Per 
Item #: SCP-5885
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5885 must be contained in a 5x8 meter cell. If the glass beaker held in SCP-5885’s left hand is shown filling up, 50ml of Anaesthetic must be injected into SCP-5885’s right hand within 5 minutes.
SCP-5885’s left hand must strapped to the wall with Chromium to avoid it spilling its radioactive substance. SCP-5885 must be injected with 10ml of Anaesthetic every 24 hours and is to be kept under constant surveillance.
Only D-Class personnel are permitted into SCP-5885’s cell, any supervising staff must wear protective gear. They both must have a thorough shower after being in a 5 meter radius of SCP-5885. SCP-5885 is accounted for at Site-62.
Description: SCP-5885 is a 7.5 meter tall humanoid creature with a meter long neck. It has a neon green top hat that can’t seemed to be removed, use of this object has not been identified but is able to be removed, although 5885 will enter a distressed state and scream loud enough to burst the eardrums of anyone in a 50 meter radius of 5885 until the hat is put back.
SCP-5885 has deemed to be unable to turn its neck, using its extremely hard orange bow tie to brake its neck in order to turn. SCP-5885 has been reported having extremely fast regeneration abilities and super human intelligence.
SCP-5885 is able to replicate human speech, it can speak any language as long it has heard at least 1 word of said language. SCP-5885 doesn’t have the need to consume water of food and doesn’t seem to have any reproductive organs.
SCP-5885 skin is a light grey and has its eyes talking up half it’s face, it’s has a measuring beaker used in science experiments as it’s left hand, this will fill up with a highly radioactive substance under 5885’s will. SCP-5885 will either spill this substance on the ground creating a clone in any size, this clone will have its intelligence decreased by 50% every time another clone is created, although 5885’s intelligence will stay the same.
SCP-5885 may also spill its substance on a living creature, killing the creature within 1-5 seconds. Anyone in a 100 meter radius of the body will gain radioactive poisoning, no cure has been found. SCP-5885 also has ability to mass produce the substance, overflowing the beaker being able to create as many clones as 5885 wants.
Escapes of 5885 are frequent as the only known thing able to keep 5885 inactive, is Anaesthetic which fails often.
SCP-5885 seems to be able to tell the time even when asleep, as on Monday, SCP-5885 will become extremely ‘happy’ and will immediately wake up from any Anaesthetic and will repeat ‘It’s Monday!!!’ In British-English over and over again. SCP-5885 is also reported wearing a pink T-shirt and green leggings. In this state SCP-5885 is revered to as SCP-5885-KM. SCP-5884-KM is non-hostile and is very cooperative with the foundation. When escapes, the only way to get SCP-5885 back into containment is to wait until Monday. High amounts of damage are caused during this wait.
