Team Mop Science (Genesis, Or, How Janitor Worth Became A Deity To The People Of A Very Disgusting Mop Bucket)

The bucket used to contain SCP-XXXX-1. Image was taken after [PLACEHOLDER DATE]

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Neutralized (Formerly Safe)

Special Containment Procedures: The remains of SCP-XXXX are currently stored in ten sealed culture tubes within Site-30's Cross-Testing storage chamber. Due to the limited quantity of SCP-XXXX-1's, all experiments involving the remains must be approved by at least two Level-4 personnel and are to focus on recreating the anomaly.

The bucket formerly containing SCP-XXXX has been found to be non-anomalous and is currently stored in low-risk object locker A-1221-XXXX.

Description: SCP-XXXX was a civilization which manifested in a mop bucket issued by the Foundation to Janitor C. Worth (Employee No. 24229-J). SCP-XXXX displayed rapid advancements in evolution; with the sapient lifeforms (SCP-XXXX-1) present being theorized to have entered a comparably modern era of technology within a week of discovery.

SCP-XXXX-1 is the designation for a group of microbiological humanoid lifeforms composed mainly of silicone, ammonia, and water; which formerly inhabited SCP-XXXX. The culture of SCP-XXXX-1 primarily revolved around the worship and idolization of SCP-XXXX-2.

SCP-XXXX-2 is the designation for a group of Foundation personnel which became objects of worship to SCP-XXXX-1. Personnel formerly designated as SCP-XXXX-2 include Janitor Worth, Security Guard Starling, Dr. Everwood, Junior Researcher Mantell, and Researcher Cole. Instances of SCP-XXXX-2 were denoted as such following the construction of monuments, idols, and other such edifices displaying the visage of the aforementioned personnel.

The conditions leading to the creation of SCP-XXXX are currently unknown, but it is currently believed that the anomaly was the result of improperly disposed of refuse from other anomalies.

Following [PLACEHOLDER DATE] SCP-XXXX is considered Neutralized.

Discovery: SCP-XXXX was discovered in the Site-30, Wing A, Floor 3 custodial supply closet. An investigation was launched by on-site security personnel following a pattern of erratic behavior observed in Janitor Worth. The subject was intercepted by Security Chief Palacio on 06/10/2016 while leaving on-site staff quarters. The following interview was conducted concerning Janitor Worth's behavior.

+ Show Interview XXXX-1

Interview-XXXX-1: Janitor Worth was interviewed by Security Chief Palacio concerning his erratic behavior.

<Begin Log>

Palacio: Hello Mr. Worth, please have a seat.

Worth: Aye, so, what's this about exactly? Did I do something horribly wrong? Did I clean up the wrong dead body? [Laughs]

Palacio: Mr. Worth, you have been observed moving about Site-30 well beyond your scheduled hours recently. Additionally, we have found security footage showing you have stolen a magnifying glass from the geological research labs a few days ago, and a voice recorder a from Dr. Everwood's office about a month ago.

Worth: Uh, that's my office, first off. Second, is it a crime to sleep in your office? I just didn't feel like driving home. And stealing? No, that ain't me. Couldn't have been, scout's honor, sir!

Palacio: Your "office" is no place to be after your allotted hours, Mr. Worth. Petty theft aside, I hope you are aware that you are in breach of contract by willfully remaining on-site after your time to leave. Mister Worth, what are you doing in your closet?

Worth: Come on man… A man's office is his own private business.

Palacio: I will ask once more. What are you doing in your closet, Mr. Worth?

[Worth shifts in his chair, then looks at the guards stationed at the door before smiling at Palacio.]

Worth: Polishing some knobs?

Palacio: [Sighing] Well, I'll just go take a look myself.

[Rustling is heard as Palacio picks up the recording device and walks towards the door, which beeps open after a brief delay.]

Worth: [Distant] No man, seriously. You shouldn't go in there. There's… Uh… Like, a giant monster in there that'll stab you. And your kids.

[A chair hitting the ground can be heard before the recording device falls on the floor. The release of several gun's safety mechanisms is heard, along with signs of a minor scuffle.]

Palacio: What the hell has gotten into you Worth?! Unhand me!

Worth: Look, if you want to see it, you gotta promise not to take it. Alright?

Palacio: I won't promise you.

[Palacio, Worth, and Security Guard Sterling exit the interrogation room and head to Janitor Worth's closet. Strenuous interaction has been redacted.]

Worth: See? Nothing but brooms and mops!

Palacio: What… What the fuck is that smell?

