctly last night putting the finishing touches on the Sheldon Procedure.

78: That was 27 years ago. Last night, you were a D-Class with a critical injury. You were dying anyways, and deemed healthy enough to be shipped to us to be used. Welcome to your second lease on life. Let's take a walk, and we'll get you your new job assignment.

-126: Job assignment?

-78: There's over a hundred of us; we can't all do the same job. Just hope you don't pull the short straw and end up a D-Class again.

-126: Excuse me?!

-78: Kidding! Come on, let's see what they'll have you working on. You'll have a couple days to acclimate before you start training in your new discipline.

[END LOG]

Addendum XXXX-C: Missive from O5-11

We have an opportunity here. The ability to essentially grow a new Level IV Researcher in the span of 12 hours, especially one with Dr. Sherman's ability and loyalty, could be a boon to multiple branches of study. I put before you a vote: we should invest in Site-42. Build the site larger, fill it with those on death's door who would otherwise go to waste. With their consent, of course.

O5 Vote: Approved 7-6

Things I want to mention that I haven't yet:
Finish the links to 2718
-O5-11(Roger Sheldon) is sending people without their consent because death is bad
-One of many 2718 projects going wrong caused this
-Zwielicht as a clue to Dammerung

Sexual frustration because all straight dudes
Amnesticizing Sherman's that we want to be D-Class or Custodial Staff