CrazyBirdMan59

Item #: SCP-4526

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4526 is to be kept in a 2m x 1m x 2m standard non-galvanized parrot cage within Agent ████████'s on-site quarters when not accompanying Agent ████████ himself. It is to have access to clean water at all times, be fed high-grade parrot seed appropriate for one of its size once a day and presented with an assortment of fresh fruits and vegetables at least once every two (2) days. The cage should not be opened without Agent ████████ in the room, but 4526 is otherwise free to roam¹ Site-██ or whichever site Agent ████████ finds himself stationed in.

Whenever possible, SCP-4526 should be given a minimum of two (2) hours of contact with Agent ████████ to maintain its anomalous effects, and any personnel wishing to interact with SCP-4526 should consider their social standing with Agent ████████ before doing so.

Description: SCP-4526 is an average specimen of the Cacatua Galerita² genus, current age unknown. Possible causes for its anomalous behaviors are yet to be discovered, and at this point in time it is unknown whether Agent ████████ is the first of SCP-4526's owners to observe its anomalous properties.

SCP-4526 is able to vocalize in a manner and clarity unprecedented by its kind; many have observed its vocalizations to be indistinguishable from high-quality audio recordings. SCP-4526 will only vocalize in such a manner when its anomalous properties have been activated and will otherwise resume normal behavior.

Approximately two (2) weeks before any mortal danger can befall Agent ████████, Agent ███ or Researcher █████, SCP-4526 will begin anomalous behavior. It will begin vocalizing events which directly precede aforementioned mortal danger, including, but not limited to: conversations, animal cries, alarms, mechanical noise and music. SCP-4526 will vocalize to any humans it comes into contact with, regardless of whether this contact is direct or indirect. However, it will not vocalize to the same person twice, with the exemption of Agent ████████, who will be reminded every three (3) days leading up to the event.

Should SCP-4526 go more than two (2) days with less than four (4) hours of contact with Agent ████████, it will cease anomalous activity and begin behaving aggressively towards any humans who attempt to interact with it, resulting in typical parrot-related injuries such as crush injuries, scratches and punctures. The only personnel who have successfully handled SCP-4526 during this time are Agent ███ and Researcher █████³.

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Addendum 4526 A

+ Interview of First Prediction

<Begin Log>
Dr. ██████: I trust you know why you're here, Agent ████████?
Agent ████████: Yeah, the breach.
Dr. ██████: I've heard the talk, but for the sake of the record, can you tell me how you came to know SCP-███ would breach containment?
Agent ████████: Again?
Dr. ██████: Just for the record. This will be the last time, I promise.
Agent ████████: (Sighs) So, a few months back I bought a cockatoo, from that pet store, you know the one on [REDACTED]⁴? He's a real cool little guy, had a couple of owners before me so I dunno how old he is or anything.
Dr. ██████: (Raises an eyebrow)
Agent ████████: I'm getting there, okay? Anyway, a couple weeks back, he made this really weird noise, and started talking. It creeped me the hell out because that was Agent ███'s voice, and then I heard my own voice and we were just talking about how great the pizza here is. I uh, well, I hear █████ walk past, you know, the researcher from [REDACTED]? Yeah well, I was checking him out and ███ was having a laugh about it and we (Dr. ██████ cuts him off)
Dr. ██████: You talked for about two more minutes, yes?
Agent ████████: Oh, uh yeah, I suppose that's probably the quicker way of going about this.
Dr. ██████: Indeed. What happened next?
Agent ████████: Well, I was kind of freaking out because the bird knew so much about me and then he looks me dead in the eye and makes the breach alarm sound. The PA system goes off and says that SCP-███ has breached containment and then the bird goes quiet.
Dr. ██████: And how many times did the bird repeat this?
Agent ████████: Five times. I recorded it on my phone one time if you want to…?
Dr. ██████: I will submit the file alongside this record. Proceed.
Agent ████████: Right. Anyway, yesterday as you probably know, it was Pizza Tuesday and ███ and I were in the cafeteria talking about how good it was, then █████ walks past and I almost make a comment but, like, I get this feeling of deja vu because of the bird and I get up and I run to the on-duty security and scream in the guy's face like, 'check on SCP-███! Don't let SCP-███ get out!'. He calls it in and the guys do some close monitoring. SCP-███ tried to get out through [DATA EXPUNGED] which would have taken it through the cafeteria. Like, I would have died if it wasn't for that bird.
Dr. ██████: Just to clarify, you didn't hesitate in trusting the bird. May I ask why?
Agent ████████: (laughs) I've seen [DATA EXPUNGED]. What's an all-seeing parakeet compared to that?
Dr. ██████: And you are aware that your bird now classifies for an SCP status?
Agent ████████: Yeah, I helped 'bring him in' a few hours ago. Honestly, it's a bird. For the past four months the most dangerous thing he's done is nip my finger when I was feeding him a peanut.
Dr. ██████: Agent, I'm sure you're well aware of (Agent ████████ cuts him off)
Agent ████████: Yeah, yeah, protocol this, 'could be dormant properties' that. I get it.
Dr. ██████: That'll be all for now, thank you Agent ████████.
<End Log>

Addendum 4526 B
A note to all Site-██ staff: if Agent ████████ doesn't like you, don't touch the bird. We all know they're telepathically linked or something and I'm tired of treating bird-bites. Believe it or not we actually have a lot more important stuff to do than put plasters on your fingers.

-Doctor ███-████, on behalf of the entire infirmary staff.

Addendum 4526 C
Okay, this is the last time I'm going to say this: no, we are not going to terminate Agent ████████ to see if 4526 will 'switch hosts'. For starters, not only is Agent ████████ a member of the Foundation and an unnecessary casualty, but what makes you think he'll just let you? In case you've forgotten, the bird will warn him if he's going to die. Furthermore, what if Agent ████████'s death permanently deactivates 4526's anomalous properties? Then we would lose an Agent and a valuable, future-seeing asset. Just no. End of discussion.

-Researcher ███████

Addendum 4526 D
Due to the ever-increasing amount of requests for assistance from Agent ████████ and 4526 in predicting mission outcomes and potential containment breaches, a dedicated line has been set up for requesting his services. Please stop wasting our staff's time and radio batteries, we are no longer going to help you track him down. As a side note, MTF Epsilon-11 has first right of refusal due to the nature of their operations. Again, don't cry to us; whatever they're doing is probably more important than overseeing your experiments with a dancing teddy bear.

-Director ███ █████, Site-██

Footnotes

1. This is a slight overstatement, as 4526 has not been observed to stray more than 20m from Agent ████████ when outside of its cage.

2. Sulphur-Crested Cockatoo.

3. It is believed the reason behind this is Agent ███ and Agent ████████ were close squad-mates while Researcher █████ is currently in a romantic relationship with Agent ████████. It appears how SCP-4526 treats others is based on Agent ████████'s relationship with them. The means by which SCP-4526 discerns this information is unknown.

4. This location was investigated for information on the origin of 4526, but the empty store has reportedly been closed down for two years. No anomalous activity observed in location.