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Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Full containment of SCP-XXXX is deferred to GOI-466 (Wilson's Wildlife Solutions) as per the Boring Agreement.
A maximum of ten SCP-XXXX Instances are to be contained in a standard containment cell with five dispensers filled with hand cream. These must be refilled when empty. SCP-XXXX’s fingernails must be cut on a weekly basis to prevent injury. Any extra instances are to be incinerated.
In the event of a containment breach, SCP-XXXX may be lured into the open with any available skincare product and captured using an appropriately sized container.
Description: SCP-XXXX are organisms resembling the human hand. The shape and size of individual specimens vary within the standard deviation for non-anomalous human appendages1. Each SCP-XXXX instance has a unique set of fingerprints and genetic analysis of SCP-XXXX has presented a 97% match to human DNA, a 2% match to the members of the phylum Porifera2, and the remaining unknown.
SCP-XXXX uses all five fingers to locomote and its heightened sense of touch to navigate. Although they are observed to travel in groups and form close bonds between each other, they will not aid instances being harmed. Instead, they would move in different directions to distance themselves from the threat. SCP-XXXX instances will defend themselves by scratching at perceived threats. Other tactics used to avoid danger include pinching, slapping, and tickling.
It applies mainly hand creams on itself as nourishment and occasionally would seek out alcohol if acne appears. It reproduces asexually as tumours would develop on the palm of an adult on an average of every 14 days and would be pushed out through the stump on the wrist, accompanied with excessive mucous to lubricate the opening for the birthing process to occur. Typically, the mucous will be consumed by other adults or juveniles.
Discovery: On 15/5/201█, GOI-466 (Wilson’s Wildlife Solutions) received numerous calls about SCP-XXXX infestations especially in skin care shops and warehouses. Agent Pot was sent out to investigate a warehouse in Texas, he then discovered that approximately 400 instances of SCP-XXXX were coating themselves with various creams, serums and skin care products as GOI-466 was in the process of keeping the situation under control.
Addendum SCP-XXXX-1: Partial list of incident logs
Incident Log SCP-XXXX-1
On 30/5/201█, A massaging centre in Georgia were reported to have "phantom massagers", it was then confirmed that the manager of the massaging centre successfully trained SCP-XXXX instances to act as massage therapists.
Incident Log SCP-XXXX-2
On 6/7/201█, A chef in the town of Boring, Oregon, reported to GOI-466 (Wilson’s Wildlife Solutions) after a hoard of ‘meaty-meaty spiders’ covered themselves in various food items such as honey, egg whites, vegetable purees and more. It also alarmed his customers by staying suspended in their cream soups and ‘exfoliating’ itself on croutons. It was then discovered that they were instances of SCP-XXXX.
Incident Log SCP-XXXX-3
On 7/2/201█, a video titled 'Catch these hands' surfaced. It shows three boys throwing SCP-XXXX instances to each other in a similar fashion to the American sport, Dodgeball.
For the full list of Incident logs, contact Dr Lemayo at Site-██.
Document SCP-XXXX-A: Further investigation pertaining to the origin of SCP-XXXX has led to the discovery of document SCP-XXXX-A. Document SCP-XXXX-A is identical texts imprinted on eight adult and one juvenile SCP-XXXX instances through scarring from burns within a 5-meter radius of the ███████ museum.
You inane buffoon, when I said I needed some helping hands to get some pearls and diamonds, I did not mean these useless, stupid abominations nor hand creams. You ruined everything, I hope your crappy business goes kaput.
Yesiam: Hi there Researcher Rev! Here is the outline of the SCP:
They are like mundane pests, cannot truly be contained or hidden from people, hence Wilson’s Wildlife Solution takes care of the containment (or pest control), Foundation can only keep ten instances of them for testing/ experimenting/ observational purposes. I suggest we take on a comical-weird tone to this, though I am open to your ideas.
Do you have any more ideas on the incident logs?
Rev
Hello yes, nothing personal just preferably call me Rev, that’ll be fine.
At the moment, I don’t have an ideas. I will though restructure some sentences/wording and help fix some grammar problems. Currently i’m Busy with irl stuff so I won’t be as active.
Yesiam: Its okay, no rush I am also busy with irl stuff too
