Cornpocalypse

*GET READY FOR ALL THE PUNS MY FRIENDS*
*MAKE A BUNCH OF CHILDREN OF THE CORN REFERENCES
*SCP-1846*

Clint Holton had become accustomed to a few things throughout his fifty years on this earth. A nice car, beautiful wife, and a great career as a lobbyist. That is until the Foundation took it all away. Too be fair it wasn't there fault. No, the problem came when his body started sprouting these massive green leaves and the divine cornporeal entity tried to suck him away into the sky. Now, Clint wakes up everyday in this little glass containment cell as his stupid god tries to blow it away. Today though, he opened his eyes to a much different scene.

In front of him was a nearly endless field of these half corn, half people monsters. Each of the monstrosities held various weapons: Sickles, Machetes, and even some pesticide sprayers with tips spraying out fire. Directly in front of him stood this massive grassy entity with cobs of maize sprouting from it all over its body.

The monster looks down at Clint, "Finally my last angel has joined us. The cornerstones of our army are finally complete. Those jailors of yours were pretty smart to trap you in that box, but thanks to Cornelia here, we found a way to bring you back to us." He indicates to literally what looks like a large sapient cornstalk and it nods in return. Clint falls back into his bed cursing in his head about why he had to be so good at his former job. The entity turns around to face the army behind him.
"My warriors! Finally the day has come where we can bring our cornpocalypse down to the mortals!

"The scorn of the Earth will shake as we march"
Srqnabotf shouts, "Officers too the ready!". In response every corn soldier jumps to attention. Noticing this, Clint turns and asks, "Why did all of them react to that?".
"Well they're all the same rank of course."
"Wait what?"
"Of course it should be this way my dear angel. In this army, everyone is a Kernel"