Per 
SCP-802-J-B mid-f███ing.
Item #: SCP-802-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-802-J is to be m█████ed in a 10x10x5 meter garage with 5 inch thick reinforced c█████ plating in order to keep Foundation personnel on-task at all times. SCP-802-J's bed must be sealed by a cover at all times. No personnel are to be authorized within SCP-802-J's cell at any given time, with the exception of the weekly f███ing. Once a week, 3 D-Class personnel must be placed in SCP-802-J's cell to lay ████ ███ the object in question. If SCP-802-J-B is not f██ at least a week after it becomes h█████, a ███ ████d must be dispatched depending on the severity of the object's ██████ and the time in between f███ings.
Description: SCP-802-J is a F███ F███ t████ that has a matte bl██ █████job and an unidentified white substance smeared on the doors. On the ████, there is a long ███████ approximately █-██ inches in length, known as SCP-802-J-A. SCP-802-J-A cannot be precisely measured due to its constantly varying size, length, and shape. SCP-802-J-A seems to have 2 "f███s": retracted, and e██ct. Aesthetically, the white substance and the ███████ are the only visible oddities.
SCP-802-J's anomalous properties c█m█ into effect when someone is inside of it, in front of it, or a di██ is inserted into it█ ███ ██████. When any of these three conditions are met, it will f██ forward at speeds varying in between 70mph and 630mph. It will continue to ██████████ until it manages to ████ its target, or until it is stopped by something it is unable to destroy (usually resulting in casualties anyway). After each instance of f█████, SCP-802-J has not shown any signs of damage or wear. As of writing, there is no way to prevent this effect once the conditions are met.
SCP-802-J was recovered in █████, Kansas when it f███ straight through three houses and a █as s██████. The driver was found ██f███ed and m████ed in the front seat, at which point the police were called and shortly after, a Foundation recovery team was dispatched. After arriving on scene, SCP-802-J f█████ed all of them, and f███ half███ ██████ the city, resulting in ██ casualties. It was eventually recovered by the Foundation after it got wedged in a small indent of rock.
Those within a 20 meter radius feel compelled to try to █████ SCP-802-J, walk in front of it, and in some cases, sit on its ████. The latter effect seems to be caused by SCP-802-J-A rather than the base entity itself, however. Animals are also affected by this property, and will instead try to c████ in front of SCP-802-J. ██████████s have concluded that at least 3 inches of reinforced c█████ will reduce and even nullify the effect entirely.
SCP-802-J-A emits electromagnetic pulses at a frequency of ██████ which appear to disrupt and scramble all electronic devices in a 10 meter radius. If anyone who has been diagnosed with ██████ is within this radius, they will attempt to sit on SCP-802-J's ████, as described above. SCP-802-J-A will constantly retract and extend based on how h████ SCP-802-J-B is, which is addressed below. The shortest recorded length SCP-802-J-A has been is █ inches, the longest being 3█ inches. Under certain circumstances, those ███████ed by SCP-802-J-A will sit on the ███████ itself, leading to unfortunate damage.1
SCP-802-J-B is a vaguely wolf-like creature that resides in the bed of SCP-802-J. It has beige coloring, a thin coat of fur, and a black stripe going up its back. It is quite small, as if it's a cub, however it has razor-sharp teeth that have been examined to cu█ multiple different m████s with a simple b███. It is docile and will not ████ck people unless it has not been fed ████ d██k meat for longer than a week. If left unf██ for a week, it will enter a hostile state and ████ck anyone on sight. After f███ing a victim and c███uming them, SCP-802-J-B will return to a docile state and ██ck ██ SCP-802-J██ ███.
Additional Notes:
Dr. F███:
Well, ████ suck█. Dr. Mol███er █████ed his phone in a deep fryer, which busted ███ on ███ ████ the whole document. Now, random stuff is redacted and f███ed ██. This not only makes the document 10 times harder ██ ████, but makes it a lot more explicit. I can't ███████ ██ fuck██ it ██. How do you get in the Foundation with ██a█ butt█████████?! I can't deal with his fucking █of███-███████ butt████████s anymore. I just can't. It's painful to watch and makes me ███cum████ ████████. I've filed a report and notified the other staff. He won't be ████ing for long.
