SCP-XXXX

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept without batteries in a locker in Site-███ Anomalous Item Storage. Testing is currently forbidden without Level 3 approval. Any D-class personnel assigned to SCP-XXXX must be screened for violent tendencies before being transferred to the project.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a ██████ brand laser pointer. It is powered by three (3) standard button-cell batteries which are accessible by unscrewing the end cap on the back. SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties are apparent when the object is powered on and pointed at a suitable target. Criteria for a suitable target are twofold, it must be sentient and unaware of the effects of SCP-XXXX. Once pointed at a target, a humanoid apparition will appear within 15 meters of it, henceforth designated SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX-1 is red in coloration and semi-transparent, with no visible facial features or external genitalia. It has been measured at approximately 1.8 meters in height, and has the physical build of a male human of ██ years of age. In addition, SCP-XXXX-1 constantly emits light, which has been measured at 450 lumens.

When summoned, SCP-XXXX-1 will attempt to play a practical joke on the target. The nature of these varies, and is further elaborated on in Testing Log XXXX-01. Testing has shown that, even when there is nothing in the immediate area for it to use, SCP-XXXX-1 will find some way to accomplish its task. In all cases, once the joke has been accomplished, SCP-XXXX-1 will begin laughing hysterically for 30-60 seconds. Individual responses to this have been mixed, with some subjects joining it in laughter, and others expressing emotions ranging from annoyance to outright contempt. Once the laughter has ceased, SCP-XXXX-1 will say, in a Boston accent, "That's all for now, see you next time!" before demanifesting.

Discovery: SCP-XXXX came into Foundation custody in 2003 after reports of a "mystery prankster" harassing people in ██████ ███████, Wisconsin. A child, Armaund ██ ██████, was seen playing with SCP-XXXX near ██████ Elder Care and harassing the residents with the object. The child was administered a Class-B amnestic after questioning and given a similar laser pointer.¹

Containment of SCP-XXXX was delayed for several hours as one of the agents assigned to retrieving it accidentally turned on the device, resulting in [REDACTED] after the vehicle transporting the retrieval team crashed into a tree. SCP-XXXX-1 manifested outside the vehicle and removed one of the wheels, causing it to veer off the road into a nearby forest.

+ Testing Log XXXX-01

Test Conductor: Researcher Heartbreak

All tests were conducted in the Site-███ test labs using D-class personnel.

Target	Joke Played	Result
D-5832, walking while holding banana.	SCP-XXXX-1 manifested behind target and used its leg to trip D-5832.	D-5832 fell on the banana, crushing it and coating his shirt. D-5832 laughs with the entity. Security footage recorded D-5832 saying "That was a pretty good gag". SCP-XXXX responded by giving a thumbs-up in addition to its normal pattern of behavior.
D-32233, standing still next to bucket of water. Subject was incarcerated for armed robbery and had a history of domestic violence.	SCP-XXXX-1 manifested next to bucket and dumped contents on D-32233.	D-32233 was visibly angered by this and attempted to attack the apparition, which resulted in {DATA EXPUNGED}. Researcher's Note: Testing personnel are to be screened for violent tendencies before assignment to SCP-XXXX in the future. -Researcher Heartbreak
D-5832, sitting in chair next to a radio. Wife recently died in car accident.	SCP-XXXX-1 manifested in adjacent test chamber holding a microphone. The voice of SCP-5832's deceased wife spoke over the radio, reciting the lyrics to "White Wedding" by American musician Billy Idol.	Upon hearing his wife's voice, D-5832 began to weep. Subject informed Researcher Heartbreak that "White Wedding" was "their song" and that he and his wife used to sing it together. Upon conclusion of song, SCP-XXXX-1 entered the test chamber and embraced D-5832. Apparition was recorded saying "I know what it's like. I'm so sorry." SCP-XXXX-1 continued embracing D-5832 for 43 seconds before demanifesting. Researcher's Note: This contradicts the normal pattern of behavior for SCP-XXXX-1. Perhaps it was human at one point? Further research into subjects with deceased relatives is being considered. -Researcher Heartbreak
D-9224, sitting on stool. Husband died of pancreatic cancer five years prior.	SCP-XXXX-1 manifested behind subject and pulled a leg off the stool.	D-9224 fell off of the stool. Upon closer examination, a portrait of D-9224's deceased husband was sketched on the bottom. Subject expressed great delight upon seeing this, calling the gift "thoughtful".
D-84442, holding a photo of the wrecked retrieval team's vehicle	N/A	SCP-XXXX-1 manifested behind D-84442. Upon seeing the photo, SCP-XXXX-1 began sobbing heavily while screaming "I didn't mean to" repeatedly, interspersed with unintelligible gibberish. Researcher's Note: Well, I'm not doing that again. In the future, I think we should refrain from showing it anything related to the retrieval team.
Researcher Heartbreak. SCP-XXXX was aimed at target through remote viewing window by D-3980. This test was not planned, but has been transcribed for research purposes.	SCP-XXXX-1 manifested in front of Researcher Heartbreak, carrying a bouquet of roses.	Researcher Heartbreak took the roses from SCP-XXXX-1. The roses immediately burst into flame, causing second-degree burns to Researcher Heartbreak's hands. SCP-XXXX-1 displays an offensive gesture before demanifesting. //Researcher's Note: I don't necessarily want to say "I had that coming", but I had that coming. I hope it considers us even now.

Note: A post-it note was found on Researcher Heartbreak's desk shortly after this test. Written on it was a message from a "Magnus B." The message reads as follows:

I'm sorry. I think I was a little too harsh. I know that you can't possibly understand the pain that I'm going through, but I try to make people's lives a little more mirthful. I hope you understand. Regards, Magnus B.

Investigations by Foundation operatives have indicated that an individual by the name of Magnus B████████ went missing in ██████ ███████, Wisconsin sometime around 1/4/2003. B████████'s property is located approx. 100 meters from the residence of Armaund ██ ██████'s family.

+ Interview Log XXXX-2003-4-2

Interviewer: Agent Frank Walsh
Interviewee: Armaund ██ ██████, henceforth referred to as POI-93842

Walsh: Alright, son, I'm going to ask you a few questions.

POI-93842: When you're done, can I go home?

Walsh: You can go home once we're done questioning you.

POI-93842: Okay. What do you want to know, officer?

Walsh: Where did you get the laser pointer?

POI-93842: Well, a big man came up to me one day and said he needed to give it to someone who would take care of it. He said I was a good kid and that it would keep me company when I was lonely.

Walsh: Can you describe the man for me?

POI-93842: He was nice, I guess. He seemed really sad about something but I was afraid to ask what it was.

Walsh: What did he look like?

POI-93842: Presses hands to temples. I don't really remember. I didn't really see his face or anything.

Walsh: Were you aware of the laser pointer's properties?

POI-93842: Its what?

Walsh: Did you know about the man that would appear when you pointed it at people?

POI-93842: The man started coming a few days after the big man gave it to me. I had a lot of fun with him. I had to keep it a secret, though. That's what the big man told me before he left.

Walsh: Did the man who gave it to you tell you his name?

POI-98342 springs up excitedly.

POI-93842: Yeah! His name was something like Maggots or Magis. I don't really remember.

Walsh: Okay. Thanks for answering my questions. Would you like a glass of water?

POI-93842: Sure!

Agent Walsh hands POI-93842 a cup of water laced with Class-B amnestic. Subject is released and a cover story is distributed to local news outlets.

Footnotes

1. See Interview Log XXXX-2003-4-2