Worth: I don't know, the ammonia blew out my nose holes years ago.

Palacio: Good lord… It smells like something died in here… And like… [Inhales] Maple syrup?

[Janitor Worth is heard moving towards the back of the room.]

Palacio: Worth, what the hell do you think you're doing? Get back here. Sterling, get a look at whatever the hell this lunatic is trying to cover up.

Sterling: 10-4.

Worth: No! Stop!

[A minor scuffle ensues as Palacio restrains Worth and Sterling approaches the back of the room. There is a brief silence before Sterling speaks again.]

Sterling: [Muffled] Sir, I think we may need to get a containment specialist.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Janitor Worth was subdued and brought into Foundation custody for further questioning. A provisional containment team was contacted and the anomaly was given a designation. The magnifying glass and audio recorder stolen by Janitor Worth were confiscated.

Addendum-XXXX-1: The following are several transcripts from Janitor Worth's audio recordings pertaining to SCP-XXXX.

+ Open Transcripts Log

What the hell? So, I was about to go clean some stuff. Ya know, the usual. So I was mixing all this cleaning junk into my bucket before one of the eggheads called me over. I went in, told me I had to clean up another dead guy, then I went back in my office. And the god damn bucket is making noises. I looked in, and I saw all these white spec things. Just running around and having a gay ol' time. They're kinda cute. Some of them looked up at me and waved. I had to ditch them for a second after the eggheads were wondering what I was doing in my closet. I'm pretty sure this is magical, so, they can't know about them.

Alright, what's a good name for these guys?
Pail people… Little janitors… Worth juniors… Tiny tub dudes… Bucket folk…
Bucket folk sounds like a good name for these little dudes.

So, I nabbed a magnifying glass from one of the offices I was cleaning so I could get a closer look at these guys. And not like one of those crappy magnifying glasses that you burn ants with, I'm talking legit shit science magnifying glasses. Hopefully, nobody notices. These little guys are building houses and stuff, and some of them keep waving at me. I've started giving them names. My favorite one has gotta be Pendleton Bucket. Actually, all of them have the last name bucket. I'm not that original. Anyway, I gotta head home for the night, and I decided to give them half of my sandwich from this afternoon.

Huh, the sandwich looks pretty much untouched. But they made little scaffolding to get up to the top of the sandwich. I looked at one of their towns and they had a big ol' campfire. Well, big in comparison to them. And they were all sitting around and eating little bits of the sandwich. Looked like a lot of fun, so I grabbed a little bit of the sandwich and ate it. Ya know, as a gesture of good faith, I guess.
Shit, Everwood needs me. Gotta run.

Dude, these guys built a little statue of me giving them the sandwich. Well, more like they made my hand and the sandwich. And they stuck it by a little church.
Wait, am I their god?
That's awesome.
I stuck my face in the bucket for a few minutes so they might build a little statue of my face.

Man, I can't leave these guys here for the night. They're too cool. Plus I think I might mess something up if I move them. Like, a giant earthquake and all of them die. So, I'm just going to say I'm staying late to help clean up some more garbage. I'm sure nobody will notice that I'm not around. Hell, they barely notice me when I am there.

I fell asleep for… like 8 hours. And I woke up, looked inside, and sure as shit, they got a little statue of my face! And it looks so good. Like, I don't think I could have done that even if I tried. So I got up, ordered a pancake from the cafeteria and put half of it in the there. And a bit of syrup.
I think because I did that I just cemented my status as a benevolent god. Feels good.

More and more security guys are coming into my office and asking why I'm in here. I think they're onto the bucket folk, so I've hidden them under a bunch of mops. Hopefully, they aren't too scared that I'm gone. God knows what these eggheads will do to them. Probably make them run mazes like lab rats. Yeah, big shock. Mice can run mazes. Why do you gotta test that all the time?
Science is bullshit, let me tell ya.

Went in to check up on them, and most of them were outside of their houses on their knees. I think they really missed me. Not gonna put them under that kind of stress again. But on the bright side, they've got cities and shit now. And it's only been 4 days. These bucket folk are coming along pretty well.

Addendum-XXXX-2: The following is an interview between Janitor Worth and Researcher Cole conducted to determine the former's involvement in SCP-XXXX's creation.

+ Show Interview XXXX-2

<Begin Log>

Worth: Hey, what's with the handcuffs Cole? I've been cleaning around here longer than you've been around! You should treat me with some respect!

Cole: You attacked a security guard yesterday, just proper precautions.

Worth: Fine, but do ya know how are the bucket folk doing?

