hellion: @groucho what did you do
groucho: chill out, it's a minor setback.
hellion: what did you do
Threat Level: Black
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX, steps must be taken to mitigate the anomaly's potency. To this end, Mobile Task Force XXXX-X ("????") has been assigned to infiltrate SCP-XXXX, discover the source of its anomalous properties, and block further expansion.
An exclusion zone of 1 km has been established around SCP-XXXX's last known boundaries.
Description:
groucho: guys you know how my grandma died? she left me a huge parcel of land.
harmpit: accrdingt o tehe communist maifensto i gtet o killyo ui know
hetcopogg: lol.
orbhorse: whatre you gonna do w/ it
polaricecraps: how is “communist” the only word you spelled correctly in that sentence
harmpit: cmomunsti
polaricecraps: thank you
opposum: how would we know that ur gma died
groucho: ive always wanted to make my own place to live. like a sweet bachelor pad you know. big fountain bathroom and stone bathtub. girls absolutely love a good bathroom. just pure DIY phyical space you know
talman_corvett: his grandma was a certified poster(r) everyone knows about groucho's grandma.
jockjamsvol6: I don't know if girls like bathrooms.
groucho: i have a plan for the perfect house with the perfect energies.
opposum: what
groucho: itll even have a powder room! for the ~ladies~, of course
hetcopogg: i don't know about this one.
jockjamsvol6: I think the confidence is working on me.
harmpit: mabet gilrs DO loveb athroom s….
polaricecraps: @groucho what kind of space are you thinking?
groucho: i was def thinking something toroidal. it's always been my dream space
talman_covertt: donut bitch
polaricecraps: that's a pretty tough shape for a beginner, especially if you want it to be bigger on the inside.
talman_corvett: doctor who bitch
polaricecraps: fuck you!
groucho: my uncle left me a how to guide on this sort of thing before he died so i'm pretty confident i got it but thanks ffor your concern!
harmpit: bitch
polaricecraps: keep us updated. i always love projects like this. cool as shit stuff.
hetcopogg: assigned bitch at birth
groucho: i already got the glpyh started. i”m super excited.
[BEGIN LOG 1]
Lundell: Right. This is MTF Theta-36, Swedish Rhapsody. At present, we've been assigned to infiltrate SCP-XXXX and see if we can't keep this mess from getting messier. Sound off.
Officers Kuusela, Vennamo, Ceger, and Sims affirm.
Lundell: Good, good. We're…
Lundell trails off, turning his attention to SCP-XXXX.
Lundell: Okay, so… what the fuck am I looking at?
Kuusela: It's… certainly a house.
Lundell: Yeah, I get that. But…
All remains silent for several seconds, staring at SCP-XXXX.
Sims: So… memetics? Cognitos? Feel like I can't take my eyes off this thing.
Ceger: Oh, uh… right, right. Sorry about the, the delay. It's just… you know what, I'll get to it right now. Tell me if you see or feel anything funny-like.
Opening his pack, Officer Ceger takes out and sets up a perceptive filter, powering it on and bringing it up to his face. He pauses.
Kuusela: So?
Ceger: Everything is exactly the same.
Lundell: Fuck, okay. Right. Sims, keep an eye out for anything that could fall through the… "cracks", or that tries to touch the demo equipment. Ceger, let's case the outside just a bit more, see if we're not up against anything . Kuusela, Vennamo, can you find us a way in?
Kuusela: Sure thing, cap.
Officer Vennamo nods.
Lundell: Bless you both. Put in a call if you find anything that needs our full attention. We'll recon here.
[END LOG 1.1]
[BEGIN LOG 1.2A]
Officers Lundell and Ceger circle the grounds, taking note of SCP-XXXX and the landscape it rests upon.
Lundell: Am I supposed to be narrating this?
Ceger: Uh, I mean… hopefully your camera is getting info?
SCP-XXXX's appearance at Lundell's position is difficult to transcribe. Its modified portions are considerably larger than the space it takes up, shaped roughly like a pentagonal prism. The windows are opaque; some of the appear to be "melting" down the edifice. An exposed section of Olney-brand housewrap faces the camera directly, no matter the angle of the shot.
Lundell: And of course Olney's involved.
Sighing, Lundell removes a collapsible tripod from his pack, uncollapses it, and sets it on the ground.
Lundell: Do you want to use the countermemetic lens?
Ceger: Sir, it's… still the same?
Lundell: For us, yeah. What about the recording?
Ceger: I, uh, have to assume it'll be the same, sir.
Lundell: Sure, sure.
Lundell removes a camera from his pack, attaching it to the tripod. Both remain silent for several seconds.
Lundell: … I still don't fucking believe what I'm seeing.
Ceger: Likewise, sir.
[END LOG 1.2A]
groucho: uh okay does anyone here have any experience dealing with magical beasts and stuff
lesbian_gengar: i feel as tho it's a little reductive to say the judge is LITERALLY some gnostic angel.
polaricecraps: idk its a pretty accepted reading
lesbian_gengar: it's an accepted reading that jesus is the messiah, and i still don't buy it.
gaycopmp4: LMAO
bones: @groucho What is wrong?
polaricecraps: @orbhorse are you around
groucho: I think theres something wrong w/ my daevite smelthound
orbhorse: what
hetcopogg: smellhound lol
orbhorse: please tell me this is an elaboreate troll did fuddrucker put you up 2 this
groucho: no it's been attacking guests and it totall yruined the bathrooms
lesbian_gengar: anyway, the best part of blood meridian is when the judge talks about how much he hates birds.
steakshift: I'd have them all in zoos.
orbhorse: a daevite smelthound needs an entire plane of existence to prey upon. its one of the most notoriously ill-tempered of the afterlife guardian dogs. And you have one?
groucho: i have a big house and a lot of land it can play in.
polaricecraps: is this for protecting your house?
orbhorse: there is not enough space in a fucking city to house a smelthound of any reasonable size do you understand the kind of lives these things lead do you know what they even need to eat did you know they spontaneously give birth when they arent allowed to burn enough souls? have you dealt w/ a lot of animals that give virgin birth when they're mad? how many souls do you have on hand??????????
polaricecraps: why do you have this?
groucho: ive always liked rare dogs.
orbhorse: youre so fucking lucky the clone is sterile or else youd be choking to death on fucking smelthounds goddamn
steakshift: Couldn't it just give birth again?
orbhorse: no
groucho: guys does anyone have any experience dealing w sarkic artifacts
jello: LOAD BEARING WHAT
Inspired by the goons who risked life, limb, and dignity to make their architectural dreams come true (specifically, Groverhaus and that one bathroom guy, and also that one lady who wanted a livestock dog).
Per 