Cole: I'll be asking the questions, Mr. Worth. Besides, I'm afraid I'm not in a position to disclose much information to you.

Worth: Alright, alright.

Cole: So as you are probably aware, your little 'civilization' has been recently catalogued as an anomalous collective of entities titled SCP-XXXX. What can you tell me about SCP-XXXX?

Worth: I just poured a bunch of cleaning stuff into my mop bucket, five minutes later, those guys start walking around.

Cole: Did you intentionally create SCP-XXXX?

Worth: Nope. Just the miracle of nature and magic.

Cole: Do you recall having used that same bucket to clean a testing room with Class A-C biohazards?

Worth: …Yeah.

Cole: You are aware that proper Foundation protocol is to incinerate any materials used in the cleaning of anomalous items and related refuse, correct?

Worth: …Yeah.

Cole: Therefore you are aware that you breached Foundation protocol, correct?

[Janitor Worth and Researcher Cole are silent for 21 seconds.]

Worth: Alright, in my defense, going to the incinerator takes forever and I kept getting buzzed to come to clean up after you guys.

Cole: I see. [Researcher Cole flips a page on his notebook.] Now, if you could please explain the remains of the sandwich, pancakes, and syrup found in SCP-XXXX?

Worth: I figured they'd get hungry, you know? Everyone's gotta eat. I didn't want those little guys to starve. Besides, they seemed to like it. They made statues of me and treated me like some kind of God or something.

Cole: So you were aware of SCP-XXXX-1's tendency towards worship?

Worth: What? No, I just didn't want them to starve you know? I know they were magical or something, and I didn't know if they even needed to eat but… Better safe than sorry? I care about them, I really do. Is there any way I could see them?

Cole: Thank you, Mr. Worth. Guards, please escort him out.

Worth: [Muffled] Wait! No! Let me see the Bucket folk! I need to know if they're okay! Damn it Cole, they're not some science experiment, they're people!

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Security tapes of Wing A in Site-30 between the days of 06/01/2016 and 06/06/2016 are currently in review to list possible contained anomalies which may have lead to the creation of SCP-XXXX. Janitor Worth has been placed in isolated containment due to his aggressive behavior and refusal to further cooperate.

Addendum XXXX-3: SCP-XXXX was observed within its area of discovery for a period of three days. Below is a list of observed behaviors exhibited by SCP-XXXX-1 instances.

+ Open Observation Log

Date: [ WE NEED TO PUT THESE IN LATER, AND EDIT THE TIMES]
:00: SCP-XXXX-1 instances are observed constructing scaffolding to reach the floating pancake remains in the bucket.
00: SCP-XXXX-1 instances are observed gathering around structures depicting Janitor Worth and Security Guard Sterling.
:00: SCP-XXXX-1 instances are observed to celebrate, presumably holding a festival.
:00: Junior Researcher Mantell introduces a dropper into the bucket containing SCP-XXXX to obtain a water sample.
:00: Structures resembling Junior Researcher Mantell are constructed.
:00: Junior Researcher Mantell introduces a sterilized Petri dish into SCP-XXXX in order to retrieve a sample of SCP-XXXX and collect instances of SCP-XXXX-1.¹
:00: SCP-XXXX-1 instances are observed to offer tributes of bits of pancakes to structures representing Janitor Worth, Security Guard Sterling, and Researcher Mantell.

The bucket containing SCP-XXXX was relocated to a Bio-Containment Lab. Access to Janitor Worth's closet has been restricted to Level-3 personnel.

Date: [ WE NEED TO PUT THESE IN LATER, AND EDIT THE TIMES]
:00: Approximately 60% of SCP-XXXX structures were destroyed during transfer into containment. 45% of SCP-XXXX-1 expired during this event.
:00: Noticeable increase in SCP-XXXX-1 activity near structures depicting Janitor Worth and Security Guard Starling.
:00: Several structures depicting Junior Researcher Mantell are vandalized, with many being destroyed.
:00: Several SCP-XXXX-1 instances notice Dr. Everwood and begin waving.
:00: First statue of Dr. Everwood is constructed by SCP-XXXX-1.
:00: SCP-XXXX-1 instances vandalize statue of Dr. Everwood.
:00: Several statues of Dr. Everwood are constructed.
:00: A majority of damage to SCP-XXXX structures has been repaired, and SCP-XXXX-1 populations return to normal.

Date: [TO BE ADDED]
:00: Several structures depicting Janitor Worth are vandalized.
:00: SCP-XXXX-1 instances have constructed mechanisms similar in function to automobiles.
:00: Specimens vandalizing a structure depicting Security Guard Sterling are attacked by other SCP-XXXX-1 instances.
:00: SCP-XXXX-1 instances notice Researcher Cole and waved, prompting other nearby specimens to attack.
:00: A large-scale fire occurs within an SCP-XXXX-1 settlement, prompting specimens to flee. Of note, the settlement in question had a high concentration of structures depicting Janitor Worth.

Date: [PLACEHOLDER DATE]
:00: Following the destruction of the settlement, many SCP-XXXX-1 instances have separated into other settlements. Of note, settlements will only consist of structures depicting one instance of SCP-XXXX-2 in high density.
:00: Several thousand SCP-XXXX-1 instances began to attack a settlement. Of note, the attacking specimens were from a settlement primarily worshiping Dr. Everwood, while the settlement attacked primarily worshiped Janitor Worth.
:00: Several similar attacks were carried out by various settlements. Approximately 40% of the SCP-XXXX-1 population is terminated as a result of these attacks.
:00: A settlement primarily worshiping Security Guard Sterling fired a missile at a settlement primarily worshipping Researcher Cole. The resulting explosion destroyed the entire settlement and eradiated the area within the blast.
:00: 17 similar missile strikes occur before it is confirmed that all SCP-XXXX-1 specimens are terminated. Approximately 55% of the specimens were terminated by the resulting fallout.²

Addendum-XXXX-4: The following is an interview between Janitor Worth and Researcher Cole conducted to evaluate the former's psychological health. This interview was taken following [PLACEHOLDER DATE]

+ Open Interview XXXX-4

<Begin Log>

Cole: So Worth, are you feeling well enough to answer some questions?

Worth: I mean, sure. Whatever. Not like I have a choice right?

Cole: How have you been feeling in the past few days?

Worth: Shit.

Cole: I'm talking about your emotional state.

Worth: Did I stutter?

Cole: I see. Do you know why?

Worth: 'Cause I haven't seen those bucket folk. How're they doin'?

Cole: I'm not in any position to disclose that permission.

Worth: Great. Glad to know nothing's changed.

Cole: Why are you so affectionate towards SCP-XXXX?

Worth: And why do you want to know?

Cole: This is a psychological evaluation.

Worth: Listen man, it's personal. I don't wanna get into it.

Cole: Mr. Worth, if you don't comply you will be fired.

Worth: I fucking hate this job, so good riddance.

Cole: [Sighs] Ok, Worth, if you answer why you love SCP-XXXX so much, we'll let you see it.

[Janitor Worth and Researcher Cole are silent for approximately 32 seconds.]

Worth: Fine. Look, I never got to know my dad much. The guy worked in a warehouse, single dad. Never got to see him much. Not a bad guy, just absent. And I want to be a dad. A better dad. So, I was trying my damnedest to keep those bucket folk alive and well. I wanted to be there for them. [Silence for 12 seconds.] That is until you fuckers started poking your nose in.

Cole: I see, thank you Jani-

Worth: Let me see them.

Cole: Janitor Worth, I'm sorry bu-

Worth: I said, let me see them.

Cole: I'm sorry, but SCP-XXXX has been reclassified as Neutralized.

Worth: English please.

Cole: The bucket folk are dead.

Worth: What? How?

Cole: Several settlements destroyed each other via the use of nuclear warheads.

Worth: [Sighs] Fuck man.

[Janitor Worth can be heard crying.]

Cole: Janitor Worth, are you ok?

Worth: No. Look, I know you can make me forget about this. Make it happen and we'll pretend like this never happened.

Cole: That may be detrimental to the investigation of this anoma-

Worth: Do you want to live knowing you killed a civilization?

Cole: [Silence for 6 seconds.] I'll see to it your request is heard.

Worth: Thanks man.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Following this interview, Janitor Worth was administered Class-C amnestics and his position as Janitor was restored.

Author Note (Janitor): So, this was all Nicolini's plan. And this was probably the most fun I've ever had with an SCP and a collab.

Also, yes Janitor Worth is a self-insert and this is Mary Sue fanfiction. Sue me.

But in all seriousness, thanks to Nicolini for coming up with this and letting me do it. Chances are that if he was at the wheel it'd be a lot better.

Image was taken by Arnold Reinhold. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:ArnoldReinhold
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/01/Bucket.agr.jpg

Footnotes

1. The recovered sample sustained ten SCP-XXXX-1 instances for eight hours before the collected instances expired.

2. Of note, the bucket containing SCP-XXXX was eradiated for the following 5 days